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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (14 Viewers)

Mom is out of town so figured would grab Cal up and go see my Dad. Wonderful but learned some bad stuff happening. Whatever.

Mrs. SLB shows up with my youngest. I'm pretty hot. Thing is I'm wearing my "Wiffle Ball Legend" shirt and he wants a piece. I haven't thrown a ball in almost thirty years and it showed. He almost took my head off twice. I would like to think it was because of the beer.

Dad really didn't want us around anymore, I know him that well, so we left for a pub up the street.  We order our food and while we are waiting Cal begins on a very thought out reason why he deserves a laptop. It would make Gates blush. He was interrupted though when he saw and elderly couple leaving. On it. I almost cried I was so proud.

Cal continued. People were looking. I dont ####### care. He finished with "Everything presented, I think you should allow me a laptop".

He literally did everything that I taught him to. A lot that I learned from you jerks here. What a feeling.

I told him I needed to sleep on it.  He persisted. I challenged him still and said I needed to think about it. He said that was fine. Then asked me again.

Dust settles, turn to my right and Dylan asks "can you explain what just happened in Dylan speak?". 

Me: Chromebook bad. Laptop good

He laughs so hard he hits his head on the railing behind him.

Everything goes silent

With this twinkle in his eye, Dylan says loudly, "So dad I never knew you had a ski mask".

We went home listened to some of his music and listened to some of mine. He needed DMC before bed.

I'm still laughing

 
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St. Louis Bob said:
Mom is out of town so figured would grab Cal up and go see my Dad. Wonderful but learned some bad stuff happening. Whatever.

Mrs. SLB shows up with my youngest. I'm pretty hot. Thing is I'm wearing my "Wiffle Ball Legend" shirt and he wants a piece. I haven't thrown a ball in almost thirty years and it showed. He almost took my head off twice. I would like to think it was because of the beer.

Dad really didn't want us around anymore, I know him that well, so we left for a pub up the street.  We order our food and while we are waiting Cal begins on a very thought out reason why he deserves a laptop. It would make Gates blush. He was interrupted though when he saw and elderly couple leaving. On it. I almost cried I was so proud.

Cal continued. People were looking. I dont ####### care. He finished with "Everything presented, I think you should allow me a laptop".

He literally did everything that I taught him to. A lot that I learned from you jerks here. What a feeling.

I told him I needed to sleep on it.  He persisted. I challenged him still and said I needed to think about it. He said that was fine. Then asked me again.

Dust settles, turn to my right and Dylan asks "can you explain what just happened in Dylan speak?". 

Me: Chromebook bad. Laptop good

He laughs so hard he hits his head on the railing behind him.

Everything goes silent

With this twinkle in his eye, Dylan says loudly, "So dad I never knew you had a ski mask".

We went home listened to some of his music and listened to some of mine. He needed DMC before bed.

I'm still laughing
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Can you explain what just happened in sober speak?

(you know I love you, right?)

 
Oh and it rained here for about 2 minutes.  It's 102 freaking degrees. We don't have summer showers here.  All it did was make it humid.  Total BS.  Thanks Hillary.

 
St. Louis Bob said:
He's got the laptop. Even paying for it himself. It's just so incredible that at 13 he's almost as big as me in every way.

He really grew up over the summer. He's a pain in the ### but not the same pain. He shouldn't be in the 8th grade. Maybe college. Seriously.
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Damn can't believe he's in 8th.  Awesome.  

Just checked the Mizzeruh Social Studies Standards. Seems like they're in line with ours here.  I might have to ask Cal for pointers.

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Damn can't believe he's in 8th.  Awesome.  

Just checked the Mizzeruh Social Studies Standards. Seems like they're in line with ours here.  I might have to ask Cal for pointers.
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I used to think he would go to CC, live at home. Which I was fine with. May still but he quickly grew into himself. I'm not saying this just because he's my son but he's the kind of  person that changes the world. If he wants to. I didn't think it was a possibility just six months ago. He knows stuff

 
Open House at Cal's school Tuesday.  The hiStoRy teacher began by saying "Hello future parents of the next generation!" .  Only a couple of people replied so same thing.  Got more takes the second time around.  I didn't say a thing but thought if you did anything like that I want to punch you.

 
Speaking of 8th graders...most of them have no sense of time/history.

I've got a bunch of old staff/class pictures from our school up in my room.  Some from when I first started (Insert dumb ### cave painting joke here), some from the 80s, and some going back to the late 50s-early 60s.

One looks like this http://www.yarrowbc.ca/images/publicschools/yarrowschool_19.jpg (that's me, middle row, 2nd from left haaarrrrr!)

The other day a couple of kids were looking at it and arguing about which one was their math teacher, Mr. Trent.  Now Mr. Trent is like 44 and looks exactly 44.

 I asked them "wait, you think one of those men is Mr. Trent? Notice the pic is black and white? All the clothes and hair are olde tyme?"

They both gave me blank looks.

I told them "Actually Mr. Trent is like 5 years younger than me. And that photo is about 65 years old.  Oh, and all those people are dead."

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Speaking of 8th graders...most of them have no sense of time/history.

I've got a bunch of old staff/class pictures from our school up in my room.  Some from when I first started (Insert dumb ### cave painting joke here), some from the 80s, and some going back to the late 50s-early 60s.

One looks like this http://www.yarrowbc.ca/images/publicschools/yarrowschool_19.jpg (that's me, middle row, 2nd from left haaarrrrr!)

The other day a couple of kids were looking at it and arguing about which one was their math teacher, Mr. Trent.  Now Mr. Trent is like 44 and looks exactly 44.

 I asked them "wait, you think one of those men is Mr. Trent? Notice the pic is black and white? All the clothes and hair are olde tyme?"

They both gave me blank looks.

I told them "Actually Mr. Trent is like 5 years younger than me. And that photo is about 65 years old.  Oh, and all those people are dead."
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Open House at Cal's school Tuesday.  The hiStoRy teacher began by saying "Hello future parents of the next generation!" .  Only a couple of people replied so same thing.  Got more takes the second time around.  I didn't say a thing but thought if you did anything like that I want to punch you.
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:lmao:  good god

Parents love my back to school patter because I don't BS them.

"I'm probably your kid's favorite teacher and about to become yours too because I really don't give homework"

"And since it isn't in the state standards there aren't any huge projects for you to do...I mean for your kids to do"

"Yes, I was on Jeopardy. No, you may not touch me."

"If your kid has a low grade there's a 90% chance they aren't doing their work or turning it in. Check my website, check their folder check the online gradebook. It's that easy."

"We only have a few minutes tonight so if you have any specific questions, email me or meet me at O'Brien's later on. I drink IPAs and well whiskey and diet." :fingerguns:

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
:lmao:  good god

Parents love my back to school patter because I don't BS them.

"I'm probably your kid's favorite teacher and about to become yours too because I really don't give homework"

"And since it isn't in the state standards there aren't any huge projects for you to do...I mean for your kids to do"

"Yes, I was on Jeopardy. No, you may not touch me."

"If your kid has a low grade there's a 90% chance they aren't doing their work or turning it in. Check my website, check their folder check the online gradebook. It's that easy."

"We only have a few minutes tonight so if you have any specific questions, email me or meet me at O'Brien's later on. I drink IPAs and well whiskey and diet." :fingerguns:
Click to expand...
Rules :lmao:

 
Seriously  though, you introduce yourself as Mr.or Ms or Mrs..................

I'll give your classroom every office supply you need for the rest of the year but lighten up, Rick.

 
Insider secret for parents of 7-12 graders.  If your school holds back to school night within the first 2 weeks...we really have no idea who your kid is.  

Them: "Hi, we're Raden's parents."

Me: :shuked: 

Of course if the teacher says "Oh, Raden. 3rd period. Sure. Sits in the 2nd row. " It means your kid has distinguished himself and not in a good way.

And I actually have a Raden.  No idea if his parents were Mortal Kombat fans.  I will say that this kid looks like he would need a nap after 15 minutes of playing a standup videya game.

 
My daughter has a friend named Caymmin. Her dad played for the Patriots. I cleaned and staged my house after paying pros to clean and stage my house. We had an open house today, so I had to be gone. I went to my sisters to have a place to hang out with the BiL and watch some football. Boring. Guy never shuts up about the glory days. Kind of sad being he's been in a wheelchair since he was 25 and he's turning 60 this year. I discovered a funny thing about him awhile ago. Sometimes I have to drive him places. So if we're in their truck and I depress the break slowly but a little harder than necessary he starts leaning forward and if I give a good push to stop his head bounces off the windshield frame by the sun visor. I do this when traffic permits and he says really dumb things, which is pretty common. My sis saw me do it in bumper to bumper LA traffic and asked if I did it on purpose. I was a little scared because she's so protective, but I owned it, and all three of us laughed so hard I got pulled over. Anyway my daughter told Cayminn this story today and her mom says I'm going to hell. I have an offer on my house. It's so close to what I told myself I would accept, they hit my number but want my dining room furniture and a library that's probably worth a couple grand. I may agree to be homeless in the morning. I may say hellnaw and take the place off the market. This is happening fast. 

 
St. Louis Bob said:
I'm having a drink. Ha! Celebrate thie good times.
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Odd but I haven't had a drop of alcohol since sometime in June. I had a six pack too fast that day and felt like garbage, never buzzed, and a headache that gave me insomnia. So since then, I've been tee-totaling. I may prefer it. 

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Oh and it rained here for about 2 minutes.  It's 102 freaking degrees. We don't have summer showers here.  All it did was make it humid.  Total BS.  Thanks Hillary.
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It was 110 here today whiner. BUT it just poured buckets for 20 minutes straight. Lots of thunder and lightning. And that's all folks. It will rain here again next year.

 
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Chaos Commish said:
My daughter has a friend named Caymmin. Her dad played for the Patriots. I cleaned and staged my house after paying pros to clean and stage my house. We had an open house today, so I had to be gone. I went to my sisters to have a place to hang out with the BiL and watch some football. Boring. Guy never shuts up about the glory days. Kind of sad being he's been in a wheelchair since he was 25 and he's turning 60 this year. I discovered a funny thing about him awhile ago. Sometimes I have to drive him places. So if we're in their truck and I depress the break slowly but a little harder than necessary he starts leaning forward and if I give a good push to stop his head bounces off the windshield frame by the sun visor. I do this when traffic permits and he says really dumb things, which is pretty common. My sis saw me do it in bumper to bumper LA traffic and asked if I did it on purpose. I was a little scared because she's so protective, but I owned it, and all three of us laughed so hard I got pulled over. Anyway my daughter told Cayminn this story today and her mom says I'm going to hell. I have an offer on my house. It's so close to what I told myself I would accept, they hit my number but want my dining room furniture and a library that's probably worth a couple grand. I may agree to be homeless in the morning. I may say hellnaw and take the place off the market. This is happening fast. 
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:lmao:

 
That reminds me of a great family story.

I have a step aunt we'll call Sue.  Sue got married right out of HS to a guy we'll call Stu.  This is like back in the mid 60s.

Sue was/is very mousy and timid. Stu took advantage of this. Stu was a blue collar guy from somewhere in Western PA.  Like a Pittsburgh version of Dale Gribble. Scrawny and opinionated.

Stu was also a big time drunk. Most nights of the week Stu would get off work from his sheet metal job and then hit the local bar for like 3 hours then come home.  Some nights he would stay much later.  

On those late nights he would drunkenly climb into bed and insist that Sue perform her wifely duties and then pass out.

Sue hated this but figured it was her job as a wife.

After all was said and done Sue would, of course, have to use the bathroom. When she would come back to bed, tired/used/annoyed there would be Stu all passed out and content.

Sue was never one to stand up to her husband in broad daylight or defy him but on those nights she couldnt contain herself.

The way she tells it she would grab Stu's feet and bang his scrawny, chicken ankles together 5 or 6 times.  Stu never felt it...until the next day.

For like 5 years Stu would ask his drinking buddies after a hard night "What the hell did I do last night? My ankles hurt like hell."

IIRC Sue told him the truth about 5 years later during a big fight.

 
Chaos Commish said:
Scary huh. Speaking of you you posted a picture today and I almost ended up at Crystal Cove with nothing better to do appreciate it in real life.
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nah, not so scary.  just ramblin.  i do it all the time.  sometimes i worry about the grammar police, but #### them.  :smoo:  crystal cove?  that's my hood!   down in newport?

eta:  i love driving down pch in the summer.  the bathing suits are getting smaller and smaller..

 
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DA RAIDERS said:
nah, not so scary.  just ramblin.  i do it all the time.  sometimes i worry about the grammar police, but #### them.  :smoo:  crystal cove?  that's my hood!   down in newport?
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I know where you live. I saw the nekkid babe on the beach as I was being forced to abandon my place with nowhere to go. I seriously considered a ride to Uncle Dan's (Laguna) and sunset wherever she was.

 
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