GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing

[Bob Sacamano 10,389]

3 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

Welcome back Astros!

Make a hotdog, crack open a beer, turn on the game and SPringer knocks a dinger

 

same as it ever was

eta Bregman doubles

You going to biggie's shindig this year?

Edited March 29, 2018 by Bob Sacamano

[cosjobs 15,376]

Just now, General Malaise said:

And, the HOUSTON OPEN is going on!!!  

Not a polo fan

[cosjobs 15,376]

Just now, Bob Sacamano said:

You going to biggie's shindig this year?

I'd like to. but date looks bad for me. Maybe

[Ron Swanson 3,224]

4 hours ago, Thomas The Skank Engine said:

Btw do patrons really care if everything is "house-made".  That's getting up there with "Applewood smoked", "Hand spun" and other restaurant clichés.

In Restaurant speak it means "not Sysco". At least until Sysco's new "house-made" brand debuts next week.

[Ignoramus 5,794]

28 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

Welcome back Astros!

Make a hotdog, crack open a beer, turn on the game and SPringer knocks a dinger

 

same as it ever was

eta Bregman doubles

What's your hot dog recipe?

[Bob Sacamano 10,389]

On the one hand, it's nice that hating the Cubs no longer feels like pissing on a homeless guy.

On the other hand, I miss pissing on the homeless guy. 

[cosjobs 15,376]

10 minutes ago, Ignoramus said:

What's your hot dog recipe?

Hebrew national franks and wolf brand chili, with mustard, cheese and onions, side of fritos

Edited March 29, 2018 by cosjobs

[St. Louis Bob 6,538]

I had the most ####ed up dream this morning.

 

It starts, I'm in a golf tournament with a bunch of buddies.  Except instead of using golf balls, we're using wiffle balls. Because of the way a wiffle ball will curve, every one of my shots ends up hooking or slicing at the end of the shot.  One shot lands in a strippers dressing room and I have to hit the wiffle ball through a small square window, that had glass in it, and to the green.  I make the shot, breaking the glass, and sure as #### it slices off the green.  Thankfully it was the last hole so we grab some beers and head back to the hotel we're staying at.

<<<This is where it get crazy>>>

I'm walking up some steps with a couple of my younger cousins and they tell me they rented a movie to watch.  The title is The Seven, a scary movie.  I don't like scary movies and say as such but next thing I know I'm watching and in the movie.

It starts with a huge museum, probably a 500 foot square room with 100 foot ceilings.  On all of the walls are painted portraits of various sizes.  There's a curator and he's hanging a small painting of a woman next to a large one of a man.  After it's hung the man in the painting says "My darling!" with a southern drawl.  The woman in the painting next to him replies "Oh daddy I have waited so long to hear your voice again!"

Then it is revealed that everyone in the paintings made a deal with the devil for immortal life. Once a year 3 of them would be randomly picked to be put in their bodies again for 24 hours. In that time that had to bring someone back to the museum that was pure of heart to be sacrificed to the devil.  If they succeed they go back on the wall and their portrait is slightly bigger.  If they failed they would be sent to hell. 

There was only one scene attempting to do so and it was of a woman dressed like a southern belle on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor.  She was talking to a girl I could not see trying to convince her that she was scrubbing the floor to be closer to God and there was a museum she really needed to see.

The last scene is there are three painting, I can't see the faces, and the curator has the giant steamer and he's steaming the paint off the canvas's.  I felt like my face was on fire and woke up violently shaking my head

[McJose 9,395]

7 hours ago, pricklypete said:

I'm going to hell.

Me too

[McJose 9,395]

6 hours ago, Thomas The Skank Engine said:

Btw do patrons really care if everything is "house-made".  That's getting up there with "Applewood smoked", "Hand spun" and other restaurant clichés.

Rich Corinthian leather.

[Thomas The Skank Engine 517]

2 hours ago, DA RAIDERS said:

artisan

good one.

Wood-fired

[cosjobs 15,376]

1 minute ago, Thomas The Skank Engine said:

good one.

Wood-fired

locally sourced

Edited March 29, 2018 by cosjobs

[Aaron Rudnicki 9,064]

15 minutes ago, St. Louis Bob said:

I had the most ####ed up dream this morning.

 

It starts, I'm in a golf tournament with a bunch of buddies.  Except instead of using golf balls, we're using wiffle balls. Because of the way a wiffle ball will curve, every one of my shots ends up hooking or slicing at the end of the shot.  One shot lands in a strippers dressing room and I have to hit the wiffle ball through a small square window, that had glass in it, and to the green.  I make the shot, breaking the glass, and sure as #### it slices off the green.  Thankfully it was the last hole so we grab some beers and head back to the hotel we're staying at.

<<<This is where it get crazy>>>

I'm walking up some steps with a couple of my younger cousins and they tell me they rented a movie to watch.  The title is The Seven, a scary movie.  I don't like scary movies and say as such but next thing I know I'm watching and in the movie.

It starts with a huge museum, probably a 500 foot square room with 100 foot ceilings.  On all of the walls are painted portraits of various sizes.  There's a curator and he's hanging a small painting of a woman next to a large one of a man.  After it's hung the man in the painting says "My darling!" with a southern drawl.  The woman in the painting next to him replies "Oh daddy I have waited so long to hear your voice again!"

Then it is revealed that everyone in the paintings made a deal with the devil for immortal life. Once a year 3 of them would be randomly picked to be put in their bodies again for 24 hours. In that time that had to bring someone back to the museum that was pure of heart to be sacrificed to the devil.  If they succeed they go back on the wall and their portrait is slightly bigger.  If they failed they would be sent to hell. 

There was only one scene attempting to do so and it was of a woman dressed like a southern belle on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor.  She was talking to a girl I could not see trying to convince her that she was scrubbing the floor to be closer to God and there was a museum she really needed to see.

The last scene is there are three painting, I can't see the faces, and the curator has the giant steamer and he's steaming the paint off the canvas's.  I felt like my face was on fire and woke up violently shaking my head

forgot to tag @bostonfred

[McJose 9,395]

3 hours ago, kevzilla said:

This is my job, but I'll be damned if I can find an accident code for closing a hatchback on your own head. 

The hatch on my 12 year old hatchback doesn’t go all the way up if you’re not careful.  I bang my head on it about once a week.  

I wonder if I can sue Mazda for my CTE.

[McJose 9,395]

1 hour ago, Ron Swanson said:

In Restaurant speak it means "not Sysco". At least until Sysco's new "house-made" brand debuts next week.

#teamUsFoods

[cosjobs 15,376]

2 minutes ago, McJose said:

The hatch on my 12 year old hatchback doesn’t go all the way up if you’re not careful.  I bang my head on it about once a week.  

I wonder if I can sue Mazda for my CTE.

use a broom handle or buy a sedan

[McJose 9,395]

22 minutes ago, St. Louis Bob said:

I had the most ####ed up dream this morning.

 

It starts, I'm in a golf tournament with a bunch of buddies.  Except instead of using golf balls, we're using wiffle balls. Because of the way a wiffle ball will curve, every one of my shots ends up hooking or slicing at the end of the shot.  One shot lands in a strippers dressing room and I have to hit the wiffle ball through a small square window, that had glass in it, and to the green.  I make the shot, breaking the glass, and sure as #### it slices off the green.  Thankfully it was the last hole so we grab some beers and head back to the hotel we're staying at.

<<<This is where it get crazy>>>

I'm walking up some steps with a couple of my younger cousins and they tell me they rented a movie to watch.  The title is The Seven, a scary movie.  I don't like scary movies and say as such but next thing I know I'm watching and in the movie.

It starts with a huge museum, probably a 500 foot square room with 100 foot ceilings.  On all of the walls are painted portraits of various sizes.  There's a curator and he's hanging a small painting of a woman next to a large one of a man.  After it's hung the man in the painting says "My darling!" with a southern drawl.  The woman in the painting next to him replies "Oh daddy I have waited so long to hear your voice again!"

Then it is revealed that everyone in the paintings made a deal with the devil for immortal life. Once a year 3 of them would be randomly picked to be put in their bodies again for 24 hours. In that time that had to bring someone back to the museum that was pure of heart to be sacrificed to the devil.  If they succeed they go back on the wall and their portrait is slightly bigger.  If they failed they would be sent to hell. 

There was only one scene attempting to do so and it was of a woman dressed like a southern belle on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor.  She was talking to a girl I could not see trying to convince her that she was scrubbing the floor to be closer to God and there was a museum she really needed to see.

The last scene is there are three painting, I can't see the faces, and the curator has the giant steamer and he's steaming the paint off the canvas's.  I felt like my face was on fire and woke up violently shaking my head

wtf

[McJose 9,395]

4 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

use a broom handle or buy a sedan

It stays up but it doesn’t go all the way up, like it should, unless you push it.  I just forget to.

[McJose 9,395]

4 minutes ago, McJose said:

It stays up but it doesn’t go all the way up, like it should, unless you push it.  I just forget to.

IN BEFORE “SEX TAPE”

[Bob Sacamano 10,389]

6 minutes ago, McJose said:

It stays up but it doesn’t go all the way up, like it should, unless you push it.  I just forget to.

Try pulling it instead

[McJose 9,395]

Birb deal

[St. Louis Bob 6,538]

19 minutes ago, McJose said:

wtf

Seriously.  The last time I watched a "scary" movie was one of the Nightmare on Elm Street flicks  25-30 years ago.

[St. Louis Bob 6,538]

7 minutes ago, McJose said:

Birb deal

Crows are awesome.

Quote

Crows are extremely intelligent birds. They are known for their problem-solving skills and amazing communication skills. For example, when a crow encounters a mean human, it will teach other crows how to identify the human. In fact, research shows that crows don’t forget a face.

Many types of crows are solitary, but they will often forage in groups. Others stay in large groups. A group of crows is called a murder. When one crow dies, the murder will surround the deceased. This funeral isn’t just to mourn the dead, though. The crows gather together to find out what killed their member. Then, the murder of crows will band together and chase predators in a behavior called mobbing.

Edited March 29, 2018 by St. Louis Bob

[Osaurus 9,409]

Rays: 

[DA RAIDERS 5,059]

1 hour ago, cosjobs said:

locally sourced

sustainably..

[kevzilla 8,406]

'ninja is up there in British Columbia enjoying free-range poutine

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

9 minutes ago, DA RAIDERS said:

1 hour ago, cosjobs said:

locally sourced

sustainably..

haricot verts.

[cosjobs 15,376]

1 minute ago, Binky The Doormat said:

haricot verts.

that's French

[Osaurus 9,409]

11 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

'ninja is up there in British Columbia enjoying free-range poutine

Had it in Kamloops. Meh.

[cosjobs 15,376]

2 hours ago, cosjobs said:

Hebrew national franks and wolf brand chili, with mustard, cheese and onions, side of fritos

I'll probably fry some tater tots to make the dinner more upscale. Put the chili, cheese and onion with a dollop of sour cream all on top of the tots and just put mustard and onion, maybe some kraut on the dog.

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

2 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

4 minutes ago, Binky The Doormat said:

haricot verts.

that's French

it's also a word used to charge $7-$9 for a side dish of green beans.

[cosjobs 15,376]

fried tots in butter >>> fried tots in oil >>>>>>>>>>>>>> baked tots >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>²⁴ microwaved tots

[cosjobs 15,376]

Just now, Binky The Doormat said:

it's also a word used to charge $7-$9 for a side dish of green beans.

I like ordering it - "and a side of Harry Colbert"

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

Just now, cosjobs said:

I like ordering it - "and a side of Harry Colbert"

you lost me.

[cosjobs 15,376]

2 minutes ago, Binky The Doormat said:

you lost me.

That's how its pronounced in french

Hair - ee- co  bear

Harry Colbert

Edited March 29, 2018 by cosjobs

[Binky The Doormat 13,111]

Just now, cosjobs said:

it how its pronounced in french

Hair - ee- co  bear

Harry Colbert

lol - 

[cosjobs 15,376]

New dish Hari Kari Colbert

Japanese green beans served at Wrigley

[RC94 2,136]

I had interviews all day today, starting at 9am.  I met with 6 people from 2 different companies.  What a tiring and stressful day, but I think they went well and I am excited about both of these opportunities.  Both are in my field in huge management consulting companies so they are a perfect fit since I have spent much of my career in that industry.

[cosjobs 15,376]

21 minutes ago, RC94 said:

I had interviews all day today, starting at 9am.  I met with 6 people from 2 different companies.  What a tiring and stressful day, but I think they went well and I am excited about both of these opportunities.  Both are in my field in huge management consulting companies so they are a perfect fit since I have spent much of my career in that industry.

You should have been a doctor like your dad

[Dan Lambskin 13,752]

56 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

That's how its pronounced in french

Hair - ee- co  bear

Harry Colbert

In usually say Hair Corvair

still remember when I was a kid and would see hors d'oeuvre in books and would call them Whores Devors and it wasn’t until years later that i put 2 and 2 together 

[RC94 2,136]

33 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

You should have been a doctor like your dad

There are times when I think about how much easier it would have been to go into the family business (aside from the difference in intensity in grad school), but that was never the right kind of work for me.

[McJose 9,395]

50 minutes ago, Dan Lambskin said:

In usually say Hair Corvair

still remember when I was a kid and would see hors d'oeuvre in books and would call them Whores Devors and it wasn’t until years later that i put 2 and 2 together 

I always say“whores dware vrays”

Seems classier.

[General Malaise 28,129]

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

[McJose 9,395]

1 minute ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

 x 십

what the #### is the matter with you?

[RC94 2,136]

2 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

You should learn how to speak Korean and then order in Korean but with an American accent.  That would blow their minds.

[Dan Lambskin 13,752]

3 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

“Hey issa me, Forrest.  Lemme hava the spaghett “

[Fightin Donkey 23]

17 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

So awesome

Edited March 30, 2018 by Fightin Donkey

[Fightin Donkey 23]

7 hours ago, mr. furley said:

not yet

but he definitely enjoys talking as if he makes the rules and gets to dictate roles and responsibilities to people that either don't work with him, don't work for him or don't even work at the same freaking company

COULD YOU IMAGINE!?!?!?!

[shuke 23,081]

2 hours ago, General Malaise said:

We order Korean take out a few times a month from the same joint.  Have for years.  Outstanding place, think I recommended it to @Aaron Rudnicki once upon a time when his sister lived over here near me.

I have a bad habit of mimicking whatever accent I am speaking to over the phone.  If I'm talking to a person in the south, I'm suddenly Sam Elliott.  You're from Boston, I'm now Boston Rob on the other end of the line.  If my amigo from Mexico Sosa calls me at work, I transition into Andres Cantor.  

Anyhow, I order up Korean the other night over the phone and upon arrival, am greeted with my bag of food and a mild admonishment from the guy processing my payment who said; "I always know it's you when you call because you speak with the worst fake Korean accent I've ever heard.  You don't need to do that."

I asked if I could text orders from now on, but he laughed and said he looks forward to my calls and piss poor attempt at sounding like a Korean.

   

Is this on purpose or do you do it involuntarily?

[McJose 9,395]

My brother, the Jesusy one, had to call Microsoft support a couple of years ago.  Of course, the call center was in India.  

The rep told him “hold on one moment, Sir, while I look up your information.  Brother’s wife asks him what’s going on.

Brother, in the most sing-song Apu stereotypical accent, tells her “I am right now being currently put on the hold thankyouverymuch”.

Customer rep “You know, Sir, I can hear you very well. You are not on THE HOLD thankyouverymuch.”