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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing


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HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

Everybody take a minute tonight (or today) to raise a glass to HeckDad.  My sister just called to tell me that he passed away at home.  Don't have details other than he fell, but he was 94 with a bad

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7 hours ago, -fish- said:

I will never hit the leaderboard, since I use rover on portable devices and fish on my laptop.  The odd thing is that fish gets a far higher ratio of likes per post than rover does.  I think people are just freaked out by the eye.

That’s an eye? I thought it was a hat. 

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5 minutes ago, St. Louis Bob said:

I need to ask around town and pay the bill,  I think that would serve her need better.  Thanks GB. @Thorn

 

If I have to I still have @krista4 number.  I know it isn't her specialty but she's smatt.

GB Thorn has the right advice, but if I were you I'd do the thing anyway (the executorship, not the daughter) because I'm a softie.  But let me know if I can help in any way.

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24 minutes ago, St. Louis Bob said:

Curious though for some opinions on the following situation. I have a good friend that is 74 and got sick in early February.  We've been close friends for 26 years.  Had a heart attack, died 3 times.  I saw her in early March and was a mess.  It was like a bad zombie movie.  I cried all the way home. 

She's doing much better now, took 7 steps yesterday and talked my ear off.  She's amazing which is why I've always loved her, a fighter. 

Why I'm posting is that when it looked the bleakest one of her three daughters said to pull the plug.  Made me sick the hear that.  #### man, it was hard.  Of course she said #### you and came back for more. Yesterday she asked me to be the executor of her estate.  This was in front of her daughter and I've been in communication with her other daughter that didn't want to kill her for money the whole time.  My friend asked me to think about it and let all of them know.

So, I would do anything in the world for my friend but this seems like a really bad situation to get in to.  So....

It is a bad situation to get in. You will undoubtedly get pulled into litigation.  Repeatedly. So it’s definitely a test of whether you’d do anything in the world for her. 

But if you would, I say do it. It’s literally the last act of friendship anyone will ever do for her - make sure her wishes are carried out.  

Also, encourage her to split everything evenly.  No matter how things are.  It’s always better in the long run in my opinion. 

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Also, if she does split it evenly, after it’s over pull the good one aside and tell her there’s a reason.  That your friend knows someday those kids will only have each other.  And life is long. And people change.  And there is only one chance they ever become truly close again and it’s this.  That it’s not her job to fix things between them, but it is possible someday that they can fix this.  And their mother doesn’t want them to be alone some day if there is anything she can do to facilitate.  And this is the one thing she can do. 

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2 minutes ago, proninja said:

You're going to go against the wishes of your dying friend? Bull####. You're not that kind of guy. 

I mean, it's a terrible situation to get into, but it's your dying friend. So please keep us updated on how it goes. 

Yep. Damn it. I think there's a better way though. Believe me, it's killing me. 

She started as a client (they all start as a client lol) but we became fast friends.  I owe much of my career to her.

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2 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

Also, if she does split it evenly, after it’s over pull the good one aside and tell her there’s a reason.  That your friend knows someday those kids will only have each other.  And life is long. And people change.  And there is only one chance they ever become truly close again and it’s this.  That it’s not her job to fix things between them, but it is possible someday that they can fix this.  And their mother doesn’t want them to be alone some day if there is anything she can do to facilitate.  And this is the one thing she can do. 

Great stuff. 

I was even thinking of getting all of the duaugheters together, with their mother, and signing something to honor the will?  Now I know the will lawfully needs to be enforced but maybe an extra commitment, something fresh, might alleviate any arguments?  I don't know

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7 hours ago, St. Louis Bob said:

Great stuff. 

I was even thinking of getting all of the duaugheters together, with their mother, and signing something to honor the will?  Now I know the will lawfully needs to be enforced but maybe an extra commitment, something fresh, might alleviate any arguments?  I don't know

Essentially meaningless. “Your honor, at the time she didn’t realize she was agreeing to provide the entire estate to the dachshund, Mr. Bigglesworth.”

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9 hours ago, Binky The Doormat said:

Mark‏ @NoticablyBacon 5h5 hours ago

First of all I dont "cry like a baby" ok I cry on my lunch breaks in my car like an adult

Reminds me of a comic who said he called his car the "Pus$y Wagon" because that's where he went to cry.

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12 hours ago, Henry Ford said:

Also, if she does split it evenly, after it’s over pull the good one aside and tell her there’s a reason.  That your friend knows someday those kids will only have each other.  And life is long. And people change.  And there is only one chance they ever become truly close again and it’s this.  That it’s not her job to fix things between them, but it is possible someday that they can fix this.  And their mother doesn’t want them to be alone some day if there is anything she can do to facilitate.  And this is the one thing she can do. 

I don't do tons of wills, but about half the people I do wills for ask me to "draw it up so that no one can ever challenge it."  I tell them that's impossible, BUT two huge things they can do to prevent a challenge are: (1) give each kid an equal share, and (b) share the will with the kids today, so everyone has seen it and knows the deal.

Will contests are the worst.  I did one and would never take on another.  Worse than divorce - after it's over they're still related.

Edited by Thorn
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14 hours ago, St. Louis Bob said:

Curious though for some opinions on the following situation. I have a good friend that is 74 and got sick in early February.  We've been close friends for 26 years.  Had a heart attack, died 3 times.  I saw her in early March and was a mess.  It was like a bad zombie movie.  I cried all the way home. 

She's doing much better now, took 7 steps yesterday and talked my ear off.  She's amazing which is why I've always loved her, a fighter. 

Why I'm posting is that when it looked the bleakest one of her three daughters said to pull the plug.  Made me sick the hear that.  #### man, it was hard.  Of course she said #### you and came back for more. Yesterday she asked me to be the executor of her estate.  This was in front of her daughter and I've been in communication with her other daughter that didn't want to kill her for money the whole time.  My friend asked me to think about it and let all of them know.

So, I would do anything in the world for my friend but this seems like a really bad situation to get in to.  So....

Two things going on here. Your friend's end of life and the estate. I got a hospice order for my dad today. He's 92, legally blind, has pulmonary fibrosis and they have discover a tumor on his kidney 

It has been a tortuous time of decisions. I read this article How Doctor's Die that really helped me deal with this.

Are we sure the daughter advocating to pull the plug, assuming she said it for money may be extremely wrong and hurtful. She may have discussed this with her mom and know that she is just buying more time if agony and pain. Or she may be a greedy Butch.  People often choose the pull the plug when they are healthy and rational, but often they or the family get buyers remorse, usually because they want to be strong and fight and that is often because of societal expectations, rather than what is the best thing for them.

Your friend's needs an advanced directive in place so the decision at the time, is the one they have decided at a time when they are rational and have perspective. Everyone here also needs to have that discussion with their parents. Now.

As far as being executor, tell her you'll do it if she splits it evenly between the kids.

Edited by cosjobs
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@St. Louis Bob that's a rough decision, but i think you honor your friends wishes.  have you seen the will?  it might be nice to see what she intends to do before jumping into the fray.  

 

my FIL wants me to be the executor of his will, due the f'd up nature of 2 of his kids.  i told him, thank you, but there's no way in hell i am getting involved.

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This guy's funeral I went to on Sat. He was worth $150-200 million. He has a wife, three ex wives three kids from two moms, three Bros and two sisters and a mother he left behind.

The hearing is next week on the will, it's going to be a melee

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My brother and I get along well so if my parents are clear on how to split the money I don’t foresee any issues between us.  My uncle (mom’s brother) is a moocher and a pain in the neck.  I can see him trying to get something even though my dad was the primary money maker.  My parents are still alive so hopefully it won’t be something to worry about for a long time but I can definitely see my uncle suing at that time 

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7 hours ago, Henry Ford said:

Essentially meaningless. “Your honor, at the time she didn’t realize she was agreeing to provide the entire estate to the dachshund, Mr. Bigglesworth.”

Mr. Bigglesworth is a cat’s name, dummy.

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When my in-laws die it is going to be a mess.  They have 2 kids and named my wife as the executor of their will.  My wife's brother makes Charlie Sheen look responsible so they have decided to put his inheritance into a trust.  Its a good idea but they refuse to tell him about the arrangement.  My wife wont tell him because it's been 5+ years since she's spoken with him.  The next time they speak very well may be at the funeral.   This has :tfp: written all over it

 

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I watched what my cousins did after my aunt and uncle died, and I told my parents to give whatever they have to my sister. I don't need any part of any of that. 

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@urbanhack

Its still too cool to swim, so I decided to take up golf to try and get a little fresh air and exercise this summer. I played a few games in high school and a couple times in college and that's it. Been at least 35 years.

I took a lesson last week and have another tomorrow. I don't care about being very good, I just don't want look like an idiot and slow everyone else down.

I really think I would enjoy this sport (sic) more if I were stoned. Is it like college where if you go to class stoned, you're okay as long as you take the exam stoned? 

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1 minute ago, cosjobs said:

@urbanhack

Its still too cool to swim, so I decided to take up golf to try and get a little fresh air and exercise this summer. I played a few games in high school and a couple times in college and that's it. Been at least 35 years.

I took a lesson last week and have another tomorrow. I don't care about being very good, I just don't want look like an idiot and slow everyone else down.

I really think I would enjoy this sport (sic) more if I were stoned. Is it like college where if you go to class stoned, you're okay as long as you take the exam stoned? 

golf is a drinking sport

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57 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

@urbanhack

Its still too cool to swim, so I decided to take up golf to try and get a little fresh air and exercise this summer. I played a few games in high school and a couple times in college and that's it. Been at least 35 years.

I took a lesson last week and have another tomorrow. I don't care about being very good, I just don't want look like an idiot and slow everyone else down.

I really think I would enjoy this sport (sic) more if I were stoned. Is it like college where if you go to class stoned, you're okay as long as you take the exam stoned? 

If you want minimal activity outdoors mixed with weed, I've heard frolf is where it's at.

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2 minutes ago, Ignoramus said:

If you want minimal activity outdoors mixed with weed, I've heard frolf is where it's at.

I failed the big hippie exam in the 70s because I hate Frisbee and the Grateful Dead

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22 hours ago, Thorn said:

I don't do tons of wills, but about half the people I do wills for ask me to "draw it up so that no one can ever challenge it."  I tell them that's impossible, BUT two huge things they can do to prevent a challenge are: (1) give each kid an equal share, and (b) share the will with the kids today, so everyone has seen it and knows the deal.

Will contests are the worst.  I did one and would never take on another.  Worse than divorce - after it's over they're still related.

Question your Honor.......... My wife and I don't have a Will yet. Can I do this myself, or should I go to a Lawyer? I mean everything will go to our daughter, but everyone is telling me I still need a Will, so I guess i should do this.

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6 minutes ago, Mr.Pack said:

Question your Honor.......... My wife and I don't have a Will yet. Can I do this myself, or should I go to a Lawyer? I mean everything will go to our daughter, but everyone is telling me I still need a Will, so I guess i should do this.

My test for "do you need a will" is, if the answer to any of these is yes, you need one:

Would you like something different to happen to your assets than what the intestacy (no will) laws say?

Do you have any minor children, or adult children that cannot handle finances?

Do you have anyone with special needs you want to leave something to?

Do you want to do any charitable giving?

Of course that's a really rough guide, and based on my understanding of my state law.

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14 minutes ago, Jackstraw said:

Then there's nothing we could do for you. Did you make your way to the Steely Dan crowd? 

I was just there for the sex and drugs, you can keep the Dead and the Frisbees

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3 minutes ago, Epic Problem said:

omg me too! 

So seriously, I have played maybe 10 rounds in my life and none in 35 years. Would I be stupid to take this morning's lesson stoned? Or could it help me mellow out and get in a groove. I intend to play stoned in the future.

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