Peak
Footballguy
Reading through the FFA this week has got me thinking, when do you know when your marriage is over? Is there something that just clicked? Is it you, or is it your s/o? Should you try to make it last, or do you just let it go?
My wife and I aren't in a good place. Haven't been for at least three years. No physical relationship at all (no hugs, hand-holding, or sitting next to each other on the couch - obviously nothing above any of these either). We talk about it, but nothing seems to change. I know she's depressed and upset with herself. She won't seek treatment, or talk to anyone about it outside of her sisters. She has a very short fuse and takes it out on me and the kids. I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's no use.
I thought I was handling it well, but it's really getting to me now. I'm even lashing out at people over little things. I didn't recognize it at first, but after reading the "Anger" thread, I realized I'm doing it out of depression. I'm not happy with what's going on at all. But I don't want to leave. I loved our relationship and how we were together before all of this changed. We've been married for 13 (known each other for 18), and it's only been since 2010 or so when this started happening.
We had another fight a week ago which ended with her saying it's not working for her and she's done. I don't turn my back on my family and I won't leave. I told her that we need to figure out what the problem is and fix it. I offered up going to counseling, but she's against it. Instead we sit in separate rooms and avoid each other once the kids go to bed. In front of the kids or in public, we act "normal". In private, we don't talk or notice each other. In a way, I guess it is over.
Regardless, I'm at my wits end. I have tried to make her happy, or be that loving supportive husband and father. Instead, she views me as the idiot who doesn't think and can't do things right. Everyday I think things will get better. But if we don't try, nothing will change. Following my latest outburst with our kids, I think I'm going to see a therapist. I need to talk to someone about this and hopefully figure something out. She's my best friend and confidant, but now it's like I don't know who she is anymore. She's not the same person I married, that I know.
So...is it over and I'm just in denial? I feel like there's something worth fighting for, but if refuses to get help or even try, will anything even change?
My wife and I aren't in a good place. Haven't been for at least three years. No physical relationship at all (no hugs, hand-holding, or sitting next to each other on the couch - obviously nothing above any of these either). We talk about it, but nothing seems to change. I know she's depressed and upset with herself. She won't seek treatment, or talk to anyone about it outside of her sisters. She has a very short fuse and takes it out on me and the kids. I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's no use.
I thought I was handling it well, but it's really getting to me now. I'm even lashing out at people over little things. I didn't recognize it at first, but after reading the "Anger" thread, I realized I'm doing it out of depression. I'm not happy with what's going on at all. But I don't want to leave. I loved our relationship and how we were together before all of this changed. We've been married for 13 (known each other for 18), and it's only been since 2010 or so when this started happening.
We had another fight a week ago which ended with her saying it's not working for her and she's done. I don't turn my back on my family and I won't leave. I told her that we need to figure out what the problem is and fix it. I offered up going to counseling, but she's against it. Instead we sit in separate rooms and avoid each other once the kids go to bed. In front of the kids or in public, we act "normal". In private, we don't talk or notice each other. In a way, I guess it is over.
Regardless, I'm at my wits end. I have tried to make her happy, or be that loving supportive husband and father. Instead, she views me as the idiot who doesn't think and can't do things right. Everyday I think things will get better. But if we don't try, nothing will change. Following my latest outburst with our kids, I think I'm going to see a therapist. I need to talk to someone about this and hopefully figure something out. She's my best friend and confidant, but now it's like I don't know who she is anymore. She's not the same person I married, that I know.
So...is it over and I'm just in denial? I feel like there's something worth fighting for, but if refuses to get help or even try, will anything even change?