Telling Your Kids Santa Is Real (1 Viewer)

[Dr. Octopus]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

 

[snellman]

I honestly don’t remember what we told our kids and when nor do I remember when they found out and how. I do look forward to the day I have grandkids and start the tradition all over. It’s magical for kids.

Grandkids are so much fun with the Christmas magic. As my kids were getting older, the grind of Christmas was starting to wear on me with the wife's traditions of making sure they had presents instead of money, Equal number of presents, etc. Then the grandkids came along and it was like we were young all over again. Buying a bunch of toys for little people is so much more fun than trying to figure out what your teenagers or adult children want that isn't $$$$$.

Man I can’t wait for that. Im currently suffering with the “equal # & $” gifts edict from my wife for our adult kids (no grandkids yet). Don’t get me wrong, I love getting things for them, but buying stuff just to fill out under the tree and make things “equal” is maddening. She’s “one more thinged” it several times on each side already with stuff they won’t want/need just to fill/even it out

We ask our kids what they want for Christmas and some of them don't get it. Our budget this year was $50 per kid (we have 5 and 3 of them have spouses so it adds up) and a couple of them are sending us ideas that are $200 +. Could we afford to spend that if we wanted yes, but we raised the budget on the grandkids because they are more fun to shop for. One of the kids gifts ended up being $20 more than the others so of course she had to go out and get Visa cards so they matched. Don't even get me started on the $$$ she spends on useless stocking stuffers because it is "tradition".

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

I never "told" my daughter Santa was real or wasn't real. She never directly asked.

If she had ever directly asked, I would have told her the truth.

She's 13 now and knows Santa isn't real. I'm not sure how that evolved for her, and basically it's so far down the list of what's important in her life now I don't really care.

 

[sho nuff]

Well…when you put it that way…

 

[SWC]

brohans this is going to sound mean but honestly what kind of person takes an active step to take away a 2 or 3 year olds innocence and wonder i just dont get it and i havent heard one defense of it that even approaches rational so far in here take that to the bank brochachos

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I prefer this origin story

 

[Ilov80s]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

 

[ChiefD]

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

Ok listen man. You are just crossing a line now. My kids read these boards sometimes. Now I have to explain THIS ONE!!!!

 

[Chris B.]

I'm a glory hog, so I want credit for all the gifts I give my toddler. Santa is as real as Rudolph, talking penguins and dancing snowmen at this point.

 

[Courtjester]

We did Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and our kids loved it. They actually believed for so long, we had to just break it to them before they got later on in middle school.

This has completely backfired on us because our now 24 and 19 year old daughters still EXPECT a Santa gift on top of their regular lists they give us. I, of course, always oblige. much to my wife's protesting.

 

[Peggy]

Cancel the Disney trips too, all those characters are fake, it's all just one big lie!

 

[Peggy]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

Prosocial lying.

Consider a meteor is heading towards earth and we are all doomed in a matter of days if not hours. 100% certainty. People are acting chaotic, schools close, people start gathering at religious centers. You prefer to spend the last few days at home with your family. You have the opportunity to play some games, read some children's books, whatever they like to do. But, the kids are just old enough to figure out something isn't just right so they ask you what is going on, is everything alright? What do you say?

 

[IrishTwinkie]

I think I've told this story here before. We had fun with the kids and the magic of Santa. Special paper, special tags, lettering the whole bit. Time took its course and the kids all started to figure it out. Certainly didn't lie to them when they came to us. Just pulled them into the other side of the magic for their younger siblings. I am thinking the other camp must hate make-believe games. "Look kids, it really ISN'T a pirate ship, it's just the couch cushions.". "No, that isn't really money and you aren't selling your toys to me". I just don't get it. Make believe. Cold hard reality is a massive downer.

My mom got us Elf on the Shelf and at first I rolled my eyes. Then it became fun. The older kids got into it as well. My youngest was holding out on letting us know she didn't believe. We were pretty sure she knew, but she wasn't going to spoiled a good thing... One year we decided to call the bluff. The Elf went into the bottom of the stocking... The look on her face when she realized what she pulled out was PRICELESS. We all busted a gut laughing over it. I am sure she thought everything was done. The kids are all out of the house now. We still look back at that and laugh. Heck it is now a contest to see who can find the elf. We keep score. It is cut throat. Heh. Getting tougher now that the kids don't all get back all that much.

Santa is harmless. There are so many real world things to worry about. A little parent assisted magic isn't going to kill anyone. (And somehow, they are great kids and still trust us.)

ETA: The youngest two are home now. Just got done eating.... no lie, I wouldn't do that to you... the middle one saw the Elf and was pumped! One point for him. I reminded the youngest about the stocking an we all laughed. I'll take decades of fond memories every time and twice on Christmas.

 

[Ilov80s]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

Prosocial lying.

Consider a meteor is heading towards earth and we are all doomed in a matter of days if not hours. 100% certainty. People are acting chaotic, schools close, people start gathering at religious centers. You prefer to spend the last few days at home with your family. You have the opportunity to play some games, read some children's books, whatever they like to do. But, the kids are just old enough to figure out something isn't just right so they ask you what is going on, is everything alright? What do you say?

Absolutely the truth in the best way they are old enough to understand and in a way that wasn’t panicked or scared but no I wouldn’t let my kids die without helping them prepare in whatever way they can. I would try my best to help them also come to terms with it.

 

[Peggy]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

Prosocial lying.

Consider a meteor is heading towards earth and we are all doomed in a matter of days if not hours. 100% certainty. People are acting chaotic, schools close, people start gathering at religious centers. You prefer to spend the last few days at home with your family. You have the opportunity to play some games, read some children's books, whatever they like to do. But, the kids are just old enough to figure out something isn't just right so they ask you what is going on, is everything alright? What do you say?

Absolutely the truth in the best way they are old enough to understand and in a way that wasn’t panicked or scared but no I wouldn’t let my kids die without helping them prepare in whatever way they can. I would try my best to help them also come to terms with it.

Let’s hear it. I have to see how this conversation goes with a 6 year old that a meteor is about it hit earth and their life is about to end. No more mom, dad or sister. Then how they sit there watching the clock, or worse the TV for the final hours of their life.

Im saying everything is awesome, we’re going to have a homecation. Whoever beats me at shoots and ladders gets a giant piece of pie. We’re going to stay up all night watch movies together eating whatever we want! That’s just me though.

 

[Peggy]

There is disagreement likely whether having a positive attitude can affect the outcome of illness. But, there shouldnt be an argument that a positive attitude improves the quality of life for people with terminal illness. It's perfectly ok to not tell a 6 year old with terminal cancer their dire prognosis. Or not warn then about their pending doom from a meteor. A 6 year old isnt developed enough in most cases to process the concept of death and dying. They likely haven't gone through the learning lesson of burying the hamster yet let alone seen loved ones die or pondered their own mortality.Both of these examples are examples of prosocial lying. Where the lie is for a good/better outcome.

The old adage of always telling the truth is antiquated. It's not reality and how humans interact with each other. When your wife asks you if her dress makes her look fat you lie and tell her no. Shes not looking for the truth, shes looking for positive reinforcement of how she looks. When a stranger asks you about your day in passing you say good and you? no matter how bad of a day you are having. They arent looking for the truth, they were being polite.

Santa for the most part is prosocial lying. Letting young minds explore the land of makebelieve. That's important for them just as later figuring out the difference between makebelieve and reality is. Sesame Street made a living at it.

 

[BassNBrew]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it

IMO this is the same as lying. The truth would be to say that 4 out 5 times you're going to end up worm food or fried to crisp shortly. Intentional ignoring facts and share a false viewpoint is lying regardless of how much you want to believe it.

Not directed at luv80's tell truth when asked, but the tell the truth in advance folks...While you non-Santa people are telling your two year daughter that he doesn't exist, it might be a good time to tell her that it's a coin flip that she will experience sexual violence but the good news is that it's only one in four chance she will have someone attempt to rape her. Of course in the name of being truthful, let her know that if she is raped, odds are it will happen before 18 while she a minor under your authority.

 

[TheAristocrat]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

 

[Ilov80s]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it

IMO this is the same as lying. The truth would be to say that 4 out 5 times you're going to end up worm food or fried to crisp shortly. Intentional ignoring facts and share a false viewpoint is lying regardless of how much you want to believe it.

Not directed at luv80's tell truth when asked, but the tell the truth in advance folks...While you non-Santa people are telling your two year daughter that he doesn't exist, it might be a good time to tell her that it's a coin flip that she will experience sexual violence but the good news is that it's only one in four chance she will have someone attempt to rape her. Of course in the name of being truthful, let her know that if she is raped, odds are it will happen before 18 while she a minor under your authority.

This needs its own thread because at this point it’s not even about Santa but the definition of a lie. If I know someone has a chance to survive and I tell them I think they can make it then it’s not a lie because I am telling them something that is true- they do have a chance to survive. I am an optimist generally so if someone I knew was sick, I would believe they were going to beat it. It wouldn’t be a lie, it would be what I believe.

As for the rape thing, that’s absolutely an insane take but yes at a very young age I am teaching them about what kind of touching is ok or not and that they should tell us if something happens that feels uncomfortable and sharing more details as they become older and more capable of understanding.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

For real.

Even though I don't quite get where he's coming from on this particular issue, 80s is a good guy and one of the more thoughtful posters on this board.

We all draw our lines in the sand at different places.

 

[Ilov80s]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

For real.

Even though I don't quite get where he's coming from on this particular issue, 80s is a good guy and one of the more thoughtful posters on this board.

We all draw our lines in the sand at different places.

I am not the one bringing up sexual assault. I will leave but I think my thoughts were generally in line with the topic and it was other people who took them literally to the end of the world.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

For real.

Even though I don't quite get where he's coming from on this particular issue, 80s is a good guy and one of the more thoughtful posters on this board.

We all draw our lines in the sand at different places.

I am not the one bringing up the idea of telling 2 year olds about sexually assaulted as 2 year olds. I will leave but I think my thoughts were generally in line with the topic and it was other people who took them literally the end of the world.

No, I was just talking about your Santa take - not the crazy tangents that got brought up.

 

[Ilov80s]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

For real.

Even though I don't quite get where he's coming from on this particular issue, 80s is a good guy and one of the more thoughtful posters on this board.

We all draw our lines in the sand at different places.

I am not the one bringing up the idea of telling 2 year olds about sexually assaulted as 2 year olds. I will leave but I think my thoughts were generally in line with the topic and it was other people who took them literally the end of the world.

No, I was just talking about your Santa take - not the crazy tangents that got brought up.

Yeah, I get I am a huge outlier on my Santa take but I thought it fit with the idea of the thread. I didn't mean to lead to such a derailment.

 

[AAABatteries]

Well, the rails are way over there and somehow the discussion is way over here.

For real.

Even though I don't quite get where he's coming from on this particular issue, 80s is a good guy and one of the more thoughtful posters on this board.

We all draw our lines in the sand at different places.

I am not the one bringing up the idea of telling 2 year olds about sexually assaulted as 2 year olds. I will leave but I think my thoughts were generally in line with the topic and it was other people who took them literally the end of the world.

No, I was just talking about your Santa take - not the crazy tangents that got brought up.

Yeah, I get I am a huge outlier on my Santa take but I thought it fit with the idea of the thread. I didn't mean to lead to such a derailment.

I don’t think you did, GB

 

[AAABatteries]

We did Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and our kids loved it.

Man, the Tooth Fairy became such a racket - we were shelling out like $5 a tooth near the end - maybe even $10. I can remember when my nieces started losing teeth I think $10 or $20 was what they did. I wanted to knock my own teeth out.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

we were shelling out like $5 a tooth near the end - maybe even $10

 

[parasaurolophus]

Yeah, I get I am a huge outlier on my Santa take but I thought it fit with the idea of the thread. I didn't mean to lead to such a derailment

I never realized how much fun the whole santa thing would be for me until I had kids.

The first writing my daughter ever did was a letter to santa. We wrote the words for her and she copied them because she barely knew the alphanet. Then we had her write a thank you letter. We bake special cookies together for him, each year getting more detailed and fancy. I have encased some of the cookies in epoxy to eventually use as xmas coasters, once she knows santa is fake. Our new house doesnt have a fireplace so we are building a fake chimney together. We even grew a pot of grass this year for the reindeer to eat, since we dont have ferns, moss, or lichen like we used to have all over our property.

I dont see how my daughter doesnt end up with fond memories of the whole thing and obviously I will too. And the best part is I have used it as a teaching moment over and over.

 

[BassNBrew]

I like the logic of:

I dont want to lie to my kids so I’ll rob them of the magic of Christmas and instead teach them to lie to all their friends and classmates.

Lying isn’t the same as withholding info. I wouldn’t want my kids ruining it for other kids and I didn’t ever ruin it for my nieces or nephews because it’s not my kids and not my place. I just let them believe and stayed out of it. Again, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s awesome and I for sure would want to bring my kids joy. Maybe I’m totally wrong but I don’t think the Santa thing is the only way kids could experience joy during the holidays. But I’m also not criticizing anyone that is 100% into Santa and has awesome memories of it as a kid and as a parent. That’s totally cool and tons of respect for that. It’s just not what I would do. Not sure why some people seem agitated by my choice and teasing. If you want I’ll take back that it’s a lie and say it’s something we tell people that we know isn’t true but we do it for fun and joy. I hope that’s less offensive because I genuinely like everyone in this thread.

It's not offensive - but I just don't believe that a smart guy like you doesn't get that calling something a "lie" has a negative connotation that doesn't belong in a conversation about letting your kids believe in Santa - or why you would pick this particular "fairy tale" to take that stance on. If you don't think that there would be plenty of instances where you "lied" to your children otherwise (if you had any) you're fooling yourself. Many examples have already been posted in this thread. Literally sure it's a lie - but intelligent people realize there's a broad scale of what consists of lying and wouldn't apply it to a charming tradition that makes people feel a little better.

Actually now that I think about it, it is a little offensive that someone tries to take the moral high ground ("I would NEVER lie to my children") over something that's not only a harmless "lie" but one that is one of the few magical things left for kids in this world.

With that said, I still like you very much as well - I just think your misguided here and perhaps trolling a bit.

I don't see how I took the moral high ground. I just would choose not to do it. I remember feeling not good about it once I found out. It's just how I felt, I was young and felt deceived. It wasn't traumatic or anything but I can't help how I felt. I don't think most of the things posted were actually examples of lies. If my kids asked if their grandparents were going to die someday, I would say yes and talk about it. If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it Withholding my opinion that my kid was unathletic isn't telling a lie. It's just choosing not to give my opinion. Also, I recognize a white lie and I recognize that everyone doing the Santa thing is doing it for good reasons and it's a really happy part of so many childhoods. I fully recognize I am the one with the minority feelings about it. I would make the same stance on the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. As for most fairy tales, I don't think we people generally pretend the little piggies or jack in the beanstalk are real.

And am I trolling- not really but I am sort of kidding which I've said over and over. It's kind of a funny thing when you think about it. We create this mass delusion for kids and everyone is in on it. It's just funny.

So those of you that don't lie to your kids are probably also 100% ok with sex education starting in Kindergarten right?

I mean kids do want to know where babies come from, after all, and we can't lie to them (or even lie by omission).

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

If someone had had a 20% chance to live and I said "I believe you can fight this and make it" it would be because I actually do believe they have a 20% chance and can make it

IMO this is the same as lying. The truth would be to say that 4 out 5 times you're going to end up worm food or fried to crisp shortly. Intentional ignoring facts and share a false viewpoint is lying regardless of how much you want to believe it.

Not directed at luv80's tell truth when asked, but the tell the truth in advance folks...While you non-Santa people are telling your two year daughter that he doesn't exist, it might be a good time to tell her that it's a coin flip that she will experience sexual violence but the good news is that it's only one in four chance she will have someone attempt to rape her. Of course in the name of being truthful, let her know that if she is raped, odds are it will happen before 18 while she a minor under your authority.

This needs its own thread because at this point it’s not even about Santa but the definition of a lie. If I know someone has a chance to survive and I tell them I think they can make it then it’s not a lie because I am telling them something that is true- they do have a chance to survive. I am an optimist generally so if someone I knew was sick, I would believe they were going to beat it. It wouldn’t be a lie, it would be what I believe.

As for the rape thing, that’s absolutely an insane take but yes at a very young age I am teaching them about what kind of touching is ok or not and that they should tell us if something happens that feels uncomfortable and sharing more details as they become older and more capable of understanding.

Yes, that could be in an interesting thread.

Apologies if I derailed the thread. Someone earlier mentioned they weren't going to lie to their kid about Santa. Many don't see that that as a lie. If Santa is symbolic of the Christmas spirit and giving to others then Santa can be real.

 

[BassNBrew]

Yeah, I get I am a huge outlier on my Santa take but I thought it fit with the idea of the thread. I didn't mean to lead to such a derailment

I never realized how much fun the whole santa thing would be for me until I had kids.

The first writing my daughter ever did was a letter to santa. We wrote the words for her and she copied them because she barely knew the alphanet. Then we had her write a thank you letter. We bake special cookies together for him, each year getting more detailed and fancy. I have encased some of the cookies in epoxy to eventually use as xmas coasters, once she knows santa is fake. Our new house doesnt have a fireplace so we are building a fake chimney together. We even grew a pot of grass this year for the reindeer to eat, since we dont have ferns, moss, or lichen like we used to have all over our property.

I dont see how my daughter doesnt end up with fond memories of the whole thing and obviously I will too. And the best part is I have used it as a teaching moment over and over.

I had to read this 3 times for it to click how you meant it.

 

[pollardsvision]

I woudn't have told my kids about Santa. That was the plan and I was pretty strong on that stance. Back when having kids was still an option, that was one of the biggest disagreements my wife and I ever had.

Of course, it never happened, and I certainly can't say what I'd have done.

But I definitely get not wanting to.

No reason to get into it. Looks like @Ilov80s has done that, taken the blows, and handled it thoughtfully and respectfully, as usual.

 

[belljr]

I woudn't have told my kids about Santa. That was the plan and I was pretty strong on that stance. Back when having kids was still an option, that was one of the biggest disagreements my wife and I ever had.

Of course, it never happened, and I certainly can't say what I'd have done.

But I definitely get not wanting to.

No reason to get into it. Looks like @Ilov80s has done that, taken the blows, and handled it thoughtfully and respectfully, as usual.

No disrespect to anyone here ..... It would be an interesting "study" of those without kids saying they wouldn't have done the Santa thing, that after kids did do it for whatever reason... spouse/change of heart etc

Wonder how much the % would change if at all

 

[Todem]

My older daughter was around 7-8 when she told me some kids at school said there is no Santa, then asked me point blank.

I said "honey, there is a Santa..your Santa is your mom and me" Then I told he not to tell her sister, to let her find her own way on this topic. At first I thought she as going to cry, then she just hugged me. Next year her sister found out but faked it for awhile.

Exactly. Let them discover it on their own. Until they do let them experience magic and wonder because like I said before....in the blink of an eye they will become a cynical adult.

Let them be a kid.

 

[Zow]

Our plan is to just let them figure it out. While our three current 8 year olds are 100% bought in that Santa is real, our 6 year old (who is by far the most socially smart/people savvy) has been asking some really good question (to which I usually respond by asking her what she thinks and why - basically deflecting the question because I don't want to outright lie) and wans to set up a video camera to catch either the Elf or Santa.

The one thing my wife and I won't do though is get the kids any big gifts from Santa. We do this for two reasons (one selfish and one benevolent): 1) We want the credit; and 2) We don't want our kids going to school and reporting that they got some nice/expensive gift from Santa when their classmates whose parents may not be able to afford the same are then left wondering why Santa likes them less or some such because they didn't get similar nice gifts

 

[ChiefD]

We do this for two reasons (one selfish and one benevolent): 1) We want the credit

This actually made me laugh out loud.







And your other reason was wonderful by the way.

 

[snellman]

The one thing my wife and I won't do though is get the kids any big gifts from Santa. We do this for two reasons (one selfish and one benevolent): 1) We want the credit; and 2) We don't want our kids going to school and reporting that they got some nice/expensive gift from Santa when their classmates whose parents may not be able to afford the same are then left wondering why Santa likes them less or some such because they didn't get similar nice gifts

We did the same thing when the kids believed in Santa. The smaller gifts came from Santa, while the large more $$ ones came from Mom and Dad.

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I and everyone I grew up with had parents flat lie to them about Santa. And I 100% believe that we are better for it. Fantastic memories for all of us and I’m sure our parents too and that carried over to us lying to our children and making more fantastic times and memories

 

[NutterButter]

2) We don't want our kids going to school and reporting that they got some nice/expensive gift from Santa when their classmates whose parents may not be able to afford the same are then left wondering why Santa likes them less or some such because they didn't get similar nice gifts

You can also do what we did and send your kids to a fancy private school so you won't have any money left to buy your kids big gifts.

 

[jvdesigns2002]

I don’t have kids so please take that into account. With that said, I don’t think I’d tell any kids that I have that Santa is not real—and would instead let them figure it out on their own through the natural growing process. As I’ve aged—I‘ve personally found that some of the “magic” of the world has eroded away. This is not all bad—as perhaps some of that “magic” that I felt as a child is replaced by more and more life experiences, memories and knowledge. With that said, I‘m not sure that I’d want to take a wrecking ball to the “magic of the world” that a child can feel as a parent. Part of growth is understanding and learning on your own that things aren’t as they seem, and that belief in something can be both magical and powerful.

I remember—when I was a child—I thought that Disneyland was a beautiful and magical place. Lots of people just having fun, going on rides that were both fun and beautiful, As I grew older, my take on it changed. Instead of being this “magical place”—I associated it with being a very expensive, hassle of a place to go with long lines. With that said—I’m still very happy and grateful that I was able to enjoy it as a fun and magical place as a child, and didn’t have parents that ruined the magic for me. Even though Christmas certainly feels very corporate, profit and consumption motivated as an adult—I still am thankful and fond of the memories that I have as a child about the magic of Santa Claus. Let the kids enjoy some magic in my opinion. It‘s part of the learning curve of life and growth.

 

[Capella]

I’ll let my kids believe as long as they want and I will fully play a part in that. There is so little purity in the world that I can’t even imagine my little boys not believing in santa until the proper age. My 6 year old is over the moon thinking about Santa coming this weekend. That’s such a small portion of his life and our life as parents - why take that away?

 

[AAABatteries]

2) We don't want our kids going to school and reporting that they got some nice/expensive gift from Santa when their classmates whose parents may not be able to afford the same are then left wondering why Santa likes them less or some such because they didn't get similar nice gifts

This is a very interesting take and not something I’ve ever thought about. Granted, my kids are all well past the Santa years but we did do some unwrapped Santa gifts for each kid - don’t remember if it was their “big” gift or not but this is definitely something to consider.

 

[Courtjester]

I and everyone I grew up with had parents flat lie to them about Santa. And I 100% believe that we are better for it. Fantastic memories for all of us and I’m sure our parents too and that carried over to us lying to our children and making more fantastic times and memories

Some of the Christmas Eve nights were so memorable with getting the Santa toys ready for the kids. One time we bought one of those big Power Wheel Barbie Jeeps and the box wouldn't fit in the car. One of my friends with a truck helped me get it in the house and him and I (with a lot of beer involved) assembled it. It didn't work right away and we had to kind of modify some things, but eventually got it running. On Christmas morning, our six year old daughter promptly drove the thing into the Christmas tree and took it out.

Another year, we decided to get one of those indoor inflatable ball pits. For some odd reason (beer was also involved in this reasoning) I had this idea I could inflate this monster by just blowing in it. I quickly realized that was not realistic without causing an embolism, so I took it outside and used the air pump that plugged into the cigarette lighter of the car--you know the type you take camping to inflate air mattresses. Again, not a very well thought out plan because it is now TOO inflated to get back through the garage door into the house. It is now midnight and my wife and I are carrying this thing up the deck steps to take it in the sliding doors, I think we ended up snagging it on a nail and had to use duct tape to patch that hole.

Good times--good times.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Man, the Tooth Fairy became such a racket - we were shelling out like $5 a tooth near the end - maybe even $10. I can remember when my nieces started losing teeth I think $10 or $20 was what they did. I wanted to knock my own teeth out.

I know everybody's mad about mortgage rates, but the Fed had to step in and take action.

 

[odin33]

Firm believer in keeping the magic going as long as possible. I eeked out another year or two with the following:

Xmas eve we always go to inlaws and stay pretty late (which made lugging presents in from hiding spots a little tipsy interesting; especially the big wheel mentioned a few posts up). Anyway, oldest was 7 or 8 at the time and openly questioning Santa (thankfully not much around her younger sister).

So come Christmas Eve we sprinkle the reindeer food in the grass, and head off to inlaws with nothing under the tree as always. Had a neighbor come over while we were gone and put them all under the tree. Came home that evening to see everything under the tree. The oldest's jaw hit the floor.

One of our best Christmas memories.

 

[Gottabesweet]

Sorry if there's another thread. Post in GMs thread made me think.

What's the feeling on how you tell your kids about Santa?

What did you tell them?

When did you stop?

Other thoughts?

Oldest from a previous relationship is 12. (7th grade) I asked his mom this year if he still believed. She said he hasn’t for two years and didn’t want to make me mad. (She is terrible at communicating)

So we had the talk and now he’s loving his role being creative with the elf on shelf for his twin brother/sister who are 4. Tonight we went out shopping for them with his own money he wanted to get them something. Then we went out to eat. Starting a nice tradition.

 

[QuizGuy66]

Sorry if there's another thread. Post in GMs thread made me think.

What's the feeling on how you tell your kids about Santa?

What did you tell them?

When did you stop?

Other thoughts?

What are you trying to tell me @Joe Bryant


-QG

 

[Ilov80s]

At what age do you tell your kid even if they still believe? What is the longest you would let it go?

 

[snellman]

I remember as a kid growing up we always went to my Grandparent's house on my Dad's side on Christmas eve. Mom would always be late coming to the car and us kids wondered why the hell it took her so long when she was always the one who told us to get ready to go. After we quit going to their house on Christmas eve, dad would always see the flashing red light in the sky (also known as radio towers) and say it is Rudolph so lets go see if we can find Santa.

 

[BassNBrew]

At what age do you tell your kid even if they still believe? What is the longest you would let it go?

26, right when they get kicked off my insurance.

 

[Desert_Power]

If my young kids asked about where babies came from, I wouldn't tell them about storks. I would just say a man and woman can make a baby together and the mother carries it in her stomach. If they asked too many questions, I might tell them it's something they need to wait until they are older to understand. You can tell the truth without revealing the every gory detail. That isn't lying by omission.

Yeah. I don't really think about stories to make up as my son gets older. I would guess most people just repeat the storks or whatever they were told.