Dear Overpaid Analyst who got us heavily short the homebuilders and has single handedly cost us a performance fee for 3 straight years because my boss refuses to acknowledge you are a dildo who is only in good favor with him because you are friends with his son - When the markets are down and our short positions are actually working, what happens to your loud, sick, disgusting, obnoxious cough that sounds like you have Tuberculosis and has been treated by MD's for everything from Walking Pneumonia to Kennel Cough? How come you only break that bad boy out when the markets are setting new highs and your short positions are destroying any chance we might have of a solid return? Ever since September, when the markets are green and we're losing money hand over fist, you hack in dramatic fashion from 5:30am until you go home. People next to you cannot talk on the phone, hold conversations or concentrate without you interrupting them with your exaggerated, filthy, phlegm-filled cough that is further amplified by the fact that you are 6' 7" and, inexplicably, feel the need to STAND UP to have your coughing fits. You are spreading your spittle all over the place and are driving me and other coworkers insane. We IM all day long when you are coughing and talk about how we want to throw you out the window. You know why I flinch when you go in for a hi five? It's because your hand has been used as a handkerchief all day long. There have been days where I thought you were going to hack out your spleen.And yet on the rare day we are actually making money in your positions, you are cough free? Huh. Amazing. Instead of going to a new doctor every time he fails to diagnose your coal miner's lungs, how about you pony up a trip to the head doctor and learn what we already know: your disturbing hack is all mental and if you ever gave up the ghost and got us out of the home builders, perhaps you'd make a miraculous recovery. Oh, and in the cabinet under the sink is some Lysol. Please use it.TIAGM