Forum super lurker, occasional poster seeks feedback: Graduation Dinne (1 Viewer)

[shadyridr]

You said youre piece. She shouldve asked like that in the beginning instead of making up some bull#### custom. Who knows, she is still probably BSing you but I think you did the right thing.

 

[Zow]

Good move for your son. And good move divorcing the ex.

 

[Bodeine]

Thanks everyone for your input and sentiments for the kid's graduating.

One of life's odd ironies, the ex is just hard to deal with but between us, we produced a fantastic young man. The kid is awesome.

Can't wait until he's twenty one. The ball and chain to the ex legally gets cut. I'm getting smashed that night! LOL.

 

[Wooderson]

Thanks everyone for your input and sentiments for the kid's graduating.

One of life's odd ironies, the ex is just hard to deal with but between us, we produced a fantastic young man. The kid is awesome.

Can't wait until he's twenty one. The ball and chain to the ex legally gets cut. I'm getting smashed that night! LOL.

21? What happened to 18?

 

[shadyridr]

Thanks everyone for your input and sentiments for the kid's graduating.

One of life's odd ironies, the ex is just hard to deal with but between us, we produced a fantastic young man. The kid is awesome.

Can't wait until he's twenty one. The ball and chain to the ex legally gets cut. I'm getting smashed that night! LOL.

21? What happened to 18?

its custom for the man to continue supporting the ex wife until the child is 21 now.or at least that's what the ex told him.

 

[johnnycakes]

Thanks everyone for your input and sentiments for the kid's graduating.

One of life's odd ironies, the ex is just hard to deal with but between us, we produced a fantastic young man. The kid is awesome.

Can't wait until he's twenty one. The ball and chain to the ex legally gets cut. I'm getting smashed that night! LOL.

21? What happened to 18?

its custom for the man to continue supporting the ex wife until the child is 21 now.or at least that's what the ex told him.

In MA it goes to age 23 unless the kid is supporting his or her self before then. That's what my divorce attorney told me. Or something close to that, anyhow. I know if they stay in school to age 23 child support continues. I got that part of it.

 

[bierfiend]

So, the conclusion of the story: I texted the ex and advised that I was not in agreement with her suggestion and that I would be happy to split the bill with her.

She then responded that the money would be a struggle for her at this time as she has had a number of unexpected expenses most of which were related to her health as she had been suffering symptoms from something doctors have as yet been unable to diagnose.

Trying to find the highest road here, maintain the celebratory air of the occasion (being my child's graduation), I decided to not to bog the whole issue down into a fight over a couple of hundred dollars. I moved on from there and just agreed to cover the bill.

You're a good man for keeping it about your son and not letting it impact his celebration.

This is the right result I think. If she's been a manipulative nightmare all along, maybe less so, but either way I don't think you had much choice other than to do what you did. Well played sir.

I think this would have influenced my decision. It appears that she can be less than honest when trying to attain what she wants. While I would not want to deprive my child of a joyous event (especially when he is the focal point), I am not sure I would want to set a precedent that you pay for things she wants you to pay for. With the two of you being divorced, these type of things need to be decided collectively.

good on you.

 

[Ilov80s]

Maybe she will be classy and publicly thank/acknowledge you at the party. Shoot me if she tries to accept thanks for the food.

 

[Corporation]

So, the conclusion of the story: I texted the ex and advised that I was not in agreement with her suggestion and that I would be happy to split the bill with her.

She then responded that the money would be a struggle for her at this time as she has had a number of unexpected expenses most of which were related to her health as she had been suffering symptoms from something doctors have as yet been unable to diagnose.

Trying to find the highest road here, maintain the celebratory air of the occasion (being my child's graduation), I decided to not to bog the whole issue down into a fight over a couple of hundred dollars. I moved on from there and just agreed to cover the bill.

Good job

 

[General Malaise]

Also customary for the mother to blow the father afterwards.

 

[Leviathan]

Carmine's looks like a solide choice. Lawd knows I love me some Italian comestibles.

Congrats to your son and I agree with your decision despite your ex lying through her tooth.

 

[Skipdog77]

Good on ya, although I hope you told her it would have been better if she was just honest with you upfront.

Congrats to your son. I love Carmine's...now I want to get back there.

 

[stbugs]

Definitely let her know ahead of time so there is no scene. 50/50 is more than generous or maybe tell her you'll pay for you, your 2 guests/your kid and the tip. You don't want to do the splitting for the first time at the restaurant, it will cause a scene and you are trying to keep the kid out of it.

This is a terrible idea. So he'll be getting out s calculator and will sit there crunching numbers figuring out what each of these people ate and drank and then totaling it up with everyone sitting there? Awkward.

50/50. You're half responsible for making the kid. It's an event for him, a big one. Don't make a big deal out of it. But no way do you pay the whole thing.

Huh? I said split it. My other thought was more if he was struggling, kind of like the BS story his ex said to make him pay for it all. I don't know his situation.

 

[Bucky86]

Yeah, okay.

 

[stbugs]

Yeah, okay.

What? Is it that hard to read? 50/50 is more than generous if he barely had any guests and she had a flock. I can't also suggest that "maybe" he tell her he'll pay for his guests? Otis didn't copy the rest of my post where I mentioned that when he said 90% that made it seem like a lot of people and that $300-400 was too low an estimate. If he was balking at $300-400, is it a stretch to think that that is a lot for him? It ended up being too much for her even at 50-50.

Oh well.

 

[HughHoney]

The old undiagnosed health problems to pay for the kids graduation dinner trick. Can't believe you fell for that one sucker.

 

[Fennis]

Are you in far better financial position to pay for it? Can she afford to split the bill?

Good questions

 

[Bucky86]

Yeah, okay.

What? Is it that hard to read? 50/50 is more than generous if he barely had any guests and she had a flock. I can't also suggest that "maybe" he tell her he'll pay for his guests? Otis didn't copy the rest of my post where I mentioned that when he said 90% that made it seem like a lot of people and that $300-400 was too low an estimate. If he was balking at $300-400, is it a stretch to think that that is a lot for him? It ended up being too much for her even at 50-50.

Oh well.

Dude. Chill. I wasn't even responding to you. I was making fun of her excuse to make the guy pay for the dinner. Going from what's customary, to now saying her medical issues make it so she isn't able to pay. If it was the latter she should've said that from the beginning instead of making up some B.S. custom.

 

[stbugs]

Yeah, okay.

What? Is it that hard to read? 50/50 is more than generous if he barely had any guests and she had a flock. I can't also suggest that "maybe" he tell her he'll pay for his guests? Otis didn't copy the rest of my post where I mentioned that when he said 90% that made it seem like a lot of people and that $300-400 was too low an estimate. If he was balking at $300-400, is it a stretch to think that that is a lot for him? It ended up being too much for her even at 50-50.

Oh well.

Dude. Chill. I wasn't even responding to you. I was making fun of her excuse to make the guy pay for the dinner. Going from what's customary, to now saying her medical issues make it so she isn't able to pay. If it was the latter she should've said that from the beginning instead of making up some B.S. custom.

My bad man. I agree completely. It was a BS story at the start and end.

 

[eoMMan]

Wrong decision made here but glad it all worked out. Hope your son had a nice time.

 

[FattyVM]

Get there 35 minutes early. Ask what section your party is in. Get your server to find a second set of notepads and have her note on the top right corner with R and B for the first and second sides of the family. Tell everyone in your party to say 'R' ... 'order'.... Pay whatever is charged to that party; with a generous tip. Leave EVERYTHING else up to her. If her party figures it out AND if they figure out your play... good on them.

 

[Corporation]

Get there 35 minutes early. Ask what section your party is in. Get your server to find a second set of notepads and have her note on the top right corner with R and B for the first and second sides of the family. Tell everyone in your party to say 'R' ... 'order'.... Pay whatever is charged to that party; with a generous tip. Leave EVERYTHING else up to her. If her party figures it out AND if they figure out your play... good on them.

First, build a time machine and undo the good result you already have. Then, follow this advice to the letter. This should result in a more interesting thread from this point on since it was almost dead.

 

[FattyVM]

Get there 35 minutes early. Ask what section your party is in. Get your server to find a second set of notepads and have her note on the top right corner with R and B for the first and second sides of the family. Tell everyone in your party to say 'R' ... 'order'.... Pay whatever is charged to that party; with a generous tip. Leave EVERYTHING else up to her. If her party figures it out AND if they figure out your play... good on them.

First, build a time machine and undo the good result you already have. Then, follow this advice to the letter. This should result in a more interesting thread from this point on since it was almost dead.

Jea. I noticed the timestamp afterward. I haven't been 'on' this week.

 

[Corporation]

Get there 35 minutes early. Ask what section your party is in. Get your server to find a second set of notepads and have her note on the top right corner with R and B for the first and second sides of the family. Tell everyone in your party to say 'R' ... 'order'.... Pay whatever is charged to that party; with a generous tip. Leave EVERYTHING else up to her. If her party figures it out AND if they figure out your play... good on them.

First, build a time machine and undo the good result you already have. Then, follow this advice to the letter. This should result in a more interesting thread from this point on since it was almost dead.

Jea. I noticed the timestamp afterward. I haven't been 'on' this week.

Ah I was just joking around

 

[rockaction]

I think this was a good result. Been to Carmine's for an engagement dinner, and it was really good. You also handled this with grace. Well done all around.