Found out my son is being abused. Update #696 (1 Viewer)

[TBam]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:

"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "

He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.

I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle.

Good luck Seahawk.

Pretty long story, but I will try to give the short version...

I get to see my children every summer for visitation. Last summer my son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good. I call my ex and talked to her about the situation and she denied everything. I bought my son a cell phone and programed it with his local Sheriff's office and child welfare office. Told him if he touched him again and left a mark call the pre-programmed numbers. Apparently as soon as he got home, my ex takes his phone away and step dad works him over with a belt. I talked to him twice in the last year and it was only for a few minutes each time.

Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) I tell my son that I am going to take him to the doctor about his allergies and ask him if there is anything else he needs like a sports physical. He says he needs his thumb looked at he thinks it's broken. He goes on to tell me that his mom beat him with a broom, and then tells me everything his step dad did to him in the last year. Hitting him with belts, paddles, a cheese grater and other items. He says that his mom took him out of all school activities so that he can't tell. He is not allowed to leave his room, he is not allowed to have friends over or go to other people's houses. She works at the school and if he told a teacher they would believe her, and he would be in trouble for telling.

So, I enroll both my children in counseling and my daughter backs up her brother's stories...she has seen him being beat, stabbed with keys, and whole handprints on his body(ex called and told the counselor if she saw the children she will sue her), called my local child welfare office and they have been interviewed. The counselor states that I should file for immediate danger custody, so I do that. Contact my ex and tell her we have a court date for custody, she states if I go to court I will never see the kids again, and calls both of my children lyers.

Tuesday I had my court date, roll in their and LOST . Ex lies about me contacting her last year, lies that I called her about the hearing...(even though she managed to call in and her attorney was there) she flipped the script on me and says it's a child support issue and that's why I am making false accusations. They call my child welfare worker and he was on vacation. Judge says I have no proof of abuse and dismissed it. Ex calls 20 minitues after court and tells the kids she knows what they did and she will deal with them when they return.

So, my children are scared to death, I ####ed everything up and they are due to return at the end of the month. Oregon child welfare is investigating but told me since there are no marks on my son there is not much they can do. I called my local police, they won't do anything because they live in another state. I called the police station in the other state and they won't do anything because they are currently here. I called their home state's child welfare and they told me the investigation won't be completed before they are due to leave. They said if they do find abuse my children would be in foster care for 4-6 months before they could send them back to Oregon.

I saw an attorney today, he said theres not much he can do to stop the return to my ex by the departure date but he will try for 3,000.00. He told me if I was worried not to send them back. He thinks he can plead the custodial interference (which is what I would be arrested for) down to a misdemeanor. Thinks I will only do twenty days county time, and two years probation.

The system sucks...and the system is failing my children. I read about it all the time but it's different when your involved. My children our scared to death and I feel like I have failed them. I really don't think going to jail will solve anything, even though I am prepared to do that. I refuse to have my children in foster care.

It wasn't short and I apologize, not looking for legal advice...I guess I need to know what the shark move is?

See the Bolded part from the OP, the abuse was known when they were sent home last summer.

 

[fightingduck]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:

"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "

He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.

I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle.

Good luck Seahawk.

Pretty long story, but I will try to give the short version...I get to see my children every summer for visitation. Last summer my son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good. I call my ex and talked to her about the situation and she denied everything. I bought my son a cell phone and programed it with his local Sheriff's office and child welfare office. Told him if he touched him again and left a mark call the pre-programmed numbers. Apparently as soon as he got home, my ex takes his phone away and step dad works him over with a belt. I talked to him twice in the last year and it was only for a few minutes each time.

Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) I tell my son that I am going to take him to the doctor about his allergies and ask him if there is anything else he needs like a sports physical. He says he needs his thumb looked at he thinks it's broken. He goes on to tell me that his mom beat him with a broom, and then tells me everything his step dad did to him in the last year. Hitting him with belts, paddles, a cheese grater and other items. He says that his mom took him out of all school activities so that he can't tell. He is not allowed to leave his room, he is not allowed to have friends over or go to other people's houses. She works at the school and if he told a teacher they would believe her, and he would be in trouble for telling.

So, I enroll both my children in counseling and my daughter backs up her brother's stories...she has seen him being beat, stabbed with keys, and whole handprints on his body(ex called and told the counselor if she saw the children she will sue her), called my local child welfare office and they have been interviewed. The counselor states that I should file for immediate danger custody, so I do that. Contact my ex and tell her we have a court date for custody, she states if I go to court I will never see the kids again, and calls both of my children lyers.

Tuesday I had my court date, roll in their and LOST . Ex lies about me contacting her last year, lies that I called her about the hearing...(even though she managed to call in and her attorney was there) she flipped the script on me and says it's a child support issue and that's why I am making false accusations. They call my child welfare worker and he was on vacation. Judge says I have no proof of abuse and dismissed it. Ex calls 20 minitues after court and tells the kids she knows what they did and she will deal with them when they return.

So, my children are scared to death, I ####ed everything up and they are due to return at the end of the month. Oregon child welfare is investigating but told me since there are no marks on my son there is not much they can do. I called my local police, they won't do anything because they live in another state. I called the police station in the other state and they won't do anything because they are currently here. I called their home state's child welfare and they told me the investigation won't be completed before they are due to leave. They said if they do find abuse my children would be in foster care for 4-6 months before they could send them back to Oregon.

I saw an attorney today, he said theres not much he can do to stop the return to my ex by the departure date but he will try for 3,000.00. He told me if I was worried not to send them back. He thinks he can plead the custodial interference (which is what I would be arrested for) down to a misdemeanor. Thinks I will only do twenty days county time, and two years probation.

The system sucks...and the system is failing my children. I read about it all the time but it's different when your involved. My children our scared to death and I feel like I have failed them. I really don't think going to jail will solve anything, even though I am prepared to do that. I refuse to have my children in foster care.

It wasn't short and I apologize, not looking for legal advice...I guess I need to know what the shark move is?

See the Bolded part from the OP, the abuse was known when they were sent home last summer.

See the underlined part where he said that the didn't know about the above (what you bolded).Also, further in, where he explains the timeline.

 

[fightingduck]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

One could take issue with that. I drove for six hours each way every other weekend during my split whem my ex moved my kids. Then, I moved to the same Metro area when I found a job there. However, I typically don't criticize others for not doing that since a) its very hard on everyone, b) others may not have that opportunity, and c) the best time with the kids are for long stretches without mom around - like the summer. I can understand why someone may not move if they think mom's doing fine doing the shcool year. That said, it's only relavant to the story given the complexities that it has caused with the current custody battle. Hindsight's 20/20. My guess is seahawk wishes he were closer now.

 

[toshiba]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

One could take issue with that. I drove for six hours each way every other weekend during my split whem my ex moved my kids. Then, I moved to the same Metro area when I found a job there. However, I typically don't criticize others for not doing that since a) its very hard on everyone, b) others may not have that opportunity, and c) the best time with the kids are for long stretches without mom around - like the summer. I can understand why someone may not move if they think mom's doing fine doing the shcool year. That said, it's only relavant to the story given the complexities that it has caused with the current custody battle. Hindsight's 20/20. My guess is seahawk wishes he were closer now.

As a parent, I just can't see being away from my kids for so long. But then again, I don't think anything like this situation would ever happen to me.

 

[Doug B]

The sentence "Last summer my son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good" ... is that supposed to be "My son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good last summer"?

That seems to be TBam's sticking point ... once part of the OP makes it look like seahawk has known of the abuse since summer 2009, and other parts (underlined in post #252 above) make it look like seahawk has only found out this summer.

 

[Doug B]

As a parent, I just can't see being away from my kids for so long. But then again, I don't think anything like this situation would ever happen to me.

No one every does.

 

[Joseph]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

One could take issue with that. I drove for six hours each way every other weekend during my split whem my ex moved my kids. Then, I moved to the same Metro area when I found a job there. However, I typically don't criticize others for not doing that since a) its very hard on everyone, b) others may not have that opportunity, and c) the best time with the kids are for long stretches without mom around - like the summer. I can understand why someone may not move if they think mom's doing fine doing the shcool year. That said, it's only relavant to the story given the complexities that it has caused with the current custody battle. Hindsight's 20/20. My guess is seahawk wishes he were closer now.

As a parent, I just can't see being away from my kids for so long. But then again, I don't think anything like this situation would ever happen to me.

the OP probably would have said the same thing 2 years ago...

 

[Early_10]

He seems to have known about the abuse last year as he bought his son the cell with the Sheriffs number programmed in. How if you know of ANY abuse do you not talk about it/check up on him for almost a full year?

How does the wife get to leave the state without the dads consent?

 

[johnnycakes]

Wow. This is a much, much more serious situation than I had previously understood... thanks for the abridged summary, TBam. I can tell you that if you lived in MA, and the KIDS were to tell DSS what they told you, DSS, while perhaps not able to immediately change custody, would absolutely, positively open a "file" that would include regular visits with DSS personnel and if allegations of abuse continued from the KIDS, then they would definitely be in a situation to do SOMETHING. Perhaps not change custody... they may be able to place the kids in foster care, then you could throw that at the judge in trying to change the custody arrangement.

Are you working right now? If not, I would half-way seriouosly consider connecting with one of those underground railroad type deals that battered wives connect with to go "underground" for a while. That's a last resort if the system is truly failing the way you have described. But you really need to man-up and get serious, high-powered legal help on board. Even if it means going into bankruptcy to fund the legal fees. At least that's how I'd be thinking.

 

[timschochet]

Seahawk, if all else fails, my advice is to return the kids. If nothing else, I'm betting that you have scared your ex-wife and her spouse enough so that they will not commit anymore abuse, for the time being. In the meantime, you've got to continue to be vigilant. And I agree with Joe Bryant's advice earlier in this thread: if that means quitting your job and moving to the other state, so be it. These are your children. Your job and the rest of your life pales in importance.

But whatever you do, DO NOT BREAK THE LAW. I understand you're prepared to go to jail, and that's commendable of you under the circumstances. But once you've crossed that line the likelihood is that you will never get your kids back, possibly you may never see them again. Don't do it. I wish I could give you more cheerful advice under the circumstances, but there it is. Keep fighting, but legally.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

not everyone can just pick up and move completely across the country.

 

[trogg78]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

not everyone can just pick up and move completely across the country.

Everyone that isn't restricted by a court can.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

not everyone can just pick up and move completely across the country.

Everyone that isn't restricted by a court can.

maybe you haven't noticed the economy these days.better to be bankrupt and on welfare living in Indiana or making money in Oregon?how do you take care of your kids when you're broke with no job?

 

[Bonzai]

Wow. This is a much, much more serious situation than I had previously understood... thanks for the abridged summary, TBam. I can tell you that if you lived in MA, and the KIDS were to tell DSS what they told you, DSS, while perhaps not able to immediately change custody, would absolutely, positively open a "file" that would include regular visits with DSS personnel and if allegations of abuse continued from the KIDS, then they would definitely be in a situation to do SOMETHING. Perhaps not change custody... they may be able to place the kids in foster care, then you could throw that at the judge in trying to change the custody arrangement. Are you working right now? If not, I would half-way seriouosly consider connecting with one of those underground railroad type deals that battered wives connect with to go "underground" for a while. That's a last resort if the system is truly failing the way you have described. But you really need to man-up and get serious, high-powered legal help on board. Even if it means going into bankruptcy to fund the legal fees. At least that's how I'd be thinking.

It's my understanding that a file has been opened in both states now. CPS in the mother's state is waiting for the kids to return so that they can investigate. CPS in seahawk's state are unable to take action because the kids are currently safe. I don't see how going nuclear on this would be helpful. I don't really see any other option than to return the kids and let CPS do their job. If you're able to move and find employment closer to your kids, that would be great, but I understand that that can be incredibly difficult. In the end, making sure that your situation is stable is important. You don't want to throw your life into chaos trying to prove to everyone that you're the world's greatest dad; that's only going to hurt your ability to show that you can provide a more stable environment for your kids.All that said, it's easy for me to be objective and type this on the internet. I wouldn't want to trade places with you. Good luck, man.

 

[johnnycakes]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:

"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "

He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.

I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle.

Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

not everyone can just pick up and move completely across the country.

Everyone that isn't restricted by a court can.

maybe you haven't noticed the economy these days.better to be bankrupt and on welfare living in Indiana or making money in Oregon?

how do you take care of your kids when you're broke with no job?

child support reverses polarity. At a minimum, it sounds like the kids would be better off in foster care. That might be easier to accomplish than getting a change of custody right off the bat. I dunno, but I have a hard time putting money ahead of the welfare of the kids. I'd take out a credit card advance in a heartbeat, use it to pay the legal bills, moving expenses or whatever, along with bk attorney fees, wait the requisite amount of time... 90 days, 6 months, or whatever, then file and stiff BOA or whoever. Of course, not everyone can be the complete ##### I can be when I set out to accomplish an objective.

 

[johnnycakes]

Wow. This is a much, much more serious situation than I had previously understood... thanks for the abridged summary, TBam. I can tell you that if you lived in MA, and the KIDS were to tell DSS what they told you, DSS, while perhaps not able to immediately change custody, would absolutely, positively open a "file" that would include regular visits with DSS personnel and if allegations of abuse continued from the KIDS, then they would definitely be in a situation to do SOMETHING. Perhaps not change custody... they may be able to place the kids in foster care, then you could throw that at the judge in trying to change the custody arrangement.

Are you working right now? If not, I would half-way seriouosly consider connecting with one of those underground railroad type deals that battered wives connect with to go "underground" for a while. That's a last resort if the system is truly failing the way you have described. But you really need to man-up and get serious, high-powered legal help on board. Even if it means going into bankruptcy to fund the legal fees. At least that's how I'd be thinking.

It's my understanding that a file has been opened in both states now. CPS in the mother's state is waiting for the kids to return so that they can investigate. CPS in seahawk's state are unable to take action because the kids are currently safe. I don't see how going nuclear on this would be helpful. I don't really see any other option than to return the kids and let CPS do their job. If you're able to move and find employment closer to your kids, that would be great, but I understand that that can be incredibly difficult. In the end, making sure that your situation is stable is important. You don't want to throw your life into chaos trying to prove to everyone that you're the world's greatest dad; that's only going to hurt your ability to show that you can provide a more stable environment for your kids.

All that said, it's easy for me to be objective and type this on the internet. I wouldn't want to trade places with you. Good luck, man.

Depends on how you define "going nucular". If it means going the underground railroad route, I clearly said that was a last resort after exhausting legal options. If it means going into bankruptcy in order to get the legal help you need... well, the guy is describing some really nasty physical abuse. No way in hell would I send my kids back to that UNLESS I knew that CPS was indeed going to be involved in their lives going forward... and I would want to know the name of the CPS case worker and I would be in contact with that person regularly.

 

[Bonzai]

Wow. This is a much, much more serious situation than I had previously understood... thanks for the abridged summary, TBam. I can tell you that if you lived in MA, and the KIDS were to tell DSS what they told you, DSS, while perhaps not able to immediately change custody, would absolutely, positively open a "file" that would include regular visits with DSS personnel and if allegations of abuse continued from the KIDS, then they would definitely be in a situation to do SOMETHING. Perhaps not change custody... they may be able to place the kids in foster care, then you could throw that at the judge in trying to change the custody arrangement.

Are you working right now? If not, I would half-way seriouosly consider connecting with one of those underground railroad type deals that battered wives connect with to go "underground" for a while. That's a last resort if the system is truly failing the way you have described. But you really need to man-up and get serious, high-powered legal help on board. Even if it means going into bankruptcy to fund the legal fees. At least that's how I'd be thinking.

It's my understanding that a file has been opened in both states now. CPS in the mother's state is waiting for the kids to return so that they can investigate. CPS in seahawk's state are unable to take action because the kids are currently safe. I don't see how going nuclear on this would be helpful. I don't really see any other option than to return the kids and let CPS do their job. If you're able to move and find employment closer to your kids, that would be great, but I understand that that can be incredibly difficult. In the end, making sure that your situation is stable is important. You don't want to throw your life into chaos trying to prove to everyone that you're the world's greatest dad; that's only going to hurt your ability to show that you can provide a more stable environment for your kids.

All that said, it's easy for me to be objective and type this on the internet. I wouldn't want to trade places with you. Good luck, man.

Depends on how you define "going nucular". If it means going the underground railroad route, I clearly said that was a last resort after exhausting legal options. If it means going into bankruptcy in order to get the legal help you need... well, the guy is describing some really nasty physical abuse. No way in hell would I send my kids back to that UNLESS I knew that CPS was indeed going to be involved in their lives going forward... and I would want to know the name of the CPS case worker and I would be in contact with that person regularly.

Absolutely.You have this information, right seahawk?

 

[Doug B]

Seahawk, do you have friends/family in Indiana that could host you for frequent visits? I was thinking that if you couldn't actually live in Indiana, you could visit often for three- or four-day weekends, stay with family/friends, and make visits to the ex's home to see the children. It would also give you opportunities for face time with the CPS case worker in Indiana.

 

[TBam]

The sentence "Last summer my son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good" ... is that supposed to be "My son said his step dad was knocking him around pretty good last summer"?

That seems to be TBam's sticking point ... once part of the OP makes it look like seahawk has known of the abuse since summer 2009, and other parts (underlined in post #252 above) make it look like seahawk has only found out this summer.

Thank you, that is exactly my sticking point

He also mentions in that same first paragraph about giving him the phone with the numbers programmed in and the mother taking it away when he got back last summer.

 

[TBam]

He seems to have known about the abuse last year as he bought his son the cell with the Sheriffs number programmed in. How if you know of ANY abuse do you not talk about it/check up on him for almost a full year?How does the wife get to leave the state without the dads consent?

 

[glumpy]

He also mentions in that same first paragraph about giving him the phone with the numbers programmed in and the mother taking it away when he got back last summer.

I don't see why that itself can't be pursued. Is it legal for the mother to take away a phone the father's paying for either emergencies or so his kids can reach him?

 

[trogg78]

I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.

My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?

not everyone can just pick up and move completely across the country.

Everyone that isn't restricted by a court can.

maybe you haven't noticed the economy these days.better to be bankrupt and on welfare living in Indiana or making money in Oregon?how do you take care of your kids when you're broke with no job?

Excuses, excuses. No job or amount of money should be more important than your kids.

 

[General Malaise]

I think the OP is lying to us about something, or failing to tell the whole truth anyway.

I don't know, I read that as when they scheduled the kids' trip to his place the OP had agreed to let them go home early for the family vacation, which was before he had all this new info about the abuse. Now that the info is out he's changed that plan...Dude's wrestling with how to keep his kids safe and not end up in jail for custodial interference or kidnapping or whatever the charge would be. Compound that with various CPS jurisdictions passing the buck and not wanting to deal with things themselves. Its a pretty ####ty situation he's in...

 

[Ignoratio Elenchi]

Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)

Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.

Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.

At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.

Update?

 

[TBam]

Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)

Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.

Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.

At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.

Update?

I think he has been busy deciding which of 3 women to continue to bang

 

[seahawk 17]

Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)

Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.

Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.

At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.

Update?

I think he has been busy deciding which of 3 women to continue to bang

That would be my brother, but I wish I those problems!

 

[seahawk 17]

Update:

The children were due to return on July 29th, but I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. They called law enforcement in Indiana and the child welfare dept and advised that the children should be taken from the home. My worker in Oregon states that even though abuse has occurred he can't do anything since they are not residents of Oregon.

My ex filed contempt of court charges against me last week and a request to have my visitation revoked since I have planted the abuse in their head, and failed to return them. I am looking at fines of 500.00 per day if found guilty and pay all of her attorney fees.

Today my ex emailed me and stated that she has gotten a writ of assistance, which allows the police to pick up the children and get them back to Indiana, so I am assuming she has found out about the evaluation.

So, like a common criminal I am hiding from the police until I get this resolved. I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens. My attorney's office is closed until the 20th, I call my child welfare worker and left him a message that he needs to get off his ###.

Until then I'm on the run making matters worse I'm sure, while everybody else plays pass the buck.

 

[pigskinliquors]

Update:The children were due to return on July 29th, but I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. They called law enforcement in Indiana and the child welfare dept and advised that the children should be taken from the home. My worker in Oregon states that even though abuse has occurred he can't do anything since they are not residents of Oregon.My ex filed contempt of court charges against me last week and a request to have my visitation revoked since I have planted the abuse in their head, and failed to return them. I am looking at fines of 500.00 per day if found guilty and pay all of her attorney fees.Today my ex emailed me and stated that she has gotten a writ of assistance, which allows the police to pick up the children and get them back to Indiana, so I am assuming she has found out about the evaluation.So, like a common criminal I am hiding from the police until I get this resolved. I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens. My attorney's office is closed until the 20th, I call my child welfare worker and left him a message that he needs to get off his ###.Until then I'm on the run making matters worse I'm sure, while everybody else plays pass the buck.

Hang in there seahawk!

 

[TommyGilmore]

I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th...

They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred.

I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens.

Exaggeration and drama will get you nowhere.

 

[Native]

Update:The children were due to return on July 29th, but I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. They called law enforcement in Indiana and the child welfare dept and advised that the children should be taken from the home. My worker in Oregon states that even though abuse has occurred he can't do anything since they are not residents of Oregon.My ex filed contempt of court charges against me last week and a request to have my visitation revoked since I have planted the abuse in their head, and failed to return them. I am looking at fines of 500.00 per day if found guilty and pay all of her attorney fees.Today my ex emailed me and stated that she has gotten a writ of assistance, which allows the police to pick up the children and get them back to Indiana, so I am assuming she has found out about the evaluation.So, like a common criminal I am hiding from the police until I get this resolved. I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens. My attorney's office is closed until the 20th, I call my child welfare worker and left him a message that he needs to get off his ###.Until then I'm on the run making matters worse I'm sure, while everybody else plays pass the buck.

Wow! Be strong dude!

 

[glock]

Update:The children were due to return on July 29th, but I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. They called law enforcement in Indiana and the child welfare dept and advised that the children should be taken from the home. My worker in Oregon states that even though abuse has occurred he can't do anything since they are not residents of Oregon.My ex filed contempt of court charges against me last week and a request to have my visitation revoked since I have planted the abuse in their head, and failed to return them. I am looking at fines of 500.00 per day if found guilty and pay all of her attorney fees.Today my ex emailed me and stated that she has gotten a writ of assistance, which allows the police to pick up the children and get them back to Indiana, so I am assuming she has found out about the evaluation.So, like a common criminal I am hiding from the police until I get this resolved. I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens. My attorney's office is closed until the 20th, I call my child welfare worker and left him a message that he needs to get off his ###.Until then I'm on the run making matters worse I'm sure, while everybody else plays pass the buck.

Pulling for you here, Seahawk. What do the Oregon police have to say about this? Abuse suspicions being upheld by an investigator and all?BTW- I have a safe house you can use. It ain't close, but...

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I missed this thread earlier and just hopped in at the update. GL, Seahawk.

 

[Polish Hammer]

Wishing you and the kids the best of luck, and the worst of it to the ex and her current man.

 

[Ned]

Wishing you and the kids the best of luck, and the worst of it to the ex and her current man.

 

[Doug B]

... I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. ... I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens.

Proof admissable in court? What kind of proof?

 

[scoobygang]

... I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. ... I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens.

Proof admissable in court? What kind of proof?

A finding of abuse by a state agency is certainly admissible evidence.

 

[glock]

... I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. ... I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens.

Proof admissable in court? What kind of proof?

A finding of abuse by a state agency is certainly admissible evidence.

I'm hoping that that is who the "investigator" is... Wasn't able to confirm that.

 

[higgins]

Keep your head up, Seah -- good luck.

 

[Doug B]

... the kids are supposed to start school at some point, too. :(

Some people believe that CPS-type organizationa tend to overreact to abuse allegations ... to the point that many say mere accusation is enough to get kids out of a home (pending length investigation). But then there's stories like seahawk's out there, where CPS (in two states!) just sits on their hands.

Maybe CPS types see jillions of divorced parents use "they're abusing my kids!" falsely as a weapon, and thus tend to somewhat disbelieve them? I wonder if one of seahawk's ex-wife's neighbors called about child abuse, if the Oregon CPS would act differently?

 

[Doug B]

... I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. ... I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens.

Proof admissable in court? What kind of proof?

A finding of abuse by a state agency is certainly admissible evidence.

Well then ... heaven and earth should be moving by now. These types of situations leave me shuked.

 

[SouthJersey]

good luck, seahawk

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Update:

The children were due to return on July 29th, but I was able to get my son a child abuse evaluation with an investigator on August 5th... so as promised I never sent them back. They called me Monday and said that abuse has occurred. They called law enforcement in Indiana and the child welfare dept and advised that the children should be taken from the home. My worker in Oregon states that even though abuse has occurred he can't do anything since they are not residents of Oregon.

My ex filed contempt of court charges against me last week and a request to have my visitation revoked since I have planted the abuse in their head, and failed to return them. I am looking at fines of 500.00 per day if found guilty and pay all of her attorney fees.

Today my ex emailed me and stated that she has gotten a writ of assistance, which allows the police to pick up the children and get them back to Indiana, so I am assuming she has found out about the evaluation.

So, like a common criminal I am hiding from the police until I get this resolved. I finally have proof abuse has occurred and still nothing happens. My attorney's office is closed until the 20th, I call my child welfare worker and left him a message that he needs to get off his ###.

Until then I'm on the run making matters worse I'm sure, while everybody else plays pass the buck.

This is absurd. I haven't followed the thread so don't know what's going on here, but your first order of business should be to hire a real lawyer. It is entirely unheard of in the legal profession - at any time under any circumstances whatsoever - to close an office and be unable to help your clients for 8 days. 8 hours maybe, but even that is pushing it. In the area of family law and child custody, this is even more extraordinary. Lawyers who practice in that area have accepted the fact that they will take calls from clients 24/7/365 - weekends, holidays, vacations be damned. Good luck. I don't think I can stand to read this thread anymore.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Good luck. If you end up in MD, stop on by!!!!

 

[jynsr]

wow...what a terrible story. I think my strategy would be to set up a residence in her local area so at least you don't have to deal with different state lines/jurisdictions. Work with the local PD and possibly hire a PI to keep tabs on the kids. That way, the minute something happens you can be there.

This... If you want to help your children you have to be there for them... I'm not trying to be an ###, but its tough to be there for your kids when you do not live in the same area... I'm not saying this would not of occured had you been nearby, but it sure as hell puts you in a better position to respond...

 

[SuperJohn96]

GB you for doing the best for your kids in an impossible situation!

 

[jynsr]

One idea- dunno if it will work- perhaps you could contact the school your son is attending and inform them of your concern. If they see any signs of abuse, then they are obligated to contact Child Protective Services, who may take the school's concern more seriously than they would take yours as a parent. They may even remove your son from his stepdad. It's just a thought...

School is out for summer. We raised our kids to always trust a teacher, but she has destroyed that with in them, because she works for the school.

this has been happening to my nephew... The only difference is that the abuse is verbal and systematic, not physical... It sucks because in those cases child protective services can not do anything... My brother and his wife have cut off relations with any that have tried to help him, including myself... And my sister-in-law worked for the school... when she go laid off CPS got called twice, so they pulled him from school... kid lives like Harry Potter... last time I saw his room the only things in it were his bed and school books on the floor... no furnature, cloths or anything else... It sucks because there is nothing I can do :/

 

[BobbyLayne]

CletiusMaximus post #292 FTW

GL GB

 

[McJose]

We don't have any FBG lawyers up in Oregon?

 

[timschochet]

Something's wrong here.

I have followed this thread throughout, tried to give Seahawk what advice I could, and I have rejected skeptics who have suggested that this is one big fishing trip. But now...

I am no lawyer, but what's being described makes no sense. There is no reason Seahawk should be hiding from the law. I know nothing about Seahawk, and child abuse is a terrible thing, and if this story is true then my heart goes out to him and his family and I wish them nothing but luck....

but I'm beginning to suspect we are being fished. This story doesn't sound right to me.

 

[General Malaise]

We don't have any FBG lawyers up in Oregon?

I offered to set him up with my guy, but was ignored. I tried.