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Is it normal to feel jealous of those who had the college experience (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter wazoo11
- Start date
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
that's engineered into the experience with extreme prejudice and is possibly now ahead of religion as a category of artificial class bias, whether for athletic or social eminence
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nirad3
Footballguy
I had an awesome overall college experience but I think about this a lot. I would have loved to go to a school in the South where football is just incredible.
I feel fortunate that I spent 6 years in Austin and got to go to a handful of UT tailgates and games. But it wasn't as a student. That would have been wild.
I feel fortunate that I spent 6 years in Austin and got to go to a handful of UT tailgates and games. But it wasn't as a student. That would have been wild.
TLEF316
Footballguy
I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there.
But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff.
Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun. At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.
Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers, (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.
Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years
But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff.
Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun. At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.
Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers, (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.
Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years
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wazoo11
Footballguy
Editing to not be too harsh on people getting an education at an SEC school - ultimately it is a short period of your life and I am always weirded out by people who make it their whole identity. I went to DIV 1 sporting events and stuff and it was fun, but not like... life affirming.
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Joe Summer
Footballguy
Person A went to a small private college, has a great career and a great life, but he's jealous of Person B.
Person B went to a state school with a decent fraternity experience, but he's jealous of Person C.
Person C went to a party school in the south. He's jealous of Person A.
Person B went to a state school with a decent fraternity experience, but he's jealous of Person C.
Person C went to a party school in the south. He's jealous of Person A.
zamboni
Footballguy
Where did you go? Sounds a bit like SUNY Binghamton, where I went, although its not a small school per se.I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there.
But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff.
Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun. At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.
Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers, (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.
Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years
MAC_32
Footballguy
Sustaining high school friendships with those that went to big schools made this a non-issue. Some memorable weekends I don't particularly remember.
MAC_32
Footballguy
Don't Toews Me
Footballguy
I feel like this is my problem. Perhaps others as well.
No matter what decision you make, you always look at the other options and wonder "what if" and think it would've been better. For me, this occurs due to focusing on the negatives of my experience, not focusing on the positives, and thinking the other options would have been perfect.
Newsflash (and something I constantly remind myself): With any experience, there are positives. There are negatives. There is no perfect experience. There are simply different experiences.
It's like "the grass is greener" mentality. You set myself up for failure with this mentality because no matter what decision you make, you think you made the wrong choice.
A friend of mine, young guy, prior to quarantine, would always complain to me about his job. "It sucks, the pay isn't enough," etc. Quarantine hits, begins to collect unemployment (making more on UE than at his job) and is away from his job and all the things that bothered him about the job. And during quarantine, all I heard was how much he misses his job. I kid you not. I wish I had a tape recorder of one of our conversations from 6 months ago to play to him.
Drunken knight
Footballguy
this.
I received an early acceptance to USC in 87. Waited and ended up going down to USD. Would have loved following the sports program at USC (still followed).
I played lacrosse and would see my high school friends/team mates on 80% of our opponents' teams.
For NCAA D1, followed SDSU.... got to see faulk and for you old school ff players, darnay scott and Dan Mcgwire (Mark's brother)
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Sand
Footballguy
So when I went there we were pretty ####ty at football, but we did win the ACC over Hurley/Laettner one year (no lie - best game I've ever seen).
Maybe half jealous?
TLEF316
Footballguy
Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
I mean, if it is your feeling, I don’t see why it would be wrong. If it starts to consume you, that they may be an issue, but it doesn’t make the feeling wrong.
ragincajun
Footballguy
Don’t be jealous. Come on down. You will find a 100k people ready to show you a good time.
Tecumseh
Footballguy
I didn't go to college until I was in my 40's. I very much wish I had gone during the typical 18-22yr old range. I feel like I missed out on some incredible experiences. Alternatively, I was also offered a pretty sweet gig in the military that I passed on because I was in a relationship at the time (not my future wife). I wonder about how my life would have been different had I chosen that route more often than I wonder about how the college experience would have been.
That being said, I wouldn't have the life or family that I have now if I had taken a different path. But I sure do wonder...
That being said, I wouldn't have the life or family that I have now if I had taken a different path. But I sure do wonder...
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Terminalxylem
Footballguy
I’ve attended or trained at Big Ten, SEC and ACC schools. Didn’t really enjoy any of them.
MTskibum
Footballguy
Montana State, you are jealous of my school.I’ve attended or trained at Big Ten, SEC and ACC schools. Didn’t really enjoy any of them.
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Terminalxylem
Footballguy
Not jealous, but I’m sure I would have enjoyed it far more than any of the schools I attended.Montana State, you are jealous of my school.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
I went to a MAC school. Size wise it’s 5th and sports wise it’s 3rd-5th in state. On subjective beauty, there’s a good 15 schools that have a prettier campus.
Never gave it much thought when I lived in state. I went up against Big Ten schools + Norte Dame in accounting competitions (complete nerd) and knew I was in a great program. Even though I was an older, non-traditional student, I belonged to and was heavily involved with a co-ed professional business fraternity. Pig roasts & keg stands, had a very fun college experience. Had a handful of super fun 9-1/2 weeks relationships & married the girl I spent my senior year with (grad student.)
After getting some seasoning I moved to NYC. For the first time I became self conscious because I didn’t have an advanced degree & wasn’t an Ivy League grad. That lasted about two weeks. I spent a lot of time in conference rooms giving power points alongside other folks with more prestigious degrees. Negotiating mergers with people from the most well known I-banks in the world. I was at the top of my game 20 years ago.
Good academic experience (on a full ride after doing 1 year of CC), 3 years in a fraternity at a Top 20 Party School, got my career off to a blazing start. No regrets.
#notgoodathumblebrag
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Ron Swanson
Footballguy
nirad3
Footballguy
When I was a freshman at UC Santa Barbara, we upset the Runnin' Rebels, who at the time were a top-3 program, on Big Monday. The late game, like 9pm local start, so the game was over at like midnight. It was nuts. Couches were torched. And it was even raining that night.
Our basketball team wasn't very good, but we were known for being the "Cameron Indoor of the West".
Football program had been cut a couple years before I got there, so I feel I missed out on that a bit. Fortunately I started following UT and ended up living in Austin for 6 years and got to tailgate/go to games.
-OZ-
Footballguy
A little, yes. But it's understandable.
Yep.
I enjoyed college, a lot. Our sports teams were a big part of that. The football team was bad, we had one player who did anything in the NFL (Charlie Batch) but we loved it. After my freshman year we didn't tailgate like normal, I was part of the ROTC program and we would be on the sidelines with our cannon, ready to celebrate scores. Good times with friends, but no drinking. Basketball was great, those were some good teams, highlighted by beating Duke in the tourney.
But, joining friends in Ann Arbor and East Lansing showed just what I was missing. Those parties were a blast.
What I "missed out on" was while at a big school, law school. I lived an hour away and had kids. We'd enjoy watching the teams but it definitely wasn't the same as it would have been, attending more than a few games, and being able to have good times on campus.
Every so often I'll talk with friends who attended military academies - now that's a different experience entirely.
Zow
Footballguy
This describes my college experience pretty closely, too (in that area I nearly went to Ursinus and Franklin and Marshall before settling on a similar school in MN). Great education, friends, etc. I disliked high school so I still remember the feeling of realizing my freshmen year that there were like 70 guys on my floor all similar to me.I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there.
But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff.
Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun. At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.
Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers, (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.
Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years
Lacked a bit in the girl department (not that I would have been savvy enough to take advantage). After moving to AZ I realized that the PAC-12 was far superior in that category, and dated a Beaver and a Wildcat (I think there was a Cal State grad in there) before marrying a Sun Devil.
If I had to do it all over again I’d have gone to Pepperdine.
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
I gave this some thought.
I did not do well in high school and doubted my ability to 'handle' college so I did a summer school stint at the University of Oregon and found out that if I applied myself I could do well but I was a Colorado resident and could not afford out of state tuition so I moved back to Colorado and got an AA from a small mountain college. I did well and my second year got an academic scholarship free-ride my last year and was offered a free ride to the University of Texas.
I knew I wanted to get a four year degree from a bigger college but doubted I could maintain the high GPA to keep the scholarship to UT and was supposed to live with a girl in Boulder and attend The University of Colorado. I went the girl wound up breaking her leg and not attending so I was on my own and it turned into a great experience.
You mentioned football and we/CU won the National Championship as I was on the sidelines working security so it was special.
Lifetime friends, a really bad relationship (not with the girl who broke her leg) and things that led me to have incredible adventures outside of school all came from going to CU.
I get that 'longing' you have of missing out because I had that same longing before going to CU. Football/sports is not a reason to attend a big school, its an extra. I just so happen to have had an amazing sports/football experience but the friends are the most important thing I took away from my University experience.
I won't lie their is nothing like the brick-and-mortar University experience, walking a beautiful campus with old and new buildings, 'pretty-good profs', and lots of on-campus perks so I 'get' how you could feel like you missed out but I am sure you've had experiences that are precious to you.
Everyone's experience is different. Mine came with a price. I paid for my own education so it meant a lot to me because I literally paid for it. I found that nearly every single one of my friends did not pay for their education. Family or military paid for them. I only met one girl who was paying for her education so I think that made me appreciate it even more.
Have to ask if you paid for your education because I suspect that you did not. If you paid for it you would have been driven to go where you wanted at the time and I think you would have less pangs of jealousy if you paid for the education you were 'privileged' to receive. I think you'd be grateful.
Hankmoody
Footballguy
I would have had a blast but I would have never survived it. I think most of us ended up at the "right" place given that time of life. I wasn't a serious enough student or responsible enough young adult to have been able to handle that much distraction. I was in college because I knew I had to have a degree to survive but man I didn't want to be there. I went to a small bretheren college in a small Ohio town and I still almost partied my way out. Had I gone to OSU or Houston (my only other interest, would have been AMAZING) I can't imagine I would have ever made it to class.
My niece is from upstate NY and is going to Alabama this fall - I'm so, so excited (and yes, jealous) for her. She'll kill it. Her brother is at THE Ohio State University so that's going to be a fun family alumni series.
Apple Jack
Footballguy
I find this a little odd.
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
I’m with you. Completely foreign concept to choose or be jealous of a school based on its sports and/or extracurricular activities. I guess I can understand those priorities for a high school/early college student, so maybe the OP is really young?
ETA Nevermind, I see (s)he’s graduated.
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Golf Guy 69
Footballguy
My biggest take away was the freedom when I went to college. I went to Penn State football games with friends that went there. Don't remember much about the games or anything while there really. Drank a lot.
But kidding aside, I do remember the awesome feeling walking into that stadium. One was a Pitt v PSU game and it's much different than going to Heinz field where the Steelers play.
Golf Guy 69
Footballguy
True story from one of those PSU games. I threw up in the sink in the bathroom. And my buddy's brother asked my why I didn't throw up in the toilet. I gave the honest answer.
I was pooping when I threw up.
I was pooping when I threw up.
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
All your base are belong to us
You have no chance to survive make your time
Hahaha
You have no chance to survive make your time
Hahaha
bigbottom
Footballguy
Was accepted to USC (architecture school) in 1988, but my dad refused to pay the tuition, so I ended up going to Cal Poly Pomona instead. Missed out on the college sports experience, but met my wife and developed lifelong friendships, so no regrets whatsoever for me.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
I got the best of both worlds. Went to Purdue my freshman year because that was the family thing to do. No clue what I wanted to do or study, but hey I was at Purdue. Free football and basketball tickets at a Big Ten school. Didn't rush but went to a lot of frat parties and had the big school experience.
Transferred to Ferris St. during my sophomore year. Much, much smaller school and enrolled into a program which I was interested in. While I enjoyed the fun and the atmosphere at Purdue I enjoyed my time much more at Ferris.
Transferred to Ferris St. during my sophomore year. Much, much smaller school and enrolled into a program which I was interested in. While I enjoyed the fun and the atmosphere at Purdue I enjoyed my time much more at Ferris.
Manster
Footballguy
I think it would be goofy to choose a schools based their sports programs......unless you are playing in a sport. I knew I would stay in-state. I'm glad I chose Oregon State. I was never going to go to Oregon because they don't offer what I wanted academically. Also, my whole family, and friend base, are pretty much OSU....I mean there's a couple stragglers, but not many.
While I'm disappointed with what's happened to the Pac 12, I will always bleed orange and black. What the B1G, and SEC are doing to college football is wrong. I'm looking forward to the new regional rivalries for my school. That's what college athletics should be about.
While I'm disappointed with what's happened to the Pac 12, I will always bleed orange and black. What the B1G, and SEC are doing to college football is wrong. I'm looking forward to the new regional rivalries for my school. That's what college athletics should be about.
MTskibum
Footballguy
Exactly.......................
Says the montana state grad, I chose mine based on skiing!
Manster
Footballguy
I think that's where western US folks differ. I feel like there's a lot more going on out here to distract us from sports. And that's a good thing! You couldn't pay me enough live in Michigan, or Georgia.
This goes hand in hand with population density.
Terminalxylem
Footballguy
Prior to college, I had no idea what I was interested in academically, so I picked the college my mom attended. It’s a big school, several states away from where I grew up, and I knew no one.
That wasn’t fun, so I transferred to the equally big school in-state. I had a few friends from high school there, and was an hour from home. Still didn’t like it.
Both have great Div 1 sporting teams, frats, parties, etc. While I certainly didn’t immerse myself in that culture, I found the whole experience pretty meh.
Unlike the OP, I wish I’d gone somewhere smaller. Not out of jealousy, just thinking I’d like the small school scene better.
That wasn’t fun, so I transferred to the equally big school in-state. I had a few friends from high school there, and was an hour from home. Still didn’t like it.
Both have great Div 1 sporting teams, frats, parties, etc. While I certainly didn’t immerse myself in that culture, I found the whole experience pretty meh.
Unlike the OP, I wish I’d gone somewhere smaller. Not out of jealousy, just thinking I’d like the small school scene better.
fantasy stud
Footballguy
I never went away to school . Stayed at home, went to a small school close by. I still look back at those years as some of the best of my life. No regrets.
massraider
Footballguy
There is great college experiences in many different environments.
I went to school in the city, had a buddy that went to Penn State, which is the most classic insulated big school in a small town, everything-is-about-the-school vibe I could imagine. There was something I feel like I missed out not doing that, but I had experiences in a city he envied. As a single fella, having 50 schools in the area instead of one, was very nice.
If you make good friends, it really doesn't matter.
I went to school in the city, had a buddy that went to Penn State, which is the most classic insulated big school in a small town, everything-is-about-the-school vibe I could imagine. There was something I feel like I missed out not doing that, but I had experiences in a city he envied. As a single fella, having 50 schools in the area instead of one, was very nice.
If you make good friends, it really doesn't matter.
FairWarning
Footballguy
Ferris St has had a very good hockey program. Excellent pharmaceutical school.
Judge Smails
Footballguy
Well, my Cal State LA commute while working full time experience paled to my kids going to UC Santa Barbara and living in Isla Vista. That’s for sure.
dnurk
Footballguy
This is me. Went to Indiana Univ had an OK time but never really felt plugged in. Recently visited Wabash College with my HS aged son and think I would have loved a really small school.
Dr. No
Footballguy
Yes, friends and colleagues i know that went to great sports schools have a great relationship with their team, really feel some ownership in the team and their success. That said I have had a lifelong relationship with the royals and chiefs and have enjoyed some amazing success in the last 10 years.
The way college sports has changed recently with NIL and transfer portal makes me not be as jealous of that relationship people have with their college sports teams.
The way college sports has changed recently with NIL and transfer portal makes me not be as jealous of that relationship people have with their college sports teams.
nirad3
Footballguy
Can confirm. Also - @DA RAIDERS
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