Van Dyman
Footballguy
Counterpoint: my wife left work to raise kids, and the kids still ended up having issues.
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Landlord of 20 years raising rent 50%, gave us 2 months notice. (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter El Floppo
- Start date
Zow
Footballguy
massraider
Footballguy
Zow
Footballguy
Pretty much. And they just recently got into legos, so soon I'll be posting from my podiatrist's office.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Bwahahahahahahhahahabaha
bigbottom
Footballguy
Yeah, I couldn’t resist.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Zow
Footballguy
The lesson to be learned here is that, by way of a certain reproductive fluid, quantity does not always equal quality!
Yeah, I couldn’t resist.
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
Have only read the first and last 2 pages, but have you considered offering the landlord some of your professional services in exchange for keeping the rent down (or cheaper even, depending on if he has more work)? Surely he's interested in updating some of his properties (like what you've done to yours) to increase their value. Maybe he'd be willing to work out some sort of deal.
Good luck GB EF.
Good luck GB EF.
bigbottom
Footballguy
The lesson to be learned here is that, by way of a certain reproductive fluid, quantity does not always equal quality!
Yeah, I couldn’t resist.
You know I love you brother!
General Malaise
Footballguy
Great suggestion!
General Malaise
Footballguy
Also, what are you selling? Maybe we could start an auction thread? I've never really been a scarf guy but I'm willing to try new things. I'm growing my hair out so what other awful looks can I incorporate into this?
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
I dumped all my kids legos on a buddy. Who like you, had a whole nother round of kids. He hates me a little now.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I have to put on reading glasses to pick them up now. Whatever my eyes don't find my fat feet will.
I started picking them up with a broom and a dust bin and dumping them in the trash when the twins weren't looking.
ignatiusjreilly
Footballguy
I can't speak to the post-Covid dynamics, but I think the basic arithmetic of NYC (and Manhattan in particular) will likely remain unchanged no matter what else happens: It's an island with a fixed amount of square footage, and there will always be people looking to move there. Hence prices will continue going up.
Also, Manhattan has always been a particularly difficult place to raise a family. There's a reason you see a lot of only children there. I don't know the details of Floppo's situation, so I won't speculate on his family in particular, but a lot of the families I've known who have managed to stay there long term were able to take advantage of some very fortuitous circumstances. For example, my wife's aunt and uncle raised two kids in a great apartment on the Upper East Side because they had like 30 years of rent stabilization. When the apartment finally hit the threshold and went to market price, they had to move out
The Z Machine
Footballguy
I don't normally reply to you and i didn't really read all your words, but i wanted to be clear that i was asking a genuine question here. I thought the same thing, that she should find some job that is off the books, but i really have no idea on where to search for such a thing. I was trying to gain some insight into an area where i have no experience.
Zow
Footballguy
Shark move in December: place the stupid "Elf on a Shelf" on your kids' most annoying toys.
It's the little victories that keep me going.
Galileo
Footballguy
Hey, hey...this is a family friendly board, guy.
General Malaise
Footballguy
tri-man 47
Footballguy
I wanted to suggest that @El Floppo and family move into @gianmarco 's attic, but between the #### bats and the risk of a tree falling on it ..probably not the best idea.
ChiefD
Footballguy
Oh, and @General Malaise doing some excellent work in here.
The Z Machine
Footballguy
My kids would love free legos. I'll pay shipping.
The Z Machine
Footballguy
i know one architect here in Baltimore and he's getting into design + build and owner/investor advising. It's there another field that's adjacent to the one where you're an expert and can offer advising services?
Could your wife start a side hustle of advising other parents about how to get their kids into elite NYC schools?
Could your wife start a side hustle of advising other parents about how to get their kids into elite NYC schools?
jvdesigns2002
Footballguy
I would absolutely recommend against this route. Let’s be objective here. For 20 years—the landlord has very generously charged the OP a huge discount for rent versus market value. Let’s not act like or treat them as if they are some sort of evil people. The odds are that the OP will never find another landlord in his lifetime that has been more generous than the current landlords have been to him and his family over a very long period of time. Threatening to make their lives miserable through the threat of eviction is not cool morally or karmically. You don’t threaten to hurt people that have been more than generous with your family over the course of many years just because they might not be in a position to volunteer the level of generosity that they were once able to. This is a problem that needs to be discussed with the landlord in a loving/appreciative and honest manner imo. My guess is that the landlord will make any concessions that they can if they are approached in a manner that is one of honesty and thankfulness. It’s not their obligation to offer up their property to a tenant for 50% of market value until the end of time. He’s at their mercy and I think his best bet is to honestly tell the landlord that, to thank them for their generosity throughout the years—and then to tell them the very hard position that he’s in—and to see if he can ask or negotiate for some flexibility. The moment you threaten somebody—their reaction is to be defensive. That is counterproductive to the best interest of the OP.
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Nick Vermeil
Footballguy
Get a load of this guy and his sane advice…
Dr. Octopus
Footballguy
Yeah, I do agree. I was just trying to give him options if desperate- but admittedly it’s not the way to live.
Dwayne Hoover
Footballguy
Im sure you have looked into it but kind of surprised that NYC doesnt have better rent control laws. Perhaps that's the case but still surprising.
Corporation
Angry Bovine
Nothing to add but to say sorry about your situation El Floppo and I hope you find a positive resolution soon.
dkp993
Footballguy
Shocked by this too. Cali has a 9% cap.
Dwayne Hoover
Footballguy
10% where I am, in Oakland. Feel like most cities do a lot with tenants rights so weird NYC does not
Why are you trashing his marriage?!?!
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
this is gonna really get you...some of the legos i gave him were mine as a kid. :boatloads: :mansion:
Dr. Octopus
Footballguy
There’s certain buildings or sections that are rent controlled.
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Anyone recommending OF is horrible. Everyone knows the real money is in selling jarred farts.
wilked
Footballguy
parasaurolophus
Footballguy
Sorry to hear this dude. Relocating is never fun.
Good suggestion but be careful. That 90 Day Fiancé woman who made a lot of money selling those ended up in the hospital.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Yeah, but she didn't need to put the jar THERE.
GordonGekko
Footballguy
The tea leaves to these kind of situations were evident by early 2020.
I'm not here to punish someone over hindsight, but there are objective lessons here for everyone. Yes, for Floppo, but for everyone else as well.
I'm not going to get political, but the context needs to be discussed in a cursory manner. The eviction moratorium got lifted. In the meanwhile, a lot of smaller Mom And Pop landlords and mid level landlords were taking some big hits. In NY, because I have strong ties to Brooklyn, it was clear the ERAP program there was going to progressively move towards shutting it's doors to people. So Floppo has to look at the practical landscape. He's not just looking for affordable housing in his area, he has to COMPETE for it. Against all the other people who are moving into town, people changing their living situation and other people who got evicted. He could easily be one of a thousand of those evicted in the past several months with similar tough luck situations and tough luck stories, and yes, even with young kids.
In hindsight, Floppo should have been planning his fall back strategy in 2020. But I want to be fair. The pandemic was very hard on parents. It was hard on kids. It was tough mentally and emotionally for people to have that level of pure life disruption. I am not unsympathetic to that. But as the head of his household and the primary bread winner, you have to keep assessing your next move. He got comfortable and was not in a position to be comfortable. But I can understand it on a human level. You are in a place for a long time, you are in a situation where you are left alone for a long time, so you start to feel like you own the place. But you don't own the place.
This becomes a cautionary tale for all of you here as well. You have to think about your next move. Always. You need a fall back plan. Always. You have to gauge threat around you, even when it's the hardest thing in the world to do because you are exhausted and worn down.
When I was homeless as a teenager, I had every right to be angry. My father would come home, drunk out of his mind, and beat me to a pulp. Until I grew too big to be beaten anymore. I committed two major crimes in his eyes. The first was that I had the gall to be born at all. The second was that I kept growing and could not longer be someone he could drag into the kitchen and use as a human punching bag. I was on the street because it was still better than being part of a massacre. Not just physically, but my sense of self. You can only take so many beatings in this life before you are broken for good.
An older Christian couple took me in. They gave me a home. But I wasn't immune to the practical logistics of the situation. They had no sons. They had no kids. The old man knew he would likely die before his wife. Part and parcel to this was the never spoken agreement that I would take care of his wife in her old age. Which I did. I carried her and her medical bills and the complex cost of her long term care the rest of her life. Don't get me wrong, these people saved my life. They were good people. But it wasn't altruism. And I was beholden. I had to work for the guy, and his business, and I had to work the hardest and longest of anyone. I couldn't refuse any request. The place I was staying was not my home. I had no future rights to the business nor the living situation. I could have gotten comfortable. I could have lied to myself and said "I'm basically just like a son" and carried expectations of blood family. But I didn't. Because I had to accept the hard reality over what I might want to feel about it. I couldn't get angry about working so hard and think I earned a right to a future in that family or that business. What I felt meant nothing. I've said this many times in this forum, and especially to @Otis - It doesn't matter how you feel. It only matters if you win.
The hardest lesson for Floppo right now is that he has to make the evaluation on if he has to do this alone. She says she won't budge, she won't move and she won't do "scut work". Tragically, that sounds like he's alone in my book. Some of you are offended that I'm bringing up the discussion of potential divorce. Either the wife will initiate it or that Floppo might come to a point where he will initiate it. What many of of you are not seeing is that these considerations are part and parcel about "Thinking About Your Next Move"
Part of being "dynamic" about your situation, is you have to make a honest assessment of all potential threats against you. All roads that you might have to take or others might take against you.
You don't move forward in life avoiding uncomfortable discussions. It can be with others, but the ones that really matter are the uncomfortable discussions that you have to have with yourself. When I was homeless, I had to have many uncomfortable discussions with myself and about my situation. I had to come to terms that no one was coming to save me. There was no fallback option in my path. I was going to make it, or I was going to die out there on the streets.
What did I do to help my cause? I got a notebook and set a schedule. Even if I was homeless, I made plans on how I was going to structure my time, how I was going to try to find work, on how I would use the limited resources I had. When that older couple took me in, it could have just been for a week. But I sat down with the husband and asked about my plans for the future. I pulled out that notebook. I talked about how I broke down my time, how I strategized on how to find food, how to find shelter, how to avoid the police, how to avoid getting into too many fights with other homeless people, how I was persistent in trying to improve my situation each and every day. What impressed him was my potential. Because that's all I had to offer then. The mere whiff of something greater could happen for me. I was homeless, but I didn't talk like the average homeless person. I didn't want to live like the average homeless person. No matter how bad things got, and they got very bad at times, I kept trying to effort the problems in front of me.
So how does that apply to Floppo? Attention to detail. I'm hearing him say a lot about his industry and the limits and what he can't get and what he can't do and what he hasn't been given. You can't think like that and move forward. Understand the point is to always move forward. Is Floppo in good shape? Is he working out? Working out helps your mood, your self esteem, your confidence, it helps you sleep better and handle stress better. If you go out there into the work force looking for opportunity, you need to accept the way this world works in terms of aesthetics. Be in the best shape possible. Present yourself in the best way possible. Put that best foot forward. If I have one shot at a really good opportunity, and it's a panel interview, I'm deep diving into the lives of the people who are going to make that decision. Where did they go to school. What do they like to eat. What hobbies do their kids have. What motivates them. What inspires them. People want to help you the most when they see a lot of themselves in you. When I was young, I had some opportunities where decision makers had to turn me down. There were better candidates and options at the time. But there were some that remembered me. I stood out, I made relentless effort to stand out from the crowd, so they could not forget me, so that when the next opportunity came forward, I would be first in line for it.
Doe Floppo have a firm handshake? Does he shine his shoes before the interview? Does he look people in the eye and make good eye contact? Does he have good posture? How does he carry himself? How does he project out in terms of dealing with disappointment? Is he a problem solver? How much did he dig to really understand the ins and outs of the companies he wants to work for out there? Is he constantly burning to stay on the cutting edge and up his portfolio and work book? Is he a good public speaker? Is he a good interview?
Attention to detail. You'd be surprised, and also not surprised, at how many people don't put in the time and effort to constantly improve their situation.
What's stopping Floppo right now from constantly and relentlessly working on his interview skills to be the best interview anyone has ever seen? What's stopping him from maximizing his current aesthetics and overall health to improve his chances? What's stopping him from putting in extra grind to cover all his bases and more to start creating more opportunities? Now his first response would be "You don't know how hard I've worked!" My response to that is you can always work harder, and when you are not outworking everyone else, someone you have to compete with is grinding away to take the opportunities that you want for yourself.
When I was homeless, I came to terms that I might only have one chance. That conversation, where I pulled out that dog earred notebook, that was when I was negotiating for my life. I needed a break, and it was likely if I didn't get one, I was going to die out in the cold. Conduct yourself in an impressive manner. Even if you don't have much to start with, you can constantly and relentlessly work on building up impressive attributes to offer the world. Then you leave an impression. One that lasts. One that carries with people even when you are not there. Then those people will want to help you in your journey.
Redwes25
Footballguy
Sorry to see this news and I wish @El Floppo the best. As a fellow NYC resident, it is tough to see folks who love the city get priced out of it and I have seen it happen for almost my entire adult life. Many good friends had to leave this great city due to costs. I hope you manage to find a way to stay in the city as it is a great place to live and raise kids even though people who don't live in NYC don't get it.
Not sure if I can really help as I don't have any real estate contacts to pass along and while I am a lawyer i don't know anything about NYC's complicated landlord tenant laws. Though I could ask around for advice on a good tenant lawyer though imagine that is an added cost you probably would want to avoid. Let me know if you need anything (including if you want someone to buy you a beer or two and watch a soccer game with).
Not sure if I can really help as I don't have any real estate contacts to pass along and while I am a lawyer i don't know anything about NYC's complicated landlord tenant laws. Though I could ask around for advice on a good tenant lawyer though imagine that is an added cost you probably would want to avoid. Let me know if you need anything (including if you want someone to buy you a beer or two and watch a soccer game with).
gianmarco
Footballguy
Uh, I'm also having landlord issues......TIA.
Much of what GG writes resonates with me. Especially the comments about inertia. I wish I had his professional mentoring decades ago. His comments may or may not be appropriate for Floppo, up to this point his situation has been great for his son and the rest of the family. And I hope something can be worked out for his family to stay where they are.
I think I was the first one to bring up his potential liability in case of divorce - I'm paying lifetime alimony in Florida, which is our standard for a 17+ year marriage. In NY the duration of alimony is a percentage of the number of years of marriage, around 30-40%. Those are practical reasons for many bread winners to not ever get a divorce, and perhaps not move to Florida. OTOH, whenever i go to the website thenextmiami.com, I see so much work for architects and interior design, maybe there is an opportunity for an increase in salary. Just from yesterday, a 450 unit 100% sold condo breaks ground, architects from Miami, interior designers from NYC. And $750 million in reservations for twin oceanfront 62 floor St. Regis towers in Sunny Isles, architects from Miami with offices in NYC, and Interior Designers from Brazil. So far, there seems to be little slowdown, although insiders may see it differently.
I think I was the first one to bring up his potential liability in case of divorce - I'm paying lifetime alimony in Florida, which is our standard for a 17+ year marriage. In NY the duration of alimony is a percentage of the number of years of marriage, around 30-40%. Those are practical reasons for many bread winners to not ever get a divorce, and perhaps not move to Florida. OTOH, whenever i go to the website thenextmiami.com, I see so much work for architects and interior design, maybe there is an opportunity for an increase in salary. Just from yesterday, a 450 unit 100% sold condo breaks ground, architects from Miami, interior designers from NYC. And $750 million in reservations for twin oceanfront 62 floor St. Regis towers in Sunny Isles, architects from Miami with offices in NYC, and Interior Designers from Brazil. So far, there seems to be little slowdown, although insiders may see it differently.
jwb
Footballguy
This entire post is excellent advice for anyone. I've been trying to drill this into the head of my nephews who are about to enter into adulthood - it's much harder now than it was, and you really need to stand out. You need to be better than the other guy, and also present yourself better. You need to be able to do things they can't do, even if it just means outworking them. And you can start outworking them in the interview process.
Drunken knight
Footballguy
Judge Smails
Footballguy
I hear you. But it’s totally valid to question why she won’t step up to to help mitigate the situation.
jwb
Footballguy
Yea, but man, some posters just mercilessly and nastily pounded this. It was unnecessary. Floppo tried to explain some details as to why his wife didn't just run out and sling burgers. And while I totally agree that at some point any non-work excuse isn't acceptable if it means moving when they don't want to, I don't think day one / day two is "some point".
