Marital Advice - Friendly camping trip too friendly? (2 Viewers)

[hotdogcollars]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

It's not confusing to you. You know this. I'd read Tdoss' post again. He nails it.

He's got most of it, but THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. That would be like the victim of a crime blaming themselves for letting it happen. Yeah, you might need to be more assertive, more active of a participant in your life. But someone else cheating on you is NOT your fault. If she punched you in the face and broke your nose would it be your fault? Hell no! So what if you got up and went to check on them. Then you would've seen her cheating. Then what? You're almost exactly where you are at now. If she was truly innocent of everything, she would not be avoiding the topic, she would be begging you to believe her and not letting it go til you did.ETA: confront her first and say "i will not let this go until we talk about it". Marriage counseling is just a quick way to throw away $100 an hour IMO.

 

[Chaka]

I like eggs.

 

[SuperJohn96]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

*sigh*

Here's the thing. After actually reading about the potential therapists, I felt pretty stupid. They seem to be dealing with some pretty hardcore stuff, and I felt like what I'm dealing with is pretty minor by camparison. I just wanted to a little affirmation on the decision to do this. Sorry. I guess it couldn't hurt no matter what.

I tend to think you may not need counseling. But I do think you need closure here. If it were me, I'd have a sit down with the wife, alone, no kids or distractions around....and I'd tell my wife point blank how this is tearing me up inside, and she is just blowing it off. I'd probably mention that this event could even be a marriage wrecker and see how seriously she wants to work this thing out. I'd hope that my wife would understand my feelings and try to get pass this obstacle. I'd think that more than likely nothing that serious happened, but even if something happened, I'd want to make sure that this situation never arose again and that we're both in this relationship for the long haul, meaning there will be no inappropriate behavior ever.

They absolutely need counselling for the simple fact that WIFE wants to bury her head in the sand and pretend like nothing happened.She's the one who screwed up (whoever badly) and she should be going out of her way to make him feel better about this.Since she refuses to do this, MITYH needs a 3rd party to help make WIFE aware of her actions, or inactions as it were.

 

[Mrs. BSR]

I don't think her not wanting to talk about it is because she doesn't care what his feelings are. I think she's ashamed of what happened and bringing it up is probably painful to her. I'm not saying she's right or anything but I am sure that is why she doesn't want to talk about it. Just sayin.

 

[Man in the yellow hat]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

If you've made it clear to her how much this affecting you, thats kinda cold of her.Have you made it clear?

I thought I did. But there's been so much going on with this it's hard to tell I guess.

 

[Gravity]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

Dude, if you think it will help you then do it.If you think its not necessary then skip it. Don't do it just to do it.Your wife felt some guys package while extremely drunk. Possibly flashed her boobs and may have allowed some boobage groping. You love her, you trust her, she made a mistake.Questions is how much does this bother you and how for do you take it?Me: I'd make it known that anything even close to something like this will end all trust in her and likely end the marriage and then leave it at that. I'd also stay away from steve for good.

 

[ArcticEdge]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

How's your sex life since the incident?

 

[Mrs. BSR]

Is she refusing to talk about it or are you saying she just doesn't bring it up herself?

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

 

[General Malaise]

I don't think her not wanting to talk about it is because she doesn't care what his feelings are. I think she's ashamed of what happened and bringing it up is probably painful to her. I'm not saying she's right or anything but I am sure that is why she doesn't want to talk about it. Just sayin.

I don't think she wants to talk about it because she's afraid the more they talk, the more he'll learn. One thing she did right after the fact that struck a chord - when he tried to bring it up again, she said "I thought we were done talking about this".To me, this sounds very suspect.And I think somebody else nailed this earlier when they said this whole thing has unearthed other issues. These other issues also need to be addressed or the next time this won't be just a drunken mishap. Chances are, therapy will do them both some good as ManHat will learn that his wife is acting out and getting precariously close to crossing some lines he won't forgive. Perhaps if he framed the conversation about going to a therapist in this manner (to help her resolve the feelings of being trapped and seeking outside attention), she would be more apt to go with him. Help me help you.Sadly, I think she's going to fight going because I think she is very fearful that this is going to turn into a crusade to find the truth of what went on. And it doesn't really have to be like that. ManHat can treat this gingerly, get her to go with him, assure her that the only crusade he is on is finding out how to make their marriage a happier one, not a crusade to punish her.

 

[General Malaise]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

Mother ####er...

 

[Mrs. BSR]

I don't think her not wanting to talk about it is because she doesn't care what his feelings are. I think she's ashamed of what happened and bringing it up is probably painful to her. I'm not saying she's right or anything but I am sure that is why she doesn't want to talk about it. Just sayin.

I don't think she wants to talk about it because she's afraid the more they talk, the more he'll learn. One thing she did right after the fact that struck a chord - when he tried to bring it up again, she said "I thought we were done talking about this".To me, this sounds very suspect.

Good point.

 

[Keerock]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

Mother ####er...

WTF!

 

[John Mamula]

lol shuke

gdb that movie

 

[Angry Beavers]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

WHOA!Do you think kids are better off growing up in a household where both Mom and Dad are miserable, but stay together for the kids; or two households in which both mom and dad are happy but not together? LAUNCH

 

[shuke]

lol shukegdb that movie

Movie?

 

[Birdie048]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

If you've made it clear to her how much this affecting you, thats kinda cold of her.Have you made it clear?

I thought I did. But there's been so much going on with this it's hard to tell I guess.

Even if you have expressed your need to obtain resolution on this and your current anxiety over the events, you must make it clear to her that it is imperative that you go to counseling together. Avoiding a wound is more likely to allow it to fester and grow worse. It needs to be "treated" now while the impact of treatment will be greatest and unnecessary pain avoided. FWIW: After discovering my wife's "extra marital" events, I went to counseling - alone for a while. Mostly for peace of mind and self assurance over what was the best thing to do. After she did not show up at the first 3 meetings, I stepped back from the relationship (stopped trying to save it) and had her move out. I feel good about my efforts to save it, but I could not do it alone. If she does not feel there is any problem, then tell her you have a problem and you need her help in resolving it. She helped create the problem and it is best if you work together to resolve it (professionally). Good luck!

 

[Limp Dogg Bizkits]

MITYH is playing this all wrong.

THe conversation should go something like this: "I know you don't want to talk about this anymore, and I agree that we should try to move on and put it behind us. I am really having a hard time with this and the more supportive and reassuring that you can be the better. I really need you to go above and beyond in order for me to get over this. How about you start with this "

 

[jpwest]

P.S.S. I dont blame you for not going to check on them. That is basically admitting to yourself your wife would cheat on you, which is almost as bad as her doing it.

I can't believe that in a 50-page thread, someone actually had a concept that no one has presented yet. You are the first person to take this point of view, I believe. I'm not sure I agree with it, but it is a compelling thought.

Yep, I have read each and every post ( ) and this is unique.

Actually, I brought this up in post #2793.

 

[General Malaise]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

WHOA!Do you think kids are better off growing up in a household where both Mom and Dad are miserable, but stay together for the kids; or two households in which both mom and dad are happy but not together? LAUNCH

I think the answer depends on the couple and the family. FWIW, I would not stay in a miserable marriage. I would, however, work hard to use the tools and resources out there to fix it and put it back on track before calling it quits and becoming a weekend dad. IMHO, the pain and loss I would personally feel by not being able to see my boys every single day and night would trump any hurt my wife could possibly inflict upon me. Not that she would. I've got a great wife and I'm lucky. But we've had rough spots in life and we got past them, due in no small part to the fact that neither one of us could stomach the thought of not giving our kids a full time mom AND dad. Even miserable marriages can be salvaged. I truly believe that. No, not all. There's a time and a place for divorce. Just my 2 cents I guess.

 

[Commish77]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

Not all kids with divorced parents have broken homes.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

lol shukegdb that movie

Movie?

I'd camp out for this.

 

[General Malaise]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

Not all kids with divorced parents have broken homes.

I agree. If my comments seemed to indicate that, I apologize for the blanket statement. I guess I was just trying to lend my personal views into this and wasn't paying attention to the fact that I could be painting broad strokes over a very delicate issue.

 

[Black Box]

I don't think her not wanting to talk about it is because she doesn't care what his feelings are. I think she's ashamed of what happened and bringing it up is probably painful to her. I'm not saying she's right or anything but I am sure that is why she doesn't want to talk about it. Just sayin.

I don't think she wants to talk about it because she's afraid the more they talk, the more he'll learn. One thing she did right after the fact that struck a chord - when he tried to bring it up again, she said "I thought we were done talking about this".To me, this sounds very suspect.And I think somebody else nailed this earlier when they said this whole thing has unearthed other issues. These other issues also need to be addressed or the next time this won't be just a drunken mishap. Chances are, therapy will do them both some good as ManHat will learn that his wife is acting out and getting precariously close to crossing some lines he won't forgive. Perhaps if he framed the conversation about going to a therapist in this manner (to help her resolve the feelings of being trapped and seeking outside attention), she would be more apt to go with him. Help me help you.Sadly, I think she's going to fight going because I think she is very fearful that this is going to turn into a crusade to find the truth of what went on. And it doesn't really have to be like that. ManHat can treat this gingerly, get her to go with him, assure her that the only crusade he is on is finding out how to make their marriage a happier one, not a crusade to punish her.

To take this a step further, he could even frame it as Mrs BSR puts it... "I know you are ashamed of what happened and it is painful, so we should see a counselor to help us work through it...". Basically, I agree with the sentiment to get your wife on your side, somehow, instead of fighting against her.

 

[Pick]

FWIW, most couples are actually more miserable after divorce than before. Divorce does not solve all the problems (many times it aggravates them). Richard Lucas did a study showing people recover more easily from the death of a spouse than divorce of a spouse. I've changed my stance and I feel parents should think of the kids first (who are its first victims). Family instability decreases parental investment. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache.

 

[Commish77]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

Not all kids with divorced parents have broken homes.

I agree. If my comments seemed to indicate that, I apologize for the blanket statement. I guess I was just trying to lend my personal views into this and wasn't paying attention to the fact that I could be painting broad strokes over a very delicate issue.

It's cool. No offense taken. I was just offering my opinion based on personal experiences as well.

 

[General Malaise]

am i 3000 yet?

 

[Chaka]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

Not all kids with divorced parents have broken homes.

I agree. If my comments seemed to indicate that, I apologize for the blanket statement. I guess I was just trying to lend my personal views into this and wasn't paying attention to the fact that I could be painting broad strokes over a very delicate issue.

Hasn't it been shown that there is no differences in children raised in 1 or 2 parent homes?

 

[Eagle Eye]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

If you've made it clear to her how much this affecting you, thats kinda cold of her.Have you made it clear?

I thought I did. But there's been so much going on with this it's hard to tell I guess.

If you're not sure the answer is no...you haven't made it clear. You wife needs to know how you feel about the situation and the way she responded to it. This time also make it clear that not talking about it is not an option.

 

[Chaka]

am i 3000 yet?

You deserve to be. I wonder how many people, other than you GM, will be sitting with open reply windows ready to pounce after #2999?

 

[flufhed]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

*sigh*

Here's the thing. After actually reading about the potential therapists, I felt pretty stupid. They seem to be dealing with some pretty hardcore stuff, and I felt like what I'm dealing with is pretty minor by camparison. I just wanted to a little affirmation on the decision to do this. Sorry. I guess it couldn't hurt no matter what.

Hey, don't apologize to me. The sigh was in response to the tone of your post above. You dish out two pretty heavy things, and then still have the aw shucks attitude. I think most of us in here rooting for you were really hoping this whole thing would be a wake up call for you. Not to change your personality, but just to be more assertive and take back some control in your life.Trust me, it can be done. I have been you (not with wifey issues, but other things). It takes work, but it can be done. At the very least go see a psychologist by yourself to work through some of these things.

 

[General Malaise]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

Not all kids with divorced parents have broken homes.

I agree. If my comments seemed to indicate that, I apologize for the blanket statement. I guess I was just trying to lend my personal views into this and wasn't paying attention to the fact that I could be painting broad strokes over a very delicate issue.

Hasn't it been shown that there is no differences in children raised in 1 or 2 parent homes?

I don't know. Maybe?I don't know if my kids would be damaged by a divorce. All I do know is that having to share custody and not seeing them every single day would tear me up. More than anything I can possibly imagine. Now maybe that's foolishness on my part since I have no experience with divorce (my parents married almost 40 years, grandparents were both married, etc), but I think what life would be like only getting to see my boys half of the week at best for the rest of their childhood life and it just eats me up. Would that be a broken home? I dunno. But I'm man enough to admit I'd have a broken heart if it ever came to that.

 

[(HULK)]

Has anyone suggested checking the phone records yet?

 

[Sweet J]

18 Years for me. Not worth it to me meaning: The agonizing. I know how I am and I am not as forgiving as some and to put 18 years in and and know something like this has happened where does that leave you? 18 years down the drain or what? I have contemplated this many times and cannot see me clearing it out of my head. Can you honestly say you could forgive truly and clear the slate?

Being cheated on would hurt, but I think losing my wife would hurt even more. Marriages weaker than ours have survived infidelity.

I'm willing to endure a lot of hurt if it saves my sons the hurt of growing up in a broken home.

WHOA!Do you think kids are better off growing up in a household where both Mom and Dad are miserable, but stay together for the kids; or two households in which both mom and dad are happy but not together? LAUNCH

I think the answer depends on the couple and the family. FWIW, I would not stay in a miserable marriage. I would, however, work hard to use the tools and resources out there to fix it and put it back on track before calling it quits and becoming a weekend dad. IMHO, the pain and loss I would personally feel by not being able to see my boys every single day and night would trump any hurt my wife could possibly inflict upon me. Not that she would. I've got a great wife and I'm lucky. But we've had rough spots in life and we got past them, due in no small part to the fact that neither one of us could stomach the thought of not giving our kids a full time mom AND dad. Even miserable marriages can be salvaged. I truly believe that. No, not all. There's a time and a place for divorce. Just my 2 cents I guess.

Pretty much what has kept our marriage from dissolving.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Even if you have expressed your need to obtain resolution on this and your current anxiety over the events, you must make it clear to her that it is imperative that you go to counseling together. Avoiding a wound is more likely to allow it to fester and grow worse. It needs to be "treated" now while the impact of treatment will be greatest and unnecessary pain avoided.

I don't think it is imperative that he go to counseling, at least yet. It really appears like nothing serious happened here. What is important is that he and his wife come to some kind of resolution and understanding of what this event has meant, and that he can hopefully still maintain some trust in her. If he can't do that, then counseling could be an option.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Has anyone suggested checking the phone records yet?

If he had listened to George to begin with, he wouldn't have to worry about phone records.

 

[wraith5]

Nothing really new to report here. Though my wife's behavior right now is confusing me a bit. She just doesn't seem interested in this coming back up again at all. She's just kind of going on like none of it matters at this point. That bothers me a bit.In any case, I started looking around for marriage counseling today. But, I felt kind of silly. Would you all recommend this as a next step?

If you've made it clear to her how much this affecting you, thats kinda cold of her.Have you made it clear?

I thought I did. But there's been so much going on with this it's hard to tell I guess.

If you're not sure the answer is no...you haven't made it clear. You wife needs to know how you feel about the situation and the way she responded to it. This time also make it clear that not talking about it is not an option.

How is she supposed to act? "Good morning, MitYH. Just so you know, I'm still really sorry about my alleged actions on the camping trip, and by the way I haven't touched another man's junk yet today." You gotta just move on - if counseling is in the cards, great. But regardless if you choose to stay around you can't hang this over her head on a daily basis. It sounds like the issue is more in your court than hers at this point. And FWIW, if you go to counseling, it isn't going to be about the bathroom incident. That's just a symptom. You have to address the actual problems in the marriage. GL

 

[Verbal Kint]

God, I was going to buy stock in this thread at page 6, but I got scared thinking it had already topped out and was due for a pull back.

 

[General Malaise]

God, I was going to buy stock in this thread at page 6, but I got scared thinking it had already topped out and was due for a pull back.

The chance to short it passed to.right now, we're just pink slips

 

[Peak]

Has anyone suggested checking the phone records yet?

ttp:

 

[Grainger]

2982

 

[JAA]

Here is your weekend update. What next?In a shocking twist (riiiiggghht) Steve and his wife did not make it to the wedding. It was actually a pretty good time. George was there, and I didn't learn anything new. He was the only guy there that was on the camping trip. But here's where it gets interesting.I was at my parents' house this afternoon, and Steve returned my call. My cell rang and I saw the ID, but I did not answer considering I was in the middle of a B day lunch (nephew and dad). He left a message saying he'd be around all day and to call him back. So, we drove the couple hours back home, and I dropped my wife and kids off at her parents while I went to 'unpack the car'. So, first thing I did was call Steve back. His four year old answers. Says her dad's outside, but I can talk to her mom. Sweet. So, Steve's wife gets on and we exchange hello's and chat a bit. Steve is outside mowing the lawn, but she stops him and give him the phone. Paraphrased below:Steve: Hey, what's up?Me: Well, the reason I'm calling is my wife says that your camping trip to the bathroom got a little bit out of control.Steve: Ah, well. I don't think it was out of control.Me: Oh, well, she filled me in on her version, so I'd like to hear from you what went down.Steve: Well, nothing really happened. Me: What was she doing in the stall with you?Steve: Oh, she was goofing around. Followed me in and stood behind me, then just kind of jokingly reached over when I was peeing. Nothing happened at all.Me: Well, that sounds like something. So, what happened after that?Steve: Nothing. Me: Did she take her cans out of her shirt or did you?Steve: I don't remember that happening at all.Me: Oh really? She was pretty sure she showed you her rack.Steve: I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. That didn't happen.Me: Oh. OK. Well, so she held your junk while you peed.Steve: Well, not really. She kind of got right behind me and pushed me a bit. Then leaned over and took a peak.Me: As I hear it, she was actually holding your junk, not just looking.Steve: No, I would remember that. She might've gotten a peak, but that's it.Me: Right, OK. She seems to remember things a bit differently.Steve: Dude, I swear. Nothing really went down. I didn't see her rack, and she didn't touch my junk.Me: Well, she's pretty freaked out and wants to hear what you have to say about it too.Steve: If anything would've happened, i would remember it.blah, blah, blah.....____________________________________________________So, now what. It's been confirmed that she was in the stall, and that she was standing pretty much directly pushed up against him from behind. He says she reached for his junk jokingly, but never touched it. There was no explanation given for the length of time it took to make it back to camp. I have not said a word to my wife about this yet. Interestingly, she has not said a word about this in about two days. I have barely talked to her, other than minror chit chat. That's tough during a two hour car ride. She seems like she got over her 'shock' of this pretty quick.Not sure what to do next.....

late to the party, im not going to read many of the responses but:Your wife doesnt feel the repercussions of her actions. She felt it was ok to get drunk and "cheat" on you because of how she felt about someone else. I have no problem with her having a crush on Steve, but acting on those actions, taking the chance to #### up her marriage is not ok. My guess is she feels you will always forgive her. She is in scared mode right now, but depending on how you handle the situation will depend on whether or not she will consider something like this in the future.Good luck

Did she REALLY even cheat? I mean, this sounds like a silly drunk woman stepping a touch over the line, but if we take the words of Steve at face value, they didn't kiss, they knew others were around, there was no junk grabbing as earlier speculated, there was no can exposure. It sounds like horseplay that wasn't good judgement, but was far far far away from a full blown affair.

GM: If you were in the bathroom stall with a woman for 15 minutes, what would transpire? We arent talking 3 minutes here, or event 7 minutes. I cant begin to imagine what would go on between 2 people in a bathroom stall for 15 minutes. Meaning, 15 minutes is a long time for NOTHING to happen.MITYH: as I mentioned to GM, 15 minutes is a long time. Try watching your watch for 15 minutes. Try reading the paper or drinking a cup of coffee for 15 minutes. Next, when was the last time you made out with your wife for 15 minutes? I have a serious issue with the length of time they were in the bathroom.

 

[(HULK)]

Has anyone suggested checking the phone records yet?

ttp:

 

[mr. furley]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

:(

Mother ####er...

jeebus shuke. stop.

 

[ChempickleregshukebaggerzillaT]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

Mother ####er...

jeebus shuke. stop.

:(

 

[mr. furley]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

Mother ####er...

jeebus shuke. stop.

Melly> hey :wave:

 

[General Malaise]

Here is your weekend update. What next?In a shocking twist (riiiiggghht) Steve and his wife did not make it to the wedding. It was actually a pretty good time. George was there, and I didn't learn anything new. He was the only guy there that was on the camping trip. But here's where it gets interesting.I was at my parents' house this afternoon, and Steve returned my call. My cell rang and I saw the ID, but I did not answer considering I was in the middle of a B day lunch (nephew and dad). He left a message saying he'd be around all day and to call him back. So, we drove the couple hours back home, and I dropped my wife and kids off at her parents while I went to 'unpack the car'. So, first thing I did was call Steve back. His four year old answers. Says her dad's outside, but I can talk to her mom. Sweet. So, Steve's wife gets on and we exchange hello's and chat a bit. Steve is outside mowing the lawn, but she stops him and give him the phone. Paraphrased below:Steve: Hey, what's up?Me: Well, the reason I'm calling is my wife says that your camping trip to the bathroom got a little bit out of control.Steve: Ah, well. I don't think it was out of control.Me: Oh, well, she filled me in on her version, so I'd like to hear from you what went down.Steve: Well, nothing really happened. Me: What was she doing in the stall with you?Steve: Oh, she was goofing around. Followed me in and stood behind me, then just kind of jokingly reached over when I was peeing. Nothing happened at all.Me: Well, that sounds like something. So, what happened after that?Steve: Nothing. Me: Did she take her cans out of her shirt or did you?Steve: I don't remember that happening at all.Me: Oh really? She was pretty sure she showed you her rack.Steve: I'm pretty sure I'd remember that. That didn't happen.Me: Oh. OK. Well, so she held your junk while you peed.Steve: Well, not really. She kind of got right behind me and pushed me a bit. Then leaned over and took a peak.Me: As I hear it, she was actually holding your junk, not just looking.Steve: No, I would remember that. She might've gotten a peak, but that's it.Me: Right, OK. She seems to remember things a bit differently.Steve: Dude, I swear. Nothing really went down. I didn't see her rack, and she didn't touch my junk.Me: Well, she's pretty freaked out and wants to hear what you have to say about it too.Steve: If anything would've happened, i would remember it.blah, blah, blah.....____________________________________________________So, now what. It's been confirmed that she was in the stall, and that she was standing pretty much directly pushed up against him from behind. He says she reached for his junk jokingly, but never touched it. There was no explanation given for the length of time it took to make it back to camp. I have not said a word to my wife about this yet. Interestingly, she has not said a word about this in about two days. I have barely talked to her, other than minror chit chat. That's tough during a two hour car ride. She seems like she got over her 'shock' of this pretty quick.Not sure what to do next.....

late to the party, im not going to read many of the responses but:Your wife doesnt feel the repercussions of her actions. She felt it was ok to get drunk and "cheat" on you because of how she felt about someone else. I have no problem with her having a crush on Steve, but acting on those actions, taking the chance to #### up her marriage is not ok. My guess is she feels you will always forgive her. She is in scared mode right now, but depending on how you handle the situation will depend on whether or not she will consider something like this in the future.Good luck

Did she REALLY even cheat? I mean, this sounds like a silly drunk woman stepping a touch over the line, but if we take the words of Steve at face value, they didn't kiss, they knew others were around, there was no junk grabbing as earlier speculated, there was no can exposure. It sounds like horseplay that wasn't good judgement, but was far far far away from a full blown affair.

GM: If you were in the bathroom stall with a woman for 15 minutes, what would transpire? We arent talking 3 minutes here, or event 7 minutes. I cant begin to imagine what would go on between 2 people in a bathroom stall for 15 minutes. Meaning, 15 minutes is a long time for NOTHING to happen.MITYH: as I mentioned to GM, 15 minutes is a long time. Try watching your watch for 15 minutes. Try reading the paper or drinking a cup of coffee for 15 minutes. Next, when was the last time you made out with your wife for 15 minutes? I have a serious issue with the length of time they were in the bathroom.

Maybe they took turns going doo doo?

 

[Alias]

this thread has turned into a post pad fest to 3k

 

[[icon]]

Seriously, can we get some mother ####ing pics in here or what?

Nevermind, I found it.

Mother ####er...

WTF!

 

[[icon]]

:confetti:

R.I.P. Rip