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So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

RokNRole said:
In my state I'm not able to interact with anyone on any meaningful level. I have too much on my mind that worries me to have a normal chit chat with anyone.
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This has been suggested before but go to an AA meeting. It doesn't cost anything but bring a dollar bill to throw in the hat they pass around for contributions.

If you go to large enough meeting, you won't feel that you are compelled to interact with anyone. They always have speakers sharing their personal experiences and many of them have issues with depression. If nothing else it will get you out of your apartment for a couple hours and perhaps will take your mind off your own problems.

Most of the longer meetings have a break in the middle where people can go outside and smoke (or at least they used to, I assume that still is the case). It would give you the opportunity to make some light chit-chat with people (which is optional) and some might give you their phone number asking to call them if you feel you need someone to talk to. If you go to the same meeting several times, you will start seeing some regulars making it more likely to engage in a conversation.

I am not saying this will be a solution to your problems or that it will even accomplish anything, but it beats doing nothing at all - which seems to be where you are at, at the moment.

 
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RokNRole said:
Nobody chooses to wallow in a mess. That's absurd. You obviously don't know what depression feels like. You had some serious problems in your life but it's apparent you were never clinically depressed.
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Yes, you are special and it keeps you warm.

Nobody knows, the troubles you've seen

Nobody knows your sorrows.

 
RokNRole said:
My confidence is completely gone so neither of these things is going to happen. I have no marketable skills to any employer and women don't date broke waiters.
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You can't see it, but in your current state of mind nearly all of your instinctive answers are the exact opposite of what you should do. 

Lots of great people in the suicide and depression threads. Life can be so much better than you can see right now. Take a step and quit saying it won't help. Trust us. 

 
squistion said:
This has been suggested before but go to an AA meeting. It doesn't cost anything but bring a dollar bill to throw in the hat they pass around for contributions.

If you go to large enough meeting, you won't feel that you are compelled to interact with anyone. They always have speakers sharing their personal experiences and many of them have issues with depression. If nothing else it will get you out of your apartment for a couple hours and perhaps will take your mind off your own problems.

Most of the longer meetings have a break in the middle where people can go outside and smoke (or at least they used to, I assume that still is the case). It would give you the opportunity to make some light chit-chat with people (which is optional) and some might give you their phone number asking to call them if you feel you need someone to talk to. If you go to the same meeting several times, you will start seeing some regulars making it more likely to engage in a conversation.

I am not saying this will be a solution to your problems or that it will even accomplish anything, but it beats doing nothing at all - which seems to be where you are at, at the moment.
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Have him take a vacation with you in your parent's basement Squizz.  Maybe you could use the company.

 
Johnny Rock said:
You can't see it, but in your current state of mind nearly all of your instinctive answers are the exact opposite of what you should do. 

Lots of great people in the suicide and depression threads. Life can be so much better than you can see right now. Take a step and quit saying it won't help. Trust us. 
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Why not post there, Rok? Surely there are people there that know better than an armchair shrink like me.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
You want me to ask the guys that mow my lawn?  Or go over to International Drive and ask the 50 bartenders from England and Ireland that work the pubs over there?  My guess is the majority of them do not have degrees.  At least not advanced degrees.  There may be a PhD or two in there making my Black Velvets or trimming my elaborate hedges, but probably not many.
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AHHHH...now it all makes sense.   Your thankless job, predictable relationship, mundane daily routine... it all starts here.  Change to a better spirit, my friend and unleash a life of excitement and adventure!!!

 
Galileo said:
AHHHH...now it all makes sense.   Your thankless job, predictable relationship, mundane daily routine... it all starts here.  Change to a better spirit, my friend and unleash a life of excitement and adventure!!!
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I rarely if ever go out there or have one, but I'm not talking about the cheap whiskey. It's a black and tan but with hard cider in place of Harp.

 
squistion said:
This has been suggested before but go to an AA meeting. It doesn't cost anything but bring a dollar bill to throw in the hat they pass around for contributions.

If you go to large enough meeting, you won't feel that you are compelled to interact with anyone. They always have speakers sharing their personal experiences and many of them have issues with depression. If nothing else it will get you out of your apartment for a couple hours and perhaps will take your mind off your own problems.

Most of the longer meetings have a break in the middle where people can go outside and smoke (or at least they used to, I assume that still is the case). It would give you the opportunity to make some light chit-chat with people (which is optional) and some might give you their phone number asking to call them if you feel you need someone to talk to. If you go to the same meeting several times, you will start seeing some regulars making it more likely to engage in a conversation.

I am not saying this will be a solution to your problems or that it will even accomplish anything, but it beats doing nothing at all - which seems to be where you are at, at the moment.
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One thing that Rok really needs is to find someone in person who cares. With AA you have a sponsor after a couple of meetings or so. This is the person you lean on, call at any hour any day of the week when you need a friend. These people have been where you are so they fully understand what you are going through. This is where you not only get help with addictions but the opportunity to make at least one friend in your sponsor. How perfect is that?

 
I did a rough calculation today.  The government spends roughly $6 billion a year alone just in PTSD disability VA checks, not including any additional medical expenses, counseling, etc. That number is only the disability people draw from it every month. 

 
CurlyNight said:
One thing that Rok really needs is to find someone in person who cares. With AA you have a sponsor after a couple of meetings or so. This is the person you lean on, call at any hour any day of the week when you need a friend. These people have been where you are so they fully understand what you are going through. This is where you not only get help with addictions but the opportunity to make at least one friend in your sponsor. How perfect is that?
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It's appealing. I think about it a lot.

 
dschuler said:
I did a rough calculation today.  The government spends roughly $6 billion a year alone just in PTSD disability VA checks, not including any additional medical expenses, counseling, etc. That number is only the disability people draw from it every month. 
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I've never been in the military.

 
Quint said:
not trying to be a smartass, but i think the UK is much  like the US in terms of finding employment: not every job requires a degree. 
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also...ditch diggers rarely require/have degrees. but you're too ####### proud and arrogant for such talk.  WOE IS ME!!!!!!!!! 

i was just in the amalfi coast and the ridiculous villa below mine, was being built.  there were 9 guys working from 8am to 5pm, everyday except sunday.  they were toiling in the hot sun with virtually no modern tools. we were 340 rough hewn steps up from the road, with every step having a sloping incline of 2-4 feet between them.  basically straight up.  6 donkeys carried up all the cement, from the road, that they were working with every day.  one dude's job, was to take the donkeys up and down those steps all day.  he probably did 6000 steps a day.

half the other guys were building a native, rustic, stone retaining wall around 200' long.  the other half were mixing cement for the wall and and schlepping the rest of the cement to the roof, where they were finishing the roof.  they all seemed fairly happy and were working hard every day.  it was hot as balls and the work was brutally hard.  but there was a sense of accomplishment.

moral of the story:  do some hard work every single day and you might find some happiness/sense of satisfaction.  get down off your high horse and get to ####### work. something hard/challenging either physically or mentally, or both.   literally, get to work.  and while you're at it, you'll work on yourself without even trying.  they go hand in hand.  

or, stick with the woe is me bull #### and wallow.  your choice.

 
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Getzlaf15 said:
Go to the bank and given them $300 and get a secured credit card.  I helped a dozen families with bad credit buy a home last year and this is where we start the credit repair process.

And EG is right, you have to change your mindset some how, some way to get out of your rut.

Wake up each morning and tell yourself one thing that you are grateful for. Doesn't matter what it is. just do it everyday. After years of doing this, I often do it 3 to 5 times a day now.  It helps a ton to see things from a non depressed state, even if it's just for seconds.  Things never get perfect, but they do get much, much better.  

Six years ago I had a failing business and 200k in debt. Today that's all gone and I've taken several vacations this year. It took hard work to get to this place, but if I can do it at 57, anyone can do it. 
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:goodposting:

Lots of great advice in this thread. 

 
Zow said:
If you need energy, meth really works.  It's a terrible, god awful idea, but you don't seem to like any of the good ideas. :shrug:  
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and even as a broke AF waiter, i could always score some blow.  and with the blow, come the ladies. :pickle:  

pro tip:  the uglier ones were easier and required less of your blow to take their clothes off.  win-win

 
belljr said:
I had mom's and aunts trying to hook me up with their daughters and nieces plus the other workers and customers.  God it was glorious
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yep.  and again, the uglier/fatter ones are easier

RokNRole said:
Maybe when you are 20. Not so much at 33
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wrong.  look to the host stand and the newer waitresses.  fish in a barrel  

 
RokNRole said:
I'm not looking for fish in a barrel I'm looking for a serious relationship.
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Don't.   You're not in a position to offer anyone a serious relationship.  What you have to offer right now is nothing but codependency.   Nothing wrong with some company and getting laid, but you really need to sort your #### out before you go trying to "relationship."    

 
RokNRole said:
When I have a day off I spend it in bed. I don't have energy to even throw out my garbage or put my plates in the dishwasher.
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Posting in the FFA? Watching porn? Binging Netflix? Taking online classes? Studying forums about making money or self improvement? Watching YouTube?

RokNRole said:
I don't think anything can help. My life should have never happened.
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:cry:  You are right, anything can't help. But something will. Maybe you find the nudge here, maybe somewhere else. Something will help though. Maybe your life shouldn't have happened, but it did. Now you have the choice to wallow or crawl.

RokNRole said:
If I was making enough money to live and pay off my debt and had a girlfriend I trusted I would feel better. Neither of them seems likely to happen.
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Refer to EG's post earlier today. Even with a house, a wife, a great job, a wicked sense of humor, things are not always rainbows and unicorns. Having no money, no relationships, no responsibility provides you with tremendous freedom. Debt? Worst case scenario let it charge off and in a few years it is like it never happened (minus student loans). If you put some effort into it you can work out a way to knock them out over x years. #### a house. #### a car note. #### a cubicle job. Based on your posts here none of that stuff would make you any happier. As for the girlfriend, improve yourself and you will attract a better one. I may be confusing you with another poster but is your girlfriend the one who had a baby with a stranger and moved to AZ? If so, she is a trashy POS and you can do better. If I am thinking of someone else then disregard. 

RokNRole said:
My confidence is completely gone so neither of these things is going to happen. I have no marketable skills to any employer and women don't date broke waiters.
Click to expand...
Read, exercise, interact with live humans, minimize screen time, quit drinking. This will 10x your confidence in 3 weeks. Even with marketable skills you don't sound like you'd be happy with an employer. Have you thought about learning skills that you could put towards your own business (sales, IT, online marketing)? Women most certainly date broke waiters. They don't marry them, but they date them.

RokNRole said:
It's a struggle just to get out of bed. It's a struggle just to even distract my mind from wanting to die every second of every day.That's what nobody is understanding.
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I feel you. Sometimes I hate getting up because that means I have the possibility of going and failing that day. You don't want to die every second of every day, you just don't want to feel the pain and hopelessness. The fact that you even post this stuff means you don't want to die.

RokNRole said:
I tried for years. They can't help me. Not in my economic bracket.
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Screw them. Most therapist are #### anyways. Especially ones that work with poor people. 

RokNRole said:
Maybe when you are 20. Not so much at 33
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33? You realize that if you got in shape and joined tinder you could be having sex with ladies aged 18-45? You realize that even if it took you a year to pull your head out of your ###, and another year to get your confidence back, and another year to find a job and get your finances headed in the right direction... you'd be 36? There are people everyday who have to start over at 40 or 50 or 60 and they are broke, alone, without a job or house, without a family, with some bad decisions and regrets under their belts. 

This is probably one of the better threads here at FBG because of the advice and stories that have been shared. Hopefully something connects with you. It has helped me, so thanks for that. 

I haven't read everything but it sounds like you are considering moving to UK with a chick? That is probably the dumbest thing you could do unless you have a biological child involved. Hopefully I misread something. 

 
-fish- said:
Don't.   You're not in a position to offer anyone a serious relationship.  What you have to offer right now is nothing but codependency.   Nothing wrong with some company and getting laid, but you really need to sort your #### out before you go trying to "relationship."    
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I don't see how taking on multiple sex partners, some of which I will get attached to, creep out and ultimately lose, will help anything right now.

I love women as much as any guy but I'm not stupid.

It would be a momentary confidence boost at best. Assuming anyone will sleep with a suicidal drunk which seems unlikely.

 
NFL2DF said:
Posting in the FFA? Watching porn? Binging Netflix? Taking online classes? Studying forums about making money or self improvement? Watching YouTube?

:cry:  You are right, anything can't help. But something will. Maybe you find the nudge here, maybe somewhere else. Something will help though. Maybe your life shouldn't have happened, but it did. Now you have the choice to wallow or crawl.

Refer to EG's post earlier today. Even with a house, a wife, a great job, a wicked sense of humor, things are not always rainbows and unicorns. Having no money, no relationships, no responsibility provides you with tremendous freedom. Debt? Worst case scenario let it charge off and in a few years it is like it never happened (minus student loans). If you put some effort into it you can work out a way to knock them out over x years. #### a house. #### a car note. #### a cubicle job. Based on your posts here none of that stuff would make you any happier. As for the girlfriend, improve yourself and you will attract a better one. I may be confusing you with another poster but is your girlfriend the one who had a baby with a stranger and moved to AZ? If so, she is a trashy POS and you can do better. If I am thinking of someone else then disregard. 

Read, exercise, interact with live humans, minimize screen time, quit drinking. This will 10x your confidence in 3 weeks. Even with marketable skills you don't sound like you'd be happy with an employer. Have you thought about learning skills that you could put towards your own business (sales, IT, online marketing)? Women most certainly date broke waiters. They don't marry them, but they date them.

I feel you. Sometimes I hate getting up because that means I have the possibility of going and failing that day. You don't want to die every second of every day, you just don't want to feel the pain and hopelessness. The fact that you even post this stuff means you don't want to die.

Screw them. Most therapist are #### anyways. Especially ones that work with poor people. 

33? You realize that if you got in shape and joined tinder you could be having sex with ladies aged 18-45? You realize that even if it took you a year to pull your head out of your ###, and another year to get your confidence back, and another year to find a job and get your finances headed in the right direction... you'd be 36? There are people everyday who have to start over at 40 or 50 or 60 and they are broke, alone, without a job or house, without a family, with some bad decisions and regrets under their belts. 

This is probably one of the better threads here at FBG because of the advice and stories that have been shared. Hopefully something connects with you. It has helped me, so thanks for that. 

I haven't read everything but it sounds like you are considering moving to UK with a chick? That is probably the dumbest thing you could do unless you have a biological child involved. Hopefully I misread something. 
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This would be a perfect world. Were I able to do these things I wouldn't be where I am now.

 
We really should have assisted suicide available to the mentally ill. The thinking is " they are mentally ill and can't consent to it".

BS. 15, 20,25, 30+ years of pain you can consent as well as anyone. Forcing people to inject drugs and/or drink to die. Causing more pain and medical bills.

How does this help evolution and progress?

Seems like it doesn't. Forcing the polluted to live and infect the world around them. Once again forcing them to feel worse because they leave a wake of misery and pain. This doesn't seem humane to me.

 
Binky The Doormat said:
Have him take a vacation with you in your parent's basement Squizz.  Maybe you could use the company.
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An uncalled for and mean-spirited response when I was trying to offer someone what might be helpful information.

 
  Good luck dude. You won't listen to anyone's advice in here, where you couldn't be more safe and anonymous.   not sure why you're posting in here at all, other than to get attention  

I'm out

 
DA RAIDERS said:
Upper tier really. 
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You are very likely correct.

Trolling doesn't begin or end online. When you realize you have been trolling the planet since you were able to write your name, then it gets weird.

When you realize you are playing games in your own mind and everyone was just cannon fodder. It's disgraceful.

 
Sometimes all you have to look forward to is to be enshrined as a "cautionary tale". It's not much but it's something.

Im obviously heavily wasted .....but.

My writing stinks. I can still draw reasonably well. I drew E.G.s Ace Frehley story I just haven't completed and released it. I may have to learn to ink with brushes and fountain pens for economic purposes but in that time I can draw several strips in different styles and the FFA could produce a collection of real drunk/partying stories.

it can be called "cautionary tales"

I bet it would sell a lot.

 
I apologize for every post in this thread.

I am a troll. I see it now.I bring nothing to the table unless anger is a virtue in some strange universe. 

100+ pages. I'm very sick to go that far.

 
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