Steven Mann
Footballguy
STEVEN MANN'S WHO TO ADD/WHO TO DROP… AND WHY YOU MAY HAVE THE FANTASY FOOTBALL I.Q. OF A BUTTER DISH.
WEEK 3: If any or all of these players are currently on your roster you may in fact have the fantasy football I.Q. of a butter dish
DROP/DITCH/DROWN/DISCARD
Problem: JOE HORN
Let's be honest, there are a few things I believe will happen before Joe Horn puts up 1000 yards and 7 TD's again.
1) Russia will test a multi-head missile that contains nothing but shrapnel and progesterone.
2) I'll look at my wife and say "Yes Honey Sunday is a great day to do family stuff"
3) Al Jazeera will be airing re-runs of Full House during sweeps.
I promise you that at least one of the above will happen before Old Joe has any Fantasy Value again. As of this moment I don't even see the 'odd' big game happening. Also keep in mind that I am also aware that ATL just signed Leftwich. Needless to say there will be an instant comfort zone for Big Byron, as he is quite used to having nothing to throw at. Drop Joe ASAP and don't look back. If you really have a thing for old brittle receivers call your Aunt Kafka, she misses you and it would be a great way for you both to spend time together.
Solution: Drop
Problem: DEREK ANDERSON
HOLY #####! 5 TD's sure go a long way in the fantasy world don't they. I can't understand why all the others are saying 'Add' this guy. I wouldn't touch 'em with a flaming javelin. I'd rather have 'Louie' Anderson taking snaps! Stay away my friends. And for those of you that already had him on your squad before the 5 td's? Shame on you!!!! If you have no better option at QB other than Derek Anderson you should really try a NASCAR Pool. Pssst..Pick the dude in the car!
Solution: DISCARD
Problem: TARVARIS JACKSON
This guy was actually drafted in my league this year. The dude in my league said "He's gonna run for 0ver 500 yards" Now that's some great incentive. 500 yards rushing 3 td's and 95 yards on the year. Where do I sign? If Vince young is a Porsche then Tarvaris is a Hybrid Skateboard. This guy is total train wreck. Even as your 3rd QB, you are wasting a roster spot. I'd rather add the Houston D this week (next week vs. ATL) than have this guy wasting valuable bench space.
Solution: DROWN
Problem: TATUM BELL
This was trouble from day one. It's crazy that in almost every mock draft Bell was going before Jones. How many Bell owners are wishing that they had Jones instead. I understand that going into the year nobody knew if Jones was going on the Pup List. I must be honest; I would have taken Kevin Jones Before Tatum even if he were on Schindler's List. Tatum Bell couldn't even hold off a FB last year in Denver. Say ba-bye to Tatum Bell. Or better yet try and deal him to the guy who came to the draft with the '04 draft guide. Ya know the dude who drafted Eric Moulds in round 3. The guy who still thinks Lee Suggs has unlimited upside. Whatever you do make sure Tatum Bell is gone By dawn.
Solution: Ditch
Please see the toll free number that appears under my life and give generously.
S.Mann
WEEK 3: If any or all of these players are currently on your roster you may in fact have the fantasy football I.Q. of a butter dish
DROP/DITCH/DROWN/DISCARD
Problem: JOE HORN
Let's be honest, there are a few things I believe will happen before Joe Horn puts up 1000 yards and 7 TD's again.
1) Russia will test a multi-head missile that contains nothing but shrapnel and progesterone.
2) I'll look at my wife and say "Yes Honey Sunday is a great day to do family stuff"
3) Al Jazeera will be airing re-runs of Full House during sweeps.
I promise you that at least one of the above will happen before Old Joe has any Fantasy Value again. As of this moment I don't even see the 'odd' big game happening. Also keep in mind that I am also aware that ATL just signed Leftwich. Needless to say there will be an instant comfort zone for Big Byron, as he is quite used to having nothing to throw at. Drop Joe ASAP and don't look back. If you really have a thing for old brittle receivers call your Aunt Kafka, she misses you and it would be a great way for you both to spend time together.
Solution: Drop
Problem: DEREK ANDERSON
HOLY #####! 5 TD's sure go a long way in the fantasy world don't they. I can't understand why all the others are saying 'Add' this guy. I wouldn't touch 'em with a flaming javelin. I'd rather have 'Louie' Anderson taking snaps! Stay away my friends. And for those of you that already had him on your squad before the 5 td's? Shame on you!!!! If you have no better option at QB other than Derek Anderson you should really try a NASCAR Pool. Pssst..Pick the dude in the car!
Solution: DISCARD
Problem: TARVARIS JACKSON
This guy was actually drafted in my league this year. The dude in my league said "He's gonna run for 0ver 500 yards" Now that's some great incentive. 500 yards rushing 3 td's and 95 yards on the year. Where do I sign? If Vince young is a Porsche then Tarvaris is a Hybrid Skateboard. This guy is total train wreck. Even as your 3rd QB, you are wasting a roster spot. I'd rather add the Houston D this week (next week vs. ATL) than have this guy wasting valuable bench space.
Solution: DROWN
Problem: TATUM BELL
This was trouble from day one. It's crazy that in almost every mock draft Bell was going before Jones. How many Bell owners are wishing that they had Jones instead. I understand that going into the year nobody knew if Jones was going on the Pup List. I must be honest; I would have taken Kevin Jones Before Tatum even if he were on Schindler's List. Tatum Bell couldn't even hold off a FB last year in Denver. Say ba-bye to Tatum Bell. Or better yet try and deal him to the guy who came to the draft with the '04 draft guide. Ya know the dude who drafted Eric Moulds in round 3. The guy who still thinks Lee Suggs has unlimited upside. Whatever you do make sure Tatum Bell is gone By dawn.
Solution: Ditch
Please see the toll free number that appears under my life and give generously.
S.Mann
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