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The Tree Saga (1 Viewer)

The Commish said:
I'm guessing it'd be about $2K to remove that tree up there.  It would be about $500 here to cut it down and haul it away.  Anything more than $2K and you're getting bent over, no lube.
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If there were nothing under it and you could just take a chainsaw to the base and "timber", you'd be right.  With power lines and other smaller trees and a hedge (and whatever is on the other side of that hedge that we can't see) it's going to be multiples of that.

 
You need to make the tree fall on it's own.  Here are a few options,

-raise a termite farm then unleash them on the tree.

-run a water hose /pipe under ground and loosen the soil at the base of the tree

-drill holes in the tree and fill with stump removing chemical.  You may want to strategically do this at stress points that may drop the large limbs.

 
matttyl said:
If there were nothing under it and you could just take a chainsaw to the base and "timber", you'd be right.  With power lines and other smaller trees and a hedge (and whatever is on the other side of that hedge that we can't see) it's going to be multiples of that.
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Multiples of the $2k or the $500?  Unfortunately, I have become very familiar with trees and what they cost around here.  We had approx 22 tons worth removed from our house just this last year.  Two cranes and a convey of equipment to get it off the house and out of the yard......$6k.  Then the real work began.  If he's paying multiples of $2k up there under any circumstance you list, he's getting the lubeless job for sure.

 
The Commish said:
Multiples of the $2k or the $500?  Unfortunately, I have become very familiar with trees and what they cost around here.  We had approx 22 tons worth removed from our house just this last year.  Two cranes and a convey of equipment to get it off the house and out of the yard......$6k.  Then the real work began.  If he's paying multiples of $2k up there under any circumstance you list, he's getting the lubeless job for sure.
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He's in Long Island, so automatically double whatever the amount would be in bumble#### SC.

 
The Commish said:
Multiples of the $2k or the $500?  Unfortunately, I have become very familiar with trees and what they cost around here.  We had approx 22 tons worth removed from our house just this last year.  Two cranes and a convey of equipment to get it off the house and out of the yard......$6k.  Then the real work began.  If he's paying multiples of $2k up there under any circumstance you list, he's getting the lubeless job for sure.
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My guess was $8k, but I'm sure I'm over shooting it.  Just depends on the equipment needed and how carefully (due to the power lines and what may be directly under the tree) they have to take it down. 

My grandmother in Northern Jersey (where everything is damn expensive) had to remove a tree a few years back that was sitting a few inches away from a split rail fence surrounding a pool.  They needed 2 climbers, lots of rope, and had to do it one small piece at a time and rope each piece down so it didn't hit the fence, or worse land on the pool concrete/tile and break it.  That was over $5k.  They had it done when much of the family were up visiting, so my dad, uncle and I sat on the back porch and drank beers while the guys were doing it.  Took them a day and a half.  And they still dropped a big log that landed directly on the fence so a section of it had to be replaced. 

 
johnnycakes said:
Sorry, Oats.  I didn't know you lived next door to the Munsters. 
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That would be sweet.  Once you get past the looks Herman is an affable fellow and would be a loyal friend, and handy with the heavy lifting.  Marilyn, well, 'nough said.  Spot, well as long as he stays in his yard he is no worse than a pit bull.

 
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I can't believe no one has pointed out the leprechaun in the tree playing the flute.  You can see him better in the 2nd pic.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Bring a sleeping bag and camp out on her porch.
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oooooh look at me mr fancy i own a sleeping bag well hey brohan not all of us are members of the ruling wicker elite so here you could also save a buck or two and just curl up under some sweet cardboard from the dumpster out behind the 711 down the the block just think about it you stay warm it soaks up any urine you might have and it is recycling and saving the universe so bam another riddle solved by the old swcer take that to the bank bromigos 

 
How is Otis holding up? Stay strong, brother. You've got the entire FFA with you. STAY STRONG. #OTISSTRONG

 
chet said:
Nice back pedaling from your original post.  Even then, he's tried that approach with his wife's note.  Someone that Otis knows knows how to contact the little old lady or someone in her family--that is the correct approach until she proves to be an unreasonable person.  

PS: Where I come from, both judgement and judgment are correct. 
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I was being facetious with the "nasty legal stuff."  

 
Otis said:
All my neighbors are on my side.  They desperately want the tree down, and think it's BS that the lady hasn't even given us a response.  I'm not really concerned about that.

And by the way, the letter I'm contemplating is not a "demand" letter or any threat of legal action.  It's a nice letter, just like the note, but a bit more formal, making a record, and sending it in the mail with the hopes she'll receive it and respond to it.  I wouldn't go the woz route.  But I also would like to put her on notice that, at a minimum, if she doesn't get back to us and doesn't agree to take the tree down, I'm going to be taking down the branches hanging over the yard.  I don't want her freaking out that we didn't inform her about that.  
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Right.  Nothing like that, "please do X, but if you don't I'm going to do Y" letter that I suggested. :coffee:

 
Hire a homeless guy to roll naked in tar and then leaves, and then have him climb into the tree every night just after dusk, screaming bloody murder at her house, but fleeing before the cops arrive. Three or four nights of that and she will eliminate his "roost".

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Hire a homeless guy to roll naked in tar and then leaves, and then have him climb into the tree every night just after dusk, screaming bloody murder at her house, but fleeing before the cops arrive. Three or four nights of that and she will eliminate his "roost".
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brotarski i am totally down with this and i am a good climber and work cheap and hey afterwards i can hang out with oatman and have some brews it will be epic take that to the banks branch office bromigos 

 
Buzzbait said:
The Munsters might have been odd looking but were actually quite affable and would always answer their door and entertain guests. None of that going on here.
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Sure, the residents of 1313 Mockingbird Lane were affable, but as I now recall they may have had a few code violations go unattended to at their place.  

 
Since we are exchanging draft emails. Here is what I had prepared before seeing that incredibly sappy (heyoooo) love letter above:
 
***
 
Dear Mrs. Neighbor,
 
Greetings! My family and I are the neighbors at the back of your property (at GFY NOTEBOOKERS) -- we moved in back in September of 2014. I'm writing to ask about the tree in your yard, which has some large branches extending over our yard and over the power lines running between our properties. The tree appears to be dead, and we have some concerns about safety and property damage issues should the tree, or large branches from the tree, eventually come down.
 
I had stopped by a few times in recent months hoping to introduce myself and discuss in person, but I must have missed you each time. My wife Mrs O followed up with a handwritten note left at your door a few weeks back. Since we hadn't heard from you yet, I wondered if maybe you didn't receive the note, and thought you would be more likely to receive a letter sent in the mail.
 
We're a bit concerned about the tree. To our untrained eye the tree looks to be dead, but we're bringing in an arborist to have a look and to confirm. Setting aesthetics aside, as far as we can tell, it poses a threat to both of our homes and families. We have some concerns about it coming down in a storm or otherwise, and either injuring our girls or other guests at our house or yours, or otherwise causing damage to our property. The tree also hangs perilously over the power lines below it, and with a transformer at the end of that span behind our garage, we have concern about the inconvenience of power outages -- or worse -- should the tree come down on those power lines.
 
As I mentioned, we've contacted an arborist to have a look at it and get his views. With the Spring and Summer months coming and more outdoor time ahead, we'd like to resolve the safety issue as best we can. We'll ask him for a couple of quotes: (1) first, a quote for taking down the tree entirely, should you be interested in going that route, and (2) a quote to simply cut back any of the limbs hanging over our property. As we mentioned in our note, we would be happy to contribute to or pick up entirely the cost of removing the tree, if that would be acceptable to you -- again, that would be our preference, and we think it's the best way to fully resolve the issues.
 
Please let us know when would be a convenient time to discuss. You can email us at:
YaddaYadda
 
Or, please feel free to call us anytime at yaddauadda (Oats) or yaddauadda (Mrs O).
 
If we don't hear from you in the coming weeks, we'll plan to move ahead with the basic pruning job, at least to take down the large limb that is hanging over our girls' playset. Of course, if you'd like to move forward with removing the tree entirely, please let us know -- we'd rather not incur the cost of the pruning job if we are going to eventually remove the tree anyway!
 
Thanks again for your time -- we look forward to hearing from you!
 
Thanks and best,
 
Otis and Family--Mrs O, OGirl1, & Ogirl2
 
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All of these letters are too long.

Hi again it's O-Dawg, 

Sorry to have missed you on two prior attempts. Again, we're concerned about the tree and have hired Fat Tony's Arborists to prune back the limbs that extend over our property. I'm sure you'll understand I need this taken care of to protect my family from potential injury. The work is being done on Monday. My phone number is 718-EAT-#### should you care to discuss.

All the best.

:bowtie:  

 
hey chethan my nifty neat new windows told me that biden just flew in to iraq to tell them all to simmer down now so hey if he can get over there for something that little i am pretty sure you can make a trip out to otislandia to solve this riddle hey brohan all i am saying is that if i had chet moolah you know this would be a pure case of bam another riddle solved by the old swcer instead of me just yelling at people on the internet take that to the bank that you probably own bromigo 

 
McGarnicle said:
All of these letters are too long.

Hi again it's O-Dawg, 

Sorry to have missed you on two prior attempts. Again, we're concerned about the tree and have hired Fat Tony's Arborists to prune back the limbs that extend over our property. I'm sure you'll understand I need this taken care of to protect my family from potential injury. The work is being done on Monday. My phone number is 718-EAT-#### should you care to discuss.

All the best.

:bowtie:  
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I'm  firmly in TEAMOTIS's camp, but this.

 
Lily:  Herman, it appears we have received a long letter from our neighbor in back of us. 

Herman:  Really, Lilly?  What do they have to say?

Lily:  It sounds like they want to take down that lovely dead tree in the back.  

Herman:  [stomping feet] No, no, no, no....  we have so many happy memories under that tree

Lily:  Well, the tree is on our property, Herman, and so it is ours to keep. 

 
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Otis said:
Since we are exchanging draft emails. Here is what I had prepared before seeing that incredibly sappy (heyoooo) love letter above:
 
***
 
Dear Mrs. Neighbor,
 
Greetings! My family and I are the your neighbors at the back of your property (at GFY NOTEBOOKERS) -- we moved in back in September of 2014. I'm writing to ask about the tree in your yard, which has some large branches extending over our yard, over our children's playset, and over the power lines running between our properties. The tree appears to be dead, and we have some causing my wife and I concerns about safety and property damage issues should when the tree, or large branches from the tree, eventually inevitably come down.
 
I had stopped by a few times in recent months hoping to introduce myself and discuss the matter with you in person. Regretably but I must have missed you each time. My wife, Mrs. O, followed up with a handwritten note left at your door a few weeks back. Since we hadn't  Having not heard from you yet, I we wondered if maybe you didn't receive the note, and thought you would be more likely to receive a letter sent in the mail and so we send this letter.
 
We're a bit concerned about the safety issues presented by the tree. To our untrained eye the tree looks to be dead, but we're bringing in an arborist to have a look and to confirm. Setting aesthetics aside, as far as we can tell, it poses a threat to both of our homes and families. We have some   substantial concerns about it coming down in a storm or otherwise, and either injuring our girls, or other guests at our house or yours, or otherwise causing damage to our property homes. The tree also hangs perilously over the power lines. below it, and   Additionally with a transformer at the end of that span behind our garage, we have concern about the inconvenience of power outages -- or worse -- should the tree come down on those power lines.
 
As I mentioned, we've contacted an arborist to have a look at it and get his views. With the Spring and Summer months coming and more outdoor time ahead, we'd like to resolve the safety issue.  as best we can. We'll ask him for a couple of quotes: (1) first, a quote for taking down the tree entirely, should you be interested in going that route, and (2) a quote to simply cut back any of the limbs hanging over our property. As we mentioned in our note, we would be happy to contribute to or pick up entirely the cost of removing the tree, if that would be acceptable to you -- again, that would be our preference, and we think it's the best way to fully resolve the issues.
 
Please let us know when would be a convenient time to discuss the matter. You can email us at:
YaddaYadda
 
Or, please feel free to call us anytime at yaddauadda (Oats) or yaddauadda (Mrs O).
 
If we don't hear from you in the coming weeks, we'll plan to move ahead with the basic pruning job, at least to take down  of the large limb that is hanging over our girls' playset. Of course, if you'd like to move forward with removing the tree entirely, please let us know -- we'd rather not incur the cost of the pruning job if we are going to eventually remove the tree anyway!
 
Thanks again for your time -- we look forward to hearing from you!
 
Thanks and best,
 
Otis and Family--Mrs O, OGirl1, & Ogirl2
Click to expand...

 
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McGarnicle said:
All of these letters are too long.

Hi again it's O-Dawg, 

Sorry to have missed you on two prior attempts. Again, we're concerned about the tree and have hired Fat Tony's Arborists to prune back the limbs that extend over our property. I'm sure you'll understand I need this taken care of to protect my family from potential injury. The work is being done on Monday. My phone number is 718-EAT-#### should you care to discuss.

All the best.

:bowtie:  
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:goodposting:   The lady has very limited time left on this Earth.  She might not even make it through reading all those words before kicking the bucket.

 
krista4 said:
:goodposting:   The lady has very limited time left on this Earth.  She might not even make it through reading all those words before kicking the bucket.
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That's one way to get there.  Whomever buys that house, job 1 will undoubtedly be removing the haunted tree.

 
It's too bad you can't buy human heads online. There's no warning more effective than a human head on a pike. 

 
Happenstance resolved this easily.

Had a guy by the house grinding some stumps out front this weekend.  Asked him if they did tree removal/pruning, and he indicated they do.  Good guy.  Asked him to come around back and give me a quote.  Explained the whole situation and the reasons I needed quoted for the whole tree and just the limbs.  He said he would walk around the block and look at it from that side and give me a quote.

He rang my doorbell about 20 minutes later.  Said she spoke to the woman, explained the whole situation and that we were concerned about safety issues with the kids, etc., and she agreed to allow us to take the tree down.  Said she was very nice, and she had received our note but just hand't had a chance to get back to us.  I almost hugged him.

Gave me a reasonable quote.  $1k to take the tree, another $200 to grind the stump.  I told him I definitely want to pay to have the stump ground out as well so she can plant etc.--just seemed like the right thing to do, and I want to keep up good relations with our neighbor out back. I quickly saddled up my 2yo in a stroller and went over to introduce myself.  Rang the doorbell, she was there.  Very pleasant conversation. She had just left a voicemail on my wife's phone, and was just off the phone with her daughter who confirmed we should proceed.  She had some concerns that we make sure not to ruin her lawn or property--he has to get some heavy equipment back there to do the job.  She also mentioned the tree did have some sentimental value, and that they had tried over the years to "cap it off" periodically, but this time it looks like it's finished.  Finally, she mentioned he was going to leave a stump there -- I told her absolutely not, and that I already advised him I would like to pay to have that ground.  When she mentioned the sentimental thing about the tree, I even offered to help her plant something else if she wants to put a new tree in its place (stolen from the thread here).

She said we can proceed whenever.  Very nice and reasonable conversation. Turns out she was less committed in the voicemail she left with my wife, I'm guessing she had some reservations but then called her daughter and her daughter convinced her that if some guy around the block is willing to pay for it, this was a no-brainer.

Tree guy tells me he should be back to do it in about 10 days.  Will post after pics assuming this happens.  Great result, happened incredibly easily, and the cost is less than I had expected.  Neighbors are all ecstatic.  

And all because I happened to speak to the guy who happened to be here that day and asked him to have a quick look...

 
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I gotta admit, I'm gonna miss that terrifying tree, kind of like Stockholm syndrome. 

 
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