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Unexpected Roommates (1 Viewer)

OP is going to drink in his house but make rule that SIL can't?

It's his house and for sure he can do that if he pleases but I can't see this one going over all that well.

If you don't want the SIL to drink in the house, you may have to lead by example.

 
'Jefferson the Caregiver said:
OP is going to drink in his house but make rule that SIL can't?It's his house and for sure he can do that if he pleases but I can't see this one going over all that well.If you don't want the SIL to drink in the house, you may have to lead by example.
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I drink in the home, but I save it for the weekends.She on the other hand, may have a hard time with waiting for the weekend.
 
'comfortably numb said:
'comfortably numb said:
What does your wife feel about the situation?Did your wife and her go out and party once in a while before this, or they barely saw each other?
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?
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Wife is upset with her sister and her reluctance to try and save her marriage.She's really worried about how this will affect the kids.We have both been out to drink with her sister......but lately her sister has a new group of friends that we've never met.
 
'Wrigley said:
'comfortably numb said:
'comfortably numb said:
What does your wife feel about the situation?Did your wife and her go out and party once in a while before this, or they barely saw each other?
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?
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Wife is upset with her sister and her reluctance to try and save her marriage.She's really worried about how this will affect the kids.We have both been out to drink with her sister......but lately her sister has a new group of friends that we've never met.
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How does your wife feel about her moving in?Happy to be able to help?Reluctantly willing to let her in?That's my sister, she can stay as long as she needs?
 
'Flying Elvis said:
'Leviathan said:
What's the crazy motor home thing in pic 2? Good luck with the hot SIL situation.
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Bears tailgate machine. Wrigley's the shiz!EDIT: The real question should be about the Smurfs . . . lol
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Hah, thanksSmurfs pic was from a Halloween scavenger hunt we went on a couple years ago. Ended winning costume part of the competition each of us winning $150CN: Wife is reluctantly welcoming in her sister. She has the kids in mind in doing so.If we could, I would be all for taking the kids in and leaving the sister out on the street.........just not going to happen.
 
'Flying Elvis said:
What a shock . . . the lazy and entitled chick is hot. Ground rules or she'll take your marriage down in the same fireball fashion. Absolutely have them hammered out w/the wifey so you're both on the same page when the time comes to boot the deadbeat.
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This.If SIL and her family don't leave at some point soon, your marriage will not be long for this world.
 
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.

 
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
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:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
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:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
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Maybe next time you come to Chi-town good buddy.
 
'Wrigley said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
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:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
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Maybe next time you come to Chi-town good buddy.
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Some of us already live in Chi-town.... ;)
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
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:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
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That's like the third incest reference in this thread. Kinda creepy.
 
'Hipple said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
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:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
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That's like the third incest reference in this thread. Kinda creepy.
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I thought she was adopted. :shrug:
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
'Hipple said:
'St. Louis Bob said:
'optionmaven said:
Tough situation and good luck. I would personally be especially nice with the kids. They'll remember that the rest of their lives. Be firm with sil but also show her compassion and empathy. Help her get that job that will get her out of their a.s.a.p. Let her drink and party their too, but tell her not to the point of excessiveness. You still have to be firm with her and set paramaters, but I would go high road and be the cool guy. If that isn't working after a few months, give subtle hints that it really is an imposition on you and your family and this can't be a long term solution.
Click to expand...
:goodposting: Well said.Also, please post pics of her making out with Mrs.Wrigley.
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That's like the third incest reference in this thread. Kinda creepy.
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I thought she was adopted. :shrug:
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Ahh the Woody Allen defense. Sure we're family, but it's not a blood relation.... :unsure:
 
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I don't see how this ends well. Seems like it would be better for you to help her find a cheaper place to rent, even if it costs you and the wife some money that you'll never get back. So with the divorce, does SIL have absolutely 0 income? Seems like some government assistance could help. Hopefully she'd realize how ####ty her situation is and be more motivated to get a job. Put me in the "you're just enabling her lazy, party lifestyle by letting her move in" camp.

 
'SuperAwesomeDude said:
Update?
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Little early, but..........The landlord showed up at her place today while she was picking up her kids. The landlord started moving her stuff out to the curb. SIL called my wife wanting us to go over(don't know what we can do) so we packed up our twins and headed over.Landlord and her boyfriend are in the garage moving things towards the curb when we pull up. My wife jumps out of the car and heads towards the garage. They both stop what they are doing and immediately start trying to intimidate my wife(HUGE MISTAKE) she's on the phone with 911 before they have a chance to finish what they are saying.Two squads and my SIL both show up. After a little yelling back and forth between my SIL and the Landlord/bf, the cops intervene. Cops inform LL/BF that they have no right entering the home and removing SIL's stuff. In fact they let them know it's a felony. They huff a little more, and leave after the police ask them not to come back.Turns out that's not the end of it. The police run my SILs info and find out she has an outstanding warrant for a traffic violation(crashed her husbands S4 into a parked car, and never went to court).......So off to jail she goes. My wife follows them to the police station, only to have her sister released into her custody after my wife pays the $575 fine. UggghhhLong story short, I spent the better part of my Sunday sweating my nuts off moving furniture for someone who can't keep her head screwed on straight. And they haven't even moved in yet.
 
'Wrigley said:
'SuperAwesomeDude said:
Update?
Click to expand...
Little early, but..........The landlord showed up at her place today while she was picking up her kids. The landlord started moving her stuff out to the curb. SIL called my wife wanting us to go over(don't know what we can do) so we packed up our twins and headed over.Landlord and her boyfriend are in the garage moving things towards the curb when we pull up. My wife jumps out of the car and heads towards the garage. They both stop what they are doing and immediately start trying to intimidate my wife(HUGE MISTAKE) she's on the phone with 911 before they have a chance to finish what they are saying.Two squads and my SIL both show up. After a little yelling back and forth between my SIL and the Landlord/bf, the cops intervene. Cops inform LL/BF that they have no right entering the home and removing SIL's stuff. In fact they let them know it's a felony. They huff a little more, and leave after the police ask them not to come back.Turns out that's not the end of it. The police run my SILs info and find out she has an outstanding warrant for a traffic violation(crashed her husbands S4 into a parked car, and never went to court).......So off to jail she goes. My wife follows them to the police station, only to have her sister released into her custody after my wife pays the $575 fine. UggghhhLong story short, I spent the better part of my Sunday sweating my nuts off moving furniture for someone who can't keep her head screwed on straight. And they haven't even moved in yet.
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Here we go.
 
I would seriously consider renting an apartment for her if there was any possible way to afford it, you cannot possibly have a drunk living with your children. I would also stress to you that you might want to make sure all the smoke detectors work in the house - nothing like a drunk, smoking in a basement apartment to create a really bad scenario; you might want to get a CO detector for the basement too, if someone is going to be living down there. The bright side is that she is good looking so she will probably hook up soon; the down side is that she'll probably leave the kids at your house when she does. I would really be looking forward to the first time she brings home one of her "dates", it sounds like she picks out winners.

 
'Wrigley said:
'SuperAwesomeDude said:
Update?
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Little early, but..........The landlord showed up at her place today while she was picking up her kids. The landlord started moving her stuff out to the curb. SIL called my wife wanting us to go over(don't know what we can do) so we packed up our twins and headed over.Landlord and her boyfriend are in the garage moving things towards the curb when we pull up. My wife jumps out of the car and heads towards the garage. They both stop what they are doing and immediately start trying to intimidate my wife(HUGE MISTAKE) she's on the phone with 911 before they have a chance to finish what they are saying.Two squads and my SIL both show up. After a little yelling back and forth between my SIL and the Landlord/bf, the cops intervene. Cops inform LL/BF that they have no right entering the home and removing SIL's stuff. In fact they let them know it's a felony. They huff a little more, and leave after the police ask them not to come back.Turns out that's not the end of it. The police run my SILs info and find out she has an outstanding warrant for a traffic violation(crashed her husbands S4 into a parked car, and never went to court).......So off to jail she goes. My wife follows them to the police station, only to have her sister released into her custody after my wife pays the $575 fine. UggghhhLong story short, I spent the better part of my Sunday sweating my nuts off moving furniture for someone who can't keep her head screwed on straight. And they haven't even moved in yet.
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That's a terrible start. Any Caged Heat action in the city jail?
 
'pittstownkiller said:
I would seriously consider renting an apartment for her if there was any possible way to afford it, you cannot possibly have a drunk living with your children. I would also stress to you that you might want to make sure all the smoke detectors work in the house - nothing like a drunk, smoking in a basement apartment to create a really bad scenario; you might want to get a CO detector for the basement too, if someone is going to be living down there. The bright side is that she is good looking so she will probably hook up soon; the down side is that she'll probably leave the kids at your house when she does. I would really be looking forward to the first time she brings home one of her "dates", it sounds like she picks out winners.
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My thoughts exactly, but good points beyond the bolded. Containment will be key here and the money you piss away on giving her, lets say 3 months to get her #### together, will be worth it to your family and your marriage. People have already mentioned boundaries being the key here, and I think that stands. She will likely lash out, so unfortunately this will have to come from your life. My suggestion if money is tight, keep her kids, look into a weekly rate at a hotel. Yes, she will party potentially, but tell her she has 90 days to get her #### together. But containment and isolation is the key here. Sell it to your wife as it being good for her kids first and foremost, give her a chance to get momentum without the distraction of the kids. Then I would push the angle of not putting bad habits on display for your kids, and if that doesn't work, It should be easy to convince based on todays drama.

You have to help her, but a lifeguard doesn't give you their arm, they give you the rescue float, or else you'll both go down.

 
Day 1 and you're already out $575. You'll never see that money again. This is a really sucky situation.

 
I can't beleive (well, I can, but still) that the BF and landlord thought you could actually just show up and move a tenant's stuff out. If that's how they think they want to play it you should just fight fire with fire. Tell her to hunker down and let the eviction process begin. At least that way you buy 6-12 months before you have to take the SIL in and deal with that particular portion of the headache.

'Jobber said:
Day 1 and you're already out $575. You'll never see that money again. This is a really sucky situation.
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It's not even day one yet. She hasn't moved in and it's already getting expensive.
 
Another red flag here is her landlord's behavior. You don't get your landlord doing this kind of thing unless you've really, really pissed him off and/or been a #######.

 
she hasn't even moved in, and you've already had a run-in with cops, aggressive landlords, and dropped $575 to bail her out of jail. I would say that things can only get better, but that might be a lie...

 
A woman does not just give up on husband and family without some strong reason.

I think there are drugs and/or cheating going on here on the SILs part.

 
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