Walking Away From Wedding.... UPDATE post #307 (1 Viewer)

[Exit 1]

Update?

What happened with the deposit?

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

 

[sports_fan]

Good luck man. Hope it works out for you.

 

[mr roboto]

GL ny, I hope you have a long and happy life with the new girl.

 

[Lehigh98]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

 

[Joe T]

Can I get a short summary of what was wrong with the girl you dumped?

 

[Scoresman]

can you please break the OP up into paragraphs? then I can read it and leave my comments. thx.

 

[beer 302]

Don't do it you fool!

 

[McGarnicle]

Wow, first time I've seen this thread. I went through the same thing 11 years ago. I was engaged to a woman for a lot of superficial reasons and wasn't in love with her. Wedding venue was booked by her parents, ring, dress bought, etc. And we bought a house together and a bunch of furniture and had a dog. In a 1-year stretch I got more strange on the side than I ever got as a single guy, and I started to live parallel lives. I'd go out with my friends on the weekends and act like a 25 year-old bachelor, and be domestic man with the fiancé and nice house the rest of the week.

Eventually called it off, to the surprise of exactly no one among my friends and family, but she and her family took it really hard and hated my guts. But they were all really weird in a Stepford Wives kind of way and I never once questioned the decision. It was a terrible fit from the beginning.

 

[Joe Summer]

Can I get a short summary of what was wrong with the girl you dumped?

Controlling #####.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

You poor, dumb son of a #####.

 

[Spin]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

 

[seahawk 17]

I applaud anyone for walking away if it doesn't feel right. I am going to be in a friends wedding in March, and he's making the biggest mistake of his life. He absolutely hates the woman (his words) but the wedding is booked, invitations sent, so on and so forth. She quit her job and moved from CA to OR and he feels obligated to go forth with the wedding.

She want's to start a family immediately, it's going to end bad.

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

I don't feel like I am the guy that needs to be in a relationship, but I've never given it thought. It's very easy to make the call after a 16 months of dating.

This chick is the one - it's absolutely the one. She is everything (to me) that the other one was not. Feels beyond right.

 

[nysportsfan]

I applaud anyone for walking away if it doesn't feel right. I am going to be in a friends wedding in March, and he's making the biggest mistake of his life. He absolutely hates the woman (his words) but the wedding is booked, invitations sent, so on and so forth. She quit her job and moved from CA to OR and he feels obligated to go forth with the wedding.

She want's to start a family immediately, it's going to end bad.

I know how he feels. For a while (read: years) it was easier to just lie to myself and keep going. "The next thing will make it better." So messed up.

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

You poor, dumb son of a #####.

Maybe, but I honestly feel this will be the best decision of my life.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

 

[zoonation]

marrying someone after a year is nuts. good luck though!

 

[Spin]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

I don't feel like I am the guy that needs to be in a relationship, but I've never given it thought.

This chick is the one - it's absolutely the one. She is everything (to me) that the other one was not. Feels beyond right.

Why the rush into an engagement already? You've known her for a year, what's the harm in dating for another year +?

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

I don't feel like I am the guy that needs to be in a relationship, but I've never given it thought.

This chick is the one - it's absolutely the one. She is everything (to me) that the other one was not. Feels beyond right.

Why the rush into an engagement already? You've known her for a year, what's the harm in dating for another year +?

Hard to explain, but easily the right call in my opinion. There will be another year/year and a half for the engagement, so we will have had plenty of time IMO.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

Not to be too much of a richard but if you're a self-described moron you might want to not rush into your next engagement.

 

[Spin]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

I don't feel like I am the guy that needs to be in a relationship, but I've never given it thought.

This chick is the one - it's absolutely the one. She is everything (to me) that the other one was not. Feels beyond right.

Why the rush into an engagement already? You've known her for a year, what's the harm in dating for another year +?

Hard to explain, but easily the right call in my opinion. There will be another year/year and a half for the engagement, so we will have had plenty of time IMO.

More power to ya, hope it works out. Just remember to keep your communications open and ### like rabbits every chance you get, you'll do fine.

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

Not to be too much of a richard but if you're a self-described moron you might want to not rush into your next engagement.

No offense taken at all.

I feel like I was a moron in the sense that I stayed unhappy for that long.

 

[nysportsfan]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

Honest question, are you the type of guy that NEEDS to be in a relationship? I don't get how you could know you were going to marry someone after only knowing them about a year. Why rush back into an engagement, no harm in dating for awhile longer and then maybe moving in with each other before getting married.

You remind me of my little brother. Dated this chick on and off for 5 years, called it off, less then a year later he's married to a girl he met a couple months after the breakup. They just moved into my spare bedroom, and I get to hear them argue all the time.

I don't feel like I am the guy that needs to be in a relationship, but I've never given it thought.

This chick is the one - it's absolutely the one. She is everything (to me) that the other one was not. Feels beyond right.

Why the rush into an engagement already? You've known her for a year, what's the harm in dating for another year +?

Hard to explain, but easily the right call in my opinion. There will be another year/year and a half for the engagement, so we will have had plenty of time IMO.

More power to ya, hope it works out. Just remember to keep your communications open and ### like rabbits every chance you get, you'll do fine.

Thanks, much appreciated. We talk more and have more fun than anyone I've ever been with. Sex life is damn good, too.

 

[Angry Beavers]

I applaud anyone for walking away if it doesn't feel right. I am going to be in a friends wedding in March, and he's making the biggest mistake of his life. He absolutely hates the woman (his words) but the wedding is booked, invitations sent, so on and so forth. She quit her job and moved from CA to OR and he feels obligated to go forth with the wedding.

She want's to start a family immediately, it's going to end bad.

Not to hijack, but as his friend you have to make certain he does not make it to the wedding. Get him bombed the night before and put him on a plane to the other side of the country so he cant make it back if need be, but under no circumstances should you let him go through with it.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Nysportsfan... Congrats and good luck.

 

[nysportsfan]

Nysportsfan... Congrats and good luck.

Thanks

 

[glock]

I applaud anyone for walking away if it doesn't feel right. I am going to be in a friends wedding in March, and he's making the biggest mistake of his life. He absolutely hates the woman (his words) but the wedding is booked, invitations sent, so on and so forth. She quit her job and moved from CA to OR and he feels obligated to go forth with the wedding.

She want's to start a family immediately, it's going to end bad.

Not to hijack, but as his friend you have to make certain he does not make it to the wedding. Get him bombed the night before and put him on a plane to the other side of the country so he cant make it back if need be, but under no circumstances should you let him go through with it.

Wish my pals had done this for me. (and I travel very little...)

 

[Hilts]

Out of sheer curiosity from a single guy, what's so nuts about marrying a girl after a year?

 

[Spin]

Out of sheer curiosity from a single guy, what's so nuts about marrying a girl after a year?

Are you willing to bet half your income that the girl you've known for less than a year will be the same 5 years down the road, 10 years, 35 years?

 

[rockaction]

Update 1 - I paid the wedding deposit back, paid her back for her dress, and lost about half on the engagement ring. All in all, lost a lot of money but it was the best decision of my life.

Update 2 - Been dating a girl for about a year or so and taking the plunge once again. I am going to ask her parents for permission and propose on her birthday in a couple of weeks. The difference in chemistry and my feelings is night and day. This is the chick I was meant to marry. Everything I feel was what I wish I felt at that time. I no longer feel dread but rather excitement. She treats me like a real person, I have friends again, etc.

How did you feel with girl #1 after the first year?

Are you comparing girl #2 to (girl #1 - year 6) or (girl #1 - year 1)?

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

Not to be too much of a richard but if you're a self-described moron you might want to not rush into your next engagement.

My brother came off of a horrible divorce and got married w/in a year and half. I thought it was the dumbest move of his life. Turns out, five years later, still strong and very happy. Hope it works for him.

(But I agree with you -- I can't fathom it).

Good luck, nysportsfan, I hope you're doing the right thing. Congrats also for having the balls to get out. I once had a girl move up from the South to be with me. We'd dated in college, and post-college, she thought she needed to be with me. Wasn't working. We did not mix well. Thankfully, I had to go back to school and found a wonderful new girlfriend, so I really get this. I think we're all grateful we didn't go through the motions and get married. I took her to a nice place once (this is after she moved to the boonies to be with me) and she actually said, "I was worried you were going to propose. That's a year or two off, you know."

Screech. You're done.

It's just...good for you.

 

[Hilts]

Out of sheer curiosity from a single guy, what's so nuts about marrying a girl after a year?

Are you willing to bet half your income that the girl you've known for less than a year will be the same 5 years down the road, 10 years, 35 years?

I'm not willing to take that gamble at this point in my life. Be it one year together or three.

 

[Tom Servo]

Out of sheer curiosity from a single guy, what's so nuts about marrying a girl after a year?

Are you willing to bet half your income that the girl you've known for less than a year will be the same 5 years down the road, 10 years, 35 years?

News flash: she's not going to be the same...if you're maturing and growing, neither are you.

 

[Ignoratio Elenchi]

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

We've been together for 6 years this Tuesday. For a while now something was wrong.

always thought she was the one even after a brief break up last spring.

This doesn't sound like a guy who knew six months in that it wasn't right. "For a while" means 5.5 years? You knew it wasn't right, yet even after breaking up ~5 years into the relationship (and inexplicably getting back together, if you knew it wasn't right), you still "thought she was the one?"

I haven't read the whole thread (well I think I did, but it was almost 2 years ago). But just juxtaposing your OP with this latest update, it reads like you freaked out when you got to your late 20s and faced the prospect of getting married to the only girl you'd dated for most of your adult life. Maybe girl #1 wasn't right for you, and it was a great decision to break it off, but that just emphasizes the point that you shouldn't rush into marrying girl #2 after dating for a year. You took the incredibly hard step of breaking up with girl #1 because you didn't want to end up going through with a marriage you thought you might later regret. Don't let that lesson be lost on you.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Is this a common thing? A friend of mine broke off an engagement and was married to another chick in like 18 months. They've got a kid now, probably been together 3 years. I don't know him that well so I have no idea how their relationship is going.

 

[Ignoratio Elenchi]

I know I have issues, and I need to fix me before committing again. And trust me, I know because I'm a counselor that does not excuse me from therapy. I did go through it as part of my training. And I am considering going after this...

You can say what you want, and I respect it, but I'm not going to try and run to another chick. It's about me, not her. It's about doing what's right for me.

Did you end up going to counseling?

 

[Sarnoff]

I applaud anyone for walking away if it doesn't feel right. I am going to be in a friends wedding in March, and he's making the biggest mistake of his life. He absolutely hates the woman (his words) but the wedding is booked, invitations sent, so on and so forth. She quit her job and moved from CA to OR and he feels obligated to go forth with the wedding.

She want's to start a family immediately, it's going to end bad.

Please get him an account on here. I'm going to need regular updates.

 

[rockaction]

Is this a common thing? A friend of mine broke off an engagement and was married to another chick in like 18 months. They've got a kid now, probably been together 3 years. I don't know him that well so I have no idea how their relationship is going.

Yes. And the mature women I've asked about it (fifty-plus), and have been through a bunch in life, or at least seen it, have talked about common wisdom differences between men and women. Men always seek out re-establishment quicker, they say. And as I get older, I think they're right. I've watched my brother, cousins, friends, etc. It's all anecdotal, but

 

[nysportsfan]

I knew after 6 months of dating girl 1 that it wasn't right. I stayed 5.5 more years because I'm an #######/moron.

We've been together for 6 years this Tuesday. For a while now something was wrong.

always thought she was the one even after a brief break up last spring.

This doesn't sound like a guy who knew six months in that it wasn't right. "For a while" means 5.5 years? You knew it wasn't right, yet even after breaking up ~5 years into the relationship (and inexplicably getting back together, if you knew it wasn't right), you still "thought she was the one?"

I haven't read the whole thread (well I think I did, but it was almost 2 years ago). But just juxtaposing your OP with this latest update, it reads like you freaked out when you got to your late 20s and faced the prospect of getting married to the only girl you'd dated for most of your adult life. Maybe girl #1 wasn't right for you, and it was a great decision to break it off, but that just emphasizes the point that you shouldn't rush into marrying girl #2 after dating for a year. You took the incredibly hard step of breaking up with girl #1 because you didn't want to end up going through with a marriage you thought you might later regret. Don't let that lesson be lost on you.

I was lying to myself even when I broke it off. I was miserable, lost touch with my friends, my brothers, all because she was controlling. I was not happy for a LONG time. Honestly, I never thought she was the one. Although I never cheated, I was single way before I was single, if that makes sense.

I know I am not rushing into it, but I can and do appreciate the advice. Breaking it off was the hardest thing I've had to do. Looking back, I realize that and it's not lost on me at all.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Your soon to be fiancee is cheating on you.

 

[nysportsfan]

Did you end up going to counseling?

After the break up I did go to counseling for a bit.

 

[nysportsfan]

Your soon to be fiancee is cheating on you.

Wouldn't that be a kick in the nuts.

 

[Sarnoff]

Your soon to be fiancee is cheating on you.

Wouldn't that be a kick in the nuts.

Nowhere else to put this, but I heard the craziest story yesterday about this dude who went back home for his 20 year high school reunion. He got picked on and bullied a lot in school, but really grew up into a successful dude. Lost a ton of weight, was good-looking, got rich, got a beautiful girlfriend and took her with him to the reunion to show off. His high school's biggest bully was there. The bully had gotten even better looking, got richer, and before the weekend was over the dude's girlfriend cheated on him with the bully.

 

[rockaction]

Your soon to be fiancee is cheating on you.

Wouldn't that be a kick in the nuts.

Nowhere else to put this, but I heard the craziest story yesterday about this dude who went back home for his 20 year high school reunion. He got picked on and bullied a lot in school, but really grew up into a successful dude. Lost a ton of weight, was good-looking, got rich, got a beautiful girlfriend and took her with him to the reunion to show off. His high school's biggest bully was there. The bully had gotten even better looking, got richer, and before the weekend was over the dude's girlfriend cheated on him with the bully.

Please, because too-cool snark rules the day.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Your soon to be fiancee is cheating on you.

Wouldn't that be a kick in the nuts.

Nowhere else to put this, but I heard the craziest story yesterday about this dude who went back home for his 20 year high school reunion. He got picked on and bullied a lot in school, but really grew up into a successful dude. Lost a ton of weight, was good-looking, got rich, got a beautiful girlfriend and took her with him to the reunion to show off. His high school's biggest bully was there. The bully had gotten even better looking, got richer, and before the weekend was over the dude's girlfriend cheated on him with the bully.

Wasn't that posted on Reddit like 2 days ago?

 

[pats3in4]

Seems like things worked out for you, nysportsfan.

I have a friend who felt the same way as you did prior to his marriage to Wife 1.0. Went through with the wedding and was in couples counseling immediately upon returning from the honeymoon. Divorced/annulled within 6 months. At least he didn't drag it out too long after the wedding and I'm glad you're not sharing a similar story.

And like you, this friend found another woman (Wife 2.0) relatively quickly and has been happily married for several years and has 2 kids.

 

[nysportsfan]

Seems like things worked out for you, nysportsfan.

I have a friend who felt the same way as you did prior to his marriage to Wife 1.0. Went through with the wedding and was in couples counseling immediately upon returning from the honeymoon. Divorced/annulled within 6 months. At least he didn't drag it out too long after the wedding and I'm glad you're not sharing a similar story.

And like you, this friend found another woman (Wife 2.0) relatively quickly and has been happily married for several years and has 2 kids.

Thanks, bud.

Yeah, I definitely saw us going down that route. I recently heard she is dating someone, so that made me happy.

I spoke with the gf's parents last night and they were thrilled. Really great people, they continue to make me feel like I am part of the family.

Not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but the ex's mother was bat #### crazy. Treated the dad like crap, much like the daughter treated me. I can't speak for their marriage, but I know the father broke off an engagement himself to be with the mother. Kind of ironic. There was one instance when the ex and I were fighting and the mother came running out of the house and started screaming at me like a crazy person. As if that wasn't enough, she reached inside the car and tried to grab me when I called her, "A nut." :windowbuttonup: Plenty of these types of stories if I felt like spilling.

 

[mr roboto]

I've never understood why people are so surprised at folks getting married quickly into relationship. It's like it's some unbreakable rule that you have to date for 5+ years otherwise you don't know the other person at all. Yet when you look back in history of people that get arrange marriages married after 3,6,9 months and live a full long happy life together. As the length of dating before marriage has increased in this country, so has the divorce rate. I'm not saying that longer dating time equals greater likelihood of divorce, but I certainly don't believe that we are any better at picking our future lifelong partner because we date longer now than we have been in any other point in history. The amount of time you know somebody before you propose them as little bearing on how well the marriage will go. What type of person you and your spouse are in the marriage determines how well the marriage will go.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I've never understood why people are so surprised at folks getting married quickly into relationship. It's like it's some unbreakable rule that you have to date for 5+ years otherwise you don't know the other person at all. Yet when you look back in history of people that get arrange marriages married after 3,6,9 months and live a full long happy life together. As the length of dating before marriage has increased in this country, so has the divorce rate. I'm not saying that longer dating time equals greater likelihood of divorce, but I certainly don't believe that we are any better at picking our future lifelong partner because we date longer now than we have been in any other point in history. The amount of time you know somebody before you propose them as little bearing on how well the marriage will go. What type of person you and your spouse are in the marriage determines how well the marriage will go.

I don't think people historically had happier marriages. I think divorces were less frequent due to a lot of other factors (the stigma of divorce, the inability of women to earn sufficient income, religious pressures, shorter lifespans, etc.)