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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

Go with eHarmony. i had that impression of eHarmony as well. And moved from match to there and have had much more success. I would say in general most people are looking for what you are.
Interesting to hear. And you think this applies even for chicks in their mid-30s? I have the fear that all of the chicks that age on that site are desperate to marry and get impregnated ASAP.
I think you're right OC Zed.Honestly, I know it sucks but the free sites = a lot of broke and big girls. There are a lot of big girls in comparison on OK Cupid. It's really odd.eHarmony - I've gotten laid and had fun but it's more of a mixed bag because you only get 7 matches per day, you really have to put in a lot of effort to even find out what they're up for.Match is the less of all evils in my opinion - I'd stick it out on there to be honest.

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

I would suggest trying out the sites that cater to people who have $. There are a lot of gold diggers on those sites but also a lot who simply wants a man who has it together and isn't living out of his parent's basement / plays xbox all day. A ton of munch younger girls who are into older men tend to sign up on those sites as well.I had the same experience as you did on Match. That's the only site where I've struck out and never got any of the chicks I was interested in.

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

Go with eHarmony. i had that impression of eHarmony as well. And moved from match to there and have had much more success. I would say in general most people are looking for what you are.
Interesting to hear. And you think this applies even for chicks in their mid-30s? I have the fear that all of the chicks that age on that site are desperate to marry and get impregnated ASAP.
Yep. i date in that age range(25-40).ETA but im dating in NYC where its the norm for women to be still single and enjoying single life at that age. Edited by PinkydaPimp

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).

So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

I would suggest trying out the sites that cater to people who have $. There are a lot of gold diggers on those sites but also a lot who simply wants a man who has it together and isn't living out of his parent's basement / plays xbox all day. A ton of munch younger girls who are into older men tend to sign up on those sites as well.

I had the same experience as you did on Match. That's the only site where I've struck out and never got any of the chicks I was interested in.

Any in particular?

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).

So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

Go with eHarmony. i had that impression of eHarmony as well. And moved from match to there and have had much more success. I would say in general most people are looking for what you are.
Interesting to hear. And you think this applies even for chicks in their mid-30s? I have the fear that all of the chicks that age on that site are desperate to marry and get impregnated ASAP.
Yep. i date in that age range(25-40).

ETA but im dating in NYC where its the norm for women to be still single and enjoying single life at that age.

This is a huge distinction. I'm in Orange County, California where at least 50% of the chicks are the vapid, materialistic, Real Housewives of OC type. Another 25% fall into the punk/tattoo white trashy crowd. That leaves me with maybe 25% remaining, of which are 90% on Match are either nurses or teachers (which leave me feeling kind of "meh").

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).

So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

I would suggest trying out the sites that cater to people who have $. There are a lot of gold diggers on those sites but also a lot who simply wants a man who has it together and isn't living out of his parent's basement / plays xbox all day. A ton of munch younger girls who are into older men tend to sign up on those sites as well.

I had the same experience as you did on Match. That's the only site where I've struck out and never got any of the chicks I was interested in.

Any in particular?
sugardaddie.com for one

About a year ago I was in Dallas with older cousin and someone he knew showed up at the bar/restaurant where we were at. Anyways, this guy was I think early 50's or late 40's and was going through a long drawn out divorce. He was fairly crazy but funny dude. His girlfriend ended up showing up later in the evening and she was a knock out. He's very personable so anyway I asked him where did they meet (they were bf/gf at this point) and he told me about that site. He also said don't waste my time with eharmony, match, etc, he tried them all and couldn't recommend this site high enough. I told him I am not looking to be a SD to some chick. He said on that site while there are a lot who are looking for that there are also a lot of smart, intelligent women who have $$ and a great job and sick and tired of dating loser broke men.

I gave it a shot and by far this site I pull in hotter and more interesting women than all online dating sites (free and paid) combined in my life. My profile is pretty obvious in that I'm not looking to pay someone a bunch of money for sex. I average about one new chick on that site a month and if I didn't have kids half the time I'm confident I could have more.

Check it out, pay for a month and I'll be shocked if you don't see some of the hottest chicks on the web on that site.

Edited by Walton Goggins

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My membership on Match is about to run out and I am contemplating not renewing. I'm just not getting responses from the chicks I want to meet. I'm newly single following a divorce, mid-30s, single father (daughter lives w/me part-time) and hold a good job with a good degree. I am not looking for a serious relationship right away or just one-and-done hook-ups... really, just casual dating that might lead to something eventually. Oh, and I'd also like to meet educated, professional and reasonably attractive chicks (they don't have to be perfect 10 FBG knockouts).So what's the best site for what I'm looking for? I don't mind using a pay site, but EHarmony gives me the impression of being a bit too serious. I made a quick scan of POF which gave me the impression of having a lot of fat chicks or chicks not financially stable enough to scrape together $20 for Match.

Go with eHarmony. i had that impression of eHarmony as well. And moved from match to there and have had much more success. I would say in general most people are looking for what you are.
Interesting to hear. And you think this applies even for chicks in their mid-30s? I have the fear that all of the chicks that age on that site are desperate to marry and get impregnated ASAP.
I try and stay with the mid 20's and a bit younger or women around my age or if it's clear they are not looking to have children and get married. Communication is key and the ones who are desperate either mention kids/getting married in their profile or it doesn't take long in e-mail.

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When I tried Match I was pretty experienced and successful with the whole on-line "dating" thing. At that point I had pretty much used all the free sites. Heard nothing but great things so gave it a shot and pretty much was an epic fail. I thought perhaps it's because it's a paid site, I was really baffled. I ended up signing up and paying on another site and like the free sites I was successful. If I was successful with Match I wouldn't have cared that I got a lot of spam e-mails but that compounded my frustration.To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

I tried the Goggins' form e-mail approach (almost verbatim) tonight. It was partly on a lark, and partly because I need a new approach. Looking forward to seeing if I get any responses here... :fishing:

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When I tried Match I was pretty experienced and successful with the whole on-line "dating" thing. At that point I had pretty much used all the free sites. Heard nothing but great things so gave it a shot and pretty much was an epic fail. I thought perhaps it's because it's a paid site, I was really baffled. I ended up signing up and paying on another site and like the free sites I was successful. If I was successful with Match I wouldn't have cared that I got a lot of spam e-mails but that compounded my frustration.To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

I tried the Goggins' form e-mail approach (almost verbatim) tonight. It was partly on a lark, and partly because I need a new approach. Looking forward to seeing if I get any responses here... :fishing:
:thumbup: Curious to hear how it goes although I am sure your photos and what you have put in your profile is just as if not more important than the initial e-mail.

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Met a good girl.

Pretty and very nice and friendly.

I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking.

Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.

:unsure:

first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

The right person is the right person - that's always been my philosophy and it's worked out well.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

The right person is the right person - that's always been my philosophy and it's worked out well.
How do I broach the subject of being firm about not taking care of things for her? Or is that a slippery slope. Truth is, I'd like to get to know her more and definitely would like to "hook up" but I did make the mistake of having my salary up on my match profile (I guess I should keep that hidden) - I don't want her getting any ideas and would like to get that out in the open BEFORE we hook up - which will likely be this week, I think she's coming up for a night and going to stay over.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

The right person is the right person - that's always been my philosophy and it's worked out well.
How do I broach the subject of being firm about not taking care of things for her? Or is that a slippery slope. Truth is, I'd like to get to know her more and definitely would like to "hook up" but I did make the mistake of having my salary up on my match profile (I guess I should keep that hidden) - I don't want her getting any ideas and would like to get that out in the open BEFORE we hook up - which will likely be this week, I think she's coming up for a night and going to stay over.
On the chance that things unexpectedly work out really well between you two, I think I'd rather get a feel for whether she's angling for a sugar daddy rather than tip her off to carefully hide those aspirations by making it an issue right off the bat.And maybe she's not like that at all and you'd just hurt her feelings or instantly kill the good start.You can always cut ties if she starts showing those kind of tendencies.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

The right person is the right person - that's always been my philosophy and it's worked out well.
How do I broach the subject of being firm about not taking care of things for her? Or is that a slippery slope. Truth is, I'd like to get to know her more and definitely would like to "hook up" but I did make the mistake of having my salary up on my match profile (I guess I should keep that hidden) - I don't want her getting any ideas and would like to get that out in the open BEFORE we hook up - which will likely be this week, I think she's coming up for a night and going to stay over.
Has she said she wants you to take care of things for her? If not, I don't know why you'd even bring it up.

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Thanks Christo and Das

For the record, I don't get the impression she's that way at all. Infact, I'm almost sure of it so I'll leave it to bed. Glad I asked.

She dropped out of college to stay with her mother who has dementia and so wasn't able to find a job paying well but she works with kids and stays at home taking care of her mother the rest of the time so she's a good person. Not the gold digging type in the least.

i guess I'll just see where things take me from there.

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Thanks Christo and DasFor the record, I don't get the impression she's that way at all. Infact, I'm almost sure of it so I'll leave it to bed. Glad I asked.She dropped out of college to stay with her mother who has dementia and so wasn't able to find a job paying well but she works with kids and stays at home taking care of her mother the rest of the time so she's a good person. Not the gold digging type in the least.i guess I'll just see where things take me from there.

I'm on board with Christo & Boot. You're overthinking this and bringing it up - no matter how subtle - is going to make you look like an ###. If she's trying to play you, you'll see the signs. I know you know this already, but "degree" doesn't equal "smarts/stability/common sense". Some people who are "degree-worthy" slip through the cracks for whatever reason and it sounds like she may be one.And no lie - the most bat-#### crazy women I've dated were well-educated. It's good to have standards, but leave room for the exceptions.Good luck and enjoy the ride. Edited by Uruk-Hai

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

What is her reason to not have one? I've dated a number of chicks who have degrees and were dumb as rocks. Would you like it if she had some BS degree instead? Don't see the difference.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

What is her reason to not have one? I've dated a number of chicks who have degrees and were dumb as rocks. Would you like it if she had some BS degree instead? Don't see the difference.
Her main reason not to have one seems to be that she's not very smart. Truly. I don't mean to be judgmental, I have a Masters Degree...she has "some college". You can tell in the conversations she's not very intelligent. Nice, hot, etc. Terrible speller (which does annoy me a bit).I've dated educated women in the past and it is a grind always trying to be funny and impress them so this was a nice no pressure date where I didn't always have to be so sharp and she'd laugh anyway. But this girl has no real life job prospects and not a lot of ambition other than to take care of her mother.I don't know. Who knows why I'm questioning it - thought I could get some good advice here.side note: She wants to come stay the night tonight and I hate when a woman I hardly know knows where I live. It's ok if there's an understanding about it being a fling, but her understanding is that we have a lot of chemistry and are really going to start seeing each other more often.I'm nervous I'm doing what I usually do and letting my #### do the thinking.:shrug: Edited by Reginald Cornsilks

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

The right person is the right person - that's always been my philosophy and it's worked out well.
How do I broach the subject of being firm about not taking care of things for her? Or is that a slippery slope. Truth is, I'd like to get to know her more and definitely would like to "hook up" but I did make the mistake of having my salary up on my match profile (I guess I should keep that hidden) - I don't want her getting any ideas and would like to get that out in the open BEFORE we hook up - which will likely be this week, I think she's coming up for a night and going to stay over.
On the chance that things unexpectedly work out really well between you two, I think I'd rather get a feel for whether she's angling for a sugar daddy rather than tip her off to carefully hide those aspirations by making it an issue right off the bat.And maybe she's not like that at all and you'd just hurt her feelings or instantly kill the good start.You can always cut ties if she starts showing those kind of tendencies.
FYI: One of the richest girls I've ever dated was a dentist and also had a trust fund and she was seeking someone to basically take care of her. Funny since out of all the girls I've ever dated she made MORE than me yet felt that the man should pay for everything. Just because someone has a great degree and makes a lot of money doesn't mean she's not looking for a SD type.

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Thanks Christo and DasFor the record, I don't get the impression she's that way at all. Infact, I'm almost sure of it so I'll leave it to bed. Glad I asked.She dropped out of college to stay with her mother who has dementia and so wasn't able to find a job paying well but she works with kids and stays at home taking care of her mother the rest of the time so she's a good person. Not the gold digging type in the least.i guess I'll just see where things take me from there.

If a girl wants you to take care of them it'll be clear sooner rather than later. They can't keep something like that bottled up for long. Don't sweat it and have fun. If she wants a SD type and that's not what you want then dump her when it comes up meanwhile have fun with her.

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I think the big thing with looking for chicks with degrees is not so much that they are financially stable, but it also shows that they have goals in life. Most adult, grown up goals require some sort of degree....even if the pay isn't that great (a lower paid teacher for example).

How old is this girl, Reg?

Does she have any intent on going back to school?

Where does she see herself in 10 years?

How is she in the sack?

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

What is her reason to not have one? I've dated a number of chicks who have degrees and were dumb as rocks. Would you like it if she had some BS degree instead? Don't see the difference.
Her main reason not to have one seems to be that she's not very smart. Truly. I don't mean to be judgmental, I have a Masters Degree...she has "some college". You can tell in the conversations she's not very intelligent. Nice, hot, etc. Terrible speller (which does annoy me a bit).I've dated educated women in the past and it is a grind always trying to be funny and impress them so this was a nice no pressure date where I didn't always have to be so sharp and she'd laugh anyway. But this girl has no real life job prospects and not a lot of ambition other than to take care of her mother.I don't know. Who knows why I'm questioning it - thought I could get some good advice here.side note: She wants to come stay the night tonight and I hate when a woman I hardly know knows where I live. It's ok if there's an understanding about it being a fling, but her understanding is that we have a lot of chemistry and are really going to start seeing each other more often.I'm nervous I'm doing what I usually do and letting my #### do the thinking.:shrug:
Wrap that rascal and let the chips fall where they may. As long as you don't get her pregnant you can't be forced to do anything against your will.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

What is her reason to not have one? I've dated a number of chicks who have degrees and were dumb as rocks. Would you like it if she had some BS degree instead? Don't see the difference.
Her main reason not to have one seems to be that she's not very smart. Truly. I don't mean to be judgmental, I have a Masters Degree...she has "some college". You can tell in the conversations she's not very intelligent. Nice, hot, etc. Terrible speller (which does annoy me a bit).I've dated educated women in the past and it is a grind always trying to be funny and impress them so this was a nice no pressure date where I didn't always have to be so sharp and she'd laugh anyway. But this girl has no real life job prospects and not a lot of ambition other than to take care of her mother.I don't know. Who knows why I'm questioning it - thought I could get some good advice here.side note: She wants to come stay the night tonight and I hate when a woman I hardly know knows where I live. It's ok if there's an understanding about it being a fling, but her understanding is that we have a lot of chemistry and are really going to start seeing each other more often.I'm nervous I'm doing what I usually do and letting my #### do the thinking.:shrug:
HIGHLY educated women can be tough, not because they are smart but many have a complex and must always let you know how smart they are. Some though are book smart but are zero when it comes to common sense smart. I know a few women who are like this, highly educated and you'd never know it cause they act like Crissy on Three's Company.I think you're thinking too much down the road. You don't even know her so why bother thinking if this will lead anywhere when you have no idea if it will or not? Enjoy life and have fun and you'll know down the road if you should continue seeing her or not.

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I think the big thing with looking for chicks with degrees is not so much that they are financially stable, but it also shows that they have goals in life. Most adult, grown up goals require some sort of degree....even if the pay isn't that great (a lower paid teacher for example).How old is this girl, Reg?Does she have any intent on going back to school?Where does she see herself in 10 years?How is she in the sack?

I know a ton of educated multiple degree women who are either married and have no desire to work or are looking for a husband so they can quit working. Not saying this is the case in all women but many don't have the same mindset as men. Most men who take the time, effort and money to get a master degree usually doesn't then decide they don't want to work or work in a job that doesn't even require a master's degree.

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Good discussion here.

I like to avoid situations where someone may get attached to me if I'm doubting things I guess. I also get scared of them knowing where I live in case I decide to end things (and they turn out to be bat####).

I was on a tear throwing my hogan around with women after my divorce and GD it felt good. And even now, I've definitely been with quite a few different women over the past few months.

This one "likes me, likes me" - and I actually like her, like her but for the simple fact that I tend to dominate women who aren't very smart. I dominate the relationship if I'm not challenged intellectually by the other person. All this still doesn't take away from how nice, hot and easy to get along with she is.

First time I've ever really debated telling a girl "No, don't come stay over tonight".

She mentioned she'd like to go back to school but with caring for her mother (w/ dementia), there's no way possible she can. That basically nixes any college plans for her until her mother is beyond live-in help and has to go to a facility which could be years. Which is why I don't see her as very ambitious because you would think there would be a way it could be done.

Our first meeting was at a local bar and it just so happened to be trivia night (unbeknownst to me). She sat there, awestruck, while I answered trivia questions with no insight from her whatsoever. On anything. Not smart and not ambitious.

No woman is perfect, but I always blow the imperfections out of proportion which is why I'm destined to die alone and I need to stop the cycle. I've been divorced probably 2 years now, and dated at least 30 women and managed to find something wrong with all of them. At some point, I need to stop finding reasons to stop seeing the girls that truly had a lot to offer. And don't be judgmental of me please, I realize I have a bit of a problem with this. Since my divorce, I guess I just look at all women as flawed even though I have many flaws myself.

Edited by Reginald Cornsilks

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It's clear you're already annoyed with her a wee bit. Just bang away until you grow tired. You're overthinking things. Christo is right - wrap it up and you can't be made to do anything.

I understand thinking ahead to see what kind of future you have but just enjoy the ride for now. A month from now you'll likely be done with her or find out you like her despite her minor faults.

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Good discussion here.

I like to avoid situations where someone may get attached to me if I'm doubting things I guess. I also get scared of them knowing where I live in case I decide to end things (and they turn out to be bat####).

I was on a tear throwing my hogan around with women after my divorce and GD it felt good. And even now, I've definitely been with quite a few different women over the past few months.

This one "likes me, likes me" - and I actually like her, like her but for the simple fact that I tend to dominate women who aren't very smart. I dominate the relationship if I'm not challenged intellectually by the other person. All this still doesn't take away from how nice, hot and easy to get along with she is.

First time I've ever really debated telling a girl "No, don't come stay over tonight".

She mentioned she'd like to go back to school but with caring for her mother (w/ dementia), there's no way possible she can. That basically nixes any college plans for her until her mother is beyond live-in help and has to go to a facility which could be years. Which is why I don't see her as very ambitious because you would think there would be a way it could be done.

Our first meeting was at a local bar and it just so happened to be trivia night (unbeknownst to me). She sat there, awestruck, while I answered trivia questions with no insight from her whatsoever. On anything. Not smart and not ambitious.

No woman is perfect, but I always blow the imperfections out of proportion which is why I'm destined to die alone and I need to stop the cycle. I've been divorced probably 2 years now, and dated at least 30 women and managed to find something wrong with all of them. At some point, I need to stop finding reasons to stop seeing the girls that truly had a lot to offer. And don't be judgmental of me please, I realize I have a bit of a problem with this. Since my divorce, I guess I just look at all women as flawed even though I have many flaws myself.

Unfortunately the more bat#### crazy they are usually it takes LONGER to find that out so that's just part of the deal if you want to dive into dating. People who know they are nuts are very good about keeping that hidden from you at the beginning. Obvious the ones who are crazy right off you can move on.

Just enjoy the ride. You can pretty much have doubts about ANY girl out there. Even the ones who are very attractive, smart and very personable you can think "why is she single then?"

If she is not ambitious enough for you and that's super important to you then dump her and move on.

As for dying a lone, that's hogwash. You can be married, have a great marriage and your partner dies first then what? You'll most likely have friends until old age or relatives.

I know I have flaws but my eyes are more opened know and know women have flaws as well. Can you live with them or not might be answer. I have kids already so perhaps I'm in a different boat but I love the freedom to do whatever I want to do when I am not with the kids and I've been divorced since end of 2008. I know some guys who can't live like that and get married fairly quick after they have divorced so everyone is different.

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No woman is perfect, but I always blow the imperfections out of proportion which is why I'm destined to die alone and I need to stop the cycle. I've been divorced probably 2 years now, and dated at least 30 women and managed to find something wrong with all of them. At some point, I need to stop finding reasons to stop seeing the girls that truly had a lot to offer. And don't be judgmental of me please, I realize I have a bit of a problem with this. Since my divorce, I guess I just look at all women as flawed even though I have many flaws myself.

Give it time. Two years really isn't that long.If you're not that into them, you'll find reasons to stop seeing them. Nothing wrong with that. Odds are that cycle will end naturally, when eventually you find someone you're really into despite (or maybe even because of) her flaws.

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No woman is perfect, but I always blow the imperfections out of proportion which is why I'm destined to die alone and I need to stop the cycle. I've been divorced probably 2 years now, and dated at least 30 women and managed to find something wrong with all of them. At some point, I need to stop finding reasons to stop seeing the girls that truly had a lot to offer. And don't be judgmental of me please, I realize I have a bit of a problem with this. Since my divorce, I guess I just look at all women as flawed even though I have many flaws myself.

Nothing wrong with that.

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When I tried Match I was pretty experienced and successful with the whole on-line "dating" thing. At that point I had pretty much used all the free sites. Heard nothing but great things so gave it a shot and pretty much was an epic fail. I thought perhaps it's because it's a paid site, I was really baffled. I ended up signing up and paying on another site and like the free sites I was successful. If I was successful with Match I wouldn't have cared that I got a lot of spam e-mails but that compounded my frustration.To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

I tried the Goggins' form e-mail approach (almost verbatim) tonight. It was partly on a lark, and partly because I need a new approach. Looking forward to seeing if I get any responses here... :fishing:
:thumbup: Curious to hear how it goes although I am sure your photos and what you have put in your profile is just as if not more important than the initial e-mail.
I tried your stock e-mail with four chicks... no replies and 3 of the 4 chicks blocked me outright from even looking at their profiles again. :lmao: Edited by OC Zed

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I recall a few pages back where someone thought that Match.com was littered with fake profiles and was really suspicious when they suddenly received a spike in communication from supposedly interested chicks right around the time their membership was up.

Add me to the suspicious list... My subscription was up tomorrow and I was on the fence on whether I should take a break from it for a while. All of a sudden I see a pick up in responses this past week and a fairly hot chick e-mailing me unsolicited.

I decided to renew for another 3 months (but only after they gave me the discounted 1-month rate), so we'll see how all of this plays out.

Part of it might be that I've gotten better at figuring out the chicks that are more likely to reply to begin with and I'm more honed in my introductory e-mail. (No, I haven't stuck with the form Goggins e-mail which was an utter disaster for me.)

Edited by OC Zed

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I tried your stock e-mail with four chicks... no replies and 3 of the 4 chicks blocked me outright from even looking at their profiles again. :lmao:

:lmao:

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To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

This is a perfect example of different approaches working. This sounds really awful to me on nearly every level. But if it works for you rock on. "Is this a real profile?" :thumbdown: Most people like to talk about themselves. And the more they talk about themselves the more they like you. So talking about yourself instead of asking questions about the other simply seems insane to me. And talking about your personality and a detailed orientation sounds like something woz would do. Whenever in doubt always ask WWWD. Then do the opposite.
Funny but "is this a real profile?" works on a few levels here:1. Most women feel compelled to let you know that they are legit and it isn't spam2. This opens them up on talking about themselves (yes, it's real and I do love to have a great time or whatever they talked about in their profile).3. Willing to bet few men question if they are legit/real4. The first part of the sentence has to be used. I'm telling them I'm the man they are looking for but if they aren't legit in what they said or if it's not real then I'm clearly not. Telling is the key.5. Also conveys to them that you think they are as interesting as they think they are Also key is that I say I am looking for someone who is attractive and smart, I never directly focus on their looks. I am dead serious in that this works more with the better looking women. Most guys will focus about their beauty when replying so what makes you different than the rest if you do the same thing.All that said it's just as important on the follow up and if they find you attractive or interesting. Finally telling them about how it's important having my kids half the time and that I'm involved seems to overshadow the other part of the message. This works for single mothers, this works (shocked at first) in much younger girls on a different level and works for women who say they aren't wanting children.
I disagree with nearly everything you have written. But since it's working for you I'll say keep up whatever it is you're doing.
That's the thing whatever works.Copy/paste what you put down as an opener. Curious.
If you can copy/paste it, you're doing it wrong. No two should be the same, it should show in some way that you at least took the time to read her profile before messaging her.

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Girls laugh at stuff that guys don't. If you send something different and neg them a bit by telling them what #### french toast is, you will get them to look twice at you.

:goodposting:Cheesy/corny funny is a good thing when it comes to girls.FWIW, I never had any opener to copy/paste. It depends completely on what the girl gives me to work with. The common denominator is that it's short and light. The goal is to make her laugh and get her to look at my profile, which should again get her laughing. My OKCupid profile was almost completely ridiculous but got a ton of attention. So many profiles are painfully dull and cookie cutter.
Not surprisingly, Stu nails it.

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Met a good girl.Pretty and very nice and friendly.I'm torn however - no college degree, not a great job but possibly the coolest chick otherwise that I've met and again very good looking. Sometimes it's not always a bad thing if someone doesn't have a degree but it diminishes any long term prospects and she's worthy of long term prospects personality wise.:unsure:first time this has happened - I've only gone out with girls with their degree and good job...and that's never worked out in the past, maybe it's time for a change up.

Why degree? That doesn't equate to financially stable.

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Good discussion here.

I like to avoid situations where someone may get attached to me if I'm doubting things I guess. I also get scared of them knowing where I live in case I decide to end things (and they turn out to be bat####).

I was on a tear throwing my hogan around with women after my divorce and GD it felt good. And even now, I've definitely been with quite a few different women over the past few months.

This one "likes me, likes me" - and I actually like her, like her but for the simple fact that I tend to dominate women who aren't very smart. I dominate the relationship if I'm not challenged intellectually by the other person. All this still doesn't take away from how nice, hot and easy to get along with she is.

First time I've ever really debated telling a girl "No, don't come stay over tonight".

She mentioned she'd like to go back to school but with caring for her mother (w/ dementia), there's no way possible she can. That basically nixes any college plans for her until her mother is beyond live-in help and has to go to a facility which could be years. Which is why I don't see her as very ambitious because you would think there would be a way it could be done.

Our first meeting was at a local bar and it just so happened to be trivia night (unbeknownst to me). She sat there, awestruck, while I answered trivia questions with no insight from her whatsoever. On anything. Not smart and not ambitious.

No woman is perfect, but I always blow the imperfections out of proportion which is why I'm destined to die alone and I need to stop the cycle. I've been divorced probably 2 years now, and dated at least 30 women and managed to find something wrong with all of them. At some point, I need to stop finding reasons to stop seeing the girls that truly had a lot to offer. And don't be judgmental of me please, I realize I have a bit of a problem with this. Since my divorce, I guess I just look at all women as flawed even though I have many flaws myself.

Well I can see how you wouldn't be awestruck by a simpleton. I wouldn't set the bar at a degree though, there are plenty of women without a degree that you'll be challenged by and not have to support financially.

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I recall a few pages back where someone thought that Match.com was littered with fake profiles and was really suspicious when they suddenly received a spike in communication from supposedly interested chicks right around the time their membership was up.Add me to the suspicious list... My subscription was up tomorrow and I was on the fence on whether I should take a break from it for a while. All of a sudden I see a pick up in responses this past week and a fairly hot chick e-mailing me unsolicited.I decided to renew for another 3 months (but only after they gave me the discounted 1-month rate), so we'll see how all of this plays out. Part of it might be that I've gotten better at figuring out the chicks that are more likely to reply to begin with and I'm more honed in my introductory e-mail. (No, I haven't stuck with the form Goggins e-mail which was an utter disaster for me.)

There's dozens of sites out there competing for our profiles and dollars and convinced Match has got some shady tactics going on....doesn't mean their getting you to renew with such tactics can't be beneficial for both parties. Hope it works out for you.

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Wow, thanks for all the input guys...some great advice in here and even with the advice I don't think I'll use it's still great discussion.

Gonna ignore the "it's her turn" line of thinking and start fresh. I am looking for "something more" and this profile really piques my interest, plus I just don't have the time to pursue the hoards of women others do...it's exhausting and time consuming!

Thought I'd add an update to this situation where I was intrigued by a profile on a free site, got a response, but never got a second response.

I ended up starting from scratch and emailed her again, never bringing up that she didn't respond to the last email. As expected she apologized for not responding to the last one and said she'd been busy and met someone but was still keeping her options open. We haven't been able to work out a time that fits both of our schedules, but I like where the conversation has headed...pretty sure we'll get together in the next couple of days. I feel like the situation was handled properly and she's now the one after me because I didn't come off as pushy or demanding...just laid back and understanding. It's easy to get overwhelmed with online dating, and it's sometimes just as easy to forget that others likely feel the same way and many will have social and active lives outside of i-dating just as you do.

I might give *crickets* a shot someday though

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Holy ####.

One of the worst dates ever last night. I honestly want to egg this broads house.

Went mini golfing in lieu of a drink because she doesn't drink. Conversations were impossible because she's one of those people who takes forever to get to the point of a story. She's telling me about her past match experiences and just adding in every single detail never getting to her point and she's not golfing and talking! She's stopped putting to tell the story. I'm jumping out of my skin. I tried to interject w a related question after 5 minutes and she would answer and then "So anyway....as I was saying"

Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

She orders a baked potato "Do you want cheese bacOn and sour cream with that for an extra 3 dollars?"

Of course she does.

Then she orders a 37 dollar filet mignon and gets it cooked WELL. I should have walked out right then.

No conversation really. Happy w her 50 dollar over cooked dinner.

Just as a test I texted her. Did you want to go out again some time? No response for 24 hours. She's not interested, I was just checking to see if she was grabbing a free meal off of me Or not

Not the same girl I posted about last week. Anyway, I'm so irritated and I'd love to send her a nasty text but I'm trying to be an adult

Edited by Reginald Cornsilks

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Holy ####. One of the worst dates ever last night. I honestly want to egg this broads house. Went mini golfing in lieu of a drink because she doesn't drink. Conversations were impossible because she's one of those people who takes forever to get to the point of a story. She's telling me about her past match experiences and just adding in every single detail never getting to her point and she's not golfing and talking! She's stopped putting to tell the story. I'm jumping out of my skin. I tried to interject w a related question after 5 minutes and she would answer and then "So anyway....as I was saying"Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite. She orders a baked potato "Do you want cheese bacOn and sour cream with that for an extra 3 dollars?"Of course she does. Then she orders a 37 dollar filet mignon and gets it cooked WELL. I should have walked out right then. No conversation really. Happy w her 50 dollar over cooked dinner. Just as a test I texted her. Did you want to go out again some time? No response for 24 hours. She's not interested, I was just checking to see if she was grabbing a free meal off of me Or notNot the same girl I posted about last week. Anyway, I'm so irritated and I'd love to send her a nasty text but I'm trying to be an adult

:lmao:

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Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

:doh:You guys are killing me with this. :lmao:

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Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

:doh:You guys are killing me with this. :lmao:
Please. I almost never do this but I was standing there listening to her stupid stories so ####### long I got hungry

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Holy ####. One of the worst dates ever last night. I honestly want to egg this broads house. Went mini golfing in lieu of a drink because she doesn't drink. Conversations were impossible because she's one of those people who takes forever to get to the point of a story. She's telling me about her past match experiences and just adding in every single detail never getting to her point and she's not golfing and talking! She's stopped putting to tell the story. I'm jumping out of my skin. I tried to interject w a related question after 5 minutes and she would answer and then "So anyway....as I was saying"Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite. She orders a baked potato "Do you want cheese bacOn and sour cream with that for an extra 3 dollars?"Of course she does. Then she orders a 37 dollar filet mignon and gets it cooked WELL. I should have walked out right then. No conversation really. Happy w her 50 dollar over cooked dinner. Just as a test I texted her. Did you want to go out again some time? No response for 24 hours. She's not interested, I was just checking to see if she was grabbing a free meal off of me Or notNot the same girl I posted about last week. Anyway, I'm so irritated and I'd love to send her a nasty text but I'm trying to be an adult

Lesson learned. You do the mini-golf to assess the gal and, if things are not going well, you get out of dodge after you're done golfing. You should have never asked her to go out afterwards if she was so annoying. Stick with the original plan. She must have been real good looking if you wanted to deal with all her rambling - thinking with the wrong head were ya?

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Exactly right. She was exactly my type. Blonde w big cans. Just bad. I knew halfway thru dinner I wasn't closing and she had no interest in me. I swear it's because I got my steak rare and there was cow blood all over my plate but who knows.

I shoulda made her pay for her steak or told her to get chicken fingers.

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When I tried Match I was pretty experienced and successful with the whole on-line "dating" thing. At that point I had pretty much used all the free sites. Heard nothing but great things so gave it a shot and pretty much was an epic fail. I thought perhaps it's because it's a paid site, I was really baffled. I ended up signing up and paying on another site and like the free sites I was successful. If I was successful with Match I wouldn't have cared that I got a lot of spam e-mails but that compounded my frustration.

To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.

The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything.

"I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"

ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

I tried the Goggins' form e-mail approach (almost verbatim) tonight. It was partly on a lark, and partly because I need a new approach. Looking forward to seeing if I get any responses here...

:fishing:

:thumbup:

Curious to hear how it goes although I am sure your photos and what you have put in your profile is just as if not more important than the initial e-mail.

I tried your stock e-mail with four chicks... no replies and 3 of the 4 chicks blocked me outright from even looking at their profiles again.

:lmao:

:confused: Which site? That's never ever happened to me.

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I recall a few pages back where someone thought that Match.com was littered with fake profiles and was really suspicious when they suddenly received a spike in communication from supposedly interested chicks right around the time their membership was up.Add me to the suspicious list... My subscription was up tomorrow and I was on the fence on whether I should take a break from it for a while. All of a sudden I see a pick up in responses this past week and a fairly hot chick e-mailing me unsolicited.I decided to renew for another 3 months (but only after they gave me the discounted 1-month rate), so we'll see how all of this plays out. Part of it might be that I've gotten better at figuring out the chicks that are more likely to reply to begin with and I'm more honed in my introductory e-mail. (No, I haven't stuck with the form Goggins e-mail which was an utter disaster for me.)

As I mentioned, Match.com for me I totally struck out in regards to meeting someone I was interested in. To this point this site is the ONLY place where I struck out. That said, I've heard people doing well on this site but I'm completely :confused: why I don't do well while that's never happened with me on other free and paid sites.

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Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

:doh:You guys are killing me with this. :lmao:
Please. I almost never do this but I was standing there listening to her stupid stories so ####### long I got hungry
So say good-bye and hit the drive thru.

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To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back:)"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

This is a perfect example of different approaches working. This sounds really awful to me on nearly every level. But if it works for you rock on. "Is this a real profile?" :thumbdown: Most people like to talk about themselves. And the more they talk about themselves the more they like you. So talking about yourself instead of asking questions about the other simply seems insane to me. And talking about your personality and a detailed orientation sounds like something woz would do. Whenever in doubt always ask WWWD. Then do the opposite.
Funny but "is this a real profile?" works on a few levels here:1. Most women feel compelled to let you know that they are legit and it isn't spam2. This opens them up on talking about themselves (yes, it's real and I do love to have a great time or whatever they talked about in their profile).3. Willing to bet few men question if they are legit/real4. The first part of the sentence has to be used. I'm telling them I'm the man they are looking for but if they aren't legit in what they said or if it's not real then I'm clearly not. Telling is the key.5. Also conveys to them that you think they are as interesting as they think they are Also key is that I say I am looking for someone who is attractive and smart, I never directly focus on their looks. I am dead serious in that this works more with the better looking women. Most guys will focus about their beauty when replying so what makes you different than the rest if you do the same thing.All that said it's just as important on the follow up and if they find you attractive or interesting. Finally telling them about how it's important having my kids half the time and that I'm involved seems to overshadow the other part of the message. This works for single mothers, this works (shocked at first) in much younger girls on a different level and works for women who say they aren't wanting children.
I disagree with nearly everything you have written. But since it's working for you I'll say keep up whatever it is you're doing.
That's the thing whatever works.Copy/paste what you put down as an opener. Curious.
If you can copy/paste it, you're doing it wrong. No two should be the same, it should show in some way that you at least took the time to read her profile before messaging her.
And as I mentioned I usually don't. What I'll do is second to last line I'll thrown in something that's specific to her profile unless her profile is generic and doesn't say anything different about herself from the others.For example one girl in one of her pictures had on long pink socks that went to her knees. What I did at the end was say it's always been a rule that any girl who wears long pink socks I have to reply to them. It's a written rule for me. She's already written me back and setting up a date sometime later in the week.

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