***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)

[Early_10]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

That's not a trivial issue to many women. I don't quite understand the 6'0 minimum so many women seem to have but it's there. Don't sweat it too much. As long as you maintain your confidence you'll find a catch at some point.

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

That's not a trivial issue to many women. I don't quite understand the 6'0 minimum so many women seem to have but it's there. Don't sweat it too much. As long as you maintain your confidence you'll find a catch at some point.

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That makes sense. Thank goodness I've never had to worry about that. I'm not sure how tall I am but it's at least 6'2.

 

[OC Zed]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

That's not a trivial issue to many women. I don't quite understand the 6'0 minimum so many women seem to have but it's there. Don't sweat it too much. As long as you maintain your confidence you'll find a catch at some point.

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That sounds really weird. I am not really into dominating chicks nor do I really want a chick that is seeking to be dominated.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

That's not a trivial issue to many women. I don't quite understand the 6'0 minimum so many women seem to have but it's there. Don't sweat it too much. As long as you maintain your confidence you'll find a catch at some point.

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That sounds really weird. I am not really into dominating chicks nor do I really want a chick that is seeking to be dominated.

That's not what she means (I think). It's more about feeling safe. You'd feel safer with Shaq by your side than Vern Troyer.

 

[Disco Stu]

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That sounds really weird. I am not really into dominating chicks nor do I really want a chick that is seeking to be dominated.

Only sounds weird because you don't usually hear them come out and say it. But at some level, most women want it.

 

[Zow]

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That sounds really weird. I am not really into dominating chicks nor do I really want a chick that is seeking to be dominated.

Only sounds weird because you don't usually hear them come out and say it. But at some level, most women want it.

 

[Disco Stu]

Was that rapey? That sounded a little rapey...

 

[Zow]

Just signed up...3 months. What's the best first step??Eharmony

I just finished a six month tour of duty on eharmony this week. Will have to post a summary of my experiences when I get a bit more time. Overall, I liked the site. It was the only site I have tried though - never did match or any others. My tipson't do the icebreakers. I never did. Just go ahead and send out questions to the matches you find interesting and see if you get a response. Don't go right to email on eharmony even though that is an option. The communication phase can take a bit of work but if you have any decent game you can get them to the email phase and get a meeting lined up. At that point, you have a good sense of what they like, don't like and can take things from there. Don't be shy about sending out the questions. If they don't answer just move on to another. Carefully review their pics. Whatever their worst pic is on their profile that is what you should go by. Also beware of those who only provide headshots unless your taste in women is like Christo's.Good luck and have fun with it.

Agree with all this. I always had the best luck just sticking with the questions. You may get some girls who directly e-mail you, but of all the girls I talked to about the site that I met from there all said they preferred the question deal because they thought the e-mails were too forward and needy. You are also definitely getting their best pictures. Keep that in mind too when you are posting your own - make sure to use accurate pictures. I had several girls tell me within the first few minutes that they were surprised that I "actually look like my pictures" or "look the exact same." I'd always parlay that into acting surprised to hear this, then having them tell me some horror stories about guys they met who didn't look like their pictures - giving me instant credibility and an appearance of being better than most guys they have met on the site. Disagree though about not closing matches you aren't interested in. In my experience if you cast too many lines or leave too many matches open you're going to have to wade through a ton of connections and possibly a ton of dates with girls you're just not interested in. That's a waste of time.

 

[OC Zed]

Was that rapey? That sounded a little rapey...

It did and it underscores how bat#### crazy women are.

 

[Early_10]

It goes to a physical domination thing. I'm 5'6, a guy 5'4 is not going to get it done.

That sounds really weird. I am not really into dominating chicks nor do I really want a chick that is seeking to be dominated.

Only sounds weird because you don't usually hear them come out and say it. But at some level, most women want it.

And even if it's not the actual domination, it's the perception of such. We're raised to believe we need a strong man, broad shouldered, towering over us to protect. Then there's the physicality of fantasy. I've never dreamed of being run under by a midget.

 

[Early_10]

Was that rapey? That sounded a little rapey...

Nah, it was accurate. There's a thin line between admitting we like to be taken and opening ourselves up to trouble.

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

 

[Christo]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

 

[Frostillicus]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

He probably either doesn't even have a job and lives off unemployment and food stamps and rents his parents basement at a ridiculously low cost, or he's super rich and doesn't want anybody to know about it because he doesn't want to be used for his money.

 

[offdee]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

I did ask early on in a very casual way. But he kind of deflected it, changing the subject and giving me the idea he didn't like the standard Q&A. I guess it made me feel confused and a little intimidated.

 

[Christo]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

I did ask early on in a very casual way. But he kind of deflected it, changing the subject and giving me the idea he didn't like the standard Q&A. I guess it made me feel confused and a little intimidated.

Why did you go out with him again?

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

There's this tool we've invented in speech you should be aware of. It's called a "question." You can use it to find out information from people you'd like to know.

Maybe I could ask him to be a guest speaker for my class...tell him it's career day.

 

[Time Kibitzer]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

There's this tool we've invented in speech you should be aware of. It's called a "question." You can use it to find out information from people you'd like to know.

Maybe I could ask him to be a guest speaker for my class...tell him it's career day.

What's so hard about saying "What do you do for a living?"

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

There's this tool we've invented in speech you should be aware of. It's called a "question." You can use it to find out information from people you'd like to know.

Maybe I could ask him to be a guest speaker for my class...tell him it's career day.

What's so hard about saying "What do you do for a living?"

The direct approach, eh?

 

[PinkydaPimp]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

There's this tool we've invented in speech you should be aware of. It's called a "question." You can use it to find out information from people you'd like to know.

Maybe I could ask him to be a guest speaker for my class...tell him it's career day.

What's so hard about saying "What do you do for a living?"

The direct approach, eh?

doesnt his online profile list a job?

 

[skillz]

Quick question about Eharmony.1. After you look at someones profile it shows that you have viewed them. If I look at their profile again does it update to the last time I viewed it? 2. If a girl hasn't been on in over 3 weeks, is it safe to assume that she is no longer active? Or is this common?

1. If you view a profile multiple times in one day it will only show that you viewed her profile on that particular day (i.e. it will not show her that you looked at it 15 times that day).2. Yes. Odds are they have left the site and are no longer an active subscriber.

 

[skillz]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

I did ask early on in a very casual way. But he kind of deflected it, changing the subject and giving me the idea he didn't like the standard Q&A. I guess it made me feel confused and a little intimidated.

Why did you go out with him again?

No kidding. That's weird that you don't know anything about his job after 3 dates. I'd just ask him and if he keeps evading then he's hiding something and I'd move on to someone else. Why keep wasting time on the guy?

 

[desert rose]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

I did ask early on in a very casual way. But he kind of deflected it, changing the subject and giving me the idea he didn't like the standard Q&A. I guess it made me feel confused and a little intimidated.

Why did you go out with him again?

No kidding. That's weird that you don't know anything about his job after 3 dates. I'd just ask him and if he keeps evading then he's hiding something and I'd move on to someone else. Why keep wasting time on the guy?

It seemed like he was trying to be unique and memorable. I did have fun. But now it just seems fishy.

 

[skillz]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

Sleep with him and maybe he'll open up.

That's just it, how do I know if he's sponge worthy if I don't know what he does?

Why wouldn't you just ask him what he does?

I did ask early on in a very casual way. But he kind of deflected it, changing the subject and giving me the idea he didn't like the standard Q&A. I guess it made me feel confused and a little intimidated.

Why did you go out with him again?

No kidding. That's weird that you don't know anything about his job after 3 dates. I'd just ask him and if he keeps evading then he's hiding something and I'd move on to someone else. Why keep wasting time on the guy?

It seemed like he was trying to be unique and memorable. I did have fun. But now it just seems fishy.

Usually when your gut is telling you something seems fishy that means it is. Maybe just talk to him on the phone and ask him how'd work go today and see what he says - go at it indirectly. If he keeps being weird about it, I'd cut bait. Not worth your time. There are plenty of other weirdos waiting for you to date on the innerwebs.

 

[EYLive]

Are girls still pretty reluctant to make the first move? You'd think that the internet would empower them to be more aggressive.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Are girls still pretty reluctant to make the first move? You'd think that the internet would empower them to be more aggressive.

It's hit and miss. If you make yourself seem like you're a busy guy in high demand who lives life to the fullest you'd definitely get chicks chasing after you.But if you see someone you like you should still make a move instead of waiting for her.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Is it normal for a guy to not talk about his job? I don't want to seem like a gold digger, but we've gone out three times and I still have no idea what this guy does.

No, it's not. In my experience, talking about work is about the easiest ice-breaker there is (unlike, say, exes, abortion, or politics). What do you talk about?

Did you meet him on-line? If so, many sites have a "profession" area (not that someone couldn't lie) and also an "education" spot. Many of the professions listed are pretty vague - like "adminstration". If he's listed one of those, say something like "I see on your profile that you're in admin. What does that entail?". Act interested instead of suspicious.

 

[skillz]

A cute girl viewed my profile today. Is it weird to send her 5 questions the same day? Or should I wait?Also, she's 18 and I'm 25...Does eharmony verify ages...

Let 'er rip! If you don't send her the questions someone else will.I think ages are on the honor system though. It's not like they card you or ask for a birth certificate when you sign up.

 

[skillz]

Are girls still pretty reluctant to make the first move? You'd think that the internet would empower them to be more aggressive.

Depends on the girl. On eharmony I had women send me questions or initiate commmunications before I did - most were not very good looking and probably weren't getting any communication so they took matters into their own hands by initiating. Some were good looking though and that's how I ended up on most of my dates - responding to questions that were initiated by a good looking girl, not me. Others I sent them the questions first. My response ratio when I did was only about 20% so it's good to not get hung up on only trying to communicate with one girl. Just send out questions to good prospects and sort through them as you go along. For me Eharmony definitely wasn't a site where the only way to make contact with a woman was for the guy to make the first move.

 

[OC Zed]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

 

[offdee]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

No, it's not. At most suggest meeting somewhere half way between you two if you feel like making an effort. Driving that far for someone before even knowing them automatically gives her the upper hand and she'll lose respect for you as a chasing male. Make her do half of the chasing. If she's not willing, than she's not worth wasting your time.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

offdee is right when he says you should meet her halfway (literally). But if you like her don't let the distance stop you. I once briefly dated a chick who lived even further away (I moved from LA to the IE and she lived in Santa Clarita). Southern California is a strange beast in this regard.

 

[Time Kibitzer]

Been on for almost a week now...only 3-4 chicks worth talking to. No responses.

What happened with the teenybopper?

 

[OC Zed]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

No, it's not. At most suggest meeting somewhere half way between you two if you feel like making an effort. Driving that far for someone before even knowing them automatically gives her the upper hand and she'll lose respect for you as a chasing male. Make her do half of the chasing. If she's not willing, than she's not worth wasting your time.

I'm not talking about just the first date... I'm just envisioning how this would play out on a semi-regular basis. I can't say I'm that enthused.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

No, it's not. At most suggest meeting somewhere half way between you two if you feel like making an effort. Driving that far for someone before even knowing them automatically gives her the upper hand and she'll lose respect for you as a chasing male. Make her do half of the chasing. If she's not willing, than she's not worth wasting your time.

I'm not talking about just the first date... I'm just envisioning how this would play out on a semi-regular basis. I can't say I'm that enthused.

Odds are you two won't hit it off. But if you do, you'd find a way to make it work. Lots of great women in SoCal so if you don't want to bother with the drive it's understandable. But it's not such a crazy distance it couldn't work. Especially not in an area where it seems you can't get anywhere with at least a 20 minute drive. But don't worry about what might happen. Right now just meet for coffee. If you two click then deal with it from there.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

A fairly attractive chick contacted me unsolicited on Match.com the other day. She seems normal except she lives a solid 50 miles away (she's north LA and I'm central OC). I'm pondering whether a 100 minute car ride is worth it for some tail.

Good Lord, that's perfect for me - close enough to get together with some planning but far enough where we're not up each other's asses. But then again, I'm not looking for a live-in partner.

 

[OC Zed]

Lame. All the girls worth communicating with haven't been active in over 3 weeks...starting to regret the $80 I spent on this!!

Is that $80 per month or for multiple months? I'm tired of the flakiness of the chicks on Match.com and wouldn't mind finding chicks who are a little more serious so I thought I might give Eharmony a try.

 

[Sarnoff]

Lame. All the girls worth communicating with haven't been active in over 3 weeks...starting to regret the $80 I spent on this!!

Is that $80 per month or for multiple months? I'm tired of the flakiness of the chicks on Match.com and wouldn't mind finding chicks who are a little more serious so I thought I might give Eharmony a try.

I think I heard this tip earlier in the thread. Start to fill out the questionnaire to join, then stop before you're done. If you don't complete it, after a few weeks, eharmony will send you an email with a discount offer.

 

[Zow]

Are girls still pretty reluctant to make the first move? You'd think that the internet would empower them to be more aggressive.

The hot ones get plenty of messages so they don't have to. Some do though if they see something they like. If you get a message from a chick, your chances with her are really really high.

 

[OC Zed]

Finally had a girl read the questions I sent and no response.

Online dating is sort of like surfing. 99% of your time is spent waiting with 1% actually riding the wave.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Finally had a girl read the questions I sent and no response.

Online dating is sort of like surfing. 99% of your time is spent waiting with 1% actually riding the wave.

Just sent questions to a so-so chick. I'm definitely not ugly, but if I get no reply I'm giving up.

You're coming across as a bit desperate in this thread. I can only imagine how you come across in your profile. Reginald posted some amazing tips several pages back. Follow that advice.

 

[EYLive]

It sucks that us guys have to pay for everything.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

It sucks that us guys have to pay for everything.

All guys are paying, one way or the other.

 

[skillz]

I've had women on eharmony read my questions too and never answer. They don't close out either for some reason. Heck, I had one send me an icebreaker and when I sent her questions (albeit two weeks later) she read them but never answered.

Bottom line is don't worry about all that and move on to the next. You need to develop a thick skin if you're going to online date - you will be rejected and you will also reject others. It's a numbers game. Unfortunately the good looking women hold the cards since they get so many guys going after them. Just the way it is.

 

[Zow]

I've had women on eharmony read my questions too and never answer. They don't close out either for some reason. Heck, I had one send me an icebreaker and when I sent her questions (albeit two weeks later) she read them but never answered.

Bottom line is don't worry about all that and move on to the next. You need to develop a thick skin if you're going to online date - you will be rejected and you will also reject others. It's a numbers game. Unfortunately the good looking women hold the cards since they get so many guys going after them. Just the way it is.

Odds are most of the time you haven't gotten a response it's got nothing to do with you, your profile, or your pictures. Online dating can be a ton of work. In my experience but of what I've done and with the girls I've asked about it, there's always some random reason why they didn't respond even though they may have read the message - they could have intended to respond but may have just gone out with someone and are seeing how that goes, they may have gotten tied up with something and just forgot, they may be looking for some weird particular (want a dude who lives in a certain area, has a dog, etc.), may have a significant other now but read messages for kicks, or many other random reason. When I met my gf I hadn't closed out my account yet and checked it a couple of times before my subscription ended. There were several messages from girls with absolutely nothing wrong from them and would have been cool to date but obviously I didn't even respond - meaning to them it'd appear I'd have read them and ignored them.

It's really a battle of attrition. Sure, it can be incredibly frustrating sometimes - to me the most frustrating was getting to the message stage with a girl on eharm, particularly one very closely resembling the ex, only to have them just stop randomly stop responding - but you gotta realize it likely has nothing to do with you personally.

 

[Zow]

I was excited this morning to see that a girl sent me 5 questions. Upon looking at her profile, I realize she is a 200+ pound black woman. FWIW I am a skinny white boy. Someone must be screwing with me.

No, she is being smart - she is sending out messages to anyone who she might be interested in because there is nothing to lose and you should be doing the same.

 

[Christo]

I was excited this morning to see that a girl sent me 5 questions. Upon looking at her profile, I realize she is a 200+ pound black woman. FWIW I am a skinny white boy. Someone must be screwing with me.

No, she is being smart - she is sending out messages to anyone who she might be interested in because there is nothing to lose and you should be doing the same.

Yeah, a lot of black women online are looking for white guys.

 

[Zow]

I was excited this morning to see that a girl sent me 5 questions. Upon looking at her profile, I realize she is a 200+ pound black woman. FWIW I am a skinny white boy. Someone must be screwing with me.

No, she is being smart - she is sending out messages to anyone who she might be interested in because there is nothing to lose and you should be doing the same.

Yeah, a lot of black women online are looking for white guys.