***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)

[Walton Goggins]

Girls laugh at stuff that guys don't. If you send something different and neg them a bit by telling them what #### french toast is, you will get them to look twice at you.

Cheesy/corny funny is a good thing when it comes to girls.FWIW, I never had any opener to copy/paste. It depends completely on what the girl gives me to work with. The common denominator is that it's short and light. The goal is to make her laugh and get her to look at my profile, which should again get her laughing. My OKCupid profile was almost completely ridiculous but got a ton of attention. So many profiles are painfully dull and cookie cutter.

Not surprisingly, Stu nails it.

My profile is anything but dull and cookie cutter. If you give a stock reply that looks generic and your profile doesn't stand out then your chances are lowered. I mix things in from saying I'm a professional hopscotch player to saying if you are into dbags then you won't be into me. In regards to what I'm doing I'll put anything from wrestling alligators to thinking about white noise. Silly or not, nobody has stuff like that in their profile. So when you give a solid generic stock initial e-mail with somewhere briefly touch on something original about their profile make sure it's in a form of a question. So they say they like bourbon say something like "I like the fact that unlike most women you like bourbon but do you drink it straight or cheat and mix it with something?" If you recognize something they have written but sort of question it, they will write back or they do for me.Most importantly is be yourself. If you are reserved then don't act like you are wild. Be yourself and exaggerate it a little to stand out.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Holy ####. One of the worst dates ever last night. I honestly want to egg this broads house. Went mini golfing in lieu of a drink because she doesn't drink. Conversations were impossible because she's one of those people who takes forever to get to the point of a story. She's telling me about her past match experiences and just adding in every single detail never getting to her point and she's not golfing and talking! She's stopped putting to tell the story. I'm jumping out of my skin. I tried to interject w a related question after 5 minutes and she would answer and then "So anyway....as I was saying"Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite. She orders a baked potato "Do you want cheese bacOn and sour cream with that for an extra 3 dollars?"Of course she does. Then she orders a 37 dollar filet mignon and gets it cooked WELL. I should have walked out right then. No conversation really. Happy w her 50 dollar over cooked dinner. Just as a test I texted her. Did you want to go out again some time? No response for 24 hours. She's not interested, I was just checking to see if she was grabbing a free meal off of me Or notNot the same girl I posted about last week. Anyway, I'm so irritated and I'd love to send her a nasty text but I'm trying to be an adult

Few rules I have on first meeting:1. She must drink (could be one drink or more)2. NO on going out for dinner. I'll only go get something to eat with her if things are going great and I'm hungry. I make it a point to start off dates later in the evening if possible.Just live and learn and don't send her a text and move on.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

You guys are killing me with this.

Dinner is a third date deal. Maybe second if we really hit it off on date #1. I once had a chick tell me she hadn't eaten and was getting hungry. I told her we should probably wrap things up so she could get home. I'm okay if a girl doesn't want to drink the first night out, but if she doesn't drink ever that's a big negative.

 

[ThaPenguin]

Forget to add. She didn't say thank you for anything.

20 dollars on mini golf and 70 on dinner.

Was this the Augusta mini-golf course?

 

[SteevieG]

Holy ####.

One of the worst dates ever last night. I honestly want to egg this broads house.

Went mini golfing in lieu of a drink because she doesn't drink. Conversations were impossible because she's one of those people who takes forever to get to the point of a story. She's telling me about her past match experiences and just adding in every single detail never getting to her point and she's not golfing and talking! She's stopped putting to tell the story. I'm jumping out of my skin. I tried to interject w a related question after 5 minutes and she would answer and then "So anyway....as I was saying"

Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

She orders a baked potato "Do you want cheese bacOn and sour cream with that for an extra 3 dollars?"

Of course she does.

Then she orders a 37 dollar filet mignon and gets it cooked WELL. I should have walked out right then.

No conversation really. Happy w her 50 dollar over cooked dinner.

Just as a test I texted her. Did you want to go out again some time? No response for 24 hours. She's not interested, I was just checking to see if she was grabbing a free meal off of me Or not

Not the same girl I posted about last week. Anyway, I'm so irritated and I'd love to send her a nasty text but I'm trying to be an adult

Lesson learned. You do the mini-golf to assess the gal and, if things are not going well, you get out of dodge after you're done golfing. You should have never asked her to go out afterwards if she was so annoying. Stick with the original plan. She must have been real good looking if you wanted to deal with all her rambling - thinking with the wrong head were ya?

I swear I was fixated on the above word for a minute or two before I figured it out.... I'm not normally stupid, but an "a" and a couple of "s"'s for a married guy in a dating thread and, well.....

 

[Walton Goggins]

Stupid idea but I asked if she wanted to hit the steakhouse next door for a bite.

You guys are killing me with this.

Dinner is a third date deal. Maybe second if we really hit it off on date #1. I once had a chick tell me she hadn't eaten and was getting hungry. I told her we should probably wrap things up so she could get home.

I'm okay if a girl doesn't want to drink the first night out, but if she doesn't drink ever that's a big negative.

Not long ago I was out with a girl who said the same thing. I said I'm sorry I just ate a huge meal before we met but I'd totally understand it if we needed to cut it short so she could go get something to eat.

 

[Early_10]

Lessons from the FFA

-first meeting is never more than coffee/hour

-always take your own transportation

-don't pay for food til third date

Please add at will.

 

[OC Zed]

Forget to add. She didn't say thank you for anything. 20 dollars on mini golf and 70 on dinner.

This is the #### that makes men bitter.

 

[OC Zed]

I tried your stock e-mail with four chicks... no replies and 3 of the 4 chicks blocked me outright from even looking at their profiles again.

Which site? That's never ever happened to me.

Match

 

[OC Zed]

To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

This is a perfect example of different approaches working. This sounds really awful to me on nearly every level. But if it works for you rock on. "Is this a real profile?" Most people like to talk about themselves. And the more they talk about themselves the more they like you. So talking about yourself instead of asking questions about the other simply seems insane to me. And talking about your personality and a detailed orientation sounds like something woz would do. Whenever in doubt always ask WWWD. Then do the opposite.

Funny but "is this a real profile?" works on a few levels here:1. Most women feel compelled to let you know that they are legit and it isn't spam2. This opens them up on talking about themselves (yes, it's real and I do love to have a great time or whatever they talked about in their profile).3. Willing to bet few men question if they are legit/real4. The first part of the sentence has to be used. I'm telling them I'm the man they are looking for but if they aren't legit in what they said or if it's not real then I'm clearly not. Telling is the key.5. Also conveys to them that you think they are as interesting as they think they are Also key is that I say I am looking for someone who is attractive and smart, I never directly focus on their looks. I am dead serious in that this works more with the better looking women. Most guys will focus about their beauty when replying so what makes you different than the rest if you do the same thing.All that said it's just as important on the follow up and if they find you attractive or interesting. Finally telling them about how it's important having my kids half the time and that I'm involved seems to overshadow the other part of the message. This works for single mothers, this works (shocked at first) in much younger girls on a different level and works for women who say they aren't wanting children.

I disagree with nearly everything you have written. But since it's working for you I'll say keep up whatever it is you're doing.

That's the thing whatever works.Copy/paste what you put down as an opener. Curious.

If you can copy/paste it, you're doing it wrong. No two should be the same, it should show in some way that you at least took the time to read her profile before messaging her.

And as I mentioned I usually don't. What I'll do is second to last line I'll thrown in something that's specific to her profile unless her profile is generic and doesn't say anything different about herself from the others.For example one girl in one of her pictures had on long pink socks that went to her knees. What I did at the end was say it's always been a rule that any girl who wears long pink socks I have to reply to them. It's a written rule for me. She's already written me back and setting up a date sometime later in the week.

To clarify, I did add some personalized lines at the end. Still no luck.

 

[EYLive]

So I'm new at this. I'm dabbling in POF until I tighten up my game.

What's the verdict on sending a 2nd message if I feel my first one (while sincere and poignant) was boring? Would it seem desperate, and if a second message conveys a completely different attitude/vibe, wouldn't it seem phony?

 

[Walton Goggins]

Lessons from the FFA-first meeting is never more than coffee/hour-always take your own transportation-don't pay for food til third datePlease add at will.

I don't know what rules to follow but through trial and error these work for me:1. Always go for drinks. I don't do coffee or meet at lunchtime or dinner or movie.2. Always bail after a drink or two if it's not working out. Be honest and cut it short, no need to lie or make excuses. I wouldn't want her to feel like she has to keep having drinks with me if she's not into me.3. Definitely take your own transportation and meet them there4. You can eat first date but after drinks are consumed and it's going great and hungry. I typically schedule drinks a bit later so I can eat before and bypass the whole dinner thing.Biggest thing for me is fairly quickly I know it's either on or not. Can't fight or force chemistry so at least for me it's either there fairly quickly or isn't.

 

[Christo]

So I'm new at this. I'm dabbling in POF until I tighten up my game.What's the verdict on sending a 2nd message if I feel my first one (while sincere and poignant) was boring? Would it seem desperate, and if a second message conveys a completely different attitude/vibe, wouldn't it seem phony?

If you didn't get a response move on. Plenty of Fish.

 

[Walton Goggins]

To cut down on the time you spend you should draft up an email greeting. Mine talks about myself and what I do is usually towards the end add in something that pertains to her (likes football as well or a single parent like myself or loves to cook as I do, etc.) so it doesn't come off as a generic e-mail that she'll think you've sent to many other women.The beginning of my e-mail starts like this and has been a gold mine for me "I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real profile?" I have never gotten a negative reply back. Here's what I start if off with, may be your style or it may not and obviously you need more than an opening but besides Match I rarely don't get feedback from it. Below is what I use and after the "me" time sentence I'll sometimes put in something that she and I both like or have in common. If her profile is short or I don't see anything that we have in common I won't put anything."I'm definitely the man you are looking for but first is this a real personal profile? To be honest, I never thought I would sign up on a dating website but I know someone who did on here and said it was a great place to find someone who is attractive and smart and has it together and the kind of women I would want to meet so I browsed some of the profiles in here and saw yours and had to reply to you. I love to have fun and always up for anything and I am an excellent cook! I like to exercise and currently doing this workout called Insanity which is killing me. I was born and raised in Texas but lived in NYC for 10 years and I reside in Austin now. I am a single father of two little girls that I have half the time and a huge part of their lives but that also leaves me with 50% of "me" time. Would love to get to know you more so if interested write back"ETA: Just enough information but not overload. When she replies I then go into my personality and a bit more detailed oriented. Generally found the few sentence initial e-mail or the one that reads like a book doesn't work. Just enough information to wet their appetite and get them to respond.

This is a perfect example of different approaches working. This sounds really awful to me on nearly every level. But if it works for you rock on. "Is this a real profile?" Most people like to talk about themselves. And the more they talk about themselves the more they like you. So talking about yourself instead of asking questions about the other simply seems insane to me. And talking about your personality and a detailed orientation sounds like something woz would do. Whenever in doubt always ask WWWD. Then do the opposite.

Funny but "is this a real profile?" works on a few levels here:1. Most women feel compelled to let you know that they are legit and it isn't spam2. This opens them up on talking about themselves (yes, it's real and I do love to have a great time or whatever they talked about in their profile).3. Willing to bet few men question if they are legit/real4. The first part of the sentence has to be used. I'm telling them I'm the man they are looking for but if they aren't legit in what they said or if it's not real then I'm clearly not. Telling is the key.5. Also conveys to them that you think they are as interesting as they think they are Also key is that I say I am looking for someone who is attractive and smart, I never directly focus on their looks. I am dead serious in that this works more with the better looking women. Most guys will focus about their beauty when replying so what makes you different than the rest if you do the same thing.All that said it's just as important on the follow up and if they find you attractive or interesting. Finally telling them about how it's important having my kids half the time and that I'm involved seems to overshadow the other part of the message. This works for single mothers, this works (shocked at first) in much younger girls on a different level and works for women who say they aren't wanting children.

I disagree with nearly everything you have written. But since it's working for you I'll say keep up whatever it is you're doing.

That's the thing whatever works.Copy/paste what you put down as an opener. Curious.

If you can copy/paste it, you're doing it wrong. No two should be the same, it should show in some way that you at least took the time to read her profile before messaging her.

And as I mentioned I usually don't. What I'll do is second to last line I'll thrown in something that's specific to her profile unless her profile is generic and doesn't say anything different about herself from the others.For example one girl in one of her pictures had on long pink socks that went to her knees. What I did at the end was say it's always been a rule that any girl who wears long pink socks I have to reply to them. It's a written rule for me. She's already written me back and setting up a date sometime later in the week.

To clarify, I did add some personalized lines at the end. Still no luck.

I just resigned up with Match. First time I totally bombed and out of every site this was the worst for me. After signing up again I used my stock e-mail and added some stuff and got some replies. Haven't set up a date yet though. I really think it's the pictures and your profile and what you say that ultimately works. On some other sites I have written one line and some even "Where in Austin do you live?"I've never gotten blocked.

 

[Walton Goggins]

So I'm new at this. I'm dabbling in POF until I tighten up my game.What's the verdict on sending a 2nd message if I feel my first one (while sincere and poignant) was boring? Would it seem desperate, and if a second message conveys a completely different attitude/vibe, wouldn't it seem phony?

Why not send a second message if you don't get a reply? Worst case you still don't get a reply. I've met some girls after throwing another e-mail out.

 

[EYLive]

Do you guys normaly just send messages to the hottest chicks on the "match" list and work your way down? Or do you go by compatability ratings? Location?

I'm aiming high by going after the best looking first. We'll see what I'm left with if the snooty broad's aren't biting.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Do you guys normaly just send messages to the hottest chicks on the "match" list and work your way down? Or do you go by compatability ratings? Location?I'm aiming high by going after the best looking first. We'll see what I'm left with if the snooty broad's aren't biting.

It depends what you're looking for. Looking for a relationship? I go a bit for the matches and largely base it on what she says in her profile. Looking to hook up? Cast a wide net.And Christo is right - if you don't hear anything after the first message move onto the next. If for whatever reason you really want to meet a chick who didn't respond, I'd consider sending a second message a week or so later.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Do you guys normaly just send messages to the hottest chicks on the "match" list and work your way down? Or do you go by compatability ratings? Location?I'm aiming high by going after the best looking first. We'll see what I'm left with if the snooty broad's aren't biting.

It depends what you're looking for. Looking for a relationship? I go a bit for the matches and largely base it on what she says in her profile. Looking to hook up? Cast a wide net.And Christo is right - if you don't hear anything after the first message move onto the next. If for whatever reason you really want to meet a chick who didn't respond, I'd consider sending a second message a week or so later.

Agree.

 

[Early_10]

Do you guys normaly just send messages to the hottest chicks on the "match" list and work your way down? Or do you go by compatability ratings? Location?I'm aiming high by going after the best looking first. We'll see what I'm left with if the snooty broad's aren't biting.

Match is terrible in my region. I get the email of matches everyday and it's full of guys from Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. There's an ocean between us! hello!!

 

[jason12vb]

So I'm new at this. I'm dabbling in POF until I tighten up my game.What's the verdict on sending a 2nd message if I feel my first one (while sincere and poignant) was boring? Would it seem desperate, and if a second message conveys a completely different attitude/vibe, wouldn't it seem phony?

I've got nothing against sending a second email...on a free site, the top-tier women get so many emails it's possible she never even saw your email. Even if she's not top-tier it's very likely that she was overwhelmed with mail that she couldn't handle corresponding with anyone new. Heck, I don't respond quite often for that reason.Maybe take a different approach the 2nd time...if it was short and witty the first time, give her something with a little more substance this time. If you wrote two paragraphs last time then go short and witty with one question this time. I'd avoid saying anything about your first contact...why remind her you weren't interesting enough to warrant a reply the first time? If you sent nothing but a "Hey Gorgeous, wanna chat"...then yeah, keep workin' on that game.

 

[OC Zed]

After months of non-responses and four or five dates with crazy and/or flakey chicks, I was about to give up on Match. A few weeks ago I semi-randomly winked at a tall, attractive chick (too lazy at this point to invest the time to put together an e-mail) and got an e-mail response back from her. After exchanging a couple more e-mails and a chat on the phone, we decided to meet up for drinks at my favorite date bar (dark, posh & slightly romantic without being too stuffy). Although she has plenty of photos on her profile, I'm really skeptical of the veracity of all the photos on Match by now. She, however, turned out to be just as hot in person. It turns out she's a former model with a big-time modeling agency and also spent time as an NFL cheerleader. Oh, and she's also pretty smart and completely down-to-earth. An amazing chick all-around.

I thought our first date went pretty well... plenty of good conversation and she made it clear to me that she wanted to go out again. We scheduled a second date for the following weekend to go to Oktoberfest which also turned out to be pretty fun and eventually stretched into dinner at a quaint little Italian place in town. The end of the date comes and she says she'd love to go out again. But it's been almost a couple weeks now since Date #2 and Date #3 has been postponed a couple times because of our schedules (mostly on her end). Based on our conversations, I'd be a little surprised if she's blowing me off. Although I have a hunch she might again cancel our tentative date for this Saturday. If that happens, I'm ready to move on.

A couple funny things about me and this chick...

Although I consider myself reasonably attractive and a pretty good catch (well-educated, pretty good career, nice, honest, etc.), physically, I'm a 5'8" skinny white guy. This chick is black and 5'10". Visually, we look a lot like this couple or this couple. Truthfully, I'm probably much closer to the former dude and she's much closer to the latter chick.



Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.



I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

 

[EYLive]

Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me. I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

You've gone out a few times. If you're not jumpy&quo by now, it's not going to get better I don't think.Sometimes the groin is not attracted to the people the brain tells us we should be attracted to.

 

[Early_10]

Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

You've gone out a few times. If you're not jumpy&quo by now, it's not going to get better I don't think.Sometimes the groin is not attracted to the people the brain tells us we should be attracted to.

This. It's there from the start or it doesn't happen in my experience. I've only been out with 2 guys that made me have to catch my breath. They've all been attractive.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

After months of non-responses and four or five dates with crazy and/or flakey chicks, I was about to give up on Match. A few weeks ago I semi-randomly winked at a tall, attractive chick (too lazy at this point to invest the time to put together an e-mail) and got an e-mail response back from her. After exchanging a couple more e-mails and a chat on the phone, we decided to meet up for drinks at my favorite date bar (dark, posh & slightly romantic without being too stuffy). Although she has plenty of photos on her profile, I'm really skeptical of the veracity of all the photos on Match by now. She, however, turned out to be just as hot in person. It turns out she's a former model with a big-time modeling agency and also spent time as an NFL cheerleader. Oh, and she's also pretty smart and completely down-to-earth. An amazing chick all-around.

I thought our first date went pretty well... plenty of good conversation and she made it clear to me that she wanted to go out again. We scheduled a second date for the following weekend to go to Oktoberfest which also turned out to be pretty fun and eventually stretched into dinner at a quaint little Italian place in town. The end of the date comes and she says she'd love to go out again. But it's been almost a couple weeks now since Date #2 and Date #3 has been postponed a couple times because of our schedules (mostly on her end). Based on our conversations, I'd be a little surprised if she's blowing me off. Although I have a hunch she might again cancel our tentative date for this Saturday. If that happens, I'm ready to move on.

A couple funny things about me and this chick...

Although I consider myself reasonably attractive and a pretty good catch (well-educated, pretty good career, nice, honest, etc.), physically, I'm a 5'8" skinny white guy. This chick is black and 5'10". Visually, we look a lot like this couple or this couple. Truthfully, I'm probably much closer to the former dude and she's much closer to the latter chick.



Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.



I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

Why not? Sounds like you enjoy her company and she yours. Not everything has to lead to a LTR and it doesn't sound like you have much else going on right now, so see her when you can - doesn't mean you can't keep looking elsewhere because she definitely isn't taking up too much of your time at this point. There are worse things than having fun with a gorgeous, smart woman whose company you enjoy. Don't shut the door for no reason.As for the chemistry/attraction thing - or lack thereof - I agree that sometimes it can be developed over time and there seem to be enough good things with this lady to give it a shot. I think you could be a little intimidated - as someone who has outkicked his coverage a few times, I've been there - and that could be blocking your being attracted to her a bit (as could the exoticism of her race).

On another note, someone needs to write her

 

[skillz]

After months of non-responses and four or five dates with crazy and/or flakey chicks, I was about to give up on Match. A few weeks ago I semi-randomly winked at a tall, attractive chick (too lazy at this point to invest the time to put together an e-mail) and got an e-mail response back from her. After exchanging a couple more e-mails and a chat on the phone, we decided to meet up for drinks at my favorite date bar (dark, posh & slightly romantic without being too stuffy). Although she has plenty of photos on her profile, I'm really skeptical of the veracity of all the photos on Match by now. She, however, turned out to be just as hot in person. It turns out she's a former model with a big-time modeling agency and also spent time as an NFL cheerleader. Oh, and she's also pretty smart and completely down-to-earth. An amazing chick all-around.

I thought our first date went pretty well... plenty of good conversation and she made it clear to me that she wanted to go out again. We scheduled a second date for the following weekend to go to Oktoberfest which also turned out to be pretty fun and eventually stretched into dinner at a quaint little Italian place in town. The end of the date comes and she says she'd love to go out again. But it's been almost a couple weeks now since Date #2 and Date #3 has been postponed a couple times because of our schedules (mostly on her end). Based on our conversations, I'd be a little surprised if she's blowing me off. Although I have a hunch she might again cancel our tentative date for this Saturday. If that happens, I'm ready to move on.

A couple funny things about me and this chick...

Although I consider myself reasonably attractive and a pretty good catch (well-educated, pretty good career, nice, honest, etc.), physically, I'm a 5'8" skinny white guy. This chick is black and 5'10". Visually, we look a lot like this couple or this couple. Truthfully, I'm probably much closer to the former dude and she's much closer to the latter chick.



Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.



I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

Why not? Sounds like you enjoy her company and she yours. Not everything has to lead to a LTR and it doesn't sound like you have much else going on right now, so see her when you can - doesn't mean you can't keep looking elsewhere because she definitely isn't taking up too much of your time at this point. There are worse things than having fun with a gorgeous, smart woman whose company you enjoy. Don't shut the door for no reason.As for the chemistry/attraction thing - or lack thereof - I agree that sometimes it can be developed over time and there seem to be enough good things with this lady to give it a shot. I think you could be a little intimidated - as someone who has outkicked his coverage a few times, I've been there - and that could be blocking your being attracted to her a bit (as could the exoticism of her race).

On another note, someone needs to write her

This. Just hang out with her and have a good time. Sounds like she may be seeing others as well anyway given all the postponements on her end. If she was really into you she'd find the time for more dates. I get the sense she's keeping you in the rotation with some other guys - that's an unfortunate reality of the internet dating game. Just have fun with it and keep your options open with her and any other women that come your way.

 

[OC Zed]

Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

You've gone out a few times. If you're not jumpy&quo by now, it's not going to get better I don't think.Sometimes the groin is not attracted to the people the brain tells us we should be attracted to.

This. It's there from the start or it doesn't happen in my experience. I've only been out with 2 guys that made me have to catch my breath. They've all been attractive.

Based on personal experience, I totally disagree here. I've had past relationships where the attraction was nil when I first met her and had it grow significantly over time. And, of course, I've seen quite the opposite.

 

[OC Zed]

After months of non-responses and four or five dates with crazy and/or flakey chicks, I was about to give up on Match. A few weeks ago I semi-randomly winked at a tall, attractive chick (too lazy at this point to invest the time to put together an e-mail) and got an e-mail response back from her. After exchanging a couple more e-mails and a chat on the phone, we decided to meet up for drinks at my favorite date bar (dark, posh & slightly romantic without being too stuffy). Although she has plenty of photos on her profile, I'm really skeptical of the veracity of all the photos on Match by now. She, however, turned out to be just as hot in person. It turns out she's a former model with a big-time modeling agency and also spent time as an NFL cheerleader. Oh, and she's also pretty smart and completely down-to-earth. An amazing chick all-around.

I thought our first date went pretty well... plenty of good conversation and she made it clear to me that she wanted to go out again. We scheduled a second date for the following weekend to go to Oktoberfest which also turned out to be pretty fun and eventually stretched into dinner at a quaint little Italian place in town. The end of the date comes and she says she'd love to go out again. But it's been almost a couple weeks now since Date #2 and Date #3 has been postponed a couple times because of our schedules (mostly on her end). Based on our conversations, I'd be a little surprised if she's blowing me off. Although I have a hunch she might again cancel our tentative date for this Saturday. If that happens, I'm ready to move on.

A couple funny things about me and this chick...

Although I consider myself reasonably attractive and a pretty good catch (well-educated, pretty good career, nice, honest, etc.), physically, I'm a 5'8" skinny white guy. This chick is black and 5'10". Visually, we look a lot like this couple or this couple. Truthfully, I'm probably much closer to the former dude and she's much closer to the latter chick.



Second, even though this chick has that rare combination of being both hot and beautiful, I don't know whether I'm really attracted to her. I don't get it. It's totally bizarre. I don't know whether it's because she's black (never dated a black chick before), or if I'm intimated because of her looks and height, or if there simply isn't chemistry for me.



I think chemistry can be created over time, so I'm definitely willing to go out with her again to see where things lead... assuming, of course, she still has any interest in me.

Why not? Sounds like you enjoy her company and she yours. Not everything has to lead to a LTR and it doesn't sound like you have much else going on right now, so see her when you can - doesn't mean you can't keep looking elsewhere because she definitely isn't taking up too much of your time at this point. There are worse things than having fun with a gorgeous, smart woman whose company you enjoy. Don't shut the door for no reason.As for the chemistry/attraction thing - or lack thereof - I agree that sometimes it can be developed over time and there seem to be enough good things with this lady to give it a shot. I think you could be a little intimidated - as someone who has outkicked his coverage a few times, I've been there - and that could be blocking your being attracted to her a bit (as could the exoticism of her race).

On another note, someone needs to write her

This. Just hang out with her and have a good time. Sounds like she may be seeing others as well anyway given all the postponements on her end. If she was really into you she'd find the time for more dates. I get the sense she's keeping you in the rotation with some other guys - that's an unfortunate reality of the internet dating game. Just have fun with it and keep your options open with her and any other women that come your way.

Ya, not surprisingly, she flaked out on me again today. I'm not big on playing games, so I'm ready to move on at this point.

 

[ffjunk]

Thought I'd post this in this thread.



Youtube but some NSFW language so turn the volume down a bit.

 

[Early_10]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

I'd lock that one up before some lucky lady snatches him. at that link ffjunk.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Oof. He's either not very smart or was extremely drunk when he wrote that (or both).Is "hun" a Canadian thing? "Hon" is used a lot in Baltimore where I'm from.

 

[pricklypete]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Oof. He's either not very smart or was extremely drunk when he wrote that (or both).Is "hun" a Canadian thing? "Hon" is used a lot in Baltimore where I'm from.

Maybe he's a waitress in a greasy spoon.

 

[Early_10]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Oof. He's either not very smart or was extremely drunk when he wrote that (or both).Is "hun" a Canadian thing? "Hon" is used a lot in Baltimore where I'm from.

Your guess is as good as mine. I know we add a lot of "u"'s but...

 

[Gadzooks]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Good luck hun.

 

[Zow]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

He'd have been better off mentioning pedophiles.

 

[Early_10]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Good luck hun.

Luck is relative. Met a chiroprator for lunch. Feeling very loose this afternoon.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

 

[EYLive]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Good luck hun.

Luck is relative. Met a chiroprator for lunch. Feeling very loose this afternoon.

OH YEAAAAH!! At least you get responses.

What do you guys suppose the ratio of men:women is at these sites? 10:3?

I signed up for OKcupid last week. Much nicer than POF, but still not much going on.

 

[Keys Myaths]

This was a lot of fun the first time around...

 

[jason12vb]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

Cancel your account hun...guarantee you get at least 3 emails within 48 hours.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

Cancel your account hun...guarantee you get at least 3 emails within 48 hours.

This is the second time I have used Match, the first time nada, cancelled my account then *magic* started getting emails so unless things change in the next week I'm going to cancel again for good.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Also gotta love getting "daily matches" from match.com and most are even though in all my searches I don't include and I'm not myself. Guess they think I'm Christo.

 

[Christo]

Also gotta love getting "daily matches" from match.com and most are even though in all my searches I don't include and I'm not myself. Guess they think I'm Christo.

You wish.

 

[OC Zed]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

 

[Time Kibitzer]

Also gotta love getting "daily matches" from match.com and most are even though in all my searches I don't include and I'm not myself. Guess they think I'm Christo.

You wish.

Am I right to assume you absolutely kill on the online dating scene? It seems to have quite the number of BBW's.

 

[Das Boot]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

Maybe he's a history major and just really into the Huns.And kids of course too.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Match is a major letdown. Heard from a new guy there, asked him how his weekend was. Response:

no not much house work and took my bike for a ride hun how about you i have 3 kids myself hun i like your profile i am looking for a honest woman i am a very honest man i am not into head games hun life is to short i have to tell you hun you are a very pretty looking woman i am new at this dating sights hu you have a good evening hun my kids are my life hun i love kids to death '

"hun" For the life of me I can't get a response on Match.com while having zero issues on any other dating site. I'm shuked.

I am completely in the same boat. Women on Match can be extremely choosy because there are hundreds of guys chasing after a relatively few number of attractive women. For me, I think it's a combination of things. I know I get dismissed right away because I have a kid (this sucks, but I understand). I've also seen a lot of women that won't even give me the time of day over relatively trivial issues like height (I'm 5'8"). My subscription runs through December. After that, I think I'm going to give E-Harmony a try.

That's not a trivial issue to many women. I don't quite understand the 6'0 minimum so many women seem to have but it's there. Don't sweat it too much. As long as you maintain your confidence you'll find a catch at some point.

 

[Christo]

Also gotta love getting "daily matches" from match.com and most are even though in all my searches I don't include and I'm not myself. Guess they think I'm Christo.

You wish.

Am I right to assume you absolutely kill on the online dating scene? It seems to have quite the number of BBW's.

Target rich environment. It's a role reversal. Could have multiple first dates per week. I get to pick and choose.

 

[skillz]

Just signed up...3 months. What's the best first step??Eharmony

I just finished a six month tour of duty on eharmony this week. Will have to post a summary of my experiences when I get a bit more time. Overall, I liked the site. It was the only site I have tried though - never did match or any others. My tipson't do the icebreakers. I never did. Just go ahead and send out questions to the matches you find interesting and see if you get a response. Don't go right to email on eharmony even though that is an option. The communication phase can take a bit of work but if you have any decent game you can get them to the email phase and get a meeting lined up. At that point, you have a good sense of what they like, don't like and can take things from there. Don't be shy about sending out the questions. If they don't answer just move on to another. Carefully review their pics. Whatever their worst pic is on their profile that is what you should go by. Also beware of those who only provide headshots unless your taste in women is like Christo's.Good luck and have fun with it.

 

[skillz]

Also you will get a bunch of matches each day at the beginning. Don't go crazy closing out people. Just archive those that are maybes. Over time your matches will get less per day so you may want to go back to some of those you archived and try to make contact with them.