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What about the questions on OK Cupid? Do you answer them all privately or not? I don't want to seem like I am hiding something but I also don't want women knowing that I am really looking for something short-term instead of long-term. Is it best to answer some publically and some privately so the women know a bit about me from the answers but don't know everything about my desire for seeing them on a short-term basis rather than long-term. I'd rather get them out and on a date to figure all that out vs. getting screened or filtered out by someone I could click with due to the answers she sees.

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What about the questions on OK Cupid? Do you answer them all privately or not? I don't want to seem like I am hiding something but I also don't want women knowing that I am really looking for something short-term instead of long-term. Is it best to answer some publically and some privately so the women know a bit about me from the answers but don't know everything about my desire for seeing them on a short-term basis rather than long-term. I'd rather get them out and on a date to figure all that out vs. getting screened or filtered out by someone I could click with due to the answers she sees.

Women will scan every possible piece of publicly available information about you before the first date. Only answer publicly what you're absolutely comfortable with any chick seeing. You can answer a bunch privately to improve matching, but keep the public stuff tightly controlled and only if every one paints you in the best possible light.

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Oh, and the girl I've been seeing since March that I met on OKC is pretty much done, so, looks like I'll be firing up the old account in earnest after this week. Gonna be out there with you guys soon enough. :D

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...

Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Pretty likely.

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Maybe she got your license plate #?... or saw your home address (followed you home)... or you replied to her and she got your email address... or you paid with a credit card and she saw your name...Regardless, she's 23, tall, blonde, hot... if you gotta have a stalker, I say you're doing it right! :banned:

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What about the questions on OK Cupid? Do you answer them all privately or not? I don't want to seem like I am hiding something but I also don't want women knowing that I am really looking for something short-term instead of long-term. Is it best to answer some publically and some privately so the women know a bit about me from the answers but don't know everything about my desire for seeing them on a short-term basis rather than long-term. I'd rather get them out and on a date to figure all that out vs. getting screened or filtered out by someone I could click with due to the answers she sees.

Any questions I answer I make public. I can see answering a few privately but for the most part you should make it public if you're going to answer it. There are so many women out there who gives a rat's backside if your answers scare a few off. There are plenty more than will love your answers or flat out not care. Edited by Dr. Awesome

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Maybe she got your license plate #?... or saw your home address (followed you home)... or you replied to her and she got your email address... or you paid with a credit card and she saw your name...Regardless, she's 23, tall, blonde, hot... if you gotta have a stalker, I say you're doing it right! :banned:
Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Maybe she got your license plate #?... or saw your home address (followed you home)... or you replied to her and she got your email address... or you paid with a credit card and she saw your name...Regardless, she's 23, tall, blonde, hot... if you gotta have a stalker, I say you're doing it right! :banned:
Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Oh my....

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Maybe she got your license plate #?... or saw your home address (followed you home)... or you replied to her and she got your email address... or you paid with a credit card and she saw your name...Regardless, she's 23, tall, blonde, hot... if you gotta have a stalker, I say you're doing it right! :banned:
Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.

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Oh geez... the 23-year old blonde I went out with today sent me a friend request on facebook. I have no idea how she found me on there. I never told her my last name, nor gave her my e-mail address. She's got my cell phone number, but you can't google that and get a name, right? And we have one mutual friend, and it's someone I would never have guessed. She's only been living here 4 months, very strange...Ok the only guess I have is... our mutual friend is very active in some alcoholics anonymous type group at his church. The blonde has on her profile that she doesn't drink, so is it possible that when she moved here she signed up for this group and met him there? How likely is it that she would be an alcoholic at 23?

Maybe she got your license plate #?... or saw your home address (followed you home)... or you replied to her and she got your email address... or you paid with a credit card and she saw your name...Regardless, she's 23, tall, blonde, hot... if you gotta have a stalker, I say you're doing it right! :banned:
Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.
We worked together for 5 yrs, played softball together, and went to see a couple of shows together. He's had some rough times, and I certainly wouldn't want to steal a girl away from him. He deserves a good break.He looks about 15 yrs older than me, so when she says she likes older men... Right now I'm just hoping that maybe "very well" means he's her sponsor for the AA group and that "last night" was at a group meeting. :unsure:

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Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.
We worked together for 5 yrs, played softball together, and went to see a couple of shows together. He's had some rough times, and I certainly wouldn't want to steal a girl away from him. He deserves a good break.He looks about 15 yrs older than me, so when she says she likes older men... Right now I'm just hoping that maybe "very well" means he's her sponsor for the AA group and that "last night" was at a group meeting. :unsure:
Ok, it seems clear that he knows her from the support group. He was deliberately vague though, I guess out of respect for her privacy. So now I'm trying to figure out if he's got something going on with her, and we'll go from there.

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Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.
We worked together for 5 yrs, played softball together, and went to see a couple of shows together. He's had some rough times, and I certainly wouldn't want to steal a girl away from him. He deserves a good break.He looks about 15 yrs older than me, so when she says she likes older men... Right now I'm just hoping that maybe "very well" means he's her sponsor for the AA group and that "last night" was at a group meeting. :unsure:
Ok, it seems clear that he knows her from the support group. He was deliberately vague though, I guess out of respect for her privacy. So now I'm trying to figure out if he's got something going on with her, and we'll go from there.
If he were dating her he'd say something. Next time you see her ask her how she knows your friend. Then drop the subject.

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Her: I think I'm technically under 5'11" but taller than 5'10" so I use them kinda interchangeably. Oh well.

Me: Haha, it's ok either way. I think you're beautiful.

Her: Thank you! I think you are very cute as well.

Me: Thanks! Maybe I should stop over after basketball ;) haha, kidding!

Her: Silly. You'd have to get by my tough little watch dog first.

Me: Not to mention take a shower. I'd better stop for doggie treats on the way home.

Her: Haha

Gonna let it drop now until she texts me again. Playing basketball from 8-10pm tonight so that will help.

Dude, you totally blew that. Neg down?
Yeah, that was bad. At least he didn't use Bucky's "horizontal" suggestion though. Oof.

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Her: I think I'm technically under 5'11" but taller than 5'10" so I use them kinda interchangeably. Oh well.

Me: Haha, it's ok either way. I think you're beautiful.

Her: Thank you! I think you are very cute as well.

Me: Thanks! Maybe I should stop over after basketball ;) haha, kidding!

Her: Silly. You'd have to get by my tough little watch dog first.

Me: Not to mention take a shower. I'd better stop for doggie treats on the way home.

Her: Haha

Gonna let it drop now until she texts me again. Playing basketball from 8-10pm tonight so that will help.

Dude, you totally blew that. Neg down?
Yeah, that was bad. At least he didn't use Bucky's "horizontal" suggestion though. Oof.
What was so bad about it? She likes older guys, so she probably appreciates someone being straightforward and assertive. Seemed to work pretty well.

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What about the questions on OK Cupid? Do you answer them all privately or not? I don't want to seem like I am hiding something but I also don't want women knowing that I am really looking for something short-term instead of long-term. Is it best to answer some publically and some privately so the women know a bit about me from the answers but don't know everything about my desire for seeing them on a short-term basis rather than long-term. I'd rather get them out and on a date to figure all that out vs. getting screened or filtered out by someone I could click with due to the answers she sees.

Women will scan every possible piece of publicly available information about you before the first date. Only answer publicly what you're absolutely comfortable with any chick seeing. You can answer a bunch privately to improve matching, but keep the public stuff tightly controlled and only if every one paints you in the best possible light.
Yesno.Just skip the questions you're not comfortable with. When they see "answered privately" next to some questions, they will assume (rightfully) you have something to hide.There are a ton of questions on that thing. No one answers all of them.

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Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.
We worked together for 5 yrs, played softball together, and went to see a couple of shows together. He's had some rough times, and I certainly wouldn't want to steal a girl away from him. He deserves a good break.He looks about 15 yrs older than me, so when she says she likes older men... Right now I'm just hoping that maybe "very well" means he's her sponsor for the AA group and that "last night" was at a group meeting. :unsure:
Ok, it seems clear that he knows her from the support group. He was deliberately vague though, I guess out of respect for her privacy. So now I'm trying to figure out if he's got something going on with her, and we'll go from there.
If he were dating her he'd say something. Next time you see her ask her how she knows your friend. Then drop the subject.
Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

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Ok so I e-mailed my friend this morning at work and asked him how he knew this girl. Here was his reply:

Hmm. Well this is interesting. I believe that I know her very well. Saw her last night. May I ask how it is that you know her?

:unsure:
Unless this is a really good friend, you should have left well enough alone and not asked questions you don't want answered. Just roll with the punches and live life a little. Just tell him you shared a milkshake with her.
We worked together for 5 yrs, played softball together, and went to see a couple of shows together. He's had some rough times, and I certainly wouldn't want to steal a girl away from him. He deserves a good break.He looks about 15 yrs older than me, so when she says she likes older men... Right now I'm just hoping that maybe "very well" means he's her sponsor for the AA group and that "last night" was at a group meeting. :unsure:
Ok, it seems clear that he knows her from the support group. He was deliberately vague though, I guess out of respect for her privacy. So now I'm trying to figure out if he's got something going on with her, and we'll go from there.
If he were dating her he'd say something. Next time you see her ask her how she knows your friend. Then drop the subject.
Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.
When you ask her you'll get a good chunk of information. If you're lucky it's just the AA connection. There's probably a romantic history between 'em. She's in her early 20's, in AA, and goes gaga for the daddy types. It's safe to toss her in the 'issues' category. Rattle the hornets nest as little as possible. Enjoy the ride. It'll end soon enough.

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Her: I think I'm technically under 5'11" but taller than 5'10" so I use them kinda interchangeably. Oh well.

Me: Haha, it's ok either way. I think you're beautiful.

Her: Thank you! I think you are very cute as well.

Me: Thanks! Maybe I should stop over after basketball ;) haha, kidding!

Her: Silly. You'd have to get by my tough little watch dog first.

Me: Not to mention take a shower. I'd better stop for doggie treats on the way home.

Her: Haha

Gonna let it drop now until she texts me again. Playing basketball from 8-10pm tonight so that will help.

Dude, you totally blew that. Neg down?
Yeah, that was bad. At least he didn't use Bucky's "horizontal" suggestion though. Oof.
What was so bad about it? She likes older guys, so she probably appreciates someone being straightforward and assertive. Seemed to work pretty well.
Complimenting a girl on her looks this early in the game just isn't the best play imo. If she's good looking, she hears this enough from guys. And making it obvious that her looks are why you're interested just makes things more difficult.

Instead of the generic you're beautiful/hot/pretty, compliment her on something specific (ideally eyes or smile) in an intimate moment.

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When you ask her you'll get a good chunk of information. If you're lucky it's just the AA connection. There's probably a romantic history between 'em. She's in her early 20's, in AA, and goes gaga for the daddy types. It's safe to toss her in the 'issues' category. Rattle the hornets nest as little as possible. Enjoy the ride. It'll end soon enough.

This.

I wouldn't even ask. Just mention noticing a mutual friend, and leave it at that. Gauge her reaction.

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When you ask her you'll get a good chunk of information. If you're lucky it's just the AA connection. There's probably a romantic history between 'em. She's in her early 20's, in AA, and goes gaga for the daddy types. It's safe to toss her in the 'issues' category. Rattle the hornets nest as little as possible. Enjoy the ride. It'll end soon enough.

This.

I wouldn't even ask. Just mention noticing a mutual friend, and leave it at that. Gauge her reaction.

Roger that.

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.
He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.
He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?
Ask him if he wants to run a train on her?

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.

So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:

1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it

2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.

He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?
Do you think the bolded means there are other guy interests for her or there are others who have a problem with who she sees?

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.
He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?
Sounds like it's #2 then. if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing. If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then talk to her about it and get her thoughts (Ie where THEY stand). Be honest with your situation and you'll know where things stand from there.

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.

So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:

1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it

2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.

He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?
Do you think the bolded means there are other guy interests for her or there are others who have a problem with who she sees?
I assume it means that she is seeing other guys.

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if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing. If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then do your thing.

Yep. Ignore this chick if he's a good friend. If he's not a close friend he can go screw himself and she's fair game. And remember this advice moving forward - never ask a question unless you're sure you want the answer. Edited by Dr. Awesome

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Well, he said they are friends and have been out. That he has been to her house, and she's been to his. And that he cares about her a lot because he knows what she's going through.So what does that mean? Are they dating? I don't know, so I'm looking for clarification.

The fact that he's a buddy but is being so vague about this girl means one of two things:1) It's the AA thing and he can't disclose it2) He's way more interested in her than she is in him and he doesn't want the competition.
He basically said that he cannot confirm or deny that she's in the group. I told him that was fine, I didn't care about that, just wanted to know if he had a problem with me seeing her. Here was his reply:

Honestly, yes. I have a problem with anyone seeing her other than me. And there are others. But I have no control over the decisions she makes and simply have to accept them as being "it is what it is".

Any (real) advice?
Sounds like it's #2 then. if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing. If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then talk to her about it and get her thoughts (Ie where THEY stand). Be honest with your situation and you'll know where things stand from there.
I wouldn't call him a "good" friend, I guess. It's not like we are in touch a lot or anything. Last time I saw or talked to him him was in January when we went to see a show.Crap...

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if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing. If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then do your thing.

Yep. Ignore this chick if he's a good friend. If he's not a close friend he can go screw himself and she's fair game. And remember this advice moving forward - never ask a question unless you're sure you want the answer.
Well, I asked the question because I wanted the answer. I prefer to have things clear.

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if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing.

If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then do your thing.

Yep. Ignore this chick if he's a good friend. If he's not a close friend he can go screw himself and she's fair game.

And remember this advice moving forward - never ask a question unless you're sure you want the answer.

Well, I asked the question because I wanted the answer. I prefer to have things clear.
Then you shouldn't be dating young crazy chicks with daddy issues.

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Sounds like she has replaced one addiction with another. Have fun.

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We basically agreed to each go about our business and forget the conversation took place.

So I guess I'm clear to proceed. :thumbup:

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We basically agreed to each go about our business and forget the conversation took place.So I guess I'm clear to proceed. :thumbup:

Cool.

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Really enjoyed reading some of the stories in this thread over the past couple days.

When I was in my mid 20's I went through a stretch where I just wanted to bang as many women as possible and my standards were basically they had to have all their limbs. I'd go on Yahoo chat in my free time and to this day I'm astonished at the sheer volume of women that would come over to my condo after a few chats and exchanging pics, have sex and leave. It happened countless times in a 3-4 year stretch. Once they sent a pic, if they were decent looking, I'd put some effort into it, act like I was really interested in what they had to say, chat multiple times over a week or two, and once we had a good rapport, I'd offer to cook dinner. My place would be spotless, I'd have cologne on, candles lit, etc. I'd play the night pretty slow and casual like I had no agenda, and it always led to mind-blowing sex after all that anticipation.

Because I was naive and didn't realize most guys wouldn't put in that kind of effort for some ###, a few of these girls became attached quickly. Two of them I actually did start to date regularly, mostly because I wanted someone to take on weekend trips. Having recently moved to GA, I wanted to check out Hilton Head, TN mountains, gulf coast, etc. These girls had good jobs so they'd split the cost of the trip and I'd have someone to bang during my vacation. Sounds horrible now, but that's all I really cared about. I kind of feel bad for how I treated them, but then again they were dumb whores that I considered completely untrustworthy after how the "relationships" started. They would hint around about meeting my family or getting a key to my place and I'd look at them like they were insane.

The less attractive ones, I'd cut to the chase pretty quickly after some opening banter. "I'm so bored. This is crazy but do you feel like watching a movie?". Maybe 10% would say yes after chatting once, come right over and do the deed. Others I would add to my contact list, chat over the ensuing weeks and about half would end up coming over at some point. I was doing this enough to have a different girl come over 4-5 nights a week if I so desired. Yes, many of the ones in this category had some extra pounds and/or busted faces. I didn't care, I used to smoke a lot of pot and it made me horny as hell. I'd usually finish in the girl's mouth if she was willing and close my eyes and picture a hotter girl. I considered it an advantage with the scratch n' dents that they were generally much more pliable to make up for what they lacked in looks. A good number of them took it up the pooper. :thumbup:

If a girl sent me a pic and she was really hideous I'd just say, "So, where do you live? I'd love to come over and #### that mouth". Most ceased communication at that point (which was the goal) but a few were like "Okay". :shock: I only went through with it once, with a woman about 8 years older who was not pretty but had an average body. She had an oral fetish which is why she accepted by rude offer, and she blew me until I was sore. And insisted on doing it on her apartment balcony. I had no idea I could reload that many times in a 4-hour period, though honestly it was almost pointless after #3.

It was a fun hobby and I laugh about it mostly now. As a married guy I can say I'm glad I got it out of my system when I was young and single.

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a woman about 8 years older who was not pretty but had an average body.

:lmao:Also, welcome. :thumbup:

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Time to dip my toe into this thread and see what happens.

I'm about a month into using OKCupid. Four dates total with three different girls. It's been real hit or miss at this point. With only one first date in the last 18 years, I feel like I held my own. The one girl that I had two good dates with, went from texting me in the middle of the night about sex questions to not responding to my texts at all. So I'm moving on there.

My opening question to this group, and I apologize that I haven't read the entire thread yet, is how does POF compare to OKCupid, and is match.com worth paying for at this point?

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So far for me, POF looks like a bunch of fat, ugly hefers.

OKCupid is slightly better.

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My opening question to this group, and I apologize that I haven't read the entire thread yet, is how does POF compare to OKCupid, and is match.com worth paying for at this point?

At this point in your idating career? No. Might as well exhaust the free options first. In the Dallas area, match is almost overwhelming. I never paid for it.I spent most of the early days of this thread on POF. Some decent options, but I did better at bars. Three years later I tried some of the social apps (Whoshere, Loopt Mix). After wearing those out, I tried OkCupid. That was my favorite as far as quality and compatibility matching goes. A year and a half later, and I'm still with a "94% match" girl.

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if he's a good friend and you're not 100% that this chick is "THE ONE" then back off and let him do his thing.

If he's just a casual buddy and you kinda dig this chick but don't care about him getting pissy, then do your thing.

Yep. Ignore this chick if he's a good friend. If he's not a close friend he can go screw himself and she's fair game.

And remember this advice moving forward - never ask a question unless you're sure you want the answer.

Well, I asked the question because I wanted the answer. I prefer to have things clear.
Then you shouldn't be dating young crazy chicks with daddy issues.
:goodposting:

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Why don't we have pics of this chick yet?

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So far for me, POF looks like a bunch of fat, ugly hefers.OKCupid is slightly better.

My opening question to this group, and I apologize that I haven't read the entire thread yet, is how does POF compare to OKCupid, and is match.com worth paying for at this point?

At this point in your idating career? No. Might as well exhaust the free options first. In the Dallas area, match is almost overwhelming. I never paid for it.I spent most of the early days of this thread on POF. Some decent options, but I did better at bars. Three years later I tried some of the social apps (Whoshere, Loopt Mix). After wearing those out, I tried OkCupid. That was my favorite as far as quality and compatibility matching goes. A year and a half later, and I'm still with a "94% match" girl.
Thanks guys.Stu, I kind of figured that. Pretty lucky to be in this area when it comes to single women. I hate the mobile app on POF, and don't really spend that much time on either sight in front of my computer. I did three days on match, and was spammed more than the other sites combined. The quality on match seems better, but OKC really seems better about compatibility.

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Time to dip my toe into this thread and see what happens.I'm about a month into using OKCupid. Four dates total with three different girls. It's been real hit or miss at this point. With only one first date in the last 18 years, I feel like I held my own. The one girl that I had two good dates with, went from texting me in the middle of the night about sex questions to not responding to my texts at all. So I'm moving on there.My opening question to this group, and I apologize that I haven't read the entire thread yet, is how does POF compare to OKCupid, and is match.com worth paying for at this point?

I went back and forth between POF and OKCupid for 2 years or so. I'd spend a month or two on POF, run out of people I was interested in, then jump over to OKC. By the time that site ran its course, there was a whole new pool of intriguing fish back on POF....repeat as necessary. Eventually I ended up meeting the "girl of my dreams"....A 97% match on OKC.As someone who was looking for someone significant, I personally liked OKCupid more than POF for their matching and questions...but there are definitely more active people on POF. IMO, you will find just as high of quality of women on OKC or POF as you will on Match, but you will find way more at the opposite end on the free ones and they can be tough to find.My suggestion....start with the free sites. Online dating has a learning curve, might as well learn the ropes before sticking money into a site. Then again, I'm convinced Match has some unethical practices going on to get you to pay or keep paying (fake profiles). Edited by jason12vb

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Really enjoyed reading some of the stories in this thread over the past couple days.When I was in my mid 20's I went through a stretch where I just wanted to bang as many women as possible and my standards were basically they had to have all their limbs. I'd go on Yahoo chat in my free time and to this day I'm astonished at the sheer volume of women that would come over to my condo after a few chats and exchanging pics, have sex and leave. It happened countless times in a 3-4 year stretch. Once they sent a pic, if they were decent looking, I'd put some effort into it, act like I was really interested in what they had to say, chat multiple times over a week or two, and once we had a good rapport, I'd offer to cook dinner. My place would be spotless, I'd have cologne on, candles lit, etc. I'd play the night pretty slow and casual like I had no agenda, and it always led to mind-blowing sex after all that anticipation. Because I was naive and didn't realize most guys wouldn't put in that kind of effort for some ###, a few of these girls became attached quickly. Two of them I actually did start to date regularly, mostly because I wanted someone to take on weekend trips. Having recently moved to GA, I wanted to check out Hilton Head, TN mountains, gulf coast, etc. These girls had good jobs so they'd split the cost of the trip and I'd have someone to bang during my vacation. Sounds horrible now, but that's all I really cared about. I kind of feel bad for how I treated them, but then again they were dumb whores that I considered completely untrustworthy after how the "relationships" started. They would hint around about meeting my family or getting a key to my place and I'd look at them like they were insane.The less attractive ones, I'd cut to the chase pretty quickly after some opening banter. "I'm so bored. This is crazy but do you feel like watching a movie?". Maybe 10% would say yes after chatting once, come right over and do the deed. Others I would add to my contact list, chat over the ensuing weeks and about half would end up coming over at some point. I was doing this enough to have a different girl come over 4-5 nights a week if I so desired. Yes, many of the ones in this category had some extra pounds and/or busted faces. I didn't care, I used to smoke a lot of pot and it made me horny as hell. I'd usually finish in the girl's mouth if she was willing and close my eyes and picture a hotter girl. I considered it an advantage with the scratch n' dents that they were generally much more pliable to make up for what they lacked in looks. A good number of them took it up the pooper. :thumbup: If a girl sent me a pic and she was really hideous I'd just say, "So, where do you live? I'd love to come over and #### that mouth". Most ceased communication at that point (which was the goal) but a few were like "Okay". :shock: I only went through with it once, with a woman about 8 years older who was not pretty but had an average body. She had an oral fetish which is why she accepted by rude offer, and she blew me until I was sore. And insisted on doing it on her apartment balcony. I had no idea I could reload that many times in a 4-hour period, though honestly it was almost pointless after #3. It was a fun hobby and I laugh about it mostly now. As a married guy I can say I'm glad I got it out of my system when I was young and single.

fml :kicksrock:

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As a a guy that's in the middle of a separation, I would like to thank you all for passing along your wisdom. This thread will my manual pretty soon, but I'm definitely soaking in all the tips! :thumbup:

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As a a guy that's in the middle of a separation, I would like to thank you all for passing along your wisdom. This thread will my manual pretty soon, but I'm definitely soaking in all the tips! :thumbup:

every once in a while, we all need a little manual.

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As a a guy that's in the middle of a separation, I would like to thank you all for passing along your wisdom. This thread will my manual pretty soon, but I'm definitely soaking in all the tips! :thumbup:

every once in a while, we all need a little manual.
:goodposting: And I love soaking my tip.

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