***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)

[OC Zed]

is she hot?

No, not anywhere close. I would put her at a 4 on the offdee scale, and that is being generous considering my disdain for her.

4: Not attractive. Major flaws start piling up (overweight, blemishes, etc.)http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk161/offdee/offdee%20Scale/TOS4c.jpg

At least she seems like a nice person... I can get the part about not being attracted, but why the loathing?

She is an evil person (it's not just me that thinks this). Former coworker. I started a thread about a week ago about an ex that "tore me up". She we heavily involved in that situation.Long story short, I thought she was a friend and we would have a lot of conversations. She would take that information and report it via email or text to the ex-husband of the girl I was dating. She was pretty much a spy. That girl's ex would then jump all over her about this or that. Turns out she wanted to get with the ex-husband, but he was just using her for information.

Ya, that sounds like a legit reason.Oof.

 

[PitbullTD]

So I had to ditch the 19yr old. I just couldn't get past the Taylor Swift talk, High School Musical talk, and....Ooohhh Shiney! It all felt wrong on so many levels.

It was the first time I've ever had the left/right angel/demon talking in my head thing.

It was awful. Probobly gonna take a few days to stop feeling like a dirty old man/potential chomo.

On another note...In my various drunken stupors I have setup to meet two girls at the same function at the same time....what could possibly go wrong?

 

[Guster]

I've been single for a little over a week. Banged 3 different chicks already

When it rains, it pours. There are sure to be droughts around the corner

Gonna slow down my pace a bit and start trying to up the quality.

 

[Guster]

So the girl that is #4 on my match% is one of my friends. I've tried to make a play on her before with absolutely no luck. One of our mutual friends is playing an acoustic show tonight and she was here for a bit. Our friends kinds ended up pushing us together for a chat, so we talked for a little, but still don't have a feeling that I can take this anywhere. She isn't the hottest chick in the world, but she has so much personality and charisma that it's actually surprisingly attractive. She more pretty than cute if that makes sense and I usually got for cute. Anyway, chatted with her a bit and tried to see if I could work anything, but no luck. Still Efforting, but this may be a long play

 

[Guster]

And yes. I'm drunk on a tuesday

 

[Bogart]

 

[Guster]

and why are there so many fat chicks in my area on POF? It's stupid

OKC and Match have a normal distribution, but it's like somehow POF attracts fat chicks at an alarming rate. Maybe because fish is food and so it makes them more comfortable. Or maybe it's the word plenty. I get a little excited when I get a message on POF and then I go check it out and the chick is just huge. Oof

 

[Major]

So the girl that is #4 on my match% is one of my friends. I've tried to make a play on her before with absolutely no luck. One of our mutual friends is playing an acoustic show tonight and she was here for a bit. Our friends kinds ended up pushing us together for a chat, so we talked for a little, but still don't have a feeling that I can take this anywhere. She isn't the hottest chick in the world, but she has so much personality and charisma that it's actually surprisingly attractive. She more pretty than cute if that makes sense and I usually got for cute. Anyway, chatted with her a bit and tried to see if I could work anything, but no luck. Still Efforting, but this may be a long play

cool story, bro!

 

[Guster]

So the girl that is #4 on my match% is one of my friends. I've tried to make a play on her before with absolutely no luck. One of our mutual friends is playing an acoustic show tonight and she was here for a bit. Our friends kinds ended up pushing us together for a chat, so we talked for a little, but still don't have a feeling that I can take this anywhere. She isn't the hottest chick in the world, but she has so much personality and charisma that it's actually surprisingly attractive. She more pretty than cute if that makes sense and I usually got for cute. Anyway, chatted with her a bit and tried to see if I could work anything, but no luck. Still Efforting, but this may be a long play

cool story, bro!

I love drunk posting

 

[ChainsawU]

Headed out to get DRINKS

 

[ChainsawU]

 

[ChainsawU]

professional soccer player

/thread

 

[OC Zed]

professional soccer player/thread

What? What now? Is she actually straight? :dih:

 

[ChainsawU]

She went on a date with me..

 

[ChainsawU]

We sat and talked for 2.5 hrs.

It's not like that Peppermint Patty commercial.

 

[ChainsawU]

it don't even matter because I'm single and lovin' it and the french don't have no word for entrepreneur

 

[OC Zed]

it don't even matter because I'm single and lovin' it and the french don't have no word for entrepreneur

You're not very good at this.

 

[Major]

it don't even matter because I'm single and lovin' it and the french don't have no word for entrepreneur

You're not very good at this.

 

[zed2283]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

 

[zed2283]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

What'd you say?

My first e-mail was "Hey, what's up?" and she replied "Really? That's your opening line?" So I went back and read her profile (which I didn't do the first time) and it said something like "if all you have to say is 'what's up?' then don't bother." So I tried to follow up with a little self-deprecating humor about doing exactly what her profile said NOT to do, and that was the response I got.

 

[Major]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

What'd you say?

My first e-mail was "Hey, what's up?" and she replied "Really? That's your opening line?" So I went back and read her profile (which I didn't do the first time) and it said something like "if all you have to say is 'what's up?' then don't bother." So I tried to follow up with a little self-deprecating humor about doing exactly what her profile said NOT to do, and that was the response I got.

haha..you should've waited a few days and wrote her back with just "sup?"

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Alright, time for me to step back into the dating world. It's been about a year since I was laid/went on a date. I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm not looking for a fling. I'm simply looking to make some memories and have some fun stories to share. Shtick ideas are welcome and encouraged. On all fronts. If I find a woman along the way who piques my interest that's great. If not, we're sure as hell going to have a lot of fun!

I just created my profile on okcupid but have yet to fill in any of the blanks. Time to shop!

 

[Das Boot]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

You should take on the challenge of trying, now, to bed this filly.

 

[No. 16]

Alright, time for me to step back into the dating world. It's been about a year since I was laid/went on a date. I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm not looking for a fling. I'm simply looking to make some memories and have some fun stories to share. Shtick ideas are welcome and encouraged. On all fronts. If I find a woman along the way who piques my interest that's great. If not, we're sure as hell going to have a lot of fun!I just created my profile on okcupid but have yet to fill in any of the blanks. Time to shop!

Wait wait.I've been laid more times than you this year and I was taking dating advice from you?

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Alright, time for me to step back into the dating world. It's been about a year since I was laid/went on a date. I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm not looking for a fling. I'm simply looking to make some memories and have some fun stories to share. Shtick ideas are welcome and encouraged. On all fronts. If I find a woman along the way who piques my interest that's great. If not, we're sure as hell going to have a lot of fun!

I just created my profile on okcupid but have yet to fill in any of the blanks. Time to shop!

Wait wait.I've been laid more times than you this year and I was taking dating advice from you?

Didn't even try. I went on a tear immediately after I broke up with my ex, even playing sex bingo with a couple friends. Last date I went on the girl said I seemed bored with both the date and dating in general. I was. Then withdrew from the social scene for a long while. Dating, partying, hanging out in general. I traveled a bit. Worked a lot. Didn't feel like I missed anything and really enjoyed the time to myself. I'm extremely confident I gave great advice and I've still got it. But we'll find out soon enough. If it makes you feel any better, my shtick has led me to Disco Stu-ian levels. My advice has worked well for me and some of my friends (but not all). I'm telling you, the world of online dating is extremely easy as long as you're not hideous or creepy. Just fired off a message to some chick who visited my profile. Looks to be a busty 6. She just asked why I don't have a picture. I should get around to that. And we're off!

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Some chick sent me a message. Who knew swc was a woman?I mentioned on my profile not liking the volume for anything ending in a 1, 4, 6, or 9.

Hi and I think it's funny about the number thing I have some thing like that I dont like my sound ending in an odd number it bugs the hell out of me

I'm not sure what kind of shtick to roll with on this one as she sure as hell doesn't deserve a real response.Also found a 19 year old who claims she's only looking for friends with benefits. Despite being 30 and our match percent being low and enemy percent high, I have little shame and sent her message asking her favorite punk band. Fired out a few other messages. We'll see how it goes.

 

[zed2283]

Just signed up for match. What do you guys normally say on a first email??I sent 2 emails. Now we wait.

"Hey, what's up?"

 

[Major]

Just signed up for match. What do you guys normally say on a first email??I sent 2 emails. Now we wait.

"Hey, what's up?"

If it's during draft time, I often copy and paste my latest draft and brag about getting a WR1 in the 3rd round.

 

[Sarnoff]

Ugh...I'm not good at these introductory emails. Do you guys write novels if the girl puts a ton of info down on her profile? I try to comment on 2-3 things buried in there to look like I actually read it. What do you do when they're really short profiles?

Aim for five sentences, six max. Seriously. Pick one thing to ask a question about, and that's it. Save one for a follow-up message. Save the rest for the first meet.

 

[ChainsawU]

Just be sincere. That's what works for me. No schtick in the first couple emails just to play it safe.

I told a girl sincerely I thought she looked like Giada de Laurentiis and got a pretty good response.

Every girl is different and has a different "feel" to me, to use a sports handicapping analogy.

Also, know that you are in this dating thing for the long term. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Within a few weeks & months I guarantee you will be more comfortable with it. In the meantime just relax and be patient.. it's good to be excited but don't get too worked up or attached to little details.

 

[ChainsawU]

Ugh...I'm not good at these introductory emails. Do you guys write novels if the girl puts a ton of info down on her profile? I try to comment on 2-3 things buried in there to look like I actually read it. What do you do when they're really short profiles?

Aim for five sentences, six max. Seriously. Pick one thing to ask a question about, and that's it. Save one for a follow-up message. Save the rest for the first meet.

To loosely quote Johnny Carson, "Don't leave the interview in the backstage hallway."

 

[Sarnoff]

Ugh...I'm not good at these introductory emails. Do you guys write novels if the girl puts a ton of info down on her profile? I try to comment on 2-3 things buried in there to look like I actually read it. What do you do when they're really short profiles?

Aim for five sentences, six max. Seriously. Pick one thing to ask a question about, and that's it. Save one for a follow-up message. Save the rest for the first meet.

How do you end your emails? Is a "Chat soon." good?

Ick, no, "chat soon" seems a little weird. Presumptuous or something, like you're jumping a step ahead or too anxious. Others may disagree but that's what I think offhand. 'Cheers', 'later', or just '-Bucky' would be better IMHO.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Just read a profile where a chick listed 15 different things she's looking for in a man.

On one hand, it's good she knows what she wants. On the other hand, avoid women with a huge list of demands in a man. The guys above me are right - keeping it short and simple is the smart play for most women.The 19 year old has me doubting she's 19. Her latest response: haha. youre entertaining. what do i want from guys? umm, well right now im not looking for a boyfriend. im lookiing for a friends with benfits more type. a guy whos able to take me our to dinner if we choose to and buy me a pack of ciggs. i dont ask for much.and what do you want in a woman? Thinking about dropping this one from my queue. Then again, if she's actually 19... Also sent a message to some chick who is 90% my enemy but her pictures are hard to see. Looks like she might be some chick my buddy used to date. No reason but to say hi.The first chick I was chatting with stopped responding. Looks like I dropped the ball somehow. Ce la vie. Chatting with a few women but have tentative plans to grab drinks with some 32 year old next week. She's also hinted she'd be game for coming over and watching Breaking Bad after I was raving about the show.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Ugh...I'm not good at these introductory emails. Do you guys write novels if the girl puts a ton of info down on her profile? I try to comment on 2-3 things buried in there to look like I actually read it. What do you do when they're really short profiles?

Aim for five sentences, six max. Seriously. Pick one thing to ask a question about, and that's it. Save one for a follow-up message. Save the rest for the first meet.

This is great advice. 4 out of the last 5 messages I sent probably combine into 2 solid sentences. If chicks think you're a potential catch you'll get a response. If they don't, you won't. Ask a quick question aside from 'sup and that should suffice.

 

[Socrates11]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

The correct reply was "So I suppose a bj is out of the question?"

 

[zed2283]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

The correct reply was "So I suppose a bj is out of the question?"

 

[Major]

Here's a reply I got early on. Thought I'd share:

Your sense of humor is intensely irritating. The fact that I replied to you AT ALL should have indicated to you that I was giving you a 2nd chance to impress me after your immature email. But you just blew your 2nd chance too.I'm very disappointed in you because I AM attracted to you. But stupidity FAR outweighs your good looks. Too bad for you. Next time, don't try for someone so far out of your league unless you have the brains to back up your balls.

The correct reply was "So I suppose a bj is out of the question?"

If any iGirl comes across that ####y she deserves a retort along these lines

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Are the Russian girls hookers?

Last five initial messages I've sent:I like the cut of your jib. Are you a SoCal native?According to this whole match thing, you are apparently my arch nemesis. I wanted to say hi! Which of us gets to be the good guy? Granted, I've only played the penis game once, but I kicked sooo much ### at it I've never been challenged again. Aside from that, what kind of ocd are we talking about? Cute 'did I leave the stove on' type thoughts or a debilitating line of Rainmain type stuff?Greetings, fellow insomniac! Why are you up so late?I HAVE VIEWED YOUR PROFILE AND AM NOW SAYING SOMETHING. Two responses back. Breaking Bad chick is coming over tomorrow night to meet/watch Breaking Bad and I assume fool around.

 

[Major]

Are the Russian girls hookers?

Last five initial messages I've sent:

I like the cut of your jib. Are you a SoCal native?

According to this whole match thing, you are apparently my arch nemesis. I wanted to say hi! Which of us gets to be the good guy?

Granted, I've only played the penis game once, but I kicked sooo much ### at it I've never been challenged again. Aside from that, what kind of ocd are we talking about? Cute 'did I leave the stove on' type thoughts or a debilitating line of Rainmain type stuff?

Greetings, fellow insomniac! Why are you up so late?

I HAVE VIEWED YOUR PROFILE AND AM NOW SAYING SOMETHING.

Two responses back. Breaking Bad chick is coming over tomorrow night to meet/watch Breaking Bad and I assume fool around.

I hope you're holding, yo!

 

[Major]

You guys make this sound so easy. I've sent 25 emails and have only had 1 response. She seems foreign, but haven't progressed it to an in-person date yet.

If you're a fattie and/or , it's going to be an uphill battle. I recommend winning her with your romance, charm and wunderkind wit if that's the case.

 

[Sarnoff]

Take it easy for now. Put some work into coming up with a "formula" for your messages that works. That, and it's really a numbers game. 1 in 25 isn't that bad to start with. Once you start perfecting your pitch, you'll get that ratio up, but honestly I think on some sites 1 reply in 10 is the best anyone can do.

1st message: Quick, funny, lighthearted, 5-6 sentences. Pick one specific thing in her profile and ask to hear more about it.

She replies, wait until the next day, 2nd message: Another short, lighthearted note. If she asks a question, answer it and ask one back. Otherwise, ask a follow up question or pick something else in her profile to ask about. In my experience, online women are horrible at giving you a lead to write back on... they're terrible at asking questions back so you kind of have to shoehorn one in sometimes.

She replies again. She's interested. Wait until the next day and ask her out, finish up whatever the ongoing conversation is in a sentence or two, then say something like: "Anyway, as much fun as this website is, I find I can really get to know a person better in one hour over drinks than a bunch of back-and-forth emails. So let's meet Monday (or whatever M/Tu/W/Th weeknight is about three days away) night after work at (insert some low-key dive bar with darts or a pool table closer to your place than her part of town), about 8. Shoot me a text at 123-456-7890 and we'll figure out details." (if you're in L.A., change up that wording a little bit, I may have over-used it some )

That's it. The keys are 1) have a good profile that hits the right notes, and 2) read her whole profile so you can tailor that first message. You'll be sending out a ton of them at first, but once you hone it down you'll be seeing better results. I started out with a ratio similar to yours, but eventually worked out a formula that improved on that. After a month and a half or so, I would send 5 new messages a day and was meeting with 2-3 new girls a week. And I'm a .

 

[Sarnoff]

Got it. How quickly to most girls reply? This one girl replied within 13 hours. The others than haven't replied have been about 1-2 days. Are they definitely not writing me?

Usually 3 days at the most if she's interested. Sometimes more. The girl I'm currently seeing took two weeks to reply, and 2-3 other girls were about the same.But don't wait for any one to write back. Send out 5 new messages a day until your social calendar is full. Keep finding new girls. You're going to get a lot of rejections, and a lot of no-answers, whatever, water off a duck's back. Just shrug it off and keep checking new girls out. You should send a message and forget 'em, don't go hoping any one specific chick writes back. You have to develop that attitude or you won't go far. Always have something developing. A deep bench, if you will. There are about a thousand reasons women don't write back. Don't take any of that personally. Don't go pining after any one chick. Remember it's really a numbers game.

 

[Major]

You guys make this sound so easy. I've sent 25 emails and have only had 1 response. She seems foreign, but haven't progressed it to an in-person date yet.

If you're a fattie and/or , it's going to be an uphill battle. I recommend winning her with your romance, charm and wunderkind wit if that's the case.

Not a fattie....I've never considered myself a Maybe LA girls are just super picky?

tell them you're a 'producer'

 

[Terpman22]

If you can write well, craigslist is way easier.

 

[Sarnoff]

You guys make this sound so easy. I've sent 25 emails and have only had 1 response. She seems foreign, but haven't progressed it to an in-person date yet.

If you're a fattie and/or , it's going to be an uphill battle. I recommend winning her with your romance, charm and wunderkind wit if that's the case.

Not a fattie....I've never considered myself a Maybe LA girls are just super picky?

tell them you're a 'producer'

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/596842076.html

i'm a producer dammit, why won't women have sex with me?!Date: 2008-03-05, 4:22PM PSTfor the life of me, i can't seem to figure out what's going on here. i did all the things that i thought i was supposed to do to put myself in position to score ungodly amounts of hollywood poon. i got an undergrad degree in business from nyu. then i move to LA and complete the Peter Stark producing program at USC. while there i take full advantage of the networking and resume building connections that such an educational stint provides. i graduate and get a job with a major studio. i have a business card with my name on it. under my name is my job title."producer."so where are the legions of young starlets aching for me to tongue-f### their puckered brown-eyes?i mean, look, when i was 15 i read robert evans' autobiography, "the kid stays in the picture." there i was, short, mildly chubby, pimple-faced, cursed with a hideous jewfro, unable to get even a nut massage from the homeliest looking humans at horace mann in possession of v#####s, but i figured that if portly, profusely perspirating gasbags like don simpson can have b####es cat-fighting over who gets to blow the next rail off of his diseased c##k, certainly i can get laid modestly well if i became a producer.now i go out to parties and clubs and tell women that i'm a producer and they look at me as if i told them that i have f#####g SARS! every night ends with me cruising pornotube at 3am in search of just the right clip to sufficiently inspire me to rub one out into a goldtoe nylon sock.WTF?!

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

Just signed up for match. What do you guys normally say on a first email??I sent 2 emails. Now we wait.

"Hey, what's up?"

If it's during draft time, I often copy and paste my latest draft and brag about getting a WR1 in the 3rd round.

Major is a funny guy.

 

[Terpman22]

If I PM my description could someone help punch it up for me? I'm better in person, but have a hard time getting my personality across in my profile...

Wish I could. My looks is what usually gets me in the door though Girls love the caveman look I got

 

[Dr. Awesome]

If I PM my description could someone help punch it up for me? I'm better in person, but have a hard time getting my personality across in my profile...

Shoot. I'll send you a PM of my profile. As you can see, it's nothing amazing. But it works. You're probably overthinking yours.

 

[Guster]

one girl i just stumbled upon wrote in her interests that she like haikus, so i wrote one as my opening message to her. should be interesting to see if that works or not

 

[Major]

one girl i just stumbled upon wrote in her interests that she like haikus, so i wrote one as my opening message to her. should be interesting to see if that works or not

this thread is worthless w/o your haiku.