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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (10 Viewers)

strykerpks said:
I had a bit of a health scare a few weeks ago. Spent the night in the ER with chest pains, arm numbness etc. I was really scared.

Had a good follow up with my primary doc and then an echo cardiogram on Wednesday. Got the message yesterday that there's no issue with heart function. 

It's been a while since I've had a good cry. That was a good one. Pay attention to your body, peeps.  :grad:
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Glad to hear you're doing well.  Did they decide it was a panic attack or something?

 
RC94 said:
I find cookie cutter neighborhoods where your house looks the same as the others depressing, but they do set up some comedy too. 
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I’d love to tell you it was because they look the same...but their house is a different size, shape, trim, and color.

The confusion arose from their having a red car parked in their driveway that I thought was Mr. krista’s red car.  

:bag:  

 
krista4 said:
Last night I sat in my car an embarrassingly long time before figuring out that the reason the garage door wasn't opening was that I was in my neighbor's driveway rather than my own.  And actually it was opening and closing as I feverishly hit the remote, which caused Mr. krista (inside the house) to wonder WTF was going on.
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Post of the month. 

 
We used to tell sharting stories in here. Now we tell parking in the wrong driveway stories. Yep, we are definitely aging.

Back to sharting stories soon!

 
kevzilla said:
We used to tell sharting stories in here. Now we tell parking in the wrong driveway stories. Yep, we are definitely aging.

Back to sharting stories soon!
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Some active pooping stories in the Ran a 10k thread, but sharting will always be a special part of GMTAN 

 
Muscle-car auction going on in Portland right now. GM needs to get down there and pick up an old El Camino to shlep the kids around.

 
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My review of this food cart:

Dear Momma's Grub,

As a long time fan of spicy food I wanted to commend you for your bold strategy of serving "the real deal" at your food truck.

I have eaten raw and grilled habaneros, insanely hot jalapenos from the mercado in Mazatlan, Thai food with so many Birdseye peppers it was almost inedible and even once challenged an Indian food chef (dot, not feather) to "make it super hot". That last one was a mistake.

I ordered, with confidence, your sweet and spicy habanero chicken fusion tacos. Might I suggest a name change to sweet and spicy habanero chicken NUCLEAR fusion tacos.

No sooner than right after my first bite i experienced an immediate swelling of my tongue and face region, general numbness of the upper body and redness of all exposed skin. My coworker asked if I was allergic to anything. I assured him that these tacos were ####in awesome.

After my second bite i lost all feeling in my hands, feet and entire body regions. This surprised me as a veteran of many many spicy meals. Usually it takes a few minutes to sort of sneak up on you but apparently your company has perfected an accelerant to speed delivery of the capsicum molecules directly through the body's cell walls.

I must say I was impressed with your technological advances and am considering recommending you to the department of defense biological warfare division.

Since I was already numb and still starving i decided to soldier on and finished both tacos in the fewest bites possible. Each humongous bite was followed by crying and profuse sweat, especially of the general facial regions.

Being an old hand, I knew a trick to immediately stop the burn of habanero; take a pinch of salt and put it under your tongue, the heat stops in 5 seconds. So I went to the lunch room and grabbed the salt. I put a pinch in and apparently your technician knew this trick as well and put a chemical blocker in his accelerant formula, because nothing happened. I ended up eating half a shaker of salt before finally giving up.

A short while later I had the sudden urge to go to the toilet. It was here that the genius of your Nobel prize winning chemist really shined. As I ran to the toilet frantically trying to get my clothes off and sit down I also had the sudden and ballistic urge to urinate. At the point of contact I experienced something I've never felt before. I had the sensation of hot lava exploding from the rear while simultaneously firing a super heated laser beam through my urethra. This was also accompanied with unending tears as mentioned previously. At one point i hallucinated flying a dragon shooting fire in all directions as I attacked the people of the sun.

I feel much better now several hours later and have no desire to eat food in the next week or two so I wanted to thank your chemist for helping in my weight loss goals.

Sincerely,

Tommyboy

Portland

 
i've got a monthly Thursday morning meeting at 8:30 AM. not my choice. the main guy who needs to be there was late this week. i asked if we should continue without him or re-schedule and the response was "he walks to work. must be stuck in traffic this morning."  :blink: 

 
GroveDiesel said:
See, you didn't know. I've said it zero times. But it's now on my list to watch 👍
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The premise is that Tig Notaro doesn’t know anything about pop culture. Like, anything.  In real life. 

So celebrities come on her talk show and she tries to figure out who they are. 

 
What The F*** Facts‏  Verified account @WhatTheFFacts 14m14 minutes ago

100,000 Japanese disappear without trace every year, many to save their honour after a divorce, job loss, failing an exam or debt.

whoa. 

 
just got an email from "daniel noonan".

appropriate answer here, I assume, is "you shave your ###".  but might go with one of the obvious ones "no ya don't", "be the ball" or just "noonan".

 
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