What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

How much have you changed since your 20s? (1 Viewer)

If you haven't changed significantly, do you wish that you had, but you just failed in making necess

  • I have changed significantly.

    Votes: 67 56.3%

  • I have not changed significantly, but I desperately wish I could.

    Votes: 6 5.0%

  • I have not changed significantly, but there's no reason to.

    Votes: 39 32.8%

  • I have not changed significantly, but I don't care.

    Votes: 7 5.9%
  • Total voters
    119
Gary Coal Man

Gary Coal Man

Footballguy
How similar are you to the person you were in your twenties?

Obviously we've all changed and hopefully matured, but how much?  Are you essentially the same person?  Are you a variation of that person, but more mature?  Or are you a whole new person?

If you changed significantly, are you embarrassed by what you once were?  Or do you just see that phase as a standard part of growing up?

If you haven't changed significantly, do you wish that you had, but you just failed?

If you're comfortable, provide examples o how much of a trainwreck you were in your twenties?

 
I have a feeling a lot of this is going to have to do with how old you are now - folks in their 80's are going to be a lot different than they were in their 20's vs. someone in their 30's is.  

Personally, I've changed a decent bit.  Not completely.  More mature, make wiser decisions, view life differently.  While I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed by who I was, there are certainly things I'm embarrassed of - life decisions, how I treated certain people and situations, etc.

 
haven't changed at all.

have the same qualities that have helped me to the successes I've achieved, and the same qualities that have always held me back. :shrug: aside from getting older and more inept, stupid, and :shakesfist: . the same.

 
I wear my heart on my sleeve, but i shonuff hate others to even guess that's the case. Because i was so topheavy & frantic as a youngster, i roiled over how much of myself i gave away. Look at Frank Morgan, the Wizard of Oz, to whom my looks are often compared. Was he ever young?! If he was, he made sure he got old pretty quick so he could be who he was. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. My inscrutable implacability is my greatest strength, gave me riches at the poker table, stopped women from asking what i was thinking and that was kept from me until i had the face i deserved. People don't like me as much, but i make up for it by loving me ultimately. nufced

 
I have not changed significantly, but there's no reason to.

Kids have changed me a bit, but not drastically. I got married at 23, still happily married 20 years later. 

Trying to think how I might have changed, and I really don't see anything significant.

Edit - maybe my political views have changed a bit. I'm more libertarian "live and let live" now.  Maybe less judgemental. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm sure lots of people have stories that can trump mine, but I was kind of a mess.

  • I spent time in jail for drunk-driving.
  • I almost got kicked out of the US Navy twice (and had my security clearance revoked for awhile).
  • I had countless unpaid (and barely looked at) parking and speeding tickets. 
  • I had a reputation for dating other men's wives.
  • I wasn't exactly abusive of women, but I definitely wasn't doing them any good.
  • When I got out of the Navy, I had a hard time holding down a job.
  • I had no business doing so, but I got married and had kids.
And that's what changed me. It took many years to happen, but it started sinking in that other people were depending on me, and that I wasn't just representing myself, but my family. Others could be drastically and devastatingly affected by my choices - people that I loved and cared about. Gaining that maturity slowly and surely changed who I was - made me more responsible and then more empathetic. Of course there are things about me that are still very much the same (like my  sense of humor and my tastes in food and entertainment, for instance), but I'm unrecognizable from myself in my 20's in a lot of ways. People who knew me then will even remark on it. 

 
I have not killed anyone in my 30's, 40's, 50's, or yet in my 60's.  I am heavier, gray, and my hearing is going.  I have replacement parts and metal several places.  I am the same guy, but less intense. 

 
I'm 41 and over the last few years, I have changed drastically, IMO.

As for my personality, I'm probably still the same (tiger can't change it's stripes and all that).  But my outlook, attitude, desires, plans, etc. have almost all changed since I was 29.

I have 2 kids fast approaching teen years, a shifting career and a wife of 19 years who has also changed a lot over that time.  I'd like to kick 20's me in the ### and get me going on the right path, but I'm sure that meandering experience I went through will provide some benefits from time to time.  Still would have like to have done several things differently.

 
60 years old. Lost a couple of internal body parts. But essentially the same. Matured to the point I no longer drive with a cold one and when I have to buy weed I stash it in a sealed jar for the ride home.

 
I'm 46, and I'm basically the same person I was in my 20s.  If anything, I'm a distilled version of that person in the sense that I've embraced personality quirks like introversion and over-emphasis on punctuality and just made them part of my real life shtick.  I do have a better relationship with my wife now than I did then, due to maturation on both of our parts.

 
The bendy parts of my body hurt all the time now for the most part.

Little less hair in the right places, and a little more in the wrong places.

Appreciate time more.

Other than that, pretty much the same.

 
Not really changed. I’ve always known what is important but now it’s even more front and center in my life. 

If anything in my 50’s I’m more content and comfortable in my own skin. 

 
My 20's were an unmitigated disaster. Depression, porn addiction, booze, destructive relationships, parents got divorced and then mom slowly died from cancer. Much more balanced life now,  mature, know how to maintain healthy friendships,  spiritually healthy. Somehow came out of it with a BA and a law degree. Only good thing to come out of my 20's. 

 
I've changed vastly. Actually, change itself was the most constant thing about my internal life during my 20s - and all the way up until 44 or so. 

I am diagnosed with bipolar - tho, that is such a really broad and debatable term, it really does not mean much, imo. 

I am 50 now, and have been in a mostly good and consistent place for the past 5 years. Life is currently wonderful. 

Regarding past embarrassment and regret - yeah, I got plenty. But, I voted #2 (on question 2) - as, I have finally forgiven myself for my previous errors. 

They still bug me, but primarily as a way to learn - do not repeat. 

I don't know how much I will change in the future, but at present, things are well balanced. 

 
In my 20s, I was cocky and brash at work, had no style and didn't care. I had no empathy for people and what they dealt with in life. If someone needed therapy, drinking, drugs, religion or anything else to cope, I considered them weak-minded. Looking back, I'd say I was also in sort of an ignorant bliss where nothing bothered me. At 40, I have style, am more outgoing and confident with women, and I have empathy. But I'd kind of like to get back to that ignorant bliss.

 
El Floppo said:
haven't changed at all.

have the same qualities that have helped me to the successes I've achieved, and the same qualities that have always held me back. :shrug: aside from getting older and more inept, stupid, and :shakesfist: . the same.
Click to expand...
this

except i'm shocked at how much stupider i have grown over time

 
Despyzer said:
I'm sure lots of people have stories that can trump mine, but I was kind of a mess.

  • I spent time in jail for drunk-driving.
  • I almost got kicked out of the US Navy twice (and had my security clearance revoked for awhile).
  • I had countless unpaid (and barely looked at) parking and speeding tickets. 
  • I had a reputation for dating other men's wives.
  • I wasn't exactly abusive of women, but I definitely wasn't doing them any good.
  • When I got out of the Navy, I had a hard time holding down a job.
  • I had no business doing so, but I got married and had kids.
And that's what changed me. It took many years to happen, but it started sinking in that other people were depending on me, and that I wasn't just representing myself, but my family. Others could be drastically and devastatingly affected by my choices - people that I loved and cared about. Gaining that maturity slowly and surely changed who I was - made me more responsible and then more empathetic. Of course there are things about me that are still very much the same (like my  sense of humor and my tastes in food and entertainment, for instance), but I'm unrecognizable from myself in my 20's in a lot of ways. People who knew me then will even remark on it. 
Click to expand...
Thanks for your honesty, man.  I feel like I've made so many mistakes in life that I've put myself behind the eight ball with almost no wiggle room to get out.  Hearing other people talk about how they were able to redeem themselves from comparable or even worse situations is inspiring.  It helps alleviate the "woe is me" or "I'm irredeemable mindsets".

Thanks for sharing, and best wishes in continued success in your "new" life.

 
Yankee23Fan said:
The bendy parts of my body hurt all the time now for the most part.

Little less hair in the right places, and a little more in the wrong places.

Appreciate time more.

Other than that, pretty much the same.
Click to expand...
I can relate to that bolded part.  I'm in my early-40s and recently did a day of yard work, and the next day I felt like I had just battled Brock Lesnar in the cage.  Something the twenty-something me would never even consider.

 
Man of Constant Sorrow said:
I've changed vastly. Actually, change itself was the most constant thing about my internal life during my 20s - and all the way up until 44 or so. 

I am diagnosed with bipolar - tho, that is such a really broad and debatable term, it really does not mean much, imo. 

I am 50 now, and have been in a mostly good and consistent place for the past 5 years. Life is currently wonderful. 

Regarding past embarrassment and regret - yeah, I got plenty. But, I voted #2 (on question 2) - as, I have finally forgiven myself for my previous errors. 

They still bug me, but primarily as a way to learn - do not repeat. 

I don't know how much I will change in the future, but at present, things are well balanced. 
Click to expand...
Thank you for this post.  I'm having a difficult time with regret over past mistakes; but, you're right, I need to view them as life lessons rather than regrettable mistakes I'll never fully recover from.

 
I had a pretty messed up childhood and not enough ambition to match my ability, so I pretty much coasted through my 20s and early 30s. 

I discovered personal development at age 35. My life has changed drastically in every way in the last 8 years, career, friends, marriage and health. 

And on the point about regret. I feel like I am a better leader because I can identify with people that are in the mental place where I was. I know how to  help them realize their potential and that is fun to be a part of. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Pretty much the same guy I've always been but don't do or say most of the stupid things I did/said when I was younger.   The biggest change is that I used to be religious and true believer in God.   Now I am pretty sure that death is final and there is no afterlife.  I hope that I am wrong but I don't think so.

 
The Duff Man said:
I had a pretty messed up childhood and not enough ambition to match my ability, so I pretty much coasted through my 20s and early 30s. 

I discovered personal development at age 35. My life has changed drastically in every way in the last 8 years, career, friends, marriage and health. 

And on the point about regret. I feel like I am a better leader because I can identify with people that are in the mental place where I was. I know how to  help them realize their potential and that is fun to be a part of. 
Click to expand...
Thanks for this post too.  Lots of great advice here.

Could you elaborate on this "personal development" you discovered?

 
It depends on what part of my 20s.  When I was 21, I was in college still, along with everything that goes by that. 

By the time I was 29, I was pretty much the same guy I am now, 15 years later.  I owned a house, have the same job (different company but same general thing), my of at the time is now my wife.  She had a kid at the time - he was maybe 7, and now we have kids together.  I had a boat then, don't have one now.  I killed time on a fantasy football message board then, and well...

Biggest difference is my politics.  I used to be conservative.  Now, I'm probably closer to liberal than anything.

 
Gary Coal Man said:
How similar are you to the person you were in your twenties?

Obviously we've all changed and hopefully matured, but how much?  Are you essentially the same person?  Are you a variation of that person, but more mature?  Or are you a whole new person?

If you changed significantly, are you embarrassed by what you once were?  Or do you just see that phase as a standard part of growing up?

If you haven't changed significantly, do you wish that you had, but you just failed?

If you're comfortable, provide examples o how much of a trainwreck you were in your twenties?
Click to expand...
in my 20's i was for the first time in my life starting to make real money and i liked beer, a lot.   I also got into smoking weed, and eventually i started buying it in bulk and distributing it to friends and neighbors.  I got married.   I bought a house.   By my late 20's early 30's i was content, buzzed, and relatively wealthy for my age.  I was also out of control with drinking and smoking weed daily.  My marriage suffered, i got fat, lost ambition and basically was just existing.   Eventually i pissed enough people off with my drinking and drugging, and even though we tried for a couple years, couldn't produce a child.  Finally after one of many "episodes", I blew off our Anniversary due to being wasted.  My wife threatened to leave me.   I quit, and got counseling.  I've slipped a few times over the last 20+ years, but i've left that life behind.   

at age 51, i have 4 kids, a 24 year marriage, 2 jobs and a lot of responsibility.  I'm not interested in my old life at all.  This new life is so much easier.  Main thing I realized is we have a lot more capacity for work than we realize.  Most people think 35-40 hour weeks is enough.  I've been putting in 60-70 hours for the last 11 years.   I still make time for my wife and kids, and I still have time to go goof off from time to time, but I have everything I need.  I'd like to retire in the next 5-7 years and spend the next 10 years growing the company I own outside of my career.  I'm still the same dude I was before, just sober and more grown up and focused.   If I had to go back and do my 20's over again, i'd learn how to drink responsibily, I'd invest in commercial real estate and I'd have bought my house as soon as I got out of college.   I'd also have saved max amounts in my 401k, which at that time I didn't.   

 
Almost exactly the same except much more successful. Never lost any hair and always worked out. It kinda sucks because everyone recognizes me and I have no clue who they are.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

GordonGekko
What Are Things That You Wished You Had Done Sooner In Life? (20/30)
Replies
7
Views
455
Gally
G
GordonGekko
How Much Food Does Your Household Waste On A Regular Basis? (7/30)
Replies
22
Views
692
jhib
jhib
GordonGekko
Is Life Much Harder While Being Very Attractive Or Being Very Unattractive? (24/30)
Replies
31
Views
980
offdee
offdee

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top