Age 15 Album: "Metal Circus" EP - Hüsker Dü
i wormed my way into Regis High - partial scholarship for my grades, and they had a summer work program that helped defray a bit of the tuition, as well. for those not familiar with the school, it is regarded as the best private option in the City, if not the State ... if not the country. pretty slick admissions schtick, i had to sit and innerview with faculty and staff and a few alum and students. in short, they're selective as #### ... but there i was.
getting the letter of admission was not exactly the greatest day of my life, though ... gotta admit, i was used to being a big fish in a small pond in gramnar school ... top academically, class prez, tons of friends, and Maggie Terhune as my graduation squeeze - life was good!
but Regis was gonna be a whole 'nother ball of wax ... i was probably one of the last on the "IN" list, and i knew the playing field was gonna be stacked as #### against me. hey, i was a very bright kid, but this was the cream of the nerd/geek/whizz kid crop - meh.
we weren't very well off (to put it mildly), my dad passed in '78, and mom struggled to barely scrape by. she turned to her brother Patrick for some relief on the tuition ... seeing as how he was never married, and had no kids, it was an easy lean. he was a good man ... cold as ####, but a decent and hard working salt o'the earth type. lived with his "lady friend" for some 40 years - we never met her, or even saw her - uncle Pat never allowed anyone into his home. full stop/case closed. mom called on him for help with our dental work, and in going clothes shopping for the coming school years, and he always obliged ... he made a decent living as being head boiler tech/maintenance at Roosevelt Hospital. nice bucks for the tradesman.
so i was covered, and steeled myself for the challenge. Freshman year was brutal - i was far too distracted with my gf being in a co-ed public high school, and getting attention from those meatwads who never met her ... she was a hit, and i knew tons of rat bastids would be chasing her. she made JV cheerleader with ease, and was even called up to cheer Varsity a couple times during the hoops season. she was "popular", to say the least.
my grades barely scraped by, and i was carpeted on at least a half dozen occasions. tutoring was given, and extra credit projects were also dangled ... the Jesuits are an altruistic bunch
this summer the inevitable happened - my hot as #### gf moved on, snatched by some two bit baseball player from the east side (what folks call Turtle Bay, 'round the U.N. building). he had a car. he had long blonde hair (ok, shoulder length, but still) ok, Mags ... GFY!
we started drifting apart due to the pressures of that first year for me ... i was so wrapped in just trying to tread water - i aced Latin and Theology, but the rest was kaput. i couldn't see her as often as i would've liked - i had to bear down and work hard, and mom reminded me every ####in' second about how much her and uncle Pat were "investing" in me.
i started to really pursue the punk and alternative music a few years earlier ... she (my ex) hated it, called it "neanderthal" - she was a classic rock chick, loved the Beatles and Jimi the most. we argued about this #### constantly (hey, 13-15 are tough ages to compromise ideals, ya know?
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there was an upperclassmen at Regis by the name of Zook - though we had strict uniform disciplines, he would always be with the pins on his lapel, the pork pie hat (when applicable), SKINNY TIES!, spiked hair, shades, etc. he was the school gadfly on all things cultural - didn't hurt that he was top of his class, ergo, he got a ton of leeway. he travelled a great deal during breaks and vacation ... he even went to the Coast (yep, even though we're right on top of the Atlantic ocean, the "Coast" always meant L.A. - not California, mind you, just L.A.) and always bought back platters and cassetes of the "new ####" happening out there.
i had one friend that freshman year, as none of my 'hood buddies could even dream of sniffing the hallowed halls - so i bonded with a fellow by the name of Ted Rogozinski - my Polish brutha from another mutha - tall, wiry cat from Glendale, Queens. i began busting his balls during attendance, 'cuz they would call on him by his proper name of THADDEUS - haha, can't blame him for shortening to Ted, ya know? we became study partners, and always played intramural hockey and football on the same teams. solid guy.
we both loved the alt music, and he swore up and down that his cousin Slats (always loved that nick) used to hang out with John Cummings (Johnny Ramone) over in Forest Hills. but, eh, whatever. we spent a ton of our time together on the school grounds comparing notes, and swapping albums and cassetes and fanzines, etc. he was the lifeline i needed, especially with the whole Maggie sitch falling apart.
Zook noticed us one day in the caf as we were poring over an old issue of PUNK! (believe it was the first ever release, Tedzo scored it from some cokehead for $5).
he sat with us, and that was a pretty huge ####in' deal ... he was a celebrated upper classman (Jr.) breaking bread with two ne'er do well frosh. prettty stinkin' cool. he went on to blag about all the music and bands and artists he loved and listened to - we couldn't (and wouldn't) get a word in edgewise- he had "Off the Wall" going in his Walkman, and told us it was so "heavy" that he had to carry the cassette around in a wheelbarrow - told us it was so much better than "Thriller" (remember, my frosh year was at the height if MJs career).
he suggested a few Coast bands to look into, told us that Devo was the greatest act to emerge from the whole movement, and left us with a proto sheet of a fanzine he was noodling around with ... said he was gonna start churning out tons of copies, but it never came to fruition.
i loved the punk music, but started to despise all the fashion vics and bolsheviks and bedwwtting bleeding hearts - it was becoming a Stalinist pose, both clothes/style wise, and politically. now, i dig that all art is inherently political in some way shape or form ... especially music, and especially more to DIY/Street ethos/niche music. I GET IT.
but i'm a contrarian bastid, if nothing else ... couldn't see myself going to those extremes - day to day life was hard enough on a personal level, i had zero effs or energy to give to any movement in earnest.
summer of frosh to soph year i got a Mohawk. ehhhh, #### it. despite my prattling above, i wanted to make a dent ... Zook treated us to a showing of "Taxi Driver" at his GFs apartment (she was a waitress, outta school, and had her own place, albeit with two German Valkyrie roommates). oh hey, look at Travis Bickle ... yep, i was hooked. that look inspired me, and i got the same exact 'hawk - not spiked up to the heavens, not multi-colored- just a low and tight bacon strip down the middle.
do i need to say that once Maggie saw this it was curtains? she heard from someone that i did it, and rang our apartment buzzer - i shut the light in the hallway so she couldn't see me proper - but she saw my white scalp GLOWING, and ran so fast it left a scorched path - right to the hotshot, goldilocks second baseman.
Zook's aborted fanzine was talking of Minneapolis, and all the great music coming outta there - Prince was king, but the underground rock scene was flourishing, most notably this power trio by name of Hüsker Dü - gushing over their "Metal Circus" EP ... Zook was away in Europe for the summer, so i wound my way around the various record shops 'til i found it.
DEADLY/DEADLY SKYYYYYYYS - WWAAAAHHHHWWWW
face. #######. ripped.
the power and speed and ferocity and urgency, a volcanic smack in the brain, clocking in well under two minutes.
THIS was what excited me so much about the genre ... as Johnny Ramone mandated: "Hard Fast Rules!" and this tune freaked my ####in' deak like none other. immediately popped it on a 60 min. gold TDK cassette ... looped it over and over for continuous play - one thirty minute side allowed 14 straight listenings!
dug further into them, and saw that they were just three regular looking blokes ... no fashion vics, no "punky" hairdos ... no leather or spikes or chains or dog collars ... etcetcetc.
and the lyrics totally took the piss outta self righteous tvvats who got behind causes just to be behind causes:
" i'd like to protest/but i'm not sure what it's for/i guess i've got no control/over the threat of nuclear war/i made a sign to carry to show that i really care/i've heard it does some good/if television people are there"
brilliant and biting and brilliant.
here was the antidote i was craving - and it satiated me well that summer. i dove deeper into the indie and hardcore scene, found absolute gems that carried me quite a long way ... i would shift to a love of goth and thrash soon after, but Zook and Bickle and Mould/Hart/Norton gave me a summer i'll never forget.
epilogue: i dropped outta Regis in December of that year - wasn't dedicated enough, and mom wouldn't get off my ####in' back about how much it was costing. she was frazzled enough with her father passing away, and losing one of her jobs.
i hooked back up with Maggie after the second baseman dropped the ball - her overture to me was a copy of "Wild in the Streets" by the Circke Jerks for Christmas, because she knew i loved "all that punk ####"
Tedzo became a teacher, moved to Arizona - we still speak once a month or so.
Zook never made it past 21, he was sideswiped one rainy night while changing a tire on rt. 3 in Jersey. his wake/funeral was too much to deal with, i crawled into a bottle of Jack for a few months.
Anyway, one of my finds in 1990 was this one, and it's the closest thing I could think of that fueled my transition from metal to more alt music. There were 2 of us that would listen to this over and over. 
