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Another school shooting (1 Viewer)

ABCNews posted:

Ryan Lanza, 24, brother of gunman Adam Lanza, 20, tells authorities that his younger brother is autistic, or has Asperger syndrome and a "personality disorder." Neighbors described the younger man to ABC as "odd" and displaying characteristics associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
OK, pet peeve here:I have known children who are autistic, and I have known children with Aspergers (though not adults) and it is NOT the same thing. I understand that there is a tendency nowadays to link all such behavior under the "autistic" umbrella, but I suspect this is being done at least somewhat for insurance purposes. Kids that in my youth were termed "hyperactive" and treated with ritalin are now diagnosed as having Aspergers- but they don't suffer from the sort of autism you would associate with Rain Man or special ed classes.
Not to get off track here but Aspergers children can be extremely intelligent. My wife is a gifted teacher at an elementary school and has had a couple of kids with Aspergers that qualified as gifted.
My 23 yr old son has Aspbergers. It's a term that's officially going away soon. They are very gifted kids, they just don't see the world through the same lens we do. I often think that lens is a better lens than mine, as it is rarely too emotional.Everyone of these kids though is extremely different with their own set of issues.

He's worked very hard, got an AA degree in Computer Game programming, and now has a cool programming job and maintains a Navy DB of all the planes in the military and their readiness, something that wasn't done before 9/11.

 
Right or wrong I'm not telling my daughter anytHing
this is going to be my approach as well. sue me.
I see no need to tell my 7 year old about something far away that does not impact her.... Hopefully shell never hear of something so awful ever
I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old. I would like to be like you and just not have to talk about it with them, but I think it's naive to think my kids won't hear about this.
If she somehow talks about it i wont brush it off but im not initiating it out of the blue if that makes sense....
 
It's now being reported that Nancy Lanza, the mom, was found dead at home, not at the school which begs the question who was the killer really targetting.
Yes. They keep bringing us up to date on what they were wrong about in their previous 'let's bring you up to date' announcements.
 
Two women and their two boys that I know live 10 miles from the school. One of the mothers was at her son's kindergarten class volunteering. When the shooting happened, her son's school entered lockdown mode (a neighboring school not the school where the shooting happened). She spent the morning under a desk locked in a classroom with her son and other children. She received updates via her cell phone.

I left work early and hugged my daughter tightly, with tears in my eyes for the families and victims.

Just a sad, unexplainable situation and one of my biggest fears as a mother.

 
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CNN has dr drew on and I'm not reading all these pages. I know most of what happened but can anybody gimme a rundown of Facts.

 
One of my friends, a teacher, passed this along to me. Their district is emailing this to all their parents.

School Tragedy in ConnecticutThe tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut this morning has evoked sadness, grief, anxiety, and anger. Children who are struggling with their thoughts and feelings of the shooting may turn to trusted adults for help and guidance. We offer these suggestions as you talk to your child:• Limit media exposure. Limit your child’s exposure to media images and sounds of the shooting, and do not allow your very young children to see or hear any TV/radio shooting-related messages. Even if they appear to be engrossed in play, children often are aware of what you are watching on TV or listening to on the radio. What may not be upsetting to an adult may be very upsetting and confusing for a child. Limit your own exposure as well. Adults may become more distressed with nonstop exposure to media coverage of this shooting. • What does your child already know? Start by asking what your child/teen already has heard about the event from the media and from friends. Listen carefully try to figure out what he or she knows or believes. As your child explains, listen for misinformation, misconceptions, and underlying fears or concerns. Understand that this information will change as more facts about the event are known.• Gently correct inaccurate information. If your child/teen has inaccurate information or misconceptions, take time to provide the correct information in simple, clear, age-appropriate language.• Encourage your child to ask questions, and answer those questions directly. Your child/teen may have some difficult questions about the incident. For example, he/she may ask if it is possible that it could happen at their school he/she is probably really asking whether it is “likely.” The concern about re-occurrence will be an issue for caregivers and children/teens alike. While it is important to discuss the likelihood of this risk, she is also asking if she is safe.• Be patient. In times of stress, children/teens may have trouble with their behavior, concentration, and attention. While they may not openly ask for your guidance or support, they will want it. Adolescents who are seeking increased independence may have difficulty expressing their needs. Both children and teens will need a little extra patience, care, and love. (Be patient with yourself, too!)
 
Several of the people in my family, including me, have been diagnosed with varying degrees of "autism-spectrum" issues. It never ceases to amaze me how narrow peoples' thinking is with respect to the term autism.
My mother (long-time special ed teacher) says that she believes I'd be "on the spectrum" if I were tested today. She thinks she'd have been "on the spectrum" as well. Things are different today than they were even 20 years ago - I'm 25 now. :shrug: People's mindsets will stop being so narrow after awhile. I guess what I'm trying to say is - it takes time for people to understand.
 
Dr. Awesome, my beef is exactly this: about two minutes ago, on the radio, I just heard the network announcer say, "the suspect's brother reports that the brother had autism." Just like that. No mention of Aspergers, no explanation. Now I have never heard in my entire life of an autistic person committing a crime anything like this, and I don't want to see that taint attached to autism. Furthermore, most Aspergers kids are aware of when they're doing something bad or wrong.
that's the media being stupid and awful and not realizing the harm they are causing (or not caring)
 
ABCNews posted:

Ryan Lanza, 24, brother of gunman Adam Lanza, 20, tells authorities that his younger brother is autistic, or has Asperger syndrome and a "personality disorder." Neighbors described the younger man to ABC as "odd" and displaying characteristics associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
OK, pet peeve here:I have known children who are autistic, and I have known children with Aspergers (though not adults) and it is NOT the same thing. I understand that there is a tendency nowadays to link all such behavior under the "autistic" umbrella, but I suspect this is being done at least somewhat for insurance purposes. Kids that in my youth were termed "hyperactive" and treated with ritalin are now diagnosed as having Aspergers- but they don't suffer from the sort of autism you would associate with Rain Man or special ed classes.
Aspergers is officially inside the autism spectrum so I'm not quite understanding your beef. Is it because the media may not know what the heck they're talking about but in their haste to be first to report the story are saying aspergers or autism? Doesn't sound like even they're saying it's the same thing, else they wouldn't have mentioned each by name.
This is correct...

They both fall under the spectrum of PDD or Pervasive Developmental Disorders.

Generally, they are gifted, and kind and gentle, but there are exceptions to every rule.

 
ABCNews posted:Ryan Lanza, 24, brother of gunman Adam Lanza, 20, tells authorities that his younger brother is autistic, or has Asperger syndrome and a “personality disorder.” Neighbors described the younger man to ABC as “odd” and displaying characteristics associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
translation - a ticking time bomb
:no: I seriously hope you don't think that everyone with a learning disability, Asperger's, Autism, or OCD are likely to go and shoot a room full of 5 year olds...Because that isn't even remotely true and is awful to say.Symptoms of autism (Asperger's is a "mild form" that is on the "Autism Spectrum", but isn't full autism):
Core symptomsThe severity of symptoms varies greatly, but all people with autism have some core symptoms in the areas of: Social interactions and relationships. Symptoms may include: Significant problems developing nonverbal communication skills, such as eye-to-eye gazing, facial expressions, and body posture. Failure to establish friendships with children the same age. Lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people. Lack of empathy. People with autism may have difficulty understanding another person's feelings, such as pain or sorrow. Verbal and nonverbal communication. Symptoms may include: Delay in, or lack of, learning to talk. As many as 40% of people with autism never speak.1 Problems taking steps to start a conversation. Also, people with autism have difficulties continuing a conversation after it has begun. Stereotyped and repetitive use of language. People with autism often repeat over and over a phrase they have heard previously (echolalia). Difficulty understanding their listener's perspective. For example, a person with autism may not understand that someone is using humor. They may interpret the communication word for word and fail to catch the implied meaning. Limited interests in activities or play. Symptoms may include: An unusual focus on pieces. Younger children with autism often focus on parts of toys, such as the wheels on a car, rather than playing with the entire toy. Preoccupation with certain topics. For example, older children and adults may be fascinated by video games, trading cards, or license plates. A need for sameness and routines. For example, a child with autism may always need to eat bread before salad and insist on driving the same route every day to school. Stereotyped behaviors. These may include body rocking and hand flapping.
(note: symptoms are for adults that have it and kids)
Several of the people in my family, including me, have been diagnosed with varying degrees of "autism-spectrum" issues. It never ceases to amaze me how narrow peoples' thinking is with respect to the term autism.
:goodposting: I've never really been diagnosed (ADD/ADHD as a kid), but I'm relatively certain I have Asperger's as does my brother at minimum (if not autism, although he's pretty high functioning) and tons of other people I know.heck, I could make a decent argument that most people under 30 have a few of those symptoms...
 
Right or wrong I'm not telling my daughter anytHing
this is going to be my approach as well. sue me.
I think I am going to sit my son (8) down and tell him tonight. The subject is bound to come up at school next week and I want to make sure I can answer all his questions before the kids start talking about it next week. I'm not sure what I am going to say but I don't want the information to come from other people.
FWIW, I agree with this approach. At least for kids older than 5 or so.Help Kids Cope with Tragedy - What to Say to Help Them Feel Safe and Secure

 
CNN has dr drew on and I'm not reading all these pages. I know most of what happened but can anybody gimme a rundown of Facts.
:goodposting: FACTS being the main thing to focus on.
Per my understanding:- 28 people dead: 20 students (18 dead at scene, 2 dead at hospital), 6 adults (including the principal), the gunman, and an unidentified person at a "secondary crime scene" away from the school. No official word on the secondary scene but speculation is that it is a family member of the gunman, perhaps his mother or father. Gunman reportedly used 2 handguns and a larger rifle - I am not an expert on guns so I can't say any more than that.- The school is a K-4 school. Reports that the classroom targeted was a kindergarten class, but nothing confirmed. Police refuse to confirm age range of deceased kids.- Police need to wait until all families have been notified and all bodies identified before they can release any names of the deceased.- Suspected gunman is Adam Lanza, 20 year old. His mother was believed to be a teacher at the school. It is not confirmed whether she was at school today (hence the "secondary scene" noted above.- Ryan Lanza, 24, was originally reported as the suspected gunman and had his face plastered all over the internet by news sources trying to break the story. CBS has video footage of him being led in handcuffs by police just an hour or two ago. Police have said that the gunman acted alone. No word if he is being arrested, questioned, or what.Hope this helps. Someone please correct anything if it's wrong.
 
Dr. Awesome, my beef is exactly this: about two minutes ago, on the radio, I just heard the network announcer say, "the suspect's brother reports that the brother had autism." Just like that. No mention of Aspergers, no explanation. Now I have never heard in my entire life of an autistic person committing a crime anything like this, and I don't want to see that taint attached to autism. Furthermore, most Aspergers kids are aware of when they're doing something bad or wrong.
So maybe he had autism. Not aspergers. Though it's possible this report is one of the numerous incorrect ones. There are going to be some idiots who believe in anything. If the suspect actually had Aspergers or autism, so what? Most folks will realize the disorder is not tainted from this incident. And for those who will believe that...well they were bound to believe something dumb no matter what.
 
Right or wrong I'm not telling my daughter anytHing
this is going to be my approach as well. sue me.
I think I am going to sit my son (8) down and tell him tonight. The subject is bound to come up at school next week and I want to make sure I can answer all his questions before the kids start talking about it next week. I'm not sure what I am going to say but I don't want the information to come from other people.
FWIW, I agree with this approach. At least for kids older than 5 or so.Help Kids Cope with Tragedy - What to Say to Help Them Feel Safe and Secure
Not that thus is wrong but that seems to be for kids close to a tragic event
 
ABCNews posted:Ryan Lanza, 24, brother of gunman Adam Lanza, 20, tells authorities that his younger brother is autistic, or has Asperger syndrome and a “personality disorder.” Neighbors described the younger man to ABC as “odd” and displaying characteristics associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
translation - a ticking time bomb
:no: I seriously hope you don't think that everyone with a learning disability, Asperger's, Autism, or OCD are likely to go and shoot a room full of 5 year olds...Because that isn't even remotely true and is awful to say.Symptoms of autism (Asperger's is a "mild form" that is on the "Autism Spectrum", but isn't full autism):
Core symptomsThe severity of symptoms varies greatly, but all people with autism have some core symptoms in the areas of: Social interactions and relationships. Symptoms may include: Significant problems developing nonverbal communication skills, such as eye-to-eye gazing, facial expressions, and body posture. Failure to establish friendships with children the same age. Lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people. Lack of empathy. People with autism may have difficulty understanding another person's feelings, such as pain or sorrow. Verbal and nonverbal communication. Symptoms may include: Delay in, or lack of, learning to talk. As many as 40% of people with autism never speak.1 Problems taking steps to start a conversation. Also, people with autism have difficulties continuing a conversation after it has begun. Stereotyped and repetitive use of language. People with autism often repeat over and over a phrase they have heard previously (echolalia). Difficulty understanding their listener's perspective. For example, a person with autism may not understand that someone is using humor. They may interpret the communication word for word and fail to catch the implied meaning. Limited interests in activities or play. Symptoms may include: An unusual focus on pieces. Younger children with autism often focus on parts of toys, such as the wheels on a car, rather than playing with the entire toy. Preoccupation with certain topics. For example, older children and adults may be fascinated by video games, trading cards, or license plates. A need for sameness and routines. For example, a child with autism may always need to eat bread before salad and insist on driving the same route every day to school. Stereotyped behaviors. These may include body rocking and hand flapping.
(note: symptoms are for adults that have it and kids)
Several of the people in my family, including me, have been diagnosed with varying degrees of "autism-spectrum" issues. It never ceases to amaze me how narrow peoples' thinking is with respect to the term autism.
:goodposting: I've never really been diagnosed (ADD/ADHD as a kid), but I'm relatively certain I have Asperger's as does my brother at minimum (if not autism, although he's pretty high functioning) and tons of other people I know.heck, I could make a decent argument that most people under 30 have a few of those symptoms...
The clincher for my family members and for me were the outward physical symptoms - repetitive ticks, both vocal and kinetic. We grew up in different households and all have the same ones.
 
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CNN reporter just said that Adam shot and killed his mother at their home. Then went to the school for unknown reasons. The father is alive and talking to authorities in NJ.

 
Right or wrong I'm not telling my daughter anytHing
this is going to be my approach as well. sue me.
I think I am going to sit my son (8) down and tell him tonight. The subject is bound to come up at school next week and I want to make sure I can answer all his questions before the kids start talking about it next week. I'm not sure what I am going to say but I don't want the information to come from other people.
FWIW, I agree with this approach. At least for kids older than 5 or so.Help Kids Cope with Tragedy - What to Say to Help Them Feel Safe and Secure
Not that thus is wrong but that seems to be for kids close to a tragic event
It does? One of the suggestions was "don't try to keep the tragedy a secret". :confused:
 
Right or wrong I'm not telling my daughter anytHing
this is going to be my approach as well. sue me.
I think I am going to sit my son (8) down and tell him tonight. The subject is bound to come up at school next week and I want to make sure I can answer all his questions before the kids start talking about it next week. I'm not sure what I am going to say but I don't want the information to come from other people.
FWIW, I agree with this approach. At least for kids older than 5 or so.Help Kids Cope with Tragedy - What to Say to Help Them Feel Safe and Secure
Thanks, this is similar to what another poster wrote earlier.I'm especially concerned about this because there was a break-in at my son's school a month or so ago. Nothing big, just some vandalization to the buildings and my son's class was broken into and things were stolen. There was also a kidnapping of a girl in the district earlier this year. I know that they discussed the break-in at school and we discussed both the kidnapping and breakin at at home. I'm afraid he's going to link the events today with the break-in and kidnapping and feel like he isn't safe at school.

 
CNN just interviewed a kid that said there was "bloody goo goo all over the floor". Can we get a list of every station that interviewed kids so we can get a boycott going? This is pathetic.

 
CNN has dr drew on and I'm not reading all these pages. I know most of what happened but can anybody gimme a rundown of Facts.
:goodposting: FACTS being the main thing to focus on.
Per my understanding:- 28 people dead: 20 students (18 dead at scene, 2 dead at hospital), 6 adults (including the principal), the gunman, and an unidentified person at a "secondary crime scene" away from the school. No official word on the secondary scene but speculation is that it is a family member of the gunman, perhaps his mother or father. Gunman reportedly used 2 handguns and a larger rifle - I am not an expert on guns so I can't say any more than that.- The school is a K-4 school. Reports that the classroom targeted was a kindergarten class, but nothing confirmed. Police refuse to confirm age range of deceased kids.- Police need to wait until all families have been notified and all bodies identified before they can release any names of the deceased.- Suspected gunman is Adam Lanza, 20 year old. His mother was believed to be a teacher at the school. It is not confirmed whether she was at school today (hence the "secondary scene" noted above.- Ryan Lanza, 24, was originally reported as the suspected gunman and had his face plastered all over the internet by news sources trying to break the story. CBS has video footage of him being led in handcuffs by police just an hour or two ago. Police have said that the gunman acted alone. No word if he is being arrested, questioned, or what.Hope this helps. Someone please correct anything if it's wrong.
Thank you.
 
If you think Mike Huckabee's comments are awful, do yourself a favor and stay away from the Westboro Baptist church's comments. They're already posting on twitter about protesting funerals related to this.

 
This is one of these stories that just keeps getting worse and worse. The number of dead, the idea of what went on is more horrific than my brain can process. The next few days, weeks are going to be filled with pictures of these kids, these babies, and their families' stories and videos about them and their Christmas and its going to be gut-wrenchingly awful. I feel guilty for wanting to block all that out (I will have to for my young kids) for these kids memories, but I don't know how I'm going to see these kids and their grieving families without breaking down. Sorry if that is incoherent rambling, but I can't imagine these families and how they will go on. :cry: :cry:

 
If you think Mike Huckabee's comments are awful, do yourself a favor and stay away from the Westboro Baptist church's comments. They're already posting on twitter about protesting funerals related to this.
Aside from the Westboro people themselves I don't think anybody listens to what they say. Unfortunately there are plenty of people that agree with Huckabee.
 
CNN has dr drew on and I'm not reading all these pages. I know most of what happened but can anybody gimme a rundown of Facts.
Know one knows the facts. Tune in to the news tomorrow after the 3rd presser from law enforcement.
 
This is one of these stories that just keeps getting worse and worse. The number of dead, the idea of what went on is more horrific than my brain can process. The next few days, weeks are going to be filled with pictures of these kids, these babies, and their families' stories and videos about them and their Christmas and its going to be gut-wrenchingly awful. I feel guilty for wanting to block all that out (I will have to for my young kids) for these kids memories, but I don't know how I'm going to see these kids and their grieving families without breaking down. Sorry if that is incoherent rambling, but I can't imagine these families and how they will go on. :cry: :cry:
I'm right there with you, man.
 

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