Anyone here ever quit drinking without AA? (1 Viewer)

[Da Guru]

AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.

And this would be a good example of how one can be mistaken on a subject on which they are convinced they are correct. Especially if they lack first-hand knowledge of the subject.

Yes, many atheists have a problem with the God thing. But the first step does not talk about God, but about a Higher Power. The first step is largely about recognizing that alcohol represents a power higher than the alcoholic or else they wouldn't be sitting in an AA meeting. So that whole God/Higher Power thing can be resolved even for an atheist.

I've also known atheist folks who accept GOD in the equation but they use it as a friendly acronym meaning Group of Drunks in reference to their AA family/friends.

Athiest alcoholic here. I couldn't get into AA the first couple times because of what I took as the GOD overtones. Finally, I made an adjustment in my thought process. I realized that everyone's Higher Power can be different. For me, my Higher Power is the support and love of my family and friends. My newest tattoo reads "Family Is My Higher Power- 9/10/84". It'll be 30 years in 6 weeks.

Good luck man. Life's never been better for me.

That is great! To each his own. I know a man in my golf league who quit AA due the constant "God"/"higher power" Ended up getting treatment at a re-hab that was covered by his insurance. Said it was what worked better for him. Right now he is on his tenth year sober.

My BIL quit cold turkey on his own many years ago after hitting a tree with his daughter in the car while driving drunk. Never went to rehab or AA just quit when he realized what could have been. The thing that is different with him is that he never stopped going to parties or weddings that people were drinking at, he just turned into the DD for everyone while drinking diet coke.

So if you are committed to quit drinking there are many options.

 

[tonydead]

1- You can do anything you put your mind to. 2- AA is for people who think lesser than that which makes them weak. 3- Similar to religion.

What???

Do you want me to bold it or rephrase it?

rephrase, please. tia.

1- Answer to the OP.

2- Reason why.

3- Example.

I find it silly that anyone thinks that you have surrender to a higher power and admit you are powerless over the actions you yourself are doing. I also have a hard time calling it a disease in the vast majority of cases. And fwiw, you could classify me as an alcoholic that's been to my fair share of AA meetings.

 

[NCCommish]

AA is only one of many options available. I am sure that atheists do not go to AA for help.

And this would be a good example of how one can be mistaken on a subject on which they are convinced they are correct. Especially if they lack first-hand knowledge of the subject.

Yes, many atheists have a problem with the God thing. But the first step does not talk about God, but about a Higher Power. The first step is largely about recognizing that alcohol represents a power higher than the alcoholic or else they wouldn't be sitting in an AA meeting. So that whole God/Higher Power thing can be resolved even for an atheist.

I've also known atheist folks who accept GOD in the equation but they use it as a friendly acronym meaning Group of Drunks in reference to their AA family/friends.

Athiest alcoholic here. I couldn't get into AA the first couple times because of what I took as the GOD overtones. Finally, I made an adjustment in my thought process. I realized that everyone's Higher Power can be different. For me, my Higher Power is the support and love of my family and friends. My newest tattoo reads "Family Is My Higher Power- 9/10/84". It'll be 30 years in 6 weeks.

Good luck man. Life's never been better for me.

That is great! To each his own. I know a man in my golf league who quit AA due the constant "God"/"higher power" Ended up getting treatment at a re-hab that was covered by his insurance. Said it was what worked better for him. Right now he is on his tenth year sober.

My BIL quit cold turkey on his own many years ago after hitting a tree with his daughter in the car while driving drunk. Never went to rehab or AA just quit when he realized what could have been. The thing that is different with him is that he never stopped going to parties or weddings that people were drinking at, he just turned into the DD for everyone while drinking diet coke.

So if you are committed to quit drinking there are many options.

Pretty much what I did. Went from the guy who always needed a DD to being the DD.

 

[Fennis]

I invented a program to complete with 12 step programs that you might be interested in.

Its an 11... Step...Program.

Think about it! You need help and you see a 12 step program sitting there, and there's an 11 Step Program right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick?

 

[johnnycakes]

I invented a program to complete with 12 step programs that you might be interested in.

Its an 11... Step...Program.

Think about it! You need help and you see a 12 step program sitting there, and there's an 11 Step Program right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick?

Frankly, I'd go with the 13-step program every time.

 

[Fennis]

I invented a program to complete with 12 step programs that you might be interested in.

Its an 11... Step...Program.

Think about it! You need help and you see a 12 step program sitting there, and there's an 11 Step Program right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick?

Frankly, I'd go with the 13-step program every time.

No, no, not 13! I said 11! Nobody's going with 13 steps! Who wants 13 steps? That's a horrible idea!

 

[Spanky267]

40 years old. Really want to do it for the kids. Told the missus I’m giving up beer for 30 days to try to lose weight, so am definitely focused on the health/weight angle.

My plan after the 30 days is to say that I just feel better and am not really missing the beer. Hoping that works.

You can do it. I was a heavy/binge drinker into my mid-20's. Every social activity involved drinking. My dad was an alcoholic. I had a few incidents in my where I got so drunk that I was extremely late to work. That coupled with meeting the future Mrs. Spanky267 led me to give up drinking for the most part. I went from going out for drinks 5 to 7 nights a week to now where I drink maybe a dozen beers a year.

We are the same age. You are doing the right thing. Do this first and foremost for yourself. If you are having that many blackouts its not a good thing. You dont want to come to from one of those blackouts and realize you drove drunk and hurt or god forbid killed someone. Secondly do it for your family. your wife and kids need you, the sober you.

It will be tough at first but you can do it.

 

[Ilov80s]

My cousin Stick used to get into that corn liquor. One night his old lady got fed up and kicked his ### out! Didn't need no AA.

He got cirrhosis though.

What's your drinking level need to be like to get cirrhosis? A friend of mine in school had his dad die of it a few years back. He was maybe 55. I knew he drank a lot, but he ran a restaurant, drive his kids all over for sports, maintained a good relationship with his family and wife, had a nice place. I didn't think he was drinking enough to kill himself. Although, it obviously could have gotten worse. I didn't really talk to the guy after high school.

 

[NCCommish]

My cousin Stick used to get into that corn liquor. One night his old lady got fed up and kicked his ### out! Didn't need no AA.

He got cirrhosis though.

What's your drinking level need to be like to get cirrhosis? A friend of mine in school had his dad die of it a few years back. He was maybe 55. I knew he drank a lot, but he ran a restaurant, drive his kids all over for sports, maintained a good relationship with his family and wife, had a nice place. I didn't think he was drinking enough to kill himself. Although, it obviously could have gotten worse. I didn't really talk to the guy after high school.

You can get Cirrhosis and never take one drink. For example a bile duct can become blocked causing bile to back up in the liver. This produces scar tissue which leads to Cirrohosis. As Cirrhosis is essentially a disease in which healthy tissue is replaced by scar tissue.

 

[Joe Summer]

I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

You may think that you're "rarely drunk" but I bet a breathalyzer would say otherwise.

 

[Clifford]

Quit for over a month. Didn't have a drop. Didn't bother me much, except for occasionally wanting a beer.

 

[Northern Voice]

I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

You may think that you're "rarely drunk" but I bet a breathalyzer would say otherwise.

You aren't going to blow over from 2-3 drinks over 2-3 hours. Most people who get DUI's have had waaaay more than that, regardless of what they may tell friends/family/police officers.

 

[johnnycakes]

Quit for over a month. Didn't have a drop. Didn't bother me much, except for occasionally wanting a beer.

[christo] Now back to the nightly blackout? [/christo]

 

[Zow]

I invented a program to complete with 12 step programs that you might be interested in.

Its an 11... Step...Program.

Think about it! You need help and you see a 12 step program sitting there, and there's an 11 Step Program right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick?

Frankly, I'd go with the 13-step program every time.

Yep, way more chances and excuses then for a relapse.

 

[Zow]

I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

You may think that you're "rarely drunk" but I bet a breathalyzer would say otherwise.

I'm a DUI defense attorney who owns a breathalyzer. I think what I think and what a breathalyzer would say aren't going to be incongruent.

 

[Plorfu]

I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

You may think that you're "rarely drunk" but I bet a breathalyzer would say otherwise.

I'm a DUI defense attorney who owns a breathalyzer. I think what I think and what a breathalyzer would say aren't going to be incongruent.

Have I seen you above any urinals?

 

[Zow]

I've started drinking much more the last couple years after going many years without drinking at all. To some degree I think thta has helped me. I rarely drink enough to even be drunk - I'm able to do the 2 drinks to wind down and stop there. Occasionally on a Fri/Sat night I'll indulge a little more but mainly because I'm silly when drunk and have a good time. Also, this is always at home. Always. The most I'll drink when outside my house is 1 or 2 and never if I'm driving.

Good luck - if you truly think you have a problem then I would seek some kind of help and don't try to do it all on your own.

This is exactly how I am. I probably drink 5 nights a week now (before i met my wife i usually just drank on weekends) but I am rarely drunk and never have more than 2-3 drinks at a time. It's not helping the waistline, but definitely have no issues.

You may think that you're "rarely drunk" but I bet a breathalyzer would say otherwise.

I'm a DUI defense attorney who owns a breathalyzer. I think what I think and what a breathalyzer would say aren't going to be incongruent.

Have I seen you above any urinals?

No, but I know the exact ads you're talking about.

 

[mquinnjr]

I invented a program to complete with 12 step programs that you might be interested in.

Its an 11... Step...Program.

Think about it! You need help and you see a 12 step program sitting there, and there's an 11 Step Program right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick?

Frankly, I'd go with the 13-step program every time.

No, no, not 13! I said 11! Nobody's going with 13 steps! Who wants 13 steps? That's a horrible idea!

Step into my office, because you're ()#(_@$ fired!

 

[Mookie]

You're going to have to figure this out on your own but there are a lot of good suggestions in this thread. Mine would be to find another vice. Working out, running, guitar, harmonica, home improvement, a fixer upper car/truck. That will give you something else to focus on besides what you're giving up. Good luck.

 

[Ilov80s]

My cousin Stick used to get into that corn liquor. One night his old lady got fed up and kicked his ### out! Didn't need no AA.

He got cirrhosis though.

What's your drinking level need to be like to get cirrhosis? A friend of mine in school had his dad die of it a few years back. He was maybe 55. I knew he drank a lot, but he ran a restaurant, drive his kids all over for sports, maintained a good relationship with his family and wife, had a nice place. I didn't think he was drinking enough to kill himself. Although, it obviously could have gotten worse. I didn't really talk to the guy after high school.

You can get Cirrhosis and never take one drink. For example a bile duct can become blocked causing bile to back up in the liver. This produces scar tissue which leads to Cirrohosis. As Cirrhosis is essentially a disease in which healthy tissue is replaced by scar tissue.

I meant from drinking, not some fluke virus or weird duct blockage.

 

[TheWalkmen]

So I’m pretty sure I have a problem. I love beer so much but I don’t have an off switch. I also find myself not being able to wait to leave a non-alcohol situation so I can start drinking. Too many blackouts recently, which as you know are totally scary. Waking up the next day and not being able to remember what you said or did is a horror. Cringing as you hear the “funny” stories is getting old. I have been dry since Sunday and am hoping to keep it going. I’ve tried numerous times in the past to “cut down” or “moderate” but it doesn’t work. I find myself drinking too much and telling myself it’s ok because I work hard, have a stressful job, juggle wife/kids/house/etc and that I earned/deserve it. I am not against AA and know many people who have had their lives saved by it, but I just don’t think it’s for me. I think I can accept the fact that I am powerless over alcohol but quit on my own terms by myself. Anyone else ever done this or am I deluding myself?

I’ve always loved the Sinatra line “I feel bad for those who don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning that’s the best they’ll feel all day”. Now I’ll be one of those guys. I’m sure family and friend social pressures will be tough but I think I can do this.

I haven't touched the booze for over a year, with no help from AA. I started having major sleep issues after drinking, even just a beer (posted about it here), so I had to quit drinking. It was extremely difficult at first, since it's a life style change. I was very worried about not drinking in social situations, among other fears of not drinking. Now that it has been a year, I am a much happier person and so much better off. I have a lot I can write about, let me know specific questions via here or PM.

 

[Christo]

Drink a Sierra Nevada Beer Camp. You'll question why you ever thought drinking was a good idea.

 

[Ilov80s]

Drink a Sierra Nevada Beer Camp. You'll question why you ever thought drinking was a good idea.

Or you will drink 10 of them and end up drunk with a ton of posts on here.

 

[Todd Andrews]

AA can help in other ways, and it neednt become a constant or continual thing. I quit drinking for 10 years and went to a bunch of AA meetings in the first four weeks. I was in my 20s and the meetings really opened my eyes to what I was dealing with, helped me realize I had a real serious problem that could destroy lives, and gave me some group comfort at a time I was not feeling good about myself (because people are usually hitting or near rock bottom when they are deciding to quit drinking). But after four weeks, I realized that continuing the meetings was not for me and I stopped going. I didnt start drinking again and kept bartending in New Orleans (sober like Sam Malone) while I finished up law school.

It is about self awareness, introspection, and will power. Some people really prefer and/or need an outer structure like AA to place around those things, but that is what it boils down to in the end.

 

[Mister CIA]

Disclaimer/Full Disclosure: I'm a member of the 100,000 Beer Club; AND I've got a two and a half year cold turkey run under my belt, circa 2007.

Simply - If you want to quit, you have to recognize your trigger(s), and battle for five minutes to get past it(them). That's it.

 

[Milkman]

I quit without AA. I will probably drink again but it's going to be after my children are out of the house. I haven't had a drink in almost two years.

1. Go talk to a therapist. You're going to need it.

2. Eat and drink whatever you want. (No alcohol obviously) You're going to be craving carbs. Don't worry eat the cake.

3. Start working out or a sport. You need something to do. Most people who don't drink do other stuff

You can PM if you are ever struggling. Good luck. Proud of you for being brave enough to admit you have a problem.

 

[Ilov80s]

I quit without AA. I will probably drink again but it's going to be after my children are out of the house. I haven't had a drink in almost two years.

1. Go talk to a therapist. You're going to need it.

2. Eat and drink whatever you want. (No alcohol obviously) You're going to be craving carbs. Don't worry eat the cake.

3. Start working out or a sport. You need something to do. Most people who don't drink do other stuff

You can PM if you are ever struggling. Good luck. Proud of you for being brave enough to admit you have a problem.

Great advice on keeping busy. I have found old habits are best disposed of when replaced by new ones.

 

[ghostguy123]

I am only 34, and I don't have one single friend or family member that would care one bit if I didn't drink at a party or the bar or restaurant or whatever, and wouldn't at any point try to get me to.

Does that actually happen anywhere other than high school?

 

[ghostguy123]

I would agree with whoever says you need a hobby. Hell, run 50 fantasy teams like some people do. You wont have time to drink.

The best would probably be working out....a LOT. You wont want to work out the day after drinking, and once you get into better shape you wont want to ruin it by drinking.

It wont make it easy, but it will make it easier, a lot easier.

 

[On The Rocks]

If no AA....

Don't buy it. Don't go to bars, parties, or other places that alcohol will be served.

Problem solved.

This is correct. You have to change your nouns. Change the people you hang out with, change the places you go, and change the things you do.

I quit without AA, but quite frankly I don't think I had the same level of desire for drink that the OP states they have.

I suppose it would depend on if a person wants to quit drinking, or wants to learn discipline to cut back.

Sorry to be negative, but if the problems you have are as bad as they sound, I'd bet against success on any attempts to quit cold turkey without the help of AA or someone to be some sort of an accountability partner.

Either way, I wish you the best.

 

[johnnycakes]

Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

Reminds me of my first sponsor who, years ago with reference to willpower said something along the lines of, "Here's a pack of ex-Lax. Take a dozen and sit there and talk to me about willpower."

 

[NCCommish]

I am only 34, and I don't have one single friend or family member that would care one bit if I didn't drink at a party or the bar or restaurant or whatever, and wouldn't at any point try to get me to.

Does that actually happen anywhere other than high school?

Older demographic here. And yes the social pressure used to be to drink. I have seen it do a 180 degree turn. Heck when i was younger DUI was hard to get. They would actually drive you home and not arrest you. You had to be a real ### to get busted for DUI. But attitudes changed.

 

[johnnycakes]

I am only 34, and I don't have one single friend or family member that would care one bit if I didn't drink at a party or the bar or restaurant or whatever, and wouldn't at any point try to get me to.

Does that actually happen anywhere other than high school?

Older demographic here. And yes the social pressure used to be to drink. I have seen it do a 180 degree turn. Heck when i was younger DUI was hard to get. They would actually drive you home and not arrest you. You had to be a real ### to get busted for DUI. But attitudes changed.

MADD was a big driver of that attitude change. I used to joke I was a member of DAMM... Drunks Against Mad Mothers.

 

[Da Guru]

I am only 34, and I don't have one single friend or family member that would care one bit if I didn't drink at a party or the bar or restaurant or whatever, and wouldn't at any point try to get me to.

Does that actually happen anywhere other than high school?

Don`t know anybody who tries to get non-drinkers to drink. My wife and I go out with many different people and attend many social events, some people drink some don`t. The people who like having a few pops have them, the teetotalers do not. Nobody really cares.

 

[ghostguy123]

It would seem avoiding any and all places with alcohol would be nothing more than putting a band-aid on a gun shot wound, and then cause ridiculous anxiety when you do actually find yourself around it.

Fix yourself, and then your surroundings won't matter anywhere near as much. If it's through AA, great. Church, great. Fantasy football, great. Meditation, great. Exercise, great.

Whatever it is, make sure it is more than just removing yourself from everything and everyone you like. That's just not the way to go about it, and screams relapse over and over.

I can see avoiding things at first, but that would need to progress to something more tolerable real quick.

 

[NREC34]

It would seem avoiding any and all places with alcohol would be nothing more than putting a band-aid on a gun shot wound, and then cause ridiculous anxiety when you do actually find yourself around it.

Fix yourself, and then your surroundings won't matter anywhere near as much. If it's through AA, great. Church, great. Fantasy football, great. Meditation, great. Exercise, great.

Whatever it is, make sure it is more than just removing yourself from everything and everyone you like. That's just not the way to go about it, and screams relapse over and over.

I can see avoiding things at first, but that would need to progress to something more tolerable real quick.

I drank at home probably 90% of the time. You can't avoid your home!

If AA works for some guys then great but it's not a requirement. I think the best AA type mindset you can use when you quit is the thinking of just one day at a time choose not to drink (or whatever your vice may be). That seems a lot less daunting than forever. I personally don't need to be a part of a group of strangers recanting their sad stories to follow that thinking.

 

[ForWhoForWhat]

Hey guys. Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. Yes, I definitely need a hobby for sure. I’m going to try to work out more, but I don’t think that’s enough. I’ve tried guitar in the past and I frankly wasn’t very good. I know what I want to do – it’s something that isn’t dependent upon season or weather or time of day. I want to become a decent cook. We make basic foods at the house. I want to be able to make my own hummus or guacamole dip. I want to make a pistachio encrusted salmon, the kind you’d eat in a restaurant and go WOW. I know there’s a crock pot thread here and I’ve gotten great stuff from there. Is there a general cooking thread with recipes and pointers/tips?

My family and friends will definitely support me, but I'm going to try to play it nonchalantly and not say "I had a major problem - need to quit". More like explain it as a lifestyle change. Those closest to me will know but not say anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I am looking forward to being the DD after years of needing one!

 

[tonydead]

Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

Reminds me of my first sponsor who, years ago with reference to willpower said something along the lines of, "Here's a pack of ex-Lax. Take a dozen and sit there and talk to me about willpower."

Or just say NO I'm not I'm not going to take any ex-Lax. Sorry, I know AA works for some people and if someone is really struggling they should probably try it. But, the fact remains there are plenty of examples in here of people who did it on their own without admitting to that fallacy.

 

[johnnycakes]

Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

Reminds me of my first sponsor who, years ago with reference to willpower said something along the lines of, "Here's a pack of ex-Lax. Take a dozen and sit there and talk to me about willpower."

Or just say NO I'm not I'm not going to take any ex-Lax. Sorry, I know AA works for some people and if someone is really struggling they should probably try it. But, the fact remains there are plenty of examples in here of people who did it on their own without admitting to that fallacy.

And I can give you plenty of examples where willpower just didn't work. So the assertion that all anyone needs is willpower is just incorrect. That's more the point of the anecdote. Never did I say AA was for everyone or there was no other way.

 

[NCCommish]

I am only 34, and I don't have one single friend or family member that would care one bit if I didn't drink at a party or the bar or restaurant or whatever, and wouldn't at any point try to get me to.

Does that actually happen anywhere other than high school?

Older demographic here. And yes the social pressure used to be to drink. I have seen it do a 180 degree turn. Heck when i was younger DUI was hard to get. They would actually drive you home and not arrest you. You had to be a real ### to get busted for DUI. But attitudes changed.

MADD was a big driver of that attitude change. I used to joke I was a member of DAMM... Drunks Against Mad Mothers.

When I got my DUI in 94 my lawyer asked for a postponement the first court date because the courtroom was packed with MADD members in their T-shirts. He felt the judge would throw the book at me to make them happy. When we went the second time no MADD and I got below the minimums for everything. Now it should be said I had already done my 12 AA sessions and rehab classes prior to seeing the judge which was part of the reason for leniency.

 

[Da Guru]

Hey guys. Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. Yes, I definitely need a hobby for sure. I’m going to try to work out more, but I don’t think that’s enough. I’ve tried guitar in the past and I frankly wasn’t very good. I know what I want to do – it’s something that isn’t dependent upon season or weather or time of day. I want to become a decent cook. We make basic foods at the house. I want to be able to make my own hummus or guacamole dip. I want to make a pistachio encrusted salmon, the kind you’d eat in a restaurant and go WOW. I know there’s a crock pot thread here and I’ve gotten great stuff from there. Is there a general cooking thread with recipes and pointers/tips?

My family and friends will definitely support me, but I'm going to try to play it nonchalantly and not say "I had a major problem - need to quit". More like explain it as a lifestyle change. Those closest to me will know but not say anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I am looking forward to being the DD after years of needing one!

I love cooking, the only problem is I always want to have a few beers while prepping a weekend meal.

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

Hey guys. Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. Yes, I definitely need a hobby for sure. I’m going to try to work out more, but I don’t think that’s enough. I’ve tried guitar in the past and I frankly wasn’t very good. I know what I want to do – it’s something that isn’t dependent upon season or weather or time of day. I want to become a decent cook. We make basic foods at the house. I want to be able to make my own hummus or guacamole dip. I want to make a pistachio encrusted salmon, the kind you’d eat in a restaurant and go WOW. I know there’s a crock pot thread here and I’ve gotten great stuff from there. Is there a general cooking thread with recipes and pointers/tips?

My family and friends will definitely support me, but I'm going to try to play it nonchalantly and not say "I had a major problem - need to quit". More like explain it as a lifestyle change. Those closest to me will know but not say anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I am looking forward to being the DD after years of needing one!

Go for it man. As for the bolded, it's ok for it to actually be a lifestyle change, and not be a major problem. You're working on fixing it, so don't be so hard on yourself. Just don't drink today, that's what you can control.

There are tons of solid cooking/recipe threads here.

 

[tonydead]

Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

Reminds me of my first sponsor who, years ago with reference to willpower said something along the lines of, "Here's a pack of ex-Lax. Take a dozen and sit there and talk to me about willpower."

Or just say NO I'm not I'm not going to take any ex-Lax. Sorry, I know AA works for some people and if someone is really struggling they should probably try it. But, the fact remains there are plenty of examples in here of people who did it on their own without admitting to that fallacy.

And I can give you plenty of examples where willpower just didn't work. So the assertion that all anyone needs is willpower is just incorrect. That's more the point of the anecdote. Never did I say AA was for everyone or there was no other way.

I agree with everything you just said and I don't think I said anything contradictory. I did not assert that everyone can do it on willpower alone. My point is that Step 1 of AA requires you to admit you are powerless over alcohol which in most all cases isn't true. That's the fallacy. I'd argue the an alcoholic is better off and has a better chance for success if he is empowered.

 

[Ilov80s]

I'd also suggest joining something where you have some level of commitment to others, preferably something that might meet on weekend times you might normally be drinking. It could be basketball rec league, a book club, a biking group, cooking classes, etc. You are a lot less likely to skip out when there are expectations with other people.

 

[Northern Voice]

Just like with giving up anything you like, you'll have to overcome it with willpower. It's as simple as that.

I think you should just quit cold turkey, occupy your time with something else, movies, games, working out, hiking, whatever.

Hopefully after a few weeks you won't miss it. If you do and can't just have a couple, then you have larger issues and probably need professional help.

Reminds me of my first sponsor who, years ago with reference to willpower said something along the lines of, "Here's a pack of ex-Lax. Take a dozen and sit there and talk to me about willpower."

Or just say NO I'm not I'm not going to take any ex-Lax. Sorry, I know AA works for some people and if someone is really struggling they should probably try it. But, the fact remains there are plenty of examples in here of people who did it on their own without admitting to that fallacy.

And I can give you plenty of examples where willpower just didn't work. So the assertion that all anyone needs is willpower is just incorrect. That's more the point of the anecdote. Never did I say AA was for everyone or there was no other way.

I agree with everything you just said and I don't think I said anything contradictory. I did not assert that everyone can do it on willpower alone. My point is that Step 1 of AA requires you to admit you are powerless over alcohol which in most all cases isn't true. That's the fallacy. I'd argue the an alcoholic is better off and has a better chance for success if he is empowered.

?

Whether you give yourself to AA/God or not, it's still will power that determines whether you will drink or not, isn't it... You want to drink, do you have the will not to? You can convince yourself a mystical being or support group is what's giving you the will, but it still comes down to that will.

 

[tonydead]

I agree with everything you just said and I don't think I said anything contradictory. I did not assert that everyone can do it on willpower alone. My point is that Step 1 of AA requires you to admit you are powerless over alcohol which in most all cases isn't true. That's the fallacy. I'd argue the an alcoholic is better off and has a better chance for success if he is empowered.

?

Whether you give yourself to AA/God or not, it's still will power that determines whether you will drink or not, isn't it... You want to drink, do you have the will not to? You can convince yourself a mystical being or support group is what's giving you the will, but it still comes down to that will.

Hi, not sure if your post is directed at me or johnnycakes. But, I agree with you. Willpower seems to contradict the first step in AA and that's what I have a problem with.

I also agree with johnny that most can't do it with willpower alone and there are a lot of other tools to empower the alcoholic, many have been suggested in this thread. One of the best tools is a support group. I think that's the major reason for AA's success. AA provides a support group for people who have sometimes already lost a much better support groups in friends and family because of their problem.

 

[Ilov80s]

I agree with everything you just said and I don't think I said anything contradictory. I did not assert that everyone can do it on willpower alone. My point is that Step 1 of AA requires you to admit you are powerless over alcohol which in most all cases isn't true. That's the fallacy. I'd argue the an alcoholic is better off and has a better chance for success if he is empowered. ?

Whether you give yourself to AA/God or not, it's still will power that determines whether you will drink or not, isn't it... You want to drink, do you have the will not to? You can convince yourself a mystical being or support group is what's giving you the will, but it still comes down to that will.

Hi, not sure if your post is directed at me or johnnycakes. But, I agree with you. Willpower seems to contradict the first step in AA and that's what I have a problem with.I also agree with johnny that most can't do it with willpower alone and there are a lot of other tools to empower the alcoholic, many have been suggested in this thread. One of the best tools is a support group. I think that's the major reason for AA's success. AA provides a support group for people who have sometimes already lost a much better support groups in friends and family because of their problem.

And it's people to talk to that are less likely to judge you and could relate to your issues. Often, things are too complicated to be completely open with family or friends because of all the emotions involved. Like a therapist or psychologist, it can be helpful to have someone neutral to talk to.

 

[jwb]

So I’m pretty sure I have a problem. I love beer so much but I don’t have an off switch. I also find myself not being able to wait to leave a non-alcohol situation so I can start drinking. Too many blackouts recently, which as you know are totally scary. Waking up the next day and not being able to remember what you said or did is a horror. Cringing as you hear the “funny” stories is getting old. I have been dry since Sunday and am hoping to keep it going. I’ve tried numerous times in the past to “cut down” or “moderate” but it doesn’t work. I find myself drinking too much and telling myself it’s ok because I work hard, have a stressful job, juggle wife/kids/house/etc and that I earned/deserve it. I am not against AA and know many people who have had their lives saved by it, but I just don’t think it’s for me. I think I can accept the fact that I am powerless over alcohol but quit on my own terms by myself. Anyone else ever done this or am I deluding myself?

I’ve always loved the Sinatra line “I feel bad for those who don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning that’s the best they’ll feel all day”. Now I’ll be one of those guys. I’m sure family and friend social pressures will be tough but I think I can do this.

I haven't touched the booze for over a year, with no help from AA. I started having major sleep issues after drinking, even just a beer (posted about it here), so I had to quit drinking. It was extremely difficult at first, since it's a life style change. I was very worried about not drinking in social situations, among other fears of not drinking. Now that it has been a year, I am a much happier person and so much better off. I have a lot I can write about, let me know specific questions via here or PM.

This started happening to me. I'm 48, and booze is now keeping me awake. Not as bad as "one beer up all night", but if I get any kind of decent buzz after, say, 4pm, I'm likely not going to sleep that night. And I detest that buzzed feeling *after* the session, too. Being buzzed is fine while I am having drinks w/ my wife on the deck, but being lit up at 11pm, too buzzed to enjoy a videogame or book or movie... bleh. That's a really lousy feeling, and I've started looking to avoid it.

For me, it's just the realization that for whatever reason, something inside me changed, and alcohol was starting to get in my way. I'm nowhere near "I want to quit" (I will be unlikely to ever go there. I like beer and whiskey), but the last 8 months or so have seen me cut my drinking substantially. I'm better for it too.

How to do it? I don't know. For me, it was thinking about that inevitable late night buzzed feeling, and how I don't want to go there.

 

[Clifford]

Quit for over a month. Didn't have a drop. Didn't bother me much, except for occasionally wanting a beer.

[christo] Now back to the nightly blackout? [/christo]

There's a reason I put him on ignore...

For reasons I won't go into I had to quit drinking for a while, but what I discovered is that it wasn't that hard and I didn't miss it that much. I can drink hardcore and then not drink for a while. Case in point: last weekend went down to the beach with some buddies. Got hammered. This week since Sunday I have had one beer at home, and had two beers last night out at dinner. Came home and had water.

But I never considered myself addicted or physically dependent.

 

[Guest]

Whatever it is, make sure it is more than just removing yourself from everything and everyone you like. That's just not the way to go about it, and screams relapse over and over.

.

I agree with this, but I'm not trying to completely quit, only cut way back. No way am I giving up my friends. They have been too good of friends for too long. They would completely understand that I am cutting back and not getting "drunk".

I also live in a very small town. It's not like I can just drop this group of friends and start up with another. Plus I got all the fun friends in my divorce.