Bank Questions- Ask Here (1 Viewer)

[Chadstroma]

Has you bank been converted to the new dickfer system yet? My friends in banking say is life changing.

Life changing.

 

[Chadstroma]

I've heard the saying, owe a dollar and the bank owns you. Owe a million dollars and you own the bank.

I've got about 105K in school loans. How many more degrees do I need before I have a bank of my very own?

With tuition costs rising higher than anything else... my guess is one more degree!!! GO FOR IT!

 

[Chadstroma]

How does the blood of a newborn baby taste?

Only know how first born newborn baby blood tastes.... yummy. Almost as good as elderly blood of the choose between paying pills or food kind.

 

[Chadstroma]

Why is every bank employee a vice president?

Because giving a title is cheaper than giving raises AND it makes the customers feel like they are talking to someone special with some actual juice to make decisions.

 

[Chadstroma]

Where are the cracks in the system that would allow me to launder, say, 50,000 to 100,000 dollars per year?

Reach behind your washer and there is a crack right there that you can stash it.

 

[Chadstroma]

why did my bank move to nigeria?

Because you did not send the Prince money and he got mad and bought your bank. He now uses the employees as his own personal toosh wipers. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME! I will PM with wiring instructions!

 

[John Bender]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

 

[Chadstroma]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.

Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

 

[xulf]

Why is every bank employee a vice president?

 

[Quint]

how much do you hate it when the 1st or 15th falls on a Friday before a three day weekend?

 

[Chadstroma]

how much do you hate it when the 1st or 15th falls on a Friday before a three day weekend?

Back in the day that was known as hell. Now, it is nice to have some busy days because so many days are dead and you can only make so many phone calls before you want to strangle someone.

 

[sbonomo]

I am bored out of my mind right now.

If you got a question- serious or not so much, then ask. I will give a serious or not so much answer.

can you explain the capital reserves for cash collateralized performance letters of credit when the cash is held at the same institution.

 

[Hov34]

Have you ever had sex in the vault on a big pile of money?

 

[Chadstroma]

I am bored out of my mind right now.

If you got a question- serious or not so much, then ask. I will give a serious or not so much answer.

can you explain the capital reserves for cash collateralized performance letters of credit when the cash is held at the same institution.

No.

 

[Chadstroma]

Have you ever had sex in the vault on a big pile of money?

Who hasn't?

 

[EYLive]

Why is every bank employee a vice president?

Because giving a title is cheaper than giving raises AND it makes the customers feel like they are talking to someone special with some actual juice to make decisions.

A lot of financial institutions require signatures on numerous documents. An employee with an executive title allows them to sign on the company's behalf.Sorry for the hijack.

 

[EYLive]

What do you do with safety deposit boxes that are abandoned?

 

[Bucky86]

Do you have any homeless people with bank accounts? If so, how much money do they have?

 

[Chadstroma]

What do you do with safety deposit boxes that are abandoned?

Two bank employees (usually the person in charge of operations and then the lowest person in pecking order) wait for the keysmith guy. They go in and the keysmith guy drills the box open. The two bank employees, always in dual control, document the contents. However, if there is a gold ring you can not just write down 'gold ring' but it would be 'a metal yellow ring'. All the contents are put in a bag that is sealed and then escheated to the state.

 

[Chadstroma]

Do you have any homeless people with bank accounts? If so, how much money do they have?

At my current location, we have no homeless individuals. But I have worked at locations that did. The one I can think of usually had around $5-20 in the account at any one time. The lady, who clearly was mentally disturbed and thus homeless, would deposit some of her pan handeling money in the account. It was never fun to take her transactions because she smelled and was a bit unpredictable.

 

[Chadstroma]

Why is every bank employee a vice president?

Because giving a title is cheaper than giving raises AND it makes the customers feel like they are talking to someone special with some actual juice to make decisions.

A lot of financial institutions require signatures on numerous documents. An employee with an executive title allows them to sign on the company's behalf.Sorry for the hijack.

Really, at the branch level, the only thing that needs to be signed that is restricted is those that need a medallion stamp. And that really has nothing to do with title but rather the high level of risk so banks typically only allow the branch managers to do them.

 

[sbonomo]

I am bored out of my mind right now.

If you got a question- serious or not so much, then ask. I will give a serious or not so much answer.

can you explain the capital reserves for cash collateralized performance letters of credit when the cash is held at the same institution.

No.

. That was mean....

 

[Cliff Clavin]

If all of your servers get wiped out, do all of the outstanding debts owed get erased as well? And if so, where exactly are all of these servers located? Asking for a friend. TIA.

You'd need to wipe out the servers, which are not in branches, and the multiple backups that are stored in different locations than the servers. You'd have a better chance of robbing a bank to pay off your debts.

 

[Slapdash]

It is actually a pretty involved question. The regulatory burden has greatly increased over the last 8 years or so. In a lot of ways, it is easier for larger banks to handle the extra burden as the costs as spread over a much larger organization and they can afford to hire people specifically to deal with them. Smaller banks obviously can not. I know a lot end up paying for consultants to help in various areas that they lack.

Consulting industry is absolutely booming right now, especially at large banks.

 

[Sand]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.

Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

 

[Das Boot]

If all of your servers get wiped out, do all of the outstanding debts owed get erased as well? And if so, where exactly are all of these servers located? Asking for a friend. TIA.

You'd need to wipe out the servers, which are not in branches, and the multiple backups that are stored in different locations than the servers. You'd have a better chance of robbing a bank to pay off your debts.

Maybe a giant magnet would do the trick.

 

[elguapo07]

whats my PIN number?

Bosco

 

[Mario Kart]

Have you ever had sex in the vault on a big pile of money?

Who hasn't?

Not with yourself but with someone else?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Why do I need a photo ID to deposit cash?

 

[The Big Guy]

Why do I need a photo ID to deposit cash?[/quote

]

Because banks got fined for anti money laundering violations and this was the over reactive response. Too many people paying off the Mexican people smugglers for bringing uncle Jose across the border.

 

[The Big Guy]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

How large was the amount of the wire? Different people have different levels of authority to wire money, but your bank must have piss poor customer service if they did not call and find a branch for you that could do the wire if they couldn't. I have limits to what I am allowed to do,but can get approval to go above if I have a need.

 

[Chadstroma]

It is actually a pretty involved question. The regulatory burden has greatly increased over the last 8 years or so. In a lot of ways, it is easier for larger banks to handle the extra burden as the costs as spread over a much larger organization and they can afford to hire people specifically to deal with them. Smaller banks obviously can not. I know a lot end up paying for consultants to help in various areas that they lack.

Consulting industry is absolutely booming right now, especially at large banks.

Community banks relied on them before but now more than ever. Big banks have always tapped consulting for various things usually efficiency drives but more and more to be compliant with regulations as they are added and become more complicated.

 

[Chadstroma]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.

Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

Along with everything else, Wire Transfers have more regulations placed on them. They use to be no big deal and now they are a freaking nightmare headache. At my current bank, only management has access to the wire system and they have to wait several months to get a PIN to access it.

 

[Chadstroma]

Have you ever had sex in the vault on a big pile of money?

Who hasn't?

Not with yourself but with someone else?

Hey, the first question was not as specific.

 

[Chadstroma]

Why do I need a photo ID to deposit cash?

It use to be only would need that if you wanted a balance.... but now there are more, oh come on, you can guess the next word, starts with an R.

It really is centered around AML compliance (Anti-Money Laundering). If banks are not in compliance then they get big fines and slapped around by the regulators. So, Chase about a year ago or so went to NO cash deposits unless you are a signer on the account. How do you show you are a signer? ID. That is the only bank that I know of doing that. Other banks have put restrictions on how much cash you can deposit if you are a non-account signer (say, $500-1,000) and again, how do you show if you are a customer or not? ID.

 

[Chadstroma]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

How large was the amount of the wire? Different people have different levels of authority to wire money, but your bank must have piss poor customer service if they did not call and find a branch for you that could do the wire if they couldn't. I have limits to what I am allowed to do,but can get approval to go above if I have a need.

Yea, if you can not do something for someone a simple phone call or two on behalf of the customer is pretty much the automatic default what you do unless the customer is a jerk or you suck at your job.

 

[dino259]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

Along with everything else, Wire Transfers have more regulations placed on them. They use to be no big deal and now they are a freaking nightmare headache. At my current bank, only management has access to the wire system and they have to wait several months to get a PIN to access it.

Moneys gone, moneys gone! Slim to no chance of getting it back.

 

[D in the D]

Why do banks have 8 windows but only 2, maybe 3 tellers working even at the busiest times.

 

[Sand]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

How large was the amount of the wire? Different people have different levels of authority to wire money, but your bank must have piss poor customer service if they did not call and find a branch for you that could do the wire if they couldn't. I have limits to what I am allowed to do,but can get approval to go above if I have a need.

With title companies only accepting wire transfers now this has become pretty important to have access to wires. They did make phone calls for me but it was your general cluster of human failures that sent me looking around (stressful).

The down payment was in the typical FFA range - low seven figures or so.

 

[sfflchamp]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.

Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

I went to grad school with a hot girl who used to work as a teller and she noticed an electrician with a high bank balance. She had him come over to install some track lighting and now they are married with kids.

 

[Chadstroma]

Why do banks have 8 windows but only 2, maybe 3 tellers working even at the busiest times.

Because most bank branches were built many years ago when there was a ton of transactions and thus they carried alot of FTE from tellers to handle them. Now most branches are dead. My current branch is one of the busiest in the area and you can go long stretches.... 30 min, an hour, etc without a single customer. We have 3 full time tellers and one is out on vacation this week. For 95% of the time, the two tellers are more than sufficient to handle the customers coming in with a minimal wait (0-1 minute) wait time. Then people tend to come at the same times and/or someone has a more complicated/large transaction that takes longer than normal and then you are a customer waiting in line for 3 minutes instead looking at open windows in a branch built before direct deposit, ATM's, online banking, mobile banking, etc.

 

[Chadstroma]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

Crap - you mean instead of filling out 2 inches of paperwork and providing a blood sample of my firstborn I could have instead gotten a BJ for sending my loan to your bank? I got gypped but good.

Oh, and why in the blue blazes in the day of electronic banking did it take me visiting three branches to find the one jackhole with enough juice to sign off on my wire transfer?

How large was the amount of the wire? Different people have different levels of authority to wire money, but your bank must have piss poor customer service if they did not call and find a branch for you that could do the wire if they couldn't. I have limits to what I am allowed to do,but can get approval to go above if I have a need.

With title companies only accepting wire transfers now this has become pretty important to have access to wires. They did make phone calls for me but it was your general cluster of human failures that sent me looking around (stressful).

The down payment was in the typical FFA range - low seven figures or so.

If you do a lot of wires then there may be options to do them avoiding coming into the branch etc. Ask your banker.

 

[Das Boot]

Do you ever handle a transaction for a customer and notice a very large balance and wonder what the hell they do or how they came into so much money?

I always try to get the hot chick bank teller when my account balance is higher than normal hoping she tracks me down to ask me out later :flex:

Yup.Don't worry, the guy tellers are trying to work the line to time it to get the hot chick behind you. So, they are working in your favor. (though I never heard of your fantasy coming true... I have heard of women who were fired for giving sexual favors in order to get loans... so, maybe try that?)

I went to grad school with a hot girl who used to work as a teller and she noticed an electrician with a high bank balance. She had him come over to install some track lighting and now they are married with kids.

That's a pretty awesome story all the way around.

 

[Sand]

With title companies only accepting wire transfers now this has become pretty important to have access to wires. They did make phone calls for me but it was your general cluster of human failures that sent me looking around (stressful).

The down payment was in the typical FFA range - low seven figures or so.

If you do a lot of wires then there may be options to do them avoiding coming into the branch etc. Ask your banker.

House down payment. (For the love of God I hope I'm not moving again anytime soon.) Other than this I've used that service very infrequently.

Just interesting that title companies only want wires these days. I'd guess this has increased the need from banks.

 

[The Big Guy]

With title companies only accepting wire transfers now this has become pretty important to have access to wires. They did make phone calls for me but it was your general cluster of human failures that sent me looking around (stressful).

The down payment was in the typical FFA range - low seven figures or so.

If you do a lot of wires then there may be options to do them avoiding coming into the branch etc. Ask your banker.

House down payment. (For the love of God I hope I'm not moving again anytime soon.) Other than this I've used that service very infrequently.

Just interesting that title companies only want wires these days. I'd guess this has increased the need from banks.

It makes certain on their side that they have actually received the funds. You can put a stop on a bank check afterall.

 

[Chadstroma]

With title companies only accepting wire transfers now this has become pretty important to have access to wires. They did make phone calls for me but it was your general cluster of human failures that sent me looking around (stressful).

The down payment was in the typical FFA range - low seven figures or so.

If you do a lot of wires then there may be options to do them avoiding coming into the branch etc. Ask your banker.

House down payment. (For the love of God I hope I'm not moving again anytime soon.) Other than this I've used that service very infrequently.

Just interesting that title companies only want wires these days. I'd guess this has increased the need from banks.

Most title companies have a limit usually around $20-25K that if it is above that amount, it must be a wire transfer now. Essentially, a wire is more 'safe'