Butt Chugging Alcohol = Dangerous (1 Viewer)

[glock]

Damn it. And just when I'd become accustomed to my daily routine of coming home, getting naked, doing a headstand on the couch and having my wife pour a martini into my ###.

Does she put the olive in too?

Not any more. Last time, a particularly hearty fart cost our parakeet his life.

No olive? Once vertical, how do you prevent, uhm- spillage??

 

[pittstownkiller]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

 

[NCCommish]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

I'm thinking Merlot. Perhaps a nice California '83 vintage.

 

[bryhamm]

Who's the first idiot who thought this was a good idea?

 

[Rayderr]

This actually has a lot of potential. Like to drink on the job but worried about your boss smelling the booze on your breath? Do a lot of drinking and driving but get arrested once the Officer takes a whiff? Well Butt Chugging is your answer!

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Damn it. And just when I'd become accustomed to my daily routine of coming home, getting naked, doing a headstand on the couch and having my wife pour a martini into my ###.

Does she put the olive in too?

Not any more. Last time, a particularly hearty fart cost our parakeet his life.

No olive? Once vertical, how do you prevent, uhm- spillage??

You're focusing too much on the butt part and missing the word CHUG in there.

 

[glock]

Damn it. And just when I'd become accustomed to my daily routine of coming home, getting naked, doing a headstand on the couch and having my wife pour a martini into my ###.

Does she put the olive in too?

Not any more. Last time, a particularly hearty fart cost our parakeet his life.

No olive? Once vertical, how do you prevent, uhm- spillage??

You're focusing too much on the butt part and missing the word CHUG in there.

Chugging a martini is bad form...

 

[Tom Servo]

This actually has a lot of potential. Like to drink on the job but worried about your boss smelling the booze on your breath? Do a lot of drinking and driving but get arrested once the Officer takes a whiff? Well Butt Chugging is your answer!

"Well, Chief, the driver did fart a .10."

 

[saintfool]

you have to do this after watching the Vols play this year.

 

[Quint]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

I'm thinking Merlot. Perhaps a nice California '83 vintage.

come on. everybody knows Zinfandel pairs much better with ######.

 

[NCCommish]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

I'm thinking Merlot. Perhaps a nice California '83 vintage.

come on. everybody knows Zinfandel pairs much better with ######.

I bow to your superior knowledge and experience.

 

[Brony]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

I'm thinking Merlot. Perhaps a nice California '83 vintage.

Agree. I pick up a strong hint of dingleberries on the front end.

 

[bostonfred]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

1. Theres nothing wrong with wine in a box. 2. Unless you used a tampon to put it there.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

Yeah, a bottle seems much more conducive to anal alcohol distribution."Yeah, I'd like your skinniest necked bottle of wine please."

 

[Rayderr]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

Yeah, a bottle seems much more conducive to anal alcohol distribution.

Just gotta hope the bottle doesn't break.

 

[bostonfred]

In all seriousness, they probably take the plastic bladder of wine out of the box and squeeze.

 

[Henry Ford]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

I must admit I spared my better bottles this fate but it seemed appropriate for box wine. It is also very difficult to get a solid recommendation from your average wine store for butt chugging.

I'm thinking Merlot. Perhaps a nice California '83 vintage.

"I am not butt-chugging any ####### Merlot!"

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

 

[Henry Ford]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Until you get used to the bigger stuff, probably.

 

[Joe Summer]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

 

[Dentist]

Is this an improvement from those "eye" shots?

I guess i don't get it.

If we were in a REAL hurry to get black out drunk, the easy recipe is to run two miles on a fairly empty stomach, shower up, then instead of drinking water to replenish, just go with a couple shots and a big gulp vodka gatorade.

Nothing gets you black out drunk faster than booze on an empty dehydrated stomach.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

 

[Guest]

Finally something to add to my "Ways To Get High" list.

442. Toad Licking

443. Grizzly Feces Smoking

444. Butt Chugging

 

[Rayderr]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

 

[Henry Ford]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

Oh, jam it up your ###.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

Oh, jam it up your ###.

Oh, go send another birthday card to Hitler.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

This actually has a lot of potential. Like to drink on the job but worried about your boss smelling the booze on your breath? Do a lot of drinking and driving but get arrested once the Officer takes a whiff? Well Butt Chugging is your answer!

"Well, Chief, the driver did fart a .10."

:golfclap:

 

[Henry Ford]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

Oh, jam it up your ###.

Oh, go send another birthday card to Hitler.

I can't figure out what that has to do with butt chugging.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

Oh, jam it up your ###.

Oh, go send another birthday card to Hitler.

I can't figure out what that has to do with butt chugging.

Sorry for holding up the production line Henry. Let's get back to talking about people shoving bottles up their butts.

 

[Henry Ford]

Dammit Henry Ford, you stole my joke.

I've heard that Henry Ford stole a lot of ideas in his time.

Oh, jam it up your ###.

Oh, go send another birthday card to Hitler.

I can't figure out what that has to do with butt chugging.

Sorry for holding up the production line Henry. Let's get back to talking about people shoving bottles up their butts.

I was. Jam it up your ###. Let's party.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

MILES

First take your glass and examine

the wine against the light. You're

looking at color and clarity.

JACK

What color is it supposed to be?

MILES

Depends on the varietal. Just get a

sense of it. Thick? Thin? Watery?

Syrupy? Inky? Amber, whatever... now take your pants off

JACK

Huh.

MILES

Now tip it. What you're doing here

is checking for color density as it

thins toward the rim. Tells you how

old it is, among other things, usually

more important with reds. This is a

very young wine, so it's going to

retain its color pretty solidly. Now

stick your ### in it.

Jack waves the glass under his ### as if it were a perfume

bottle.

MILES

Don't be shy. Get your ### in there.

Jack now buries his ### in the glass.

MILES

What do you smell?

JACK

I don't know. It's under my ###

Miles farts.

MILES

There's not much there yet, but you

can still find...

(more farts)

...a little citrus... maybe some

strawberry... passion fruit... and

there's even a hint of like

asparagus... or like a nutty Edam

cheese.

Jack farts and begins to brighten.

JACK

Huh. Maybe a little strawberry. Yeah,

strawberry. I'm not so sure about

the cheese.

MILES

Now set your glass down and get some

air into it.

Miles expertly swirls the wine. Jack follows suit.

MILES

Oxygenating it opens it up, unlocks

the aroma and the flavors. Very

important. Now we fart again.

They do so. Jack smiles.

MILES

That's what you do with every one.

JACK

When do we get to pour it in our ###es?

MILES

Now.

Jack pours his in in one shot. Miles shakes his buttcheeks back and forth his before

chugging.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

 

[Ned]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

WTF? Just how big is your ###?

 

[Ned]

 

[Socrates11]

Odds on Steve McKenna doing a butt chug on the new season of 'Drinking Made Easy'?

 

[Rayderr]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

WTF? Just how big is your ###?

I'd say average size, but I didn't think airline bottles were that big. Maybe the size of 2 D batteries end to end? Seems like that should easily fit up there.

 

[NCCommish]

You know I think we are slipping into some icky places here in this thread.

 

[Tom Servo]

You know I think we are slipping into some icky places here in this thread.

Considering we started off by talking about butt boozing, there really wasn't any slipping...more like a shuffle.

 

[Run It Up]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

Whats the problem here? You certainly arent gonna taste it.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Wait, these guys were butt chugging wine?!?

Even worse, it was wine in a box.

Whats the problem here? You certainly arent gonna taste it.

It also sounds safer for your butt.crumpled cardboard > broken glass

 

[Ignoramus]

I saw Butt Chugging Alcohol two years ago at SXSW... Great live band but they've gone too mainstream for my taste.

 

[Ignoramus]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

WTF? Just how big is your ###?

I'd say average size, but I didn't think airline bottles were that big. Maybe the size of 2 D batteries end to end? Seems like that should easily fit up there.

I don't think a single AAA would easily fit up my poop chute, let alone two D cells. Freak.

 

[jon_mx]

Next years fantasy football team will be The Butt Chuggers!

 

[jon_mx]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

WTF? Just how big is your ###?

I'd say average size, but I didn't think airline bottles were that big. Maybe the size of 2 D batteries end to end? Seems like that should easily fit up there.

I don't think a single AAA would easily fit up my poop chute, let alone two D cells. Freak.

Your poop comes out about D size.

 

[B-Deep]

you know what's cool? Beer

Lets put it in my butt!

it's a step that would just never occur to me

 

[Ignoramus]

Wouldn't it be more efficient just to use airline shot bottles?

Run the risk of them slipping up in there. Then you end up having to make up a story for the proctologist that starts off with "It was a million to one shot!"

WTF? Just how big is your ###?

I'd say average size, but I didn't think airline bottles were that big. Maybe the size of 2 D batteries end to end? Seems like that should easily fit up there.

I don't think a single AAA would easily fit up my poop chute, let alone two D cells. Freak.

Your poop comes out about D size.

"Out" being the operative word here.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

"In Through The Out Door" was not my favorite Zep album.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

Paging WetDream. WetDream to the Butt Chugging thread.

 

[Wingnut]

This was news like 10 years ago.

 

[Cunk]

I bet the Nappa Valley folks hate to see these guys coming.