Child being bullied for weight (1 Viewer)

[Vanilla Guerrilla]

Update-  The bully just seems like a weird kid.  At one point he touched my son's genitals in the locker room several weeks ago.  My wife told the head of boy's camp and asked my son about it.  Head of boy's camp talked to bully and said, if I hear anything like this happening one more time, your parents are getting a phone call.  That was several weeks ago, and no complaints from my son since.

Related question regarding my son's athletic abilities.  We have been doing exercises in the house, and he recently learned to ride his bicycle, which was really exciting for all of us.

Signup for baseball is shortly, and he keeps saying, that he wants to play because his friends are playing, and he has always played.

Now that said, he is terrible at baseball (have to call a spade a spade), I think he knows he is terrible at baseball ("I never get a hit, and I think I get picked last a lot"), and I don't think he actually enjoys playing or watching baseball.

Do you just run him out there because he asked, or nudge him towards the other things discussed upthread?

You get better by playing.

I was usually picked close to last when I was younger at most sports, but I think it was more that I just didn't care.  Played soccer in grade school.  Played nothing in Junior High.

Senior High, a kid in one of my classes asked me if I wanted to play soccer.  They had 12 kids that signed up.  I had a lot of fun playing for 3 1/2 years or so and my showing up was appreciated.  I was never great, but I got better over time.

If he wants to play and he has friends that play, I don't know why you'd say no.

 

[avoiding injuries]

The genital touching is bothering me more than anything else you've said. 

 

[berndog]

I think you need to have a discussion to see what his motivation for playing is.  Maybe he enjoys that time spent with his friends and is ok with being terrible. Maybe he thinks you expect him  to play.  I would suggest offering an alternative activity say you can play baseball or we can use that time to ride your bike( or whatever).  Then take him to different parks, greenways etc to ride his bike.  He gets exercise and confidence and you spend quality time together. 

 

[El Floppo]

hey ned- totally missed this earlier... sorry you and Jr are going through this.

sounds like we have somewhat similar kids in regards to height and athletics. 9yo floppinho is decently skilled with hand/eye stuff, but has zero physical competitive ability/interest- which makes typical boy stuff a little rough. with soccer, he would rather talk with other people than try to get the ball. always been a kind of gentle giant (relative to his peers)... which is fine by me.. but also a constant battle because I was more of the athletic alpha type, so I have to work hard to empathize. 

I empathize with the struggle about continuing to sign him up for team sports like soccer (or baseball). on the one hand, I've always believed that competition is good and healthy.. and working towards a goal with team-mates is as well. of course... I've also seen the toll being bad at a sport surrounded by immature boys can wreak, so it's a fine line.

I'd say if your kid genuinely wants to do it- regardless of the reason- don't stand in the way. mine doesn't, so we're trying to come up with individual sports instead. he's taken a tennis "class" this summer and seems to really like it... but it hasn't gotten into any kind of competition yet, just learning the basics about how to hit the ball. I've been taking him jogging as well, with the goal of doing a 5k together and hoping he gets the bug. so far, he's pretty tepid about it. I keep trying to get him to some kind of martial arts for all the reasons posted in this thread- but he's really resistant.

does your kid have other interests and activities that keep him busy? 

does have a way of dealing with bullies that has had success?

sounds like this particular bully is a creep, so hopefully isn't a persistant thing with other kids. GL! (and if you're ever in NYC, let me know- we can get the kids together).

 

[shadyridr]

The genital touching is bothering me more than anything else you've said. 

Yeah how is this so quickly glossed over

 

[Wooderson]

Ask him if he really wants to play. If the other teammates are really his friends, then they won't mind if he sucks.

Also, the head of the boys camp should be fired.

Yep. No next time with this kind of stuff. 

 

[Joe Summer]

"If I hear anything about child molesting one more time, I'm going to tell your parents!"

 

[Pipes]

You should go to ##### or another sporting goods store and buy a bucket of baseballs and take your son to a batting cage.  Most little league facilities have multiple cages that are usually open on weekends (assuming no tournaments) and during the week if no games are going on.  Throw him hundreds of pitches.  Start out light tosses and as he's getting betting increase the speed.  He just needs repetitions at this point so spend time and work with him.  Better that he works with you as opposed to other kids who may shatter his confidence.  Hit him some ground balls and toss him some fly balls too.  Really just spend a lot of time with him at the park over the next few weeks to help build up his skills and confidence.

 

[Ned Ryerson]

Ask him if he really wants to play. If the other teammates are really his friends, then they won't mind if he sucks.

Also, the head of the boys camp should be fired.

Last year he played and the coach was a dad that I know, and he was on the team with three really good friends (I'm sure he was picked by the Dad as a favor).  In the fall, I don't know if he would be so lucky, and may be on a team with people he doesn't know, or doesn't know well, making it more likely he will be judged on his skills.

As far as the bully, it seems like it was a purposeful grazing, not a full on grab.  The kids are 9, not 15.  Stupid, crappy immature behavior, but under the circumstances, I'm OK with the outcome.  As long as he isn't giving my son #### anymore, if he stays at camp and does his own thing, it doesn't bother me.

 

[Ned Ryerson]

I think you need to have a discussion to see what his motivation for playing is.  Maybe he enjoys that time spent with his friends and is ok with being terrible. Maybe he thinks you expect him  to play.  I would suggest offering an alternative activity say you can play baseball or we can use that time to ride your bike( or whatever).  Then take him to different parks, greenways etc to ride his bike.  He gets exercise and confidence and you spend quality time together. 

This is fine if I thought he was going to be with friends.  i'm not sure if that is going to be the case.  No guarantee.

hey ned- totally missed this earlier... sorry you and Jr are going through this.

sounds like we have somewhat similar kids in regards to height and athletics. 9yo floppinho is decently skilled with hand/eye stuff, but has zero physical competitive ability/interest- which makes typical boy stuff a little rough. with soccer, he would rather talk with other people than try to get the ball. always been a kind of gentle giant (relative to his peers)... which is fine by me.. but also a constant battle because I was more of the athletic alpha type, so I have to work hard to empathize. 

I empathize with the struggle about continuing to sign him up for team sports like soccer (or baseball). on the one hand, I've always believed that competition is good and healthy.. and working towards a goal with team-mates is as well. of course... I've also seen the toll being bad at a sport surrounded by immature boys can wreak, so it's a fine line.

I'd say if your kid genuinely wants to do it- regardless of the reason- don't stand in the way. mine doesn't, so we're trying to come up with individual sports instead. he's taken a tennis "class" this summer and seems to really like it... but it hasn't gotten into any kind of competition yet, just learning the basics about how to hit the ball. I've been taking him jogging as well, with the goal of doing a 5k together and hoping he gets the bug. so far, he's pretty tepid about it. I keep trying to get him to some kind of martial arts for all the reasons posted in this thread- but he's really resistant.

does your kid have other interests and activities that keep him busy? 

does have a way of dealing with bullies that has had success?

sounds like this particular bully is a creep, so hopefully isn't a persistant thing with other kids. GL! (and if you're ever in NYC, let me know- we can get the kids together).

Thanks for this Floppo.  Its tough because I feel like the situations are bit different.  Your kid could play, but doesn't want to (or have the heart to), mine could, but is not good at it and it effects his confidence.

I have been thinking about tennis, which for now, is less competitive.

 

[Gr00vus]

mine could, but is not good at it and it effects his confidence.

Only way he's going to become good is by practicing. That's the case with just about any sport (or any other activity really). So find out if he really wants to play, and if so, practice with him.

 

[James Daulton]

You should go to ##### or another sporting goods store and buy a bucket of baseballs and take your son to a batting cage.  Most little league facilities have multiple cages that are usually open on weekends (assuming no tournaments) and during the week if no games are going on.  Throw him hundreds of pitches.  Start out light tosses and as he's getting betting increase the speed.  He just needs repetitions at this point so spend time and work with him.  Better that he works with you as opposed to other kids who may shatter his confidence.  Hit him some ground balls and toss him some fly balls too.  Really just spend a lot of time with him at the park over the next few weeks to help build up his skills and confidence.

Great advice right here.

 

[belljr]

You should go to ##### or another sporting goods store and buy a bucket of baseballs and take your son to a batting cage.  Most little league facilities have multiple cages that are usually open on weekends (assuming no tournaments) and during the week if no games are going on.  Throw him hundreds of pitches.  Start out light tosses and as he's getting betting increase the speed.  He just needs repetitions at this point so spend time and work with him.  Better that he works with you as opposed to other kids who may shatter his confidence.  Hit him some ground balls and toss him some fly balls too.  Really just spend a lot of time with him at the park over the next few weeks to help build up his skills and confidence.

Start with soft toss and tee if you have it.  THen what PIPES said

And kids playing Fall Baseball "usually" are you better players.  Yes the fall season is "more relaxed" but from what I noticed the kids playing fall ball are the ones that takeit "more serious"

 

[skol asylum]

Bullies suck. My older daughter has had her bouts with bullies and is again dealing with it. Makes me want to punch their parents in the face for being such ####ty parents and creating the little worthless freaks. So frustrating.

 

[Beef Ravioli]

Have you asked your son about martial arts yet? Whoever suggested that, had a great idea. It will help him with confidence, physical shape and balance. Most kids are intrigued by it and will be drawn to it.