What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Deserted Island with Kate Upton or Nipsey? (1 Viewer)

What's up with Timschochet?

  • I dunno, man

    Votes: 63 52.1%

  • He's a weirdo

    Votes: 58 47.9%
  • Total voters
    121
Good Posting Judge

Good Posting Judge

Footballguy
You are stranded on a deserted island for five years with either Nipsey or Kate Upton. With Nipsey, he's going to be reliable, mentally stable, and helpful as you guys make huts, fish, gather berries, etc. An ideal island-mate in every way.

With Kate Upton, you get to have secks with her in any fashion you wish, but there's a 15% chance that at some point during the 5 years she's going to tie you up and torture you, while making sure you stay alive as long as possible. Salt-water in the eyes, bamboo-shoots under the fingernails, a car battery hooked up to your weiner, she cuts pieces of your skin off, and does the "Misery" thing where she thwocks your ankles out of place.

Who do you choose?

 
The partner I'd choose for my desert isle

Would have to be useful and hunky

'Cause I doubt I could finish or endure the crazy

From a woman who's that round and chunky. [/otis]

 
On average, in a typical 5-year trip, one would expect about 136 days, 21 hours of torture. Seems like a lot to endure.

 
'Good said:
a car battery hooked up to your weiner
Click to expand...
This is why I gotta take Nipsey. Crazy woman has a car battery that could be useful in building a boat, but instead of sharing this information, she's gonna hide it away so she can potentially fry my junk with it.
 
'Good said:
You are stranded on a deserted island for five years with either Nipsey or Kate Upton. With Nipsey, he's going to be reliable, mentally stable, and helpful as you guys make huts, fish, gather berries, etc. An ideal island-mate in every way.With Kate Upton, you get to have secks with her in any fashion you wish, but there's a 15% chance that at some point during the 5 years she's going to tie you up and torture you, while making sure you stay alive as long as possible. Salt-water in the eyes, bamboo-shoots under the fingernails, a car battery hooked up to your weiner, she cuts pieces of your skin off, and does the "Misery" thing where she thwocks your ankles out of place.Who do you choose?
Click to expand...
where did she get the car battery?
 
'Kool-Aid Larry said:
'Good said:
You are stranded on a deserted island for five years with either Nipsey or Kate Upton. With Nipsey, he's going to be reliable, mentally stable, and helpful as you guys make huts, fish, gather berries, etc. An ideal island-mate in every way.With Kate Upton, you get to have secks with her in any fashion you wish, but there's a 15% chance that at some point during the 5 years she's going to tie you up and torture you, while making sure you stay alive as long as possible. Salt-water in the eyes, bamboo-shoots under the fingernails, a car battery hooked up to your weiner, she cuts pieces of your skin off, and does the "Misery" thing where she thwocks your ankles out of place.Who do you choose?
Click to expand...
where did she get the car battery?
Click to expand...
Space debris from a falling moon rocket?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
'Good said:
You are stranded on a deserted island for five years with either Nipsey or Kate Upton. With Nipsey, he's going to be reliable, mentally stable, and helpful as you guys make huts, fish, gather berries, etc. An ideal island-mate in every way.With Kate Upton, you get to have secks with her in any fashion you wish, but there's a 15% chance that at some point during the 5 years she's going to tie you up and torture you, while making sure you stay alive as long as possible. Salt-water in the eyes, bamboo-shoots under the fingernails, a car battery hooked up to your weiner, she cuts pieces of your skin off, and does the "Misery" thing where she thwocks your ankles out of place.Who do you choose?
Click to expand...
She is a sadistic #####; stranded on an island and she still has to torture you?
 
Nipsey would not stand a chance against my wile and charm. He would be mine, make no mistake about it, he would be mine. Even on a deserted island, Kate Upton would find better options.

 
Is it 15% that any one of those things can happen or if I get 'unlucky' are all of those thing going to happen?

Going with Kate either way, I just like to know what might happen. 85% chance I live with the broad and don't get my nuts strapped to a battery seems OK.

If she goes 15% on the last day it is still a good decision. 15% on the first day, I lose.

I assume we are rolling one d100 on the the first day and not every day. How exactly is the 15% decided?

What exactly happens at the end of the 5 years? We are picked up and returned to our previous lives? Maybe have some electric burns on the sac or teeth marks?

I am sure Nipsey is great, but 5 years?

 
James Daulton said:
Duh, just limit it to Blue and Brown dots.
Click to expand...
oh yeah... I'll unload a brown dot on her all right.

As an aside, when I voted in the poll nearly 4 years ago I didn't realize Kate was huge... what like 6' or something?   She's notably bigger than I am.   I'll take the nipsey option, or if I could swap Kate for Charlotte McKinney I'll vote for her.

 
Dentist said:
oh yeah... I'll unload a brown dot on her all right.

As an aside, when I voted in the poll nearly 4 years ago I didn't realize Kate was huge... what like 6' or something?   She's notably bigger than I am.   I'll take the nipsey option, or if I could swap Kate for Charlotte McKinney I'll vote for her.
Click to expand...
You're a dentist and really short.  Explains a lot.

 
Dentist said:
oh yeah... I'll unload a brown dot on her all right.

As an aside, when I voted in the poll nearly 4 years ago I didn't realize Kate was huge... what like 6' or something?   She's notably bigger than I am.   I'll take the nipsey option, or if I could swap Kate for Charlotte McKinney I'll vote for her.
Click to expand...
I thought at first you were talking about Kate Mckinnon from SNL who is openly gay. 

That McKinney is falling out of her top a lot lately. 

 
For 5 minutes a day, Kate is the choice.

For 23 hours and 55 minutes a day, Nipsey is the choice.

I choose Kate

:coffee:

 
Bob Sacamano said:
The partner I'd choose for my desert isle

Would have to be useful and hunky

'Cause I doubt I could finish or endure the crazy

From a woman who's that round and chunky. [/otis]
Click to expand...
This is 4 years old,  before FFA had likes,  but man does  it ever deserve them 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top