Exchanging Gifts is Stupid (1 Viewer)

[Zow]

I get why it was cool for a long time to exchange gifts.  But it has totally outlived its usefulness.

Whenever my wife gets me a gift it's like "aww crap, now I have to think of something to get her (and it better be cool)".

My first thought is, "crap, this was expensive and I really didn't need this." 

I've flat out told my wife that if I want something I'll just buy it throughout the year. She's cool with it.  My "gift" this year was her being cool with me golfing 2 days over the holiday (usually would just do one) and 1 of those rounds was a 45 hole marathon day. I was happy. 

 

[urbanhack]

stopped exchanging or getting gifts 7 or 8 years ago.  Don't need anything.  It's a waste of time and no need to stress out and get people #### they end up not using.

*we still buy some gifts for nieces and nephews under 18....but that's it.

 

[urbanhack]

Ah yes.  The one way we can make this exchange even less personal and thoughtful.

"Here's twenty five dollars for being my friend again this year.  

Cool, here's twenty five dollars for you as well."  

Anything we can do to make this more like paying a utility bill, ammiright?  Unless you're giving to a grandkid or niece or something, or it's a wedding, giving another grown human cash in a card for a present is embarrassing.  

Is it better than giving a gift they hate or they will never use and goes to waste?

 

[fantasycurse42]

Unless you're giving to a grandkid or niece or something, or it's a wedding, giving another grown human cash in a card for a present is embarrassing.  

If you read the OP, you'll see I completely agree with this.

Even with my own kids, they have enough ####, they don't need endless gifts. 

Im just in a situation where my in-laws are Christmas loving gift exchanging maniacs.

 

[Statorama]

My first thought is, "crap, this was expensive and I really didn't need this." 

I've flat out told my wife that if I want something I'll just buy it throughout the year. She's cool with it.  My "gift" this year was her being cool with me golfing 2 days over the holiday (usually would just do one) and 1 of those rounds was a 45 hole marathon day. I was happy. 

Amen brother. 

I've at least whittled her down to not exchanging Christmas Gifts, but I just can't shake her on the birthdays.

If you want something, go buy it.  The world is your oyster.  "Hey, look what you got me for my birthday" - I'm in

 

[Otis]

Is it better than giving a gift they hate or they will never use and goes to waste?

No.

 

[Jayded]

We do this with family. Our son is six and I've told family any gifts they want to buy should be for him alone and with zero obligation since he's got plenty already. 

I usually still get my wife something and sign it from Santa so it doesn't appear I got her anything to junior. This year I got her a new robe because hers is old and ugly and just signed the tag, "Wow. Honey, it's time. Love Santa"

My parents completely abused the rule this year and got each other stuff and our son a lot and then even got us something. So not only did we have an agreement, but they broke it and made us look like schmucks. 

 

[sports_fan]

I'm just using the Amazon gift cards I received to buy Amazon gift cards to give away next year 

 

[Zow]

My wife's brother got my sister in law's kids gifts. We got both sets of nieces and nephews gifts for brother and sister in law. Wife's sister's family got our foster kids gifts. My wife's brother did not get our foster kids anything.  

How outraged should we be at wife's brother and his family?

 

[McGarnicle]

If you actually care about people and you think about what they would like and they open your present and you can tell they like it, that's a pretty amazing feeling. If you're selfish and you have no conscience, I can see how you might not understand this.

I work with a guy who is kind of a loser and he has a face that makes you want to look away. So I bought him a 6-pack of Tenga eggs. His reaction was unforgettable, as were those of our other 17 coworkers at the holiday luncheon.

 

[urbanhack]

No.

Cool.

 

[ditka...mike ditka]

Ha, we do one of these every year.  The women in the family take it super seriously and care.  All the guys painfully sit through and just pray they can get a bottle of booze worth about the same as what they spent on their gift. 

I got hosed this year.  I gave a $30 gift card to Fogo de Chao and wound up holding a $18 dollar bottle of whisky at the end. Yay. 

Id rather have an $18 bottle of whiskey than a $30 gift card to Fogo de Chao any day...

 

[elguapo07]

Not only did I have to get  presents for 11 nieces/nephews on both sides (which is getting to be  a bit much) but I helped out my impoverished elderly mom with buying her 6 grandkids gifts as well as my 5 siblings something for her.   That's what us FBG do.

 

[Osaurus]

If you actually care about people and you think about what they would like and they open your present and you can tell they like it, that's a pretty amazing feeling. If you're selfish and you have no conscience, I can see how you might not understand this.

I work with a guy who is kind of a loser and he has a face that makes you want to look away. So I bought him a 6-pack of Tenga eggs. His reaction was unforgettable, as were those of our other 17 coworkers at the holiday luncheon.

I had to look those up.  How many of your coworkers knew what they were?

 

[McGarnicle]

I had to look those up.  How many of your coworkers knew what they were?

Initially maybe one or two, but it didn't take long.

 

[FUBAR]

My family stopped exchanging gifts for the adults over a decade ago. Mrs. Christo bought into it immediately 

my side - we buy for our parents, our parents just send my sister and I money for the family so we buy things and tell them Grandma and Grandpa bought them, we spend about 1/3 on stuff - this year all games for the family, and the rest on doing stuff. 

wife's side - we buy for her parents who buy for everyone, we buy for our nephews and the aunts/uncles buy for our kids.  My wife has gotten big into vinyling shirts and coffee mugs, stuff like that, so she makes our generation gifts which everyone seems to like.  It's fairly inexpensive but thoughtful and personal. 

Work - we do a dirty santa. I ended up getting the gift I brought.  

Otherwise, nada. 

 

[FUBAR]

I've flat out told my wife that if I want something I'll just buy it throughout the year. She's cool with it.  My "gift" this year was her being cool with me golfing 2 days over the holiday (usually would just do one) and 1 of those rounds was a 45 hole marathon day. I was happy. 

we did the same thing, basically.  I gave my wife "permission" (which isn't really needed but whatever) for her to attend a conference away from home for a weekend, she gave me "permission" (yeah, same) for me to run a 100 mile race next November - and train for it.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

Got the wife a dooney "weekender" bag that she loves and a le cresut braiser. Big hits. Christmas is fun if you do it right. 

Literally have no idea what any of this means.

 

[Hawks64]

My wife's brother got my sister in law's kids gifts. We got both sets of nieces and nephews gifts for brother and sister in law. Wife's sister's family got our foster kids gifts. My wife's brother did not get our foster kids anything.  

How outraged should we be at wife's brother and his family?

It's pretty ####ty for sure, I would gauge your outrage by how pissed your wife is. Just support whatever level of fury she wants to go to. Just know you and your wife are doing an amazing selfless thing IMO. Karma has a way of working #### out.

 

[Maurile Tremblay]

An Amazon gift card is the equivalent to cash IMO.

Pretty much any gift card is the equivalent of cash, but Amazon is closest to face value.

 

[rockaction]

Pretty much any gift card is the equivalent of cash, but Amazon is closest to face value.

I've used Coinstar, MT. It never works. And I'm talking basic cards, like Starbucks. Always says it's down for the day.  

 

[joffer]

I think he de-gifted, and the he re-gifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as an excuse for a super bowl sex romp

 

[Riversco]

For adults its easy.  Fiction books.  Cost very little and a big hit.  Focus on books that are getting adapted into big budget films in the next year or two so they can have read the source material.  

 

[Riversco]

Generally, the way its supposed to work is you spend time with these people and take note when they mention they really want something.  

 

[rockaction]

I gave straight cash to nieces and nephews this year because I actually thought it was more thoughtful to let them get what they wanted instead of guessing, but I agree with the people who think thoughtful, tangible gifts are better.

I did that last year and got thrilled reactions. One niece sat and read her book all through the day and then we talked about it. I guess I should have gone that route this year, but I never really got feedback from the others so I figured cash was better -- I'm not sure I was right.

 

[msommer]

We (my siblings and SOs) haven't exchanged gifts in a few years.  For some reason my sister thought it would be great if we did a "white elephant gift card exchange".  

Oh yeah. Total blast.  I can't begin to describe how fun it was to buy a Nordstrom Rack card and get a Chipotle one in exchange.  

The memories will last a lifetime.  (Single tear runs down my cheek)

I bet the diarrhea was world class, though!

 

[FUBAR]

For adults its easy.  Fiction books.  Cost very little and a big hit.  Focus on books that are getting adapted into big budget films in the next year or two so they can have read the source material.  

We haven't bought a book since the 7th harry potter.  But as a gift, this probably works very well.

 

[mr. furley]

if you think exchanging gifts is stupid, how about directing people which gifts to buy you, letting them buy, wrap and present to you... and then giving them the money for said gift.

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

I bet the diarrhea was world class, though!

Chipotle doesn't give me diarrhea.  I'm not Canadian.

 

[fantasycurse42]

If you actually care about people and you think about what they would like and they open your present and you can tell they like it, that's a pretty amazing feeling. If you're selfish and you have no conscience, I can see how you might not understand this.

In the OP I note excluding wife and kids.

I got my MIL/FIL Clapton tickets, they loved it. I guess it felt kinda good, but where does it stop? Cousins? Wife's aunt/uncle? BIL? SIL? 

I always nail my wife/kids gifts, but there needs to be a limit here. 

Spent about $2500 on gifts for about 15 people this year (excluding my wife/kids), this is what wife/kids/myself received:

A dirt devil handheld (we own an amazing Dyson handheld) which I donated to Salvation Army

3 shirts I donated to the Salvation Army

gift certificate to Mortons Steakhouse (I don't like chain steakhouses)

2 $50 Amazon gift cards (my favorite gifts)

pocketbook my wife will never wear once

wallet - I've had the same wallet for about a decade, I hope it lasts at least another decade. Donated to Salvation Army

sheets/mattress set for a California King (we own a regular sized King)

8 useless toys, of which we own 6 already. Salvation Army again

A telescope, which while I like the thought (A) NYC is really not the best play to view the stars (B) more importantly, my 4 year old has no clue that our building has a rooftop and I have no intention of letting him walking up there and finding out about it, way too dangerous.

I'd rather exchange donations to charity or nothing at all with anyone beyond my wife/kids. All of that money spent on the garbage we received could've been used for much better or beneficial things. Debating just going on vacation next year and trying to skip those entire Shenanigan.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Oh, and pretending to be happy and excited when receiving all of this #### in the aforementioned post, that's equally terrible and uncomfortable. 

 

[fantasycurse42]

Do you guys buy your boss a gift?

That one has a purpose IMO - boss likes his brown liquor, I buy him an expensive single malt scotch every year. Usually when he is sipping it, he'll shoot me a text to thank me.

 

[Pipes]

Do you guys buy your boss a gift?

That one has a purpose IMO - boss likes his brown liquor, I buy him an expensive single malt scotch every year. Usually when he is sipping it, he'll shoot me a text to thank me.

Not individually but we chip in as a company (approx. 20 people) and get something nice.  We typically get great year end bonuses so it's nice to "repay" the favor.  This year we chipped in for a weekend getaway to the American Club in Kohler WI. 

 

[Osaurus]

Not individually but we chip in as a company (approx. 20 people) and get something nice.  We typically get great year end bonuses so it's nice to "repay" the favor.  This year we chipped in for a weekend getaway to the American Club in Kohler WI. 

That's a pretty sweet gift.

 

[Pipes]

That's a pretty sweet gift.

Yeah like I said we get very generous bonuses plus the boss comes back in a great mood so it's a win/win for everyone.

 

[Christo]

For adults its easy.  Fiction books.  Cost very little and a big hit.  Focus on books that are getting adapted into big budget films in the next year or two so they can have read the source material.  

That sucks.

 

[mr. furley]

Not individually but we chip in as a company (approx. 20 people) and get something nice.  We typically get great year end bonuses so it's nice to "repay" the favor.  This year we chipped in for a weekend getaway to the American Club in Kohler WI. 

what's that, $50 a person?

 

[Pipes]

what's that, $50 a person?

I think we were in the $1,500 or so neighborhood...not exactly sure.  We purchased a couple of the treatments for the boss and spouse plus covered a nice dinner and drinks.  HR lady passed the hat around for anonymous contributions then myself and a couple of others in the management team split the remainder.