Party thrown by Jones Turns FatalSource: Associated PressThousands of young children are awakening this morning to tragic news. Adam Jones, former bad boy, now Dallas Cowboy trying to resuscitate his image, must face this nation's youth and take responsibility for the latest casualty of his partying lifestyle. It began innocently enough, and one cannot fault Mr. Jones's effort to be a positive influence to kids in his new home town of Dallas. He rented out a local Chuck-E-Cheese restaurant and invited kids from around the city to come celebrate with him. Other Cowboys, Jerry Jones, and Commissioner Roger Goodell were in attendance, talking with parents, posing for pictures, and bringing smiles to every child there. It seemed that Adam Jones was doing all the right things, and in the presence of the Commissioner no less. Then, things went down hill, and the laughter died…quickly. Adam got on stage and said he had a special surprise, he introduced a guest comedian he had flown in just for the event, known everywhere by young and old alike, Fozzie Bear from world famous Sesame Street. The children cheered as Fozzie took the stage. He proceeded to tell one of his well-known bad jokes, and as if in slow motion, he was pelted with round after round of tomatoes, each hitting their mark, deadly accurate. He fell motionless, the place in complete silence. One lone child's voice could then be heard "Mommy is he...dead?" Yes, my anonymous innocent, Fozzie Bear is dead. Paramedics worked on him and he was swiftly flown to the nearby medical center where he was pronounced dead. The Doctors said no man, woman, or bear could survive that much salmonella at one time. They assured everyone that he did not feel anything, and he "was dead before the final tomato hit."Lifelong friend, Kermit the Frog spoke to the press shortly afterward, "It’s...it’s just a shock. I have not felt this shocked since I saw these two girls on youtube sharing a….well it’s just a shock. "Adam Jones has declined to comment on his ill fated party that left over forty of Dallas's future traumatized. In a statement from Michael Jackson, he offered to invite any child that witnessed the event to his ranch to help them cope.[ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ OUR VIEW ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]Adam Jones may have thrown his last party as a NFL player. But, he certainly has a part in the upcoming remake of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". This one is for you Fozzie: "Wocka Wocka Wocka".