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FBGs track their wives’ cars and check their oil (1 Viewer)

Otis said:
Not to fan the flames, but two boxes of pregnancy tests arrived at the house today.
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Really want that boy, don't you?  Listen man, take it from me.  Just stop.  Otherwise you might mess around and get a double double like 'Ol GM here.  Forget having enough time alone together to actually do some sex; I haven't been able to so much as get an erection after my wife said the word "twins" to me.  I'm ruined, Otis.  RUINED!  I used to enjoy the relations, looked forward to them even.  I used to chase my younger bride around the house and slap her well sculpted derriere.  I'd follow her into the shower and sometimes join in.  Now I am permanently exhausted and disgusted by the entire thought of intercourse.  I can't unsee the two boys coming out of her Aphrodite now, I'm suffering form PTSD - ##### Turned Suddenly Distasteful.  It's awful.  

So you wise up, Otis. You hear me?  You go get snipped right now.  There's a chance you may well make it where I failed.  AVENGE ME, OTIS!!!!!  AVENGE ME!!! 

 
gianmarco said:
"Hey honey, you're up early"

:doingsitupsoutsideshowerdoor: "Yep!! Turn around and let me see that beautiful face of yours!"
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 I know a midget or whatever guy who likes to walk up to random women and tell them their hair smells nice. 

 Also, for parties, he'll wear a sombrero filled with chips and salsa for free beer. Quite epic really.

 
General Malaise said:
Really want that boy, don't you?  Listen man, take it from me.  Just stop.  Otherwise you might mess around and get a double double like 'Ol GM here.  Forget having enough time alone together to actually do some sex; I haven't been able to so much as get an erection after my wife said the word "twins" to me.  I'm ruined, Otis.  RUINED!  I used to enjoy the relations, looked forward to them even.  I used to chase my younger bride around the house and slap her well sculpted derriere.  I'd follow her into the shower and sometimes join in.  Now I am permanently exhausted and disgusted by the entire thought of intercourse.  I can't unsee the two boys coming out of her Aphrodite now, I'm suffering form PTSD - ##### Turned Suddenly Distasteful.  It's awful.  

So you wise up, Otis. You hear me?  You go get snipped right now.  There's a chance you may well make it where I failed.  AVENGE ME, OTIS!!!!!  AVENGE ME!!! 
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:lmao:

Youre exactly who I thought of when I posted that.  Awesome. 

 
General Malaise said:
Really want that boy, don't you?  Listen man, take it from me.  Just stop.  Otherwise you might mess around and get a double double like 'Ol GM here.  Forget having enough time alone together to actually do some sex; I haven't been able to so much as get an erection after my wife said the word "twins" to me.  I'm ruined, Otis.  RUINED!  I used to enjoy the relations, looked forward to them even.  I used to chase my younger bride around the house and slap her well sculpted derriere.  I'd follow her into the shower and sometimes join in.  Now I am permanently exhausted and disgusted by the entire thought of intercourse.  I can't unsee the two boys coming out of her Aphrodite now, I'm suffering form PTSD - ##### Turned Suddenly Distasteful.  It's awful.  

So you wise up, Otis. You hear me?  You go get snipped right now.  There's a chance you may well make it where I failed.  AVENGE ME, OTIS!!!!!  AVENGE ME!!! 
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
General Malaise said:
Really want that boy, don't you?  Listen man, take it from me.  Just stop.  Otherwise you might mess around and get a double double like 'Ol GM here.  Forget having enough time alone together to actually do some sex; I haven't been able to so much as get an erection after my wife said the word "twins" to me.  I'm ruined, Otis.  RUINED!  I used to enjoy the relations, looked forward to them even.  I used to chase my younger bride around the house and slap her well sculpted derriere.  I'd follow her into the shower and sometimes join in.  Now I am permanently exhausted and disgusted by the entire thought of intercourse.  I can't unsee the two boys coming out of her Aphrodite now, I'm suffering form PTSD - ##### Turned Suddenly Distasteful.  It's awful.  

So you wise up, Otis. You hear me?  You go get snipped right now.  There's a chance you may well make it where I failed.  AVENGE ME, OTIS!!!!!  AVENGE ME!!! 
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Plot twist -- Oates is already snipped.

 
mr. furley said:
you sonofa#####

it will take me days to get this song out of my head now  :hot:
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When this came out my nephew would go around singing it at the top of his lungs.  I had him in a grocery store with me when he shouted  out "Original cute body you make a man mud up!"  This woman shopping near by got thoroughly offended.  When he then sang something else in Dutch, his native tongue, she looked at me like I was the world's worst parent and left in a huff.  I think she mistook his Dutch for something else entirely. We continued singing the song.  He, all the words, me just the move it move it part and physically fit, physically fit, the two parts I knew.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
When this came out my nephew would go around singing it at the top of his lungs.  I had him in a grocery store with me when he shouted  out "Original cute body you make a man mud up!"  This woman shopping near by got thoroughly offended.  When he then sang something else in Dutch, his native tongue, she looked at me like I was the world's worst parent and left in a huff.  I think she mistook his Dutch for something else entirely. We continued singing the song.  He, all the words, me just the move it move it part and physically fit, physically fit, the two parts I knew.
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Sure, it’s adorable when a little Dutch boy does it.

6 months of counselling and I still can’t go back to the produce section of that Safeway.

 
Otis a couple things I would look at doing with location services.  

1.  You can look at a location history if she has an iPhone.  If you know where this guy lives, or her story doesn’t match up with her friends house, it will show it here.

2.  Turn location services on and don’t say anything about it.  Most people don’t realize they have it on or off if they aren’t trying to hide anything.  Then, next time she goes out by herself check to see her location.  If it is turned back on, you know she is hiding something.

3.  Use the “find my friends” feature on the iPhone to secretly track her without her knowing.

All of these involve having access to her phone, which might be difficult without her passcode.  If you know it, patiently wait for the time until you can get to her phone to set this up.  

 
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General Malaise said:
Really want that boy, don't you?  Listen man, take it from me.  Just stop.  Otherwise you might mess around and get a double double like 'Ol GM here.  Forget having enough time alone together to actually do some sex; I haven't been able to so much as get an erection after my wife said the word "twins" to me.  I'm ruined, Otis.  RUINED!  I used to enjoy the relations, looked forward to them even.  I used to chase my younger bride around the house and slap her well sculpted derriere.  I'd follow her into the shower and sometimes join in.  Now I am permanently exhausted and disgusted by the entire thought of intercourse.  I can't unsee the two boys coming out of her Aphrodite now, I'm suffering form PTSD - ##### Turned Suddenly Distasteful.  It's awful.  

So you wise up, Otis. You hear me?  You go get snipped right now.  There's a chance you may well make it where I failed.  AVENGE ME, OTIS!!!!!  AVENGE ME!!! 
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And just like that.... @General Malaise reminds us all why he's SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER around here.... 

 
dschuler said:
Otis a couple things I would look at doing with location services.  

1.  You can look at a location history if she has an iPhone.  If you know where this guy lives, or her story doesn’t match up with her friends house, it will show it here.

2.  Turn location services on and don’t say anything about it.  Most people don’t realize they have it on or off if they aren’t trying to hide anything.  Then, next time she goes out by herself check to see her location.  If it is turned back on, you know she is hiding something.

3.  Use the “find my friends” feature on the iPhone to secretly track her without her knowing.

All of these involve having access to her phone, which might be difficult without her passcode.  If you know it, patiently wait for the time until you can get to her phone to set this up.  
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Thanks Colombo. 

 
Also, if you can’t get into her phone, drop a $100 and buy a GPS tracking device and put it in her spare tire kit or something.  Link it to your phone and track her that way.  Honestly that might be the easiest thing to do.

 
dschuler said:
Also, if you can’t get into her phone, drop a $100 and buy a GPS tracking device and put it in her spare tire kit or something.  Link it to your phone and track her that way.  Honestly that might be the easiest thing to do.
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This is more spy vs spy. 

Plus he can give us his password to his app and we can follow along. 

 
ProstheticRGK said:
Mind blown.

The lady that got offended, it was Regina, wasn’t it? Would you be willing to write a letter of recommendation to my PO?
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Don't know the lady's name.  Sure, I'll write your P.O.  I'll let him know that but for that one slip up with Rita from Cleveland you have pretty much complied with all of your parole conditions, and hey, that slip up was more than two weeks ago now and could happen to anybody who happened to get into an argument, in a strip club, with the talent, while wearing a Lloyd Bridges mask and a pair of flippers.  I even hear she's out of treatment now and back performing.

 
I think the only prudent course of action is to hire Jason Bourne to track her whereabouts nonstop, and have him "take care of" the ex if she so much as enters the same building. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Don't know the lady's name.  Sure, I'll write your P.O.  I'll let him know that but for that one slip up with Rita from Cleveland you have pretty much complied with all of your parole conditions, and hey, that slip up was more than two weeks ago now and could happen to anybody who happened to get into an argument, in a strip club, with the talent, while wearing a Lloyd Bridges mask and a pair of flippers.  I even hear she's out of treatment now and back performing.
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Well, I am glad to hear about Rita. If she had just told me how she could tell the difference between the blue and red ping pong balls, all of that could have been avoided. I am a man of science, by god, and science will not be denied! Admittedly, not allowing my ben wa balls to cool after leaving them under the buffet table hot lamps was a mistake.

p.s. @Otis if you need a tracking device, i have a set of ben wa balls with gps capability. Only used once, but a quick clean with a lysol wipe should be enough. I think dschuler is onto something here.

 
dschuler said:
Also, if you can’t get into her phone, drop a $100 and buy a GPS tracking device and put it in her spare tire kit or something.  Link it to your phone and track her that way.  Honestly that might be the easiest thing to do.
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Put it in the gas cap!

 
Pretty happy when my wife goes out with her friends that my main objective is to not masturbate, that way, I'm fully prepared for a fun ride when she gets in. 

If I was putting trackers on my wife and monitoring her every move, I'd prob just jump out of a window. 

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Pretty happy when my wife goes out with her friends that my main objective is to not masturbate, that way, I'm fully prepared for a fun ride when she gets in. 

If I was putting trackers on my wife and monitoring her every move, I'd prob just jump out of a window. 
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Totes disagree. I'm not giving her the easy one.

 
Ok, truth be told I put the ex up to this, as I was miffed that you failed to post an all Otis team this year.  Not my finest hour, but I'm owning it.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Pretty happy when my wife goes out with her friends that my main objective is to not masturbate, that way, I'm fully prepared for a fun ride when she gets in. 

If I was putting trackers on my wife and monitoring her every move, I'd prob just jump out of a window. 
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Wait a minute, I am obviously doing this all wrong. When my wife isn't around, is when i MASTURBATE not when I WAIT to MASTURBATE. 

 
dschuler said:
Also, if you can’t get into her phone, drop a $100 and buy a GPS tracking device and put it in her spare tire kit or something.  Link it to your phone and track her that way.  Honestly that might be the easiest thing to do.
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How many random schvantzes did your ex gobble down? 

 
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