shake zula
Footballguy
I would love to see a transcript of what happened at the initial hearing Oregon. Absent that, a detailed explanation re what the judge said, what the state said, and what your lawyers said.
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Found out my son is being abused. Update #696 (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter seahawk 17
- Start date
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
You should double check with your attorney, but some quick googling shows that both Indiana and Oregon have one party consent wire tapping laws. So you can legally record all the phone calls between you and the kids' mom and between her and the kids. I would seriously get on that immediately. Sounds like she's dumb enough to give you all sorts of evidence.
PolishNorbi
Footballguy
The only thing is make sure you properly do it so it can be admissible (if there are such rules).
Man In The Box
Footballguy
Yep. Don't have much to add here, but I've been following this thread closely since I have 2 kids of my own and can't imagine being in this spot. I would likely have done something stupid and ended up getting arrested by now.Best wishes going forward, Seahawk.Nice to see something positive in this thread
Polish Hammer
made of glass
Doesn't Google Voice allow you to record conversations digitally while they are in process? I wonder if that would be a good/free/helpful thing here.
johnnycakes
Footballguy
Al Czervik
Not wearing pants
Wow, just saw this. I wish I worked in a field where I could help you. Hoping things work out for you and most of all the kids. Keep us updated.
Wow. Before you went to court, you have to document every time the kids said they got beaten, also took them to Doctor every time and document their injuries, and then call child services and report all this stuff. Time for that is way past tho. Sorry and good luck, man. Those kids deserve better.
how does one do this if the kids live 2000 miles away?
Obviously, he can't literally take them by himself, every time it happens. But its possible for the kids to see a school nurse or find a social worker, someone who can stand witness.Or it could be that the Oregon social system just sucks. If that's it and no other options are viable, the kids are effed.
seahawk 17
Footballguy
For those of you following this train wreck here is an update....
Lawyer and I decided to go for immediate danger custody again, vs restraining order. Went to court and had the child welfare worker show up, the counselor, my children, and my entire family all willing to testify. Child welfare worker did a nice job and explained that there were incidents of impulsive behaviors, heavy drinking, dysfunction and red flags. Unfortunately per "policy" the children were not in immediate danger since they are currently in Oregon.
Judge says that under the statute the children are currently safe and can't award me custody at this time, based on how the law is written. Stated that he would not speak to the children because it would traumatize them further...and advised us to submit custody modification papers and he would try hear the case before they leave on the 29th.
I spoke to the child welfare worker after court who felt remorseful, but stated that there was nothing he could do per policy. He is in touch with the child welfare worker in Indiana, and states that they are going to ask for mental health exams, and drug/alcohol assessments.
I spoke with the child welfare worker in Indiana and he states he showed up at the house interviewed my ex, and everything was great, stated that she told him that my son has been hitting her and she was the abused one
. Would not confirm what he and the Oregon worker talked about.
Friday was the first day that I have
in years. I am meeting with my attorney tomorrow to figure out the next move.
Lawyer and I decided to go for immediate danger custody again, vs restraining order. Went to court and had the child welfare worker show up, the counselor, my children, and my entire family all willing to testify. Child welfare worker did a nice job and explained that there were incidents of impulsive behaviors, heavy drinking, dysfunction and red flags. Unfortunately per "policy" the children were not in immediate danger since they are currently in Oregon.
Judge says that under the statute the children are currently safe and can't award me custody at this time, based on how the law is written. Stated that he would not speak to the children because it would traumatize them further...and advised us to submit custody modification papers and he would try hear the case before they leave on the 29th.
I spoke to the child welfare worker after court who felt remorseful, but stated that there was nothing he could do per policy. He is in touch with the child welfare worker in Indiana, and states that they are going to ask for mental health exams, and drug/alcohol assessments.
I spoke with the child welfare worker in Indiana and he states he showed up at the house interviewed my ex, and everything was great, stated that she told him that my son has been hitting her and she was the abused one
. Would not confirm what he and the Oregon worker talked about.Friday was the first day that I have
in years. I am meeting with my attorney tomorrow to figure out the next move.
Harry Manback
Footballguy
No, its the old financial adviser.
SlaX
Footballguy
I wouldn't worry about this. It would have been in her better interest to keep with "everything is great, nothing is wrong" than saying that her son is hitting her. Sounds like she's coming up with excuses for the abuse to me.I spoke with the child welfare worker in Indiana and he states he showed up at the house interviewed my ex, and everything was great, stated that she told him that my son has been hitting her and she was the abused one. Would not confirm what he and the Oregon worker talked about.
Addai's Adidas
Footballguy
I agree, what ever denial she may claim, that raises red flags all over.SlaX said:I wouldn't worry about this. It would have been in her better interest to keep with "everything is great, nothing is wrong" than saying that her son is hitting her. Sounds like she's coming up with excuses for the abuse to me.seahawk 17 said:I spoke with the child welfare worker in Indiana and he states he showed up at the house interviewed my ex, and everything was great, stated that she told him that my son has been hitting her and she was the abused one. Would not confirm what he and the Oregon worker talked about.
Doug B
Footballguy
I agree, what ever denial she may claim, that raises red flags all over.SlaX said:I wouldn't worry about this. It would have been in her better interest to keep with "everything is great, nothing is wrong" than saying that her son is hitting her. Sounds like she's coming up with excuses for the abuse to me.seahawk 17 said:I spoke with the child welfare worker in Indiana and he states he showed up at the house interviewed my ex, and everything was great, stated that she told him that my son has been hitting her and she was the abused one. Would not confirm what he and the Oregon worker talked about.
Experienced CPS folks can see right through that kind of stuff. Any reports of violence will raise the natural question "Why? What is amiss here?" Your ex basically told the case worker "We are an extremely dysfunctional household ... please drop in unannounced often and check up on us."
General Malaise
Footballguy
Hang in there, Seahawks. I'm rooting for you.
Angry Beavers
Footballguy
seahawk 17
Footballguy
Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)
Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.
Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.
At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.
Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.
Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.
At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
I'm sorry to hear about this Seahawk. I wish I could offer some good advice. Have you looked into moving to their area? Is there another counselor you can talk to? Can you file a report with the court to subpoena the letter your ex sent to the counselor as well as her records of the meetings you've had so far?
Detroit Fan 365
Footballguy
Contact Nancy Grace.Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.
desert rose
Footballguy
Wasn't your wife bi-polar or something like that? I can't imagine why you weren't awarded full custody.
ScottyFargo
Footballguy
I can't believe she would try to block a kid from getting help. Selfishness and self-preservation above all, I guess. Good luck.
Socrates11
Footballguy
Why would a counselor refuse to see them?
because their whore mother threatened to sue if the counselor did and the guy wussed out.
gianmarco
Footballguy
I don't get this. After all that has happened, you haven't really seen your kids in the last year, worried about abuse, and you decided to send them back home early? Sorry but something just doesn't make sense at all. In fact, that decision could make your allegations look terrible. "Your Honor, if he really thought they were in so much danger, why can't he even keep them for his full allotted time? "
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
He doesn't have a [female reproductive parts].
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johnnycakes
Footballguy
Contact Nancy Grace.Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.
she believes all males should be castrated at birth.
Chewbanks
Footballguy
After all, she was.Contact Nancy Grace.Today was to be the children's last counseling appointment, and the counselor refused to see them. She had a final letter from my ex's lawyer and the counselor said she was out. ( Even though I have given her a copy of our custody agreement, that shows I can take my children to counseling.)
Based on this I refuse to send them back. We agreed in court two weeks ago that they could finish counseling to make a "safety plan." When my 10 year old daughter says..."Mom knows what she has done is wrong, that's why she is doing this." I can't send them back... I would rather face jail time.
Per my custody agreement I don't have to send them back until August 11th. I was sending them back early for a family trip. I will keep them until the last possible day. The counselor has ordered a child abuse assesment, they will call me with in the next few days to set that up.
At this point I am thinking of calling the media. The system is a ####### joke, and two states are failing my children, and in the end I'm the one who will end up being the bad guy.
Addai's Adidas
Footballguy
I think the OP is lying to us about something, or failing to tell the whole truth anyway.
toshiba
Footballguy
There does appear to be a part missing. Plus get a job where your kids are.
Something I have thought all along myself.I pray for the kids and hope everything works out for the best, but something just doesn't seem right here.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Unless you can prove mom is abusing your children in court at time of divorce or she doesn't want them it's virtually impossible for a husband to get full custody. The laws are not equal when it comes to that.
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
I don't know, I read that as when they scheduled the kids' trip to his place the OP had agreed to let them go home early for the family vacation, which was before he had all this new info about the abuse. Now that the info is out he's changed that plan...Dude's wrestling with how to keep his kids safe and not end up in jail for custodial interference or kidnapping or whatever the charge would be. Compound that with various CPS jurisdictions passing the buck and not wanting to deal with things themselves. Its a pretty ####ty situation he's in...
Dragons
Delusions of Grandeur
To be fair, the above critique isn't very good. He has stated that he thought there was mild abuse, but thought he solved the problem. The plans to send his kids back early were most likely made BEFORE he found out the abuse is still going on and worse than he thought.
No doubt about all of that, I am more looking at the why he wouldn't move closer to his kids or fight harder before all of this happened if it happened a year ago as well. I went through a divorce and we had a 8 year old son at the time and my ex moved 600 miles away from me. I had custody of my son during the summer and christmas holidays, spring breaks etc.....My ex got remarried and I know if my son had been abused my either of them I could of either forced her to move back closer to me or I would of moved there whatever it took. I had to sign paperwork to let her move that far away and it included stipulations for her to move back if certain things happened. Just sayin something just doesn't quite sound right, but I do hope and pray for the best for the children and everyone involved.ETA: Nevermind only talking to the son 2 times in the year after the abuse was first told to him. There is now way I would take the Mothers word that everything has been taken care of, or take the word of the 10 year that he was ALWAYS out or busy when the calls were made. Thats just me but again something doesn't seem right.
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fightingduck
Footballguy
I think all of you "critics" missed this from the OP:"Kids just got here recently for the summer visit. (I had no idea yet about the above) "He told the story in order that it happened, not the order that he found out about it. The OP has said nothng that would indicate he knew there was a problem before he got the kids this summer. Since that time, per the story, he has not let them see thier mom and has done everything he can think of to keep them from going back. He is considering keeping them, moving closer, and everything else; however he is trying to work within the system.I don't see anything that would make me question the face value of the story. The charactors are government workers, teachers, conselers, and low-rent attorneys. Not the most motivated group of people to help a guy out. Unless the kid went to the hospital, he's facing an uphill battle. Good luck Seahawk.
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TommyGilmore
Footballguy
How are you going to help your cause by violating the custody agreement and facing jail time??
toshiba
Footballguy
My issue is that he goes so long without seeing his kids, why won't he move closer to them?
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