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Found out my son is being abused. Update #696 (1 Viewer)

'seahawk 17 said:
School officials protect their own.Mr.-------- ,I have been advised personally and professionally not to get involved in your situation. I have enjoyed working with your children (I had your daughter last year) as they are both pleasant and kind and hope for the best for them. Thank you for your understanding. Respectfully, __________This Sandusky stuff does not surprise me.
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Keep this in a safe place. When your children finally come forward and back up your abuse accusations, this will be the first person you bankrupt with your lawsuit since she is a mandatory reporter and neglected her legal duty.
 
'GroveDiesel said:
'seahawk 17 said:
School officials protect their own.Mr.-------- ,I have been advised personally and professionally not to get involved in your situation. I have enjoyed working with your children (I had your daughter last year) as they are both pleasant and kind and hope for the best for them. Thank you for your understanding. Respectfully, __________This Sandusky stuff does not surprise me.
Click to expand...
Keep this in a safe place. When your children finally come forward and back up your abuse accusations, this will be the first person you bankrupt with your lawsuit since she is a mandatory reporter and neglected her legal duty.
Click to expand...
Between the Sandusky thread and this. :sadbanana:
 
'Ned said:
'GroveDiesel said:
'seahawk 17 said:
School officials protect their own.Mr.-------- ,I have been advised personally and professionally not to get involved in your situation. I have enjoyed working with your children (I had your daughter last year) as they are both pleasant and kind and hope for the best for them. Thank you for your understanding. Respectfully, __________This Sandusky stuff does not surprise me.
Click to expand...
Keep this in a safe place. When your children finally come forward and back up your abuse accusations, this will be the first person you bankrupt with your lawsuit since she is a mandatory reporter and neglected her legal duty.
Click to expand...
Between the Sandusky thread and this. :sadbanana:
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:goodposting:
 
'cstu said:
I talked to him twice in the last year and it was only for a few minutes each time.
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So you find out your son is being abused and you only talk to him twice in the next year?
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Sounds like she is keeping them from talking to their dad and he already said he doesn't have much money and live in another state. However, I see your point. Is it possible that the mother isn't lying about this and the kids are making this up? I mean kids will be kids. They may be thinking that it will be better living with dad and so they make this up not thinking about the ramifications. Not that you shouldn't take these allegations seriously because of course you do.ETA: I didn't read passed this so take what I said with that in mind.
 
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Seahawk17 last posted to this thread November 9, 2011. But he was last active in the FFA January 28, 2012.. Without a request from him, I wouldn't close the door on this thread just yet -- although I doubt he posts anything anytime soon. The way he's described things, he's years from any real change in status -- might have to wait until his oldest is 18 and seeks out his father on his own.
 
This is completely terrible and could easily happen to anyone. As a father of a soon-to-be 6 year old, I can only imagine. :no:

Personally, I would never allow my son to live further than an hour's drive from me. My (pending paperwork, ex)wife and I are separated and have been for over a year. We've decided not to involve the court system in our affairs and things have worked out well. I realize that not everyone has reasonable ex-spouses, however.

Best of luck to Seahawk17, hope things work out someday.

 
'Doug B said:
Seahawk17 last posted to this thread November 9, 2011. But he was last active in the FFA January 28, 2012.. Without a request from him, I wouldn't close the door on this thread just yet -- although I doubt he posts anything anytime soon. The way he's described things, he's years from any real change in status -- might have to wait until his oldest is 18 and seeks out his father on his own.
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He was active TODAY!
'seahawk 17 said:
Sorry to hear your going througn tougn times. Nobody knows better than me what you are going through with your son. My advise, realize nothing will get resolved quickly and your ex will have zero consequences. Be concious of your thoughts and feelings because a long custody battle and zero contact with your son will consume you if u let it. PM me if u ever need to get stuff off your chest.
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I'm not going to go back and read what I posted. This situation gets me so fired up and it just eats at me. I will be happy to update everybody even though it's hard. The FFA deserve that. They say everything happens for a reason, so maybe somebody reads this and it helps somebody somehow.

Yes, what I am about to tell you is a true story....even though I don't believe it myself.

Not sure when the last time I posted in here, pretty sure it was when the Sandusky stuff came to light. I remember school officials knowing stuff, and doing nothing. I received an email from my daughter's teacher around the same time who said she was advised not to get involved. I almost lost my mind, and it was the first time I really debated doing something regretful. (More than I regret not sending my kids back, because that apparently was the dumbest thing I have ever done, and cost me everything.)

Anyway, I am sure I posted a hundred times that I can call, email, FB...and get no response. So I purchased tickets to go see the children in Dec 2012 email my ex my itinerary, address where I will be staying and contact numbers. I advise her to confirm she knows I am on the way because it's a supervised visit. I ask her who is supervising the visit, and if she has nobody I will pay CPS to supervise the visit. Per court order, I have to give her 20 day notice which I did. I follow up with her every few days and no response.

My arrival is Dec 26th. I call her the 25th and email that I need to hear from her by such and such time because at the time the airport was a 3hr drive from my house. No response. I call her in the morning and my number is blocked. I borrow a cell phone and call step dad. He advises that the children are gone on Christmas Break and will not be available for a visit. I call the Sherriff's in their county and explain the situation that I am in. They advised me that without a court order they are not getting involved. I decided that this was another dead end and didn't go.

I finally found an attorney to help me out. She stated that she would tell me what to do, I would do all of the leg work and we could keep costs down that way. She advised me to file a Parenting Time Enforcement, get school records, police records and 911 calls on the address, get in touch with the counselor and get a background done on step-dad. When that was completed she would help me with custody. I moved to PDX to start a new job, and started completing my tasks.

Remember this is some small town and apparently everybody protects their own. Counselor says the children never came back to see her and has nothing new to tell me.(Kids are court ordered to go to counseling.) School sends me their school records but advises they will not comment on anything. Police records department told me that they are not sending anything related to the address in question, won't advise me how many times I have done welfare checks, and won't give me a copy of the abuse report. 911 people will not advise me how many times police have been called to address or copies of 911 calls without a subpoena. I am able to get court records and as predicted guy is a dirt bag.

Feast on this while I continue to type.

 
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Guy has multiple drunk driving arrests, hunting violations, and other dumb stuff. He has been in and out of county jail and has been on probation for several years. He has a previous wife who left him for being abusive to her and her son. Biggest red flag was his arrest for breaking into his wife's house. She awoke in middle of the night with a loaded gun to her head. He threatened to kill her and then him self. Somehow she was able to call the police. He got 30 days in jail and three years probation.

Now I don't know if I posted that I have talked to his ex. She states that he is a drunk, very mean and has already threatened to kill my ex spouse and himself if she ever leaves him. Apparently he is cheating on her and she found out. She tried to leave one night and he got out a loaded weapon. She added that he is very, very mean to my son and it's sad. But, she fears for her life and won't get involved.

My child support case follows me to the Portland area. My Parenting Enforcement is denied because my child support case moved and they advise me to file Parenting Enforcement in my new county. Attorney that was going to help me says she can't anymore because the county she is in refuses to hear the case. I basically have all the info I need and this is a slam dunk case. I am again at square one and look for another attorney. I continue to call my children and my number is blocked. I call from other numbers and get no response.

I emailed dozens attorneys to see if they would take my case pro bono, and I went through a modest means program also. I am not trying to rack up attorney fees, because I already owe her attorneys over 26,000 and I am making payments to my original attorney still. Nobody will take the case for free. Fine, I will hire an attorney. I see two different attorney's and they both tell me the same thing. 1. If they were my attorney at the time of my summer visitation, they would of advised me not to send the children back. 2. The police and 911 needs to handle my request because it's a matter of public record. 3. File Parenting Time Enforcement, it's nothing that I can't handle on my own, and I can't afford to hire them.

I file Parenting Enforcement Time in my new county at this point in time it's Jan 2013. Sherriff's Dept calls me and advises me ex has been served, it's my son's birthday and I can't believe how bad the timing could be. It took the cops two weeks to track her down, but I know she will spin this to my children as me being crazy and starting trouble. I figure since my Parenting Time Enforcement complained about my number being blocked, there is a small chance it's unblocked. I call and my ex finally answers.

Me: Hey, thanks for unblocking my number finally, let me talk to the children please.

Her: Sure no problem, you can talk to them whenever you want.

Me: Save it... I'm not recording this call.

Her: Oh, in that case you can go #### yourself.

She covers the phone up and says something to the kids. My son gets on the phone and says that he is not allowed to talk, but he loves and misses me. He hands the phone to my daughter who says that everything has been great, they love living there and that she loves and misses me. The line goes dead. I call back no answer.

I fell to the ground and cried like I have never cried before. It was a short conversation but it felt good to hear their voice and to hear that they love and miss me, even though I am sure they paid for saying it. Keep in mind I have not talked to my children since Aug 2010. My son has hit puberty...his voice was so deep. I realize how much of their lives I have missed.

I will update more in a bit.

 
Jesus, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably end up in jail. No way I could ever go 3 years without my boys. I'd rather have them visit me in jail then knowing they are being abused by some ####### that based on his record could potentially kill them. I would tell my Dad to make sure he got custody, although if I told him, he would probably do it himself.

Wish you all the best and hope someone helps you. I don't know if there is anyway to talk some sense into the police, but I would be talking to everyone and making damn sure that they know this guy has put a gun to his ex-wife's head and that if anything happens to the kids I will make damn sure everyone in the US knows what they didn't do to protect them.

 
If we can get some verification of seahawk17 independently, I'd happily donate to a legal fund to lay the smack down on the ex and her boyfriend.

 
This is a brutal read. I can't imagine going that long without seeing my kids while the system does everything it can to keep it that way.

 
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened. You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.

 
timschochet said:
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.
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Dude -- take your babble somewhere else other than this thread. This one does not need this crap in it.

 
timschochet said:
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened. You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.
Click to expand...
Give it a rest for once.
 
So...the update ends as it begins. I was in court in February. The whole thing took maybe 20 minutes.

My position: I email, call, social network and get no response. She refuses my visits and has my number blocked. All I want is visits enforced, my number unblocked and actually allowed to speak with them. I requested that the court ordered counseling be enforced also. I bring up her current husbands arrest record and point out she testified in court that he has never been arrested. Phone records are produced, and I play the recording I get when I call stating my number is blocked. In addition, nobody in my family has talked to the children.

Her position: The children are traumatized from their summer experience with me, they are afraid I will kill their mom, and do not want any contact with me. She can't "make" teenage kids call me, or write me back. She would not let the children go to their visit because the address I gave her where I was staying was in MI. I have already "kidnapped" them before, was staying out of state from my visit, and would have help if I wanted to hide them again. (My buddy lives in MI...45 mins from my ex) She shows records that I call, but for time spoken it shows zero. She states that this is because I refuse to leave a message, not because my number is blocked. She states that she can't afford to take the children to counseling.

My rebuttal: Phone calls say zero talk time because I cant get through to anyone. I don't have over night visits so if I want to stay the night in MI then that's my choice. I have to pay for the children's counseling, there is no out of pocket expense for her. If they are so traumatized they need counseling. I add that she does not want the children in counseling because they are mandatory reporters.

Judgment: The judge sliced and diced me. He stated that he had read the previous paperwork from the judge and that I was a horrible person. He said the parenting plan I am on is the most restrictive he has ever seen, and that he was going to guess that the previous judge had good reason to put me on it. None of the husband stuff had anything to do with parenting time enforcement. There was no way to determine if the block call recording was legit or not. He added that he didn't believe a thing that I had to say...and I had zero credibility in his court room. He added that he felt like I was using the judicial system to harass my ex. He told me if the children wanted a relationship with me they would look me up after graduation. He advised that I move on with my life, and to give this up.

No changes in visitation and awarded her another 5,000 in attorney fees.

My number is blocked again. I email but hear nothing. Save your money boys...I can't win.

There is the update.

 
timschochet said:
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.
Click to expand...
Go Away

 
seahawk 17 said:
He told me if the children wanted a relationship with me they would look me up after graduation. He advised that I move on with my life, and to give this up.
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That is the most coldblooded and probably unprofessional thing I think a judge could say.

 
timschochet said:
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.
Click to expand...
you have the worst timing of anyone on these boards. shame on you for trying to turn this thread into a political debate.

 
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Aaron Rudnicki said:
timschochet said:
General Malaise said:
The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?
Click to expand...
And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.
Click to expand...
you have the worst timing of anyone on these boards. shame on you for trying to turn this thread into a political debate.
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I was making an observation. It was not meant to be especially controversial and I didn't want to make this about me. Let's not do that. Obviously I made some people upset and I apologize. Seahawk's situation is terrible; let's focus on that.
 
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