Has anyone spoke to their kids varsity sports coach? How did it go? (1 Viewer)

[Jayrod]

I'll throw in some anecdotes.

1. My senior year basketball season, I was the 2nd best player on the team and never missed any time. We were really good and had state Final 4 aspirations (we lost in round of 16). Mid-season, our 4th year, very young and excitable coach is riding us hard and I start to get sick of the grind and coach riding my butt all of the time because so much fell on my shoulders while our #1 guy (all-state PG) was hurt. I come home after a win and I'm acting depressed and it got to my mom. Unbeknownst to me until years later, my mom met with the HC and had a talk. My HC took it to heart, had a one on one with me before practice one day and I basically told him I was getting to the point that I didn't like playing anymore. He let up and it made the rest of the season more enjoyable. Long story short, I would have told my mom not to do it, but her conversation with the coach helped.

2. My son is a Junior in HS this season. Last year he was cut from basketball and was a backup JV WR in football. This season he is the best JV WR and will likely make and play JV basketball. The teams are exceptional, rarely loose a game and have championship aspirations in both sports pretty much every year. This is class 6 level sports in Missouri...the biggest class. There are a ton of college athletes on both teams. I've never and will never talk to either coach about my son's playing time because I trust them and know what they are doing. I see the talent and know my son's playing time is appropriate despite it not being what he or I would like.

3. My daughter plays club & middle school volleyball (8th grade this year). She played on a club team 2 years ago and the coach seemed to not like her. Disciplined her quicker/harsher than the other players and didn't let her serve all season. She was better than the PT she got and it frustrated my wife and I, but we stayed silent. The next year, that same coach didn't bring her back and we had to find/join another club team at the last minute and ended up with a terrible coach who just didn't know the game and the team was really bad with little talent. Finally, my daughter has moved from setter to hitter (a better fit for her) and is thriving on her school volleyball team and will be playing for a good coach on a good club. I'm kicking myself because I think by never saying anything, we did our daughter a disservice on her club seasons and should have taken more control over her situation.

My point of all of this is basically, it depends. Sometimes saying something is OK and the right move, even if it isn't what the coach wants or is popular. Sometimes it is best to stay quiet and let your kid handle it or grow through it. Nearly every situation is unique and a parents involvement can be warranted at times.

 

[JAA]

Just came across this article today, what a great read

Carli Lloyd gives harsh appraisal of 'dysfunctional' USWNT setup: I would 'raise hell' over 2023 elimination

On the latest episode of Kickin' It on CBS Sports Golazo Network, Lloyd doubles down on the 2023 World Cup criticism

www.cbssports.com

I felt the most important part of this article on youth sports was the commentary on how US Soccer is focused on developing superstars. So much pressure on individuals. From all the reading I’ve done about youth development in other countries, the team play is the absolute focus.

 

[gianmarco]

Just came across this article today, what a great read

Carli Lloyd gives harsh appraisal of 'dysfunctional' USWNT setup: I would 'raise hell' over 2023 elimination

On the latest episode of Kickin' It on CBS Sports Golazo Network, Lloyd doubles down on the 2023 World Cup criticism

www.cbssports.com

I felt the most important part of this article on youth sports was the commentary on how US Soccer is focused on developing superstars. So much pressure on individuals. From all the reading I’ve done about youth development in other countries, the team play is the absolute focus.

I would take that article with a HUGE grain of salt. That's an opinion piece by Lloyd and I would be careful to accept her thoughts that you pointed out as fully accurate.

In fact, if anything, soccer development here has become much more like other countries with a more consistent, unified, team approach than how it used to be. But that's a discussion for another thread.

 

[Sammy3469]

While I agree with having your kid speak up for himself and ask for the 1:1, I’d also be cognizant if it’s going to be productive at all that he has to be prepared and that it shouldn’t center just on Messi. It should center on how can improve (that’s when he brings up being berated by Messi isn’t helpful). Good coaches will provide that feedback in a constructive manner, bad ones (or those just looking pad the resume/force you to spend some money) won’t. I know as kids get older coaches want these sessions 1:1 with the player, but I also think given the situation it wouldn’t be a bad idea to silently sit in.

This is tangential….my son is 12, is on a high level hockey team, but is in the lower half talent wise (he’s also the smallest kids). The quality and perspective of coaching across coaches and organizations is really striking. Frankly most are either pay to play (ie pay the coach for private sessions) or play to win (or both). There are very few looking to raise all boats and those that are have the bad W-L results to show for it. That’s more or less the reality of youth sports (including HS) these days.

Second tangent that was touched on above, but really put into focus this weekend serving as penalty box attendant and seeing the coaching up close, nothing pisses a coach off more than working on something repeatedly in practice and then the kid not executing that strategy in the game. It could be as simple as continually letting the offensive guy get goalside, but if it’s a point of emphasis in practice, it will piss everyone off.

Third tangent…after seeing the best kids on our hockey team’s parents in action, I can 100% guarantee they are in the HS coaches ear.

 

[JAA]

Just came across this article today, what a great read

Carli Lloyd gives harsh appraisal of 'dysfunctional' USWNT setup: I would 'raise hell' over 2023 elimination

On the latest episode of Kickin' It on CBS Sports Golazo Network, Lloyd doubles down on the 2023 World Cup criticism

www.cbssports.com

I felt the most important part of this article on youth sports was the commentary on how US Soccer is focused on developing superstars. So much pressure on individuals. From all the reading I’ve done about youth development in other countries, the team play is the absolute focus.

I would take that article with a HUGE grain of salt. That's an opinion piece by Lloyd and I would be careful to accept her thoughts that you pointed out as fully accurate.

In fact, if anything, soccer development here has become much more like other countries with a more consistent, unified, team approach than how it used to be. But that's a discussion for another thread.

Another thread. My experiences through the ECNL tiers agree with Lloyd

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

I think the 'ol "Shut the "F*** Up" to Messi from your son is in order here.

And doing it from about 24" in front of him seems like it would be in order too.

 

[cheese]

If this was HSFB, they would’ve already had a few fist fights and gotten over them by now. I think your son should understand avoiding confrontation is fine if he can do it without feeling like a victim. Standing up for himself by any means needed is also fine imo. Make sure he knows he has options (that might have consequences) and you have his back.