Kids travel sports - unreasonable request? (1 Viewer)

[Golden Gopher]

Thought about starting a new topic for this (and maybe there's a better place for it), but we found out this week that my 14YO daughter has a complete tear of her ACL. She hurt it jumping/landing in volleyball practice a couple of weeks ago. Nothing gruesome in terms of how she landed, other than it was really painful and she couldn't put any weight on it initially. Her coach told her she would "probably be fine" and to walk it off, essentially. Well, she couldn't. Took her home and when she still couldn't put any weight on it, her mom got her into urgent care the next day. They did an X-ray and tests but couldn't do an MRI because it had swelled up a decent amount, so the plan was to come back when the swelling went down and/or see if it got worse or better.

She was on crutches for about the next week, then started to feel better. By the two week mark, she was walking around saying that it was 70-80% better. Pain had gone from an 8/10 to about a 2/10. We were hopeful that it was just a sprain at that point. But, just to be safe, when she went back to the doctor at the 2-week point, they did a "precautionary" MRI. Well, the results from that came back not good. Total tear of the ACL and bone contusions.

Really bummed for her, as she is going into HS this fall. It's really hard for me because she hasn't really wrapped her head around the extent of it yet. I feel torn between wanting to educate her on what it all means, but also wanting to protect her from being devastated. Her first question was whether her season (travel season which ends in May essentially) is over. I wanted (but didn't want at the same time) to tell her that that's the least of her worries. She's going to miss pre-high school tryouts in June/July, not to mention likely most or all of her freshman season. Ugh.

She then started asking about next year, and coming to the realization that she is going to miss time next year, be behind the other girls, etc. That's when she started to get emotional, asking if she could "go to one more tournament" with her teammates. It took everything in me to not start bawling with her at that point. She asked if she could/should tell her friends/teammates. Her mom's immediate response was that she shouldn't tell anyone until she knows the details. I basically told her that she should do whatever helps/makes her feel better. If that means talking about it with friends, so be it. If she doesn't want to, on the other hand, she doesn't have to.

We're supposed to speak to the orthopedic surgeon next week to discuss the plan for surgery and beyond. Not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just sharing/venting. It sucks and I would trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. If anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or thoughts, feel free to share.

 

[Drunken knight]

@Golden Gopher
good luck with her.

around 93 i had a partial acl, mcl, meniscus. tried to rehab... reinjured, tried again... reinjured and after that decided on acl replacement sometime around 95-96.

for me, back then.. i was back to playing most sports at 70% at 9 months. maxed my rehab around 15 months.

so, not sure what the current timeline is with current advances, but the ortho should give a decent picture.

how good is she? wondering if she could get recommendations from her coaches from all clubs and have a meeting with the HS coach to express her interest and what she is going through... to maybe have consideration when ready?

 

[Max Power]

Thought about starting a new topic for this (and maybe there's a better place for it), but we found out this week that my 14YO daughter has a complete tear of her ACL. She hurt it jumping/landing in volleyball practice a couple of weeks ago. Nothing gruesome in terms of how she landed, other than it was really painful and she couldn't put any weight on it initially. Her coach told her she would "probably be fine" and to walk it off, essentially. Well, she couldn't. Took her home and when she still couldn't put any weight on it, her mom got her into urgent care the next day. They did an X-ray and tests but couldn't do an MRI because it had swelled up a decent amount, so the plan was to come back when the swelling went down and/or see if it got worse or better.

She was on crutches for about the next week, then started to feel better. By the two week mark, she was walking around saying that it was 70-80% better. Pain had gone from an 8/10 to about a 2/10. We were hopeful that it was just a sprain at that point. But, just to be safe, when she went back to the doctor at the 2-week point, they did a "precautionary" MRI. Well, the results from that came back not good. Total tear of the ACL and bone contusions.

Really bummed for her, as she is going into HS this fall. It's really hard for me because she hasn't really wrapped her head around the extent of it yet. I feel torn between wanting to educate her on what it all means, but also wanting to protect her from being devastated. Her first question was whether her season (travel season which ends in May essentially) is over. I wanted (but didn't want at the same time) to tell her that that's the least of her worries. She's going to miss pre-high school tryouts in June/July, not to mention likely most or all of her freshman season. Ugh.

She then started asking about next year, and coming to the realization that she is going to miss time next year, be behind the other girls, etc. That's when she started to get emotional, asking if she could "go to one more tournament" with her teammates. It took everything in me to not start bawling with her at that point. She asked if she could/should tell her friends/teammates. Her mom's immediate response was that she shouldn't tell anyone until she knows the details. I basically told her that she should do whatever helps/makes her feel better. If that means talking about it with friends, so be it. If she doesn't want to, on the other hand, she doesn't have to.

We're supposed to speak to the orthopedic surgeon next week to discuss the plan for surgery and beyond. Not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just sharing/venting. It sucks and I would trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. If anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or thoughts, feel free to share.

As a parent that is the worst feeling. I missed the second half of my Junior year football with an MCL tear and it was disappointing to say the least. If there is a bright spot, I'd say sitting due to injury is a good time to watch and learn some of the finer points of the game. Focus on seeing the game through the coaches' eyes and it could pay off down the road. Sorry to hear though...

 

[Golden Gopher]

Thought about starting a new topic for this (and maybe there's a better place for it), but we found out this week that my 14YO daughter has a complete tear of her ACL. She hurt it jumping/landing in volleyball practice a couple of weeks ago. Nothing gruesome in terms of how she landed, other than it was really painful and she couldn't put any weight on it initially. Her coach told her she would "probably be fine" and to walk it off, essentially. Well, she couldn't. Took her home and when she still couldn't put any weight on it, her mom got her into urgent care the next day. They did an X-ray and tests but couldn't do an MRI because it had swelled up a decent amount, so the plan was to come back when the swelling went down and/or see if it got worse or better.

She was on crutches for about the next week, then started to feel better. By the two week mark, she was walking around saying that it was 70-80% better. Pain had gone from an 8/10 to about a 2/10. We were hopeful that it was just a sprain at that point. But, just to be safe, when she went back to the doctor at the 2-week point, they did a "precautionary" MRI. Well, the results from that came back not good. Total tear of the ACL and bone contusions.

Really bummed for her, as she is going into HS this fall. It's really hard for me because she hasn't really wrapped her head around the extent of it yet. I feel torn between wanting to educate her on what it all means, but also wanting to protect her from being devastated. Her first question was whether her season (travel season which ends in May essentially) is over. I wanted (but didn't want at the same time) to tell her that that's the least of her worries. She's going to miss pre-high school tryouts in June/July, not to mention likely most or all of her freshman season. Ugh.

She then started asking about next year, and coming to the realization that she is going to miss time next year, be behind the other girls, etc. That's when she started to get emotional, asking if she could "go to one more tournament" with her teammates. It took everything in me to not start bawling with her at that point. She asked if she could/should tell her friends/teammates. Her mom's immediate response was that she shouldn't tell anyone until she knows the details. I basically told her that she should do whatever helps/makes her feel better. If that means talking about it with friends, so be it. If she doesn't want to, on the other hand, she doesn't have to.

We're supposed to speak to the orthopedic surgeon next week to discuss the plan for surgery and beyond. Not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just sharing/venting. It sucks and I would trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. If anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or thoughts, feel free to share.

As a parent that is the worst feeling. I missed the second half of my Junior year football with an MCL tear and it was disappointing to say the least. If there is a bright spot, I'd say sitting due to injury is a good time to watch and learn some of the finer points of the game. Focus on seeing the game through the coaches' eyes and it could pay off down the road. Sorry to hear though...

That's a great point. Thanks. I also keep reminding myself that there are pros and cons to everything. And, things could always be worse. A friend and former board member from my Little League just found out that his 14YO boy has an aggressive form of leukemia about three weeks ago. He was rushed to Children's Hospital LA the day they found out, and they've been there ever since. So, despite my daughter's news, there are still things in life to be thankful for, certainly.

 

[dino259]

@Golden Gopher
good luck with her.

around 93 i had a partial acl, mcl, meniscus. tried to rehab... reinjured, tried again... reinjured and after that decided on acl replacement sometime around 95-96.

for me, back then.. i was back to playing most sports at 70% at 9 months. maxed my rehab around 15 months.

so, not sure what the current timeline is with current advances, but the ortho should give a decent picture.

how good is she? wondering if she could get recommendations from her coaches from all clubs and have a meeting with the HS coach to express her interest and what she is going through... to maybe have consideration when ready?

One of my son's high school basketball teammates blew out the same ACL the last 2 years in the first game or so of the football season. This is a 6'5" post player that played TE in football and was on varsity basketball his freshman year. He was on the basketball team both of those years. He didn't play or even practice but was around the program so he is familiar with what the game plan is. Even though it might only be freshman year that could be something they do to keep her in the loop.

 

[Golden Gopher]

@Golden Gopher
good luck with her.

around 93 i had a partial acl, mcl, meniscus. tried to rehab... reinjured, tried again... reinjured and after that decided on acl replacement sometime around 95-96.

for me, back then.. i was back to playing most sports at 70% at 9 months. maxed my rehab around 15 months.

so, not sure what the current timeline is with current advances, but the ortho should give a decent picture.

how good is she? wondering if she could get recommendations from her coaches from all clubs and have a meeting with the HS coach to express her interest and what she is going through... to maybe have consideration when ready?

She's pretty good. Not a standout in the sense that she's better than everyone else, but certainly one of the stronger players. Two years ago, she was by far the best server on her middle school team. Like would routinely serve 7-10 points in a row, no problem. Over the past two years, though, things have changed. The competition has gotten stronger, other girls have gotten better at serving, and maybe most importantly, she seemingly stopped growing while the rest kept growing. Went from being tallest on the team to just above average in height. But, still, of the four middle schools in town, she's on the best team out of all of them, and is easily one of the top 3-4 players on that team. Travel is harder to gauge because kids play with other kids from different cities, etc. But, on her club team, which is pretty competitive, she's one of the top 4-5 players. So, I wouldn't say she was a shoe-in to dominate in HS, but she would certainly make the team (and likely play varsity eventually).

That's a good thought, though. She has had the same travel coach for 3 years (who also coincidentally coaches at a local private HS). He also has a daughter in HS. I'm sure he will have some thoughts on how to proceed with this challenge that lies ahead.

 

[msudaisy26]

I'll start by saying that I've had multiple children participate in several different travel sport leagues. We've done Soccer, Baseball, Cheerleading and Gymnastics which all came with commitments and travel requirements that were difficult, but we did our best to make everything work. We've even had to book airBnBs for regional events several states away.

My youngest daughter started school volleyball this year for her first season and she did pretty well for a first-year player. She's naturally athletic and picks up things quickly. Her issue was confidence and not knowing all aspects of the game well enough. We signed up for a local 14U girls travel volleyball club to get more experience. She was 12 at the time of tryouts and made the team as a practice player. That means she can practice with the team and if she shows enough improvement will be moved up to the team for games. We sort of knew what we were signing up for at the time, but didn't ask all the questions because she was happy about it.

It's a month later now and the travel schedule is out. There will be weekend-long tournaments up to 4-5 hours away, starting in two weeks. Come to find out that practice players are required to travel with the team and there is zero chance of them getting into any game while on the practice team. The reality of the situation is setting in for our daughter and she's taken a more pessimistic view on the situation. The tournament in 2 weeks is about 2.5 hours from home and starts at 8am Saturday with the final match being roughly 4pm Sunday. This is a big time and financial commitment to an event where my daughter won't play, so I suggested skipping it.

My wife was talking to other parents about it and the vibe was that practice players who don't travel with the team have reduced chances of getting called up to the team. I got a little heated at that point because I found the situation to be pretty unreasonable. This is 14 year old girls volleyball. We paid the same fees as everyone else, but if our daughter isn't going to play, don't make the whole family give up their weekend. I don't know if I'm getting too worked up over it, but I'm not happy with the situation. Every sacrifice we've made before was to support the kids. I don't feel like this situation is in the same bubble.

Not sure what we are going to do yet. Wife and I thought it was best to sleep on it. I'm typing this out to try to figure out if I'm overreacting or justified to pull her from this. I also wanted to vent about kids travel sports... it's become a racket.

I have dealt with travel volleyball for the last six years with my niece and two years with my daughter.

Find a new club, this shouldn't happen ever. I have never seen a club only have practice players. They will have different levels of teams, but each team will keep 9 or 10 players and all will see playing time during a tournament, even at the highest level.

Right now there is a player on my daughters team that is injured and she isn't required to go to out of town tournaments.

 

[Golden Gopher]

On a somewhat related note, something I'll never forget was watching a college basketball teammate suffer a torn ACL in a game my freshman year. I was on the bench sitting next to a kid who had gone through an ACL tear the year before (he was still in the latter stages of his rehab, actually). The guy who suffered the injury was helped off the court while the kid sitting next to me was bawling his eyes out. We were all concerned about our teammate and friend, obviously. But, there was clearly another level of concern (and empathy) coming from this kid who knew that situation all too well. Not only what it was like to sustain such an injury, but also what the road ahead was likely going to be, in terms of recovery, etc. It was a very impactful moment.

 

[acarey50]

Thought about starting a new topic for this (and maybe there's a better place for it), but we found out this week that my 14YO daughter has a complete tear of her ACL. She hurt it jumping/landing in volleyball practice a couple of weeks ago. Nothing gruesome in terms of how she landed, other than it was really painful and she couldn't put any weight on it initially. Her coach told her she would "probably be fine" and to walk it off, essentially. Well, she couldn't. Took her home and when she still couldn't put any weight on it, her mom got her into urgent care the next day. They did an X-ray and tests but couldn't do an MRI because it had swelled up a decent amount, so the plan was to come back when the swelling went down and/or see if it got worse or better.

She was on crutches for about the next week, then started to feel better. By the two week mark, she was walking around saying that it was 70-80% better. Pain had gone from an 8/10 to about a 2/10. We were hopeful that it was just a sprain at that point. But, just to be safe, when she went back to the doctor at the 2-week point, they did a "precautionary" MRI. Well, the results from that came back not good. Total tear of the ACL and bone contusions.

Really bummed for her, as she is going into HS this fall. It's really hard for me because she hasn't really wrapped her head around the extent of it yet. I feel torn between wanting to educate her on what it all means, but also wanting to protect her from being devastated. Her first question was whether her season (travel season which ends in May essentially) is over. I wanted (but didn't want at the same time) to tell her that that's the least of her worries. She's going to miss pre-high school tryouts in June/July, not to mention likely most or all of her freshman season. Ugh.

She then started asking about next year, and coming to the realization that she is going to miss time next year, be behind the other girls, etc. That's when she started to get emotional, asking if she could "go to one more tournament" with her teammates. It took everything in me to not start bawling with her at that point. She asked if she could/should tell her friends/teammates. Her mom's immediate response was that she shouldn't tell anyone until she knows the details. I basically told her that she should do whatever helps/makes her feel better. If that means talking about it with friends, so be it. If she doesn't want to, on the other hand, she doesn't have to.

We're supposed to speak to the orthopedic surgeon next week to discuss the plan for surgery and beyond. Not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just sharing/venting. It sucks and I would trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. If anyone who has gone through something similar has any advice or thoughts, feel free to share.

@Golden Gopher my now 14 year old had a complete tear of his ACL and meniscus 15 months ago when he was 12. Please be sure that the orthopedic you work with has plenty of experience working with juvenile patients, as there can be additional complicating factors that need to be taken into account, especially around the growth plates. In our case, the initial diagnosis was dislocated patella and he was passing all of the normal structural tests - MRI was precautionary to check for damage behind the knee cap, so it was pretty shocking to get the results.

He tore it October 7th, had surgery on November 27th and was cleared to fully return to athletic activities the following September. Started with solid court activities (basketball and volleyball) and only just recently did he return to football.

At your consult, see about getting in for PT ahead of the surgery. It will help with the recovery. And get in to PT as soon as possible after the surgery to really start on getting range of motion back and building back strength. Get one of the ice machines that pumps the cold water through, and there is also a machine that you can put the leg in that just bends it for her, slowly increasing the range of motion. We know several people that rushed this process and their kids either still have limited ROM or worse, we know of one that re-tore her ACL by coming back too fast.

Our son had the "advantage" of only being in 7th grade so no pressure of trying to get back to high school sports, so we were able to take the maximum time possible to recover while still being fairly aggressive. We followed all the directions and nearly 18 months out he has full range of motion and strength back. He has the custom knee brace that he will need to wear for sports - at least a year for basketball, etc., he will need one until he is done growing for full contact sports like football, etc., and as a precaution he wears a brace with the hinge and velcro straps for things like PE, weightlifting, etc.

Regarding telling teammates/friends, etc., that is a personal decision. My son got injured in football, and his team and coaches were beyond supportive - sending care packages, coming over to play video games or watch movies/shows, etc. He still went to the remainder of their games and most practices, with the coaches letting him and another injured player be the team captains for their playoff game. I don't know the vibe with your daughter's team, but this football team definitely had a family feel to it. In fact, after the game he got injured in, the coaches and 5 players all came to the ER to check on him and waited there until almost 1:00 AM to make sure he was ok.

We were also lucky that his school was also very accommodating. As there was only 3 or 4 weeks from the surgery date to the winter break, the school arranged for him to be able to do all of his school work from home, as they were concerned of kids not being careful with him on crutches, etc. fresh after surgery, and especially as they were getting amped up for winter break. We'd pick up/drop off work for him each week, and once a week we'd take him to the library so he could take tests. The great thing is this allowed him to spend more time right after surgery rehabbing the knee by having it in the machine that moved it for him, etc. throughout the day. When he went back to school after the winter break, he would spend his PE period in the library and be able to treat it like study hall.

Feel free to PM if you have any specific questions, or if your wife would like to talk to my wife to get a "mother's" perspective, I'm sure she'd be happy to chat with her.

 

[ChiefD]

Tore my ACL in 1997. My doctor told me I'd be back to playing soccer in 9 months with no brace.

Sure enough I was. Took a few months after that to get through the mental hurdles, but that was normal.

The advice I would give is: her choice on whether to tell her friends. But for her recovery, being around the team may be the most helpful. If she has surgery now and really attacks the rehab, by the end of the year she will be close.

And her PT group can also provide advice on when she can do "volleyball" type stuff. Maybe it's just standing still and working on setting. Maybe it's standing still and bumping balls off a wall. Or she does it at home with you. (once she is cleared of those movements of course).

That leg will be stronger when she is done with surgery and therapy than it ever was. It sucks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But if this were my daughter, by all means I would let her go to the games, be around her teammates, travel with them if she is up to it.

It's those group times that are just as valuable, and maybe more so, than the on-court stuff.

 

[acarey50]

@Golden Gopher
good luck with her.

around 93 i had a partial acl, mcl, meniscus. tried to rehab... reinjured, tried again... reinjured and after that decided on acl replacement sometime around 95-96.

for me, back then.. i was back to playing most sports at 70% at 9 months. maxed my rehab around 15 months.

so, not sure what the current timeline is with current advances, but the ortho should give a decent picture.

how good is she? wondering if she could get recommendations from her coaches from all clubs and have a meeting with the HS coach to express her interest and what she is going through... to maybe have consideration when ready?

The general recommended timeline has actually gotten a little longer, not shorter, especially for younger athletes. The research found that the re-injury rate was vastly higher when the return was pushed into the 6-9 month range. For most sporting activities, it's closer to a recommendation to take a full 12 months for ACL recovery, but as always, that is something to be consulted and advised by your orthopedic surgeon in consult with your PT.