How to Tell Someone is a Good Person by the Small Things (1 Viewer)

[Judge Smails]

I think this is a good topic and a great question. I've often thought about this myself and have a few things I'd consider for this list of being a good person....the shopping cart thing is definitely one of them!

- On your license, are you an organ donor? If 'yes' I think that is a point in favor of being a good person.
- If you are a dog owner, did you rescue or adopt the dog? If 'yes' I think that's another point in favor of being a good person. And yes, I know some people have to BUY designer dogs for allergies and there are other reasons to spend money to buy a puppy, but the world is full of animals that will be euthanized if we don't step up to give them a home. Those people are the good people, IMO.
- How does a person treat the restaurant server, bartender, staff, etc? Are you treating them all with respect, kindness and possibly with some grace if they are slammed? If I don't know you well and we're out together at a restaurant or bar, I'm judging you on how you interact with the staff there.
- Do you wave when people let you in to merge or change lanes? If you wave, I think you're a nice person who knows how to thank a person for their kindness. I find the non-wavers to be selfish and inconsiderate.


That's a few I'd add. Not sure how this helps your daughter dating, though.

Good on all of these except adoption/rescue dogs. I may - buy haven’t yet. Have had 2 amazing pure bred labs that I bought from reputable, excellent breeders. 28 great years combined with my family. Zero regrets. If that makes me a bad person so be it.

 

[Chadstroma]

I think this is a good topic and a great question. I've often thought about this myself and have a few things I'd consider for this list of being a good person....the shopping cart thing is definitely one of them!

- On your license, are you an organ donor? If 'yes' I think that is a point in favor of being a good person.
- If you are a dog owner, did you rescue or adopt the dog? If 'yes' I think that's another point in favor of being a good person. And yes, I know some people have to BUY designer dogs for allergies and there are other reasons to spend money to buy a puppy, but the world is full of animals that will be euthanized if we don't step up to give them a home. Those people are the good people, IMO.
- How does a person treat the restaurant server, bartender, staff, etc? Are you treating them all with respect, kindness and possibly with some grace if they are slammed? If I don't know you well and we're out together at a restaurant or bar, I'm judging you on how you interact with the staff there.
- Do you wave when people let you in to merge or change lanes? If you wave, I think you're a nice person who knows how to thank a person for their kindness. I find the non-wavers to be selfish and inconsiderate.


That's a few I'd add. Not sure how this helps your daughter dating, though.

Good on all of these except adoption/rescue dogs. I may - buy haven’t yet. Have had 2 amazing pure bred labs that I bought from reputable, excellent breeders. 28 great years combined with my family. Zero regrets. If that makes me a bad person so be it.

I don't think anything said here is a sure fire 100% if they do this or don't do this then you know. I think most (all?) Of what has been brought up is evidence pointing in a direction. Some better or stronger evidence than others but you have to build a case.

I do think dog adoption/rescue is a good piece of evidence. As with other evidence, it shows the ability to have empathy and think of others in need over other desires. I would never think someone who buys a pure breed is a bad person... just like I wouldn't for someone driving a BMW but do I think the percentages are higher for those who versus who adopt? I would say strongly yes just like the chance of you being a douche are better for BMW drivers over other brands. It is all about evidence.

(Apologies to BMW owners... yet again one of our kin showed themselves to be a douche on the road recently thus you catch strays here)

 

[Chadstroma]

Took my daughter to dinner last week and talked through things with her which also touched base on how to tell someone is good... she actually asked more questions about that subject than anything else. My lead in was how dating doesn't need to be serious at this age but you need to make good decisions with it as you are learning about relationships and people while you do it. Bad decisions can end up impacting your whole life but in the end dating has one of the biggest impacts on your quality of life as it leads to who you will marry. That you want to find good guys. And she immediately asked how do you do that and how do you know? So, I discussed much of what was discussed here in this thread my own and what others brought up. It was a real good dinner and I am very happy I planned to do that with her. It was a bit late as I wanted to do it before she started school but the times I planned on doing it before she wanted to go with her friends to places. Adapt and trive.

 

[General Malaise]

I think this is a good topic and a great question. I've often thought about this myself and have a few things I'd consider for this list of being a good person....the shopping cart thing is definitely one of them!

- On your license, are you an organ donor? If 'yes' I think that is a point in favor of being a good person.
- If you are a dog owner, did you rescue or adopt the dog? If 'yes' I think that's another point in favor of being a good person. And yes, I know some people have to BUY designer dogs for allergies and there are other reasons to spend money to buy a puppy, but the world is full of animals that will be euthanized if we don't step up to give them a home. Those people are the good people, IMO.
- How does a person treat the restaurant server, bartender, staff, etc? Are you treating them all with respect, kindness and possibly with some grace if they are slammed? If I don't know you well and we're out together at a restaurant or bar, I'm judging you on how you interact with the staff there.
- Do you wave when people let you in to merge or change lanes? If you wave, I think you're a nice person who knows how to thank a person for their kindness. I find the non-wavers to be selfish and inconsiderate.


That's a few I'd add. Not sure how this helps your daughter dating, though.

Good on all of these except adoption/rescue dogs. I may - buy haven’t yet. Have had 2 amazing pure bred labs that I bought from reputable, excellent breeders. 28 great years combined with my family. Zero regrets. If that makes me a bad person so be it.

I definitely don't think it makes you a bad person and I understand why people buy pure breeds, and said as much.

I just think folks who rescue a dog are filling a huge need and my respect for a person who rescues a dog ticks up a bit.

 

[elguapo07]

I think the biggest harbinger of a person's character is how they handle adversity or stress.
In defense of George, Eric the clown was in the way.
Even a psychopath can seem like a good person when all is well, but when things go wrong, there is a perceived slight or they don't get what they want, how do they handle it? People with bad character either get angry and belligerent or will lie/cheat/manipulate to get what they want.

I call this the George Costanza rule. If someone shouts fire and you knock over the old lady with the walker trying to get to the door you are not a nice person.

 

[rockaction]

I think this is a good topic and a great question. I've often thought about this myself and have a few things I'd consider for this list of being a good person....the shopping cart thing is definitely one of them!

- On your license, are you an organ donor? If 'yes' I think that is a point in favor of being a good person.
- If you are a dog owner, did you rescue or adopt the dog? If 'yes' I think that's another point in favor of being a good person. And yes, I know some people have to BUY designer dogs for allergies and there are other reasons to spend money to buy a puppy, but the world is full of animals that will be euthanized if we don't step up to give them a home. Those people are the good people, IMO.
- How does a person treat the restaurant server, bartender, staff, etc? Are you treating them all with respect, kindness and possibly with some grace if they are slammed? If I don't know you well and we're out together at a restaurant or bar, I'm judging you on how you interact with the staff there.
- Do you wave when people let you in to merge or change lanes? If you wave, I think you're a nice person who knows how to thank a person for their kindness. I find the non-wavers to be selfish and inconsiderate.


That's a few I'd add. Not sure how this helps your daughter dating, though.

Good on all of these except adoption/rescue dogs. I may - buy haven’t yet. Have had 2 amazing pure bred labs that I bought from reputable, excellent breeders. 28 great years combined with my family. Zero regrets. If that makes me a bad person so be it.

I definitely don't think it makes you a bad person and I understand why people buy pure breeds, and said as much.

I just think folks who rescue a dog are filling a huge need and my respect for a person who rescues a dog ticks up a bit.

Can I add to this even though your heart is totally in the right place? These places are beginning (or are fully in the midst of) lying about pit bull mixes. They lie lie lie about obvious pit mixes with large retriever dogs that normally go to families. It’s disgusting and comes from the odious animal rights activists that believe in placement above all else. These are terrible dogs for families (in my opinion for anyone) and until the practice ends I would actually counsel against a rescue dog. Not only do they have this issue, the shelters tend to push dogs that have other behavioral issues. My brother has been through it with three of them and a ****ty dog ruins entire afternoons.

I’m just really not in favor of rescue dogs anymore, and I don’t think it comes from a character place. In fact, I think I’m considerate because I place humans first and animals second which is contra the modern defect of the lunatic reversal the new age freaks seem to have agreed to.

Fin.

 

[General Malaise]

Yeah, my rescue surely has pit mix in him, but he's the best dog I've ever loved and I'm not sure there is a close 2nd. I'm biased I suppose but what's the alternative? We just kill all pit mixes? For if we did, I wouldn't have ever met my goodest boy who ever was a boy.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Easiest way to avoid the pit dilemma, and still show preternatural virtue, is adopting a rescue cat.

 

[General Malaise]

Easiest way to avoid the pit dilemma, and still show preternatural virtue, is adopting a rescue cat.

I did that too. She hates me almost as much as my daughter does for merely existing, feeding them, housing them and in the case of the cat, the ONLY one who cleans her litter box. Ungrateful ****.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Easiest way to avoid the pit dilemma, and still show preternatural virtue, is adopting a rescue cat.

I did that too. She hates me almost as much as my daughter does for merely existing, feeding them, housing them and in the case of the cat, the ONLY one who cleans her litter box. Ungrateful ****.

Right.

This is why cat lovers categorically are good people - they don’t require the unconditional love and loyalty dogs shower on their owners. There’s no guaranteed benefit to owning a cat, just selflessly attending to their needs.

FTR, I love all animals. We have an ex-feral kitty, rescued from the streets of central Oahu. Had adopted a pound pit years ago (ex-gf’s idea, definitely not a good person), but had to return it after it bit the neighbor’s dog. We then got a boxer from a breeder, probably the best dog I’ve ever owned.

 

[General Malaise]

Easiest way to avoid the pit dilemma, and still show preternatural virtue, is adopting a rescue cat.

I did that too. She hates me almost as much as my daughter does for merely existing, feeding them, housing them and in the case of the cat, the ONLY one who cleans her litter box. Ungrateful ****.

Right.

This is why cat lovers categorically are good people - they don’t require the unconditional love and loyalty dogs shower on their owners. There’s no guaranteed benefit to owning a cat, just selflessly attending to their needs.

FTR, I love all animals. We have an ex-feral kitty, rescued from the streets of central Oahu. Had adopted a pound pit years ago (ex-gf’s idea, definitely not a good person), but had to return it after it bit the neighbor’s dog. We then got a boxer from a breeder, probably the best dog I’ve ever owned.

My mom was known around town as "the ferret lady" and we probably had 10 of them growing up? Ferret Fawcett was the best one. Some were better than others. We had one that was downright evil. Petunia....she would find loose pockets of skin like the webbing between your thumb and index finger and latch on with the jaws of life.

Also had a pet pigeon, a turtle, a couple of rabbits and my mom even rescued and nursed back to health a litter (?) of baby possums. She was an interesting lady. Can't believe my dad stayed with her to the end.

 

[urbanhack]

I think I'm a pretty good person and most people would agree and a lot of it is based on small things.

Just to toot my own horn. As many of you know I'm a huge disc golfer and losing discs and not getting them returned is a crappy part of the game. On Tuesday night I was sitting on the couch getting ready to go to bed. (I go to bed early! 9pm to 10pm most week nights) I was checking FB and I saw some guy post that he lost a disc at the course near me and that someone had found and hid it in a tree near the first hole. It was the guy's favorite disc and it had a special design on it but he was already home more than an hour away. So I hoped in my car at 9:30pm and went and got it and will be returning it to him later this week. He responded and is going to generously give me a custom designed disc in return. This was of an exercise in karma for me and putting something good back out into the universe.

 

[Thorn]

I think a good one that I've used before when I can't get a read on someone is, how do they react if I disagree with them completely, about something unimportant. Do they get defensive or dismissive, make fun of or belittle me? Or are they curious or deprecating? It's sort of a shorthand way to find out "how do they react to stress/adversity" without having to wait around for stress to show up.

Oh and I own both a rescue dog AND a rescue cat, so SUCK IT@!

 

[belljr]

Side topic.... How do you lose a frolf disc?

 

[Hoh]

Side topic.... How do you lose a frolf

think of it like this..people who can only hit a golf ball 40 yards probably wonder how you can lose golf balls.

But also, probably half the discs I have lost occur when I throw a second shot off the teepad for practice and forget to pick one of them up. :bag emoji:

 

[belljr]

Side topic.... How do you lose a frolf

think of it like this..people who can only hit a golf ball 40 yards probably wonder how you can lose golf balls.

But also, probably half the discs I have lost occur when I throw a second shot off the teepad for practice and forget to pick one of them up. :bag emoji:

I mean are you throwing discs over ponds?

Are the courses lined with heavy woods?

That's basically how you lose them. I'll be honest all the disc golf I've seen have been pretty basic

 

[Hoh]

Side topic.... How do you lose a frolf

think of it like this..people who can only hit a golf ball 40 yards probably wonder how you can lose golf balls.

But also, probably half the discs I have lost occur when I throw a second shot off the teepad for practice and forget to pick one of them up. :bag emoji:

I mean are you throwing discs over ponds?

Are the courses lined with heavy woods?

That's basically how you lose them. I'll be honest all the disc golf I've seen have been pretty basic

Yes and yes. Wooded courses are particularly tough in the fall because they’ll slide under the leaves. Some of the courses in the woods are really beautiful.

 

[urbanhack]

Side topic.... How do you lose a frolf

think of it like this..people who can only hit a golf ball 40 yards probably wonder how you can lose golf balls.

But also, probably half the discs I have lost occur when I throw a second shot off the teepad for practice and forget to pick one of them up. :bag emoji:

I mean are you throwing discs over ponds?

Are the courses lined with heavy woods?

That's basically how you lose them. I'll be honest all the disc golf I've seen have been pretty basic

Yes...all of the above. And there is the situation where you are playing or practicing and throwing a bunch of extra shots and leave one behind. That's usually how I lose them.