Having surgery for Hernia. Didn’t tell wife I a-la-carted vasectomy (1 Viewer)

[Big League Chew]

Thoughts? prayers ? Hide my sperm under mattress ?

 

[bigbottom]

Oh man, it’s gonna be super awkward if she gets pregnant!

 

[jobarules]

How old are you both?

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

In a month or so, tell her you are ready to try for another kid. 

 

[Manster]

Dude......you're playin with fire

 

[Runkle]

RIP

 

[Terminalxylem]

Why didn't you tell her?

 

[Dezbelief]

Yall already got a couple of kids?

 

[Dezbelief]

RIP

First the snip snip, then the bobbitt.

 

[bostonfred]

In a month or so, tell her you are ready to try for another kid. 

This is so wrong

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

This is so wrong

That’s what makes it funny. 

 

[WDIK2]

Oh, this has potential. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Was it a 2 for 1 special? Did you have to bring in a coupon?

 

[belljr]

Might as well add a couple inches while you're down there

 

[Captain Cranks]

Hide the mail....and if that doesn't work, hide the money.

 

[gianmarco]

Hide the male....and if that doesn't work, hide the money.

FYP

 

[ChiefD]

Meredith Baxter-Birney stars in the Thanskgiving Special:

"Family Jewels Ties"

 

[SoBeDad]

To be sure the surgery was a success you'll have to make a deposit about a month later at a lab like Quest. Will you be thinking about Baywatch? 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

First the snip snip, then the bobbitt.

Let's hope his wife's name isn't Lorena.

 

[massraider]

You did the right thing

 

[belljr]

SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP

 

[Dan Lambskin]

To be sure the surgery was a success you'll have to make a deposit about a month later at a lab like Quest. Will you be thinking about Baywatch? 

A buddy of mine did this but apparently didn’t get the memo that he was supposed to…”make the sample” at home 

the receptionist begrudgingly gave him a sample cup and pointed him to the restroom…the best part is it wasn’t even a private restroom 

we tease him about this regularly 

 

[Osaurus]

Best of luck and farewell to your boys. 

 

[eoMMan]

Good for you. No kids is the way to go. Definitely positive EV.

 

[belljr]

A buddy of mine did this but apparently didn’t get the memo that he was supposed to…”make the sample” at home 

the receptionist begrudgingly gave him a sample cup and pointed him to the restroom…the best part is it wasn’t even a private restroom 

we tease him about this regularly 

Oh yeah - well when the wife and I were having trouble getting pregnant we went in for IVF.

I go into the room - and I #### you not - theres a Bob the Builder VHS tape in the VCR......  I could never watch that show again.....

 

[Tom Servo]

Oh man, it’s gonna be super awkward if she gets pregnant!

I had a coworker that this  happened to. Their marriage got a little strained because he thought she had a side piece. 
It turns out that the doctor cut the same tube twice. 
ETA: After this, he was given the nickname “One Nut”.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I had a coworker that this  happened to. Their marriage got a little strained because he thought she had a side piece. 
It turns out that the doctor cut the same tube twice. 
ETA: After this, he was given the nickname “One Nut”.

The perfect gift for him this Christmas:

https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.dc36f751a50dae2a7b9ef6be92ad7ef2?

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

This is wrong on so many levels.

 

[AAABatteries]

Oh yeah - well when the wife and I were having trouble getting pregnant we went in for IVF.

I go into the room - and I #### you not - theres a Bob the Builder VHS tape in the VCR......  I could never watch that show again.....

CAN YOU JERK IT?  YES YOU CAN!!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah - well when the wife and I were having trouble getting pregnant we went in for IVF.

I go into the room - and I #### you not - theres a Bob the Builder VHS tape in the VCR......  I could never watch that show again.....

Two IVF kids here but never donated my portion on site.  I would have Mrs. SLB work some magic off site and bring it in.

Except one time she couldn't bring it in.  Remember, this is before kids when I still had humility and shame. 

I take one for the team and  reluctantly deliver it to the office in a waiting room full of patients.  My sample is in a paper bag though so no big deal.  However in my hastiness to achieve my goal, I forgot to write my name on the jar.  This was quickly discovered by the young lady behind the desk who is holding my boys in plain view of everyone in the waiting room.  She's waving it all over asking for a pen and tossing it between her hands like she's Curly Neal or something. I about died right there.

 

[belljr]

Two IVF kids here but never donated my portion on site.  I would have Mrs. SLB work some magic off site and bring it in.

Except one time she couldn't bring it in.  Remember, this is before kids when I still had humility and shame. 

I take one for the team and  reluctantly deliver it to the office in a waiting room full of patients.  My sample is in a paper bag though so no big deal.  However in my hastiness to achieve my goal, I forgot to write my name on the jar.  This was quickly discovered by the young lady behind the desk who is holding my boys in plain view of everyone in the waiting room.  She's waving it all over asking for a pen and tossing it between her hands like she's Curly Neal or something. I about died right there.

While I was in the waiting room, I believe it was an Orthodox Jewish fella, came out to the waiting room, shirt half untucked, very sweaty, looking only at the floor......