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House Broken Into - Thief Fingered (1 Viewer)

WDIK2 said:
The dad broke into your house and took the stuff.  
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Like I said, dad likely knew his son did it and looked the other way. Read the entire post.

As a parent, are you not responsible for the actions of your child?

This is what is wrong with society today ... people like @WDIK2 that just GROW kids and don't raise them.

 My kid  f'd up in school? That's the teachers problem. .... My kid brook into the neighbors house? Sucks to be THAT guy. 

Keep up the good work friend.

 
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"Do you see what happens, Larry?  Do you see what happens, LARRY?!  Do you see what happens, LARRY, when you #### a stranger in the ###?!?!"

Go outside, start yelling this, replace "Larry" with whatever this hoodlum's name is, and start smashing up his car with a crowbar.  Then go to the In and Out Burger.

 
Bossman said:
This is what is wrong with society today ... people like @WDIK2 that just GROW kids and don't raise them.
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Where in the #### did that comment come from?  My adult kids are both smart, talented, extremely hard-working, and successful.  But I guess they didn't have the issue of growing up next to criminals.

That was your reaction to my, "The dad took your stuff" post?

WTF is wrong with you?

 
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Bossman said:
really? Greatest EVER?

Not Joe Peci's "funny like a clown?" in  Goodfellas

Not Sam L Jackson "Say What again.." in Pulp Fiction

Not Deniro playing Russian Roulette in the prison camp in Deer Hunter

Not Sigourney Weaver "get away from her YOU B####!" in Aliens 2

You're going with the Tallywacker skit in Porkies as your "Greatest EVER"?
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You forgot Ty Webb "playing through" Carl Spacklers digs in Caddyshack...

We got a pool and a pond....

You can play 36 holes on it in the morning and smoke the be jesus out of it...

Cannonball....right back atcha

 
WDIK2 said:
Where in the #### did that comment come from?  My adult kids are both smart, talented, extremely hard-working, and successful.  But I guess they didn't have the issue of growing up next to criminals.

That was your reaction to my, "The dad took your stuff" post?

WTF is wrong with you?
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I took your post as a wise az comment ... as in; I have no right be mad at the father for looking the other way days after it happened ... since it was his 17 year old kid and not him.

If that isn't how you meant it then I apologize ... but that's certainly how it came across. 

 
eoMMan said:
But I thought his prints weren't a match?  Maybe he bought the shoes off of the real thief?
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CSI blows the idea of certainty with fingerprinting out of proportion. Very possible only a partial print was lifted or it’s just a print from some other random person recently who happened to touch in that area. 

 
Bossman said:
I took your post as a wise az comment ... as in; I have no right be mad at the father for looking the other way days after it happened ... since it was his 17 year old kid and not him.

If that isn't how you meant it then I apologize ... but that's certainly how it came across. 
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You got that from "The dad broke into your house and took the stuff."?  How about taking it as looking just slightly outside the box for a second?  Maybe the dad blew you off because he was the one that broke into your house.  You say the kid is a criminal.  How about the apple not falling for from the tree, "I learned it from you, dad" and all that?

I apologize if you have a reading comprehension disability.  

 
Bossman said:
You read my op and my post that you quoted and ask me this?

yes, one of us certainly has a reading comprehension disability.

I suggest you go back and read both again. I accept your apology in advance.
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My reading of this is that he read the entire thread, including how you showed the dad the flyers and the prints did not match the kids, adding to it the fact that the prints did not match the kid's prints while the kid has the shoes to deduce that the dad stole your stuff, or he helped his kid steal your stuff.

 
The Big Guy said:
My reading of this is that he read the entire thread, including how you showed the dad the flyers and the prints did not match the kids, adding to it the fact that the prints did not match the kid's prints while the kid has the shoes to deduce that the dad stole your stuff, or he helped his kid steal your stuff.
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Oh, crap. I see now. Yeah, I'm an idiot.

Sorry, still raging over this 7 years later.

No, the dad didn't take my stuff. Kid was giving him fits and he had his hands full with 3 boys and no mom/ wife.

eta: the kid was home that day and watched both me and then my wife leave for work. Wife saw him as she left for work.

We live in a nice neighborhood and the dad does well. There is no doubt the kid did it. 

 
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Did you re-post the old shoe flyer to the door?

That or have it ready the next time he’s on the court wearing YOUR shoes and hand it directly to him. 

This kid broke into your house and stole your stuff, you don’t owe him any courtesy.

 
Zow said:
CSI blows the idea of certainty with fingerprinting out of proportion. Very possible only a partial print was lifted or it’s just a print from some other random person recently who happened to touch in that area. 
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Are DNA tests from hair or semen pretty much a stone cold lock with 100% certainty? Meaning if one of them was left behind. 

 
The statute of limitations is probably up anyway so the cops most likely won’t do a anything. And the ring is most likely looooong gone.

You could confront the kid, try talking to him to get some kind of resolution, and move on. In a weird way, he may need a talk with you and to get some closure more than you do.

 
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yeah just confront him. Ask why is he wearing a pair of stolen shoes all these years later. And just tell him to his face, loud enough for every other person within a half mile radius to hear, that he's a basic b#tch for not being able to afford a new pair of shoes with the profits from all the other stuff he stole or having an actual job. Then take off the old pair shoes that you are wearing and toss them in his general direction and mention it's all good because you get a tax credit for donating to the needy. Then walk away wearing the new pair of shoes you brought with you. 

 
I’d talk to the kid privately, and calmly explain to him why you know those are your stolen shoes he’s wearing, and that you know he was the thief and that all you want is your wife’s ring back and can he help you get it. He probably can’t. But if he’s not admitting to the crime, or you sense he’s holding back - you could tell him your next call is to the police unless he cooperates. Ex-cons, especially if he’s on parole, don’t want to talk to cops. 

 
 It’s over Johnny. 

While it may not replace some sentimental value, I’m guessing you received insurance money for the ring? If the guy has turned his life around, let it go. The ring is long gone and he has no idea where it may be. It was likely sold several times over. Based on all of the likely outcomes from some sort of confrontation, it’s pointless and would likely do more harm than good. 

 
cashman88 said:
I’d talk to the kid privately, and calmly explain to him why you know those are your stolen shoes he’s wearing, and that you know he was the thief and that all you want is your wife’s ring back and can he help you get it. He probably can’t. But if he’s not admitting to the crime, or you sense he’s holding back - you could tell him your next call is to the police unless he cooperates. Ex-cons, especially if he’s on parole, don’t want to talk to cops. 
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It's either this ...or appreciate the fact that he's turned his life around, i.e., be happy for him.

 
Cjw_55106 said:
 It’s over Johnny. 

While it may not replace some sentimental value, I’m guessing you received insurance money for the ring? If the guy has turned his life around, let it go. The ring is long gone and he has no idea where it may be. It was likely sold several times over. Based on all of the likely outcomes from some sort of confrontation, it’s pointless and would likely do more harm than good. 
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This is the real answer. 

Let it go. 

ETA - there’s still no way I could resist not posting the flyer on the door again. Lol, I’d post those things on every single tree from his house to the basketball court. It would be like an episode of the twilight zone 

 
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I can't just do nothing. Will likely have a word with him before or after the next game.

I've already come to the conclusion that my stuff is gone and can not be recovered after all these years.

Cops can do nothing here anyway. The kid is working now, raising a 3 yo kid. So I'm not even sure what I'm angling for here.

 
Invite him over for a drink after the game.  Ask him to remove shoes to come in.  Take shoes replace with flyer....finish drink, ask him to go...then video and post ending here.

 
Bossman said:
Couple weeks ago, now 6 or 8 years after the crime, We're playing bball at my other neighbors and this kid (24 now?) shows up WEARING MY ####ing SNEAKERS!

I couldn't believe it. Thought that I must be mistaken. It's been a long time and I just forgot what they looked like.  Went home after, still had the flyer on my laptop. Yup, THE SAME SHOES!
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Were yours the only pair made of this type and color of shoes? There's a greater than 0 chance that this is coincidence.

 
Taser the *******, tie him a pole in the neighborhood in just a jock strap with a sign around his neck that says anyone that had objects stolen in the time range of A to B take a free kick to the nuts.

 
ChiefD said:
I think we need to explore why the wife left that morning NOT wearing the wedding ring....
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That is what the insurance company asked me when I put in the claim.

I could tell she was pretty embarrassed that she had to ask that.

Truth is, ring didn't fit 18 years after the engagement and 2 kids later.

Wife probably should have had it resized but I think she was holding out hope that she would eventually get back into game shape.

... or maybe she was just looking to "hook up"? ... which in hind sight is what I should have told the insurance detective lady.

 Either way, it was off and she very much blamed herself for losing it ... which pissed me off even more. Was in no way her fault.

 
Cjw_55106 said:
 It’s over Johnny. 

While it may not replace some sentimental value, I’m guessing you received insurance money for the ring? If the guy has turned his life around, let it go. The ring is long gone and he has no idea where it may be. It was likely sold several times over. Based on all of the likely outcomes from some sort of confrontation, it’s pointless and would likely do more harm than good. 
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If he's still wearing stolen shoes that he jacked 8 years ago to a pick-up game with the original owner, then there's close to zero chance he turned his life around at all. The bare minimum required is to call him out and then let it go, because you don't want him around anyway. You can't let ### clowns like this get a free pass in life. 

 
Bossman said:
The part that really burns me is the fact that the father was no help to me.

I've talked to him several times prior to, and after the break in. He knows me. We've always been friendly. He has no reason to dislike me.

Sent him flyers and made him aware. After he learned that my house was broken into, how about you check the kids room or car for my stuff?

I sent him a flyer with the photo of my sneakers FCS  ... and he either didn't bother to look or saw them in his kids room, knew what went down, and did nothing.

If anyone deserves a punch to the face, it'd be him. He's my age and a hockey player so at least it would be a better fight.
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Dad knew, he just couldn’t cope with it.  Not sure how to handle that.  Tough situation.

I wouldn’t confront the kid until I found out if he still had the ring.  He doesn’t sound like a rocket scientist.  I’m assuming you checked the local pawn shops after it was stolen.  If you didn’t find it there it’s possible you find it on his girlfriend’s finger at some point.  

The shoes are tough to prove.  You catch him or his girlfriend with your wedding ring in their possession and they are ####ed.

 
TwinTurbo said:
If he's still wearing stolen shoes that he jacked 8 years ago to a pick-up game with the original owner, then there's close to zero chance he turned his life around at all. The bare minimum required is to call him out and then let it go, because you don't want him around anyway. You can't let ### clowns like this get a free pass in life. 
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The guy was a druggie. I highly doubt he has any idea where the shoes even came from at this point. It's very likely the OP was not his first or last job. 

 
set up a sting operation to catch him in the act. at the end of the next basketball game, announce loudly, "HEY GUYS, IF YOU DON'T SEE ME, I WILL BE GOING OUT OF TOWN FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. OH, AND I WILL BE LEAVING A LARGE PILE OF CASH ON MY COFFEE TABLE, AND THE BACK DOOR UNLOCKED."

for maximum effect, set up some Home Alone style booby traps.

 
Bossman said:
I can't just do nothing. Will likely have a word with him before or after the next game.

I've already come to the conclusion that my stuff is gone and can not be recovered after all these years.

Cops can do nothing here anyway. The kid is working now, raising a 3 yo kid. So I'm not even sure what I'm angling for here.
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A happy ending in return for the fingering?

 
At the very least, since you likely have zero recourse, just say something like this:

Hey you little ####, I see you did take my stuff.  Fine, whatever, there was no proof, but if you #### with me or my stuff ever again, there will be be more than enough evidence one way or another that you will never leave that prison again.  We understand one another, champ?

 
Cjw_55106 said:
The guy was a druggie. I highly doubt he has any idea where the shoes even came from at this point. It's very likely the OP was not his first or last job. 
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sounds like the most reasonable explanation.

The guy did multiple thefts.  I doubt he kept a spreadsheet on where each item was acquired.  He may not even remember if they were stolen or not.

 
Neighbor with the bball court in his yard knows whats up. Texted him the flyer (same one that I mailed to him 6 years ago) the day after the game last week and he responded *he's was wearing them? no f-ing way!*. me - Yup.

He asked me how I wanted him to handle it. Uninvite the kid or not. I said no, let him play. I may or may not have a word with him.

So, played bball at the neighbors house last night. Kid is there (ok, guy 23ish)

So when the kids back is turned, good neighbor is looking at the kids shoes, he looks back at me with a grin and shakes his head. Yeah, hard to fathom.

I say nothing before or during the game. After the game, it's really dark out now, kid makes his way down the driveway. I catch up to him ...

Now I don't remember the exact conversation word for word but it went much like this;

me "Hey  (his name), do you remember where you got those sneakers?" ... him "ah, no" ... me "because they're MINE" 

him, fumbling for a response ... me "size 11.5 right?" .... he reaches down and pulls the tongue back to reveal the label. It's super dark not even sure how he could read it, and he says "no size 10".

I shake on my phone light and shine it on the label. I know for a FACT these are mine and 11.5 ... him "oh, that's UK. ...Yeah, 11.5".

Meanwhile, I know the "good" neighbor is watching from the other end of the driveway knowing what is transpiring. Seeing the cell light shining on the shoes. He's got to be enjoying this.

me "yeah, you've had those for a while haven't you" ... with my phone light on I can see his eyes welling up. His voice is shaky "I don't know. I don't remember"

At this point he doesn't know if I'm about to beat him or what and I assume he's about fudging in his pants.

me "there's 2 ways we can go here. You can deny it ... or you can own it, and we can both move forward." 

him ... "That was a really f'd up time in my life. I was really f'd up. bla, bla, bla".  me "THAT's what I want to hear. Don't just deny it. Just fing say it so we can move on"

him - more of the same I was f'd up, in a really bad place, bla bla bla. 

me, now with the threat of me punching him in the face much less I ask .... "do you have any of my other s***?" ... him "I don't even remember what I took. I was so f'd up. I really don't remember". 

I've been in sales and have dealt with customers and employees for 30 years. I can smell BS from a mile away. This kid came across as sincere.

Said he really didn't remember and now in my head, since I've never done heroin, I don't know if that habit comes with memory loss ... or if you function with no memory of what you did, so I'm standing there thinking; ok, he really might not remember. If he doesn't remember what he took, he's not going to remember where it went.

And stands to reason, he wouldn't be wearing them if he remembered where they came from.

... and I think at this point, I've accepted the fact that all my stuff is long gone. I'm more interested in a confession, letting him know that I know, and any other information ... since that's all I can get at this point.

I really have nothing left for him. I just need to process this and I really don't know what else to say, so I ended the conversation with "I can forgive but I won't forget" and walked away. 

Thinking that if I can gain his confidence, I still wan't to probe him for more info. See if he had an accomplice. If maybe there was a certain pawn shop that he used. If he remembers anything.

He might actually have some of my stuff and not even know it's mine. My son's old XBox. A tablet. Wooden jewelry box with some old coins. etc.

If nothing else, answered some questions that I've had for 6/7 years ... even though we suspected him all along. Now it's confirmed.

Thus concludes this weeks episode of Jerry Springer.

 
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Bossman said:
Neighbor with the bball court in his yard knows whats up. Texted him the flyer (same one that I mailed to him 6 years ago) the day after the game last week and he responded *he's was wearing them? no f-ing way!*. me - Yup.

He asked me how I wanted him to handle it. Uninvite the kid or not. I said no, let him play. I may or may not have a word with him.

So, played bball at the neighbors house last night. Kid is there (ok, guy 23ish)

So when the kids back is turned, good neighbor is looking at the kids shoes, he looks back at me with a grin and shakes his head. Yeah, hard to fathom.

I say nothing before or during the game. After the game, it's really dark out now, kid makes his way down the driveway. I catch up to him ...

Now I don't remember the exact conversation word for word but it went much like this;

me "Hey  (his name), do you remember where you got those sneakers?" ... him "ah, no" ... me "because they're MINE" 

him, fumbling for a response ... me "size 11.5 right?" .... he reaches down and pulls the tongue back to reveal the label. It's super dark not even sure how he could read it, and he says "no size 10".

I shake on my phone light and shine it on the label. I know for a FACT these are mine and 11.5 ... him "oh, that's UK. ...Yeah, 11.5".

Meanwhile, I know the "good" neighbor is watching from the other end of the driveway knowing what is transpiring. Seeing the cell light shining on the shoes. He's got to be enjoying this.

me "yeah, you've had those for a while haven't you" ... with my phone light on I can see his eyes welling up. His voice is shaky "I don't know. I don't remember"

At this point he doesn't know if I'm about to beat him or what and I assume he's about fudging in his pants.

me "there's 2 ways we can go here. You can deny it ... or you can own it, and we can both move forward." 

him ... "That was a really f'd up time in my life. I was really f'd up. bla, bla, bla".  me "THAT's what I want to hear. Don't just deny it. Just fing say it so we can move on"

him - more of the same I was f'd up, in a really bad place, bla bla bla. 

me, now with the threat of me punching him in the face much less I ask .... "do you have any of my other s***?" ... him "I don't even remember what I took. I was so f'd up. I really don't remember". 

I've been in sales and have dealt with customers and employees for 30 years. I can smell BS from a mile away. This kid came across as sincere.

Said he really didn't remember and now in my head, since I've never done heroin, I don't know if that habit comes with memory loss ... or if you function with no memory of what you did, so I'm standing there thinking; ok, he really might not remember. If he doesn't remember what he took, he's not going to remember where it went.

And stands to reason, he wouldn't be wearing them if he remembered where they came from.

... and I think at this point, I've accepted the fact that all my stuff is long gone. I'm more interested in a confession, letting him know that I know, and any other information ... since that's all I can get at this point.

I really have nothing left for him. I just need to process this and I really don't know what else to say, so I ended the conversation with "I can forgive but I won't forget" and walked away. 

Thinking that if I can gain his confidence, I still wan't to probe him for more info. See if he had an accomplice. If maybe there was a certain pawn shop that he used. If he remembers anything.

He might actually have some of my stuff and not even know it's mine. My son's old XBox. A tablet. Wooden jewelry box with some old coins. etc.

If nothing else, answered some questions that I've had for 6/7 years ... even though we suspected him all along. Now it's confirmed.

Thus concludes this weeks episode of Jerry Springer.
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Great update and kudos to you for how you handled.  Hopefully the guy is on the straight and narrow now.  Coming down hard on him now wouldnt have benefitted anyone.  Now maybe he will try to make amends and help you find some of the things you lost.  

 
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