How can people afford multiple kids with less than $57k/yr income (1 Viewer)

[Jayrod]

Like some have alluded to, we have overinflated our list of "necessities" to include cell phones, bigger houses, bigger cars and youth sports. None of these are needed to raise a kid and keeping a family healthy and happy doesn't require much more than food, shelter and some time to teach/raise them.

I live in the heart of upper-middle class Midwestern suburbia where every kid is on a travel team, has a cell phone at 11 and gets a car at 16. My wife and I are both professionals and do better than a lot of our peers, but we still have pumped the brakes on a lot of these things.

Here is what we have done to "cut costs" (although NONE of these are necessities):

• Our kids didn't get cell phones until they were 13, and those were hand-downs after my wife and I upgraded. Still our total plan is pricy, but the convenience of communication and tracking of the kids is worth it.
• My 16.5 year old "still" doesn't have his own vehicle and will get something cheap this Summer so he can work a job. I'd like him to have a car if not just to not have to tote him around, but that is a heavy price tag right now. Just adding him to auto insurance was enough of a blow when he turned 16.
• We have put our 12-yr old daughter in a cheaper regional volleyball club, but I never paid for our son to be on a travelling basketball team and luckily he dropped baseball at an early age. Unfortunately with volleyball, if you don't play club, you will never be good enough play for the school team. Our kids attend at a 6-A, state championship level high school in all sports. If you aren't really freaking good, you don't even make the team much less start/play. We've basically done the minimum necessary to give them the chance to play and both my wife and I were college athletes, so we wanted them to at least have the opportunity.
• Vacations have been done as cheaply as possible. Most of the time we visit extended family and get free places to stay and we only fly if I've racked up enough miles. 2 things we still haven't done but want to do before my son graduates is Washington DC & a snow ski trip. They are both expensive trips, but experiences I desperately want to provide. We have not and never will do Disney. The people that do that are nuts, IMO.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I'm 56. There was none of this when I was a kid. Our parents were not heavily involved in our recreation besides dropping off / picking up for maybe one activity that met once a week.

Same. But you go to non-school sporting events for little kids today, and the whole family is there cheering them on, including the grandparents. I get wanting to be involved in your kid's/grandkid's lives, but there has to be a better way than this.

 

[Sand]

Like some have alluded to, we have overinflated our list of "necessities" to include cell phones, bigger houses, bigger cars and youth sports. None of these are needed to raise a kid and keeping a family healthy and happy doesn't require much more than food, shelter and some time to teach/raise them.

Charlie Munger - "the world is driven by envy, not greed." Nailed it.

• Vacations have been done as cheaply as possible. Most of the time we visit extended family and get free places to stay and we only fly if I've racked up enough miles. 2 things we still haven't done but want to do before my son graduates is Washington DC & a snow ski trip. They are both expensive trips, but experiences I desperately want to provide. We have not and never will do Disney. The people that do that are nuts, IMO.

I brought my kid to Philly and DC last summer. It was a great time. DC is really all about hotel costs - go when Congress is in session and it's through the roof. Otherwise it's just expensive. We found a good spot near the airport next to the metro station and it worked well.

 

[Gally]

I'm the only person in my household who feels this way, but I'm very strongly opposed to this kind of thing philosophically. It's not just that it's a waste of money. It's also that that people who have kids in these leagues invest all their travel/vacation time into this stuff too. They could be taking their family someplace fun or educational. Instead they're holed up in the Fairfield Inn on the outskirts of Omaha for some dumbass indoor soccer tournament for middle schoolers, surrounded by a bunch of other families with similarly messed up priorities. And they do this every other weekend seemingly.

It was so much better when we competed against other kids locally instead of trying turn our kids into mini-pros.

What if these type of outings is what is fun for the family? You are spending time as a family with other families that are friends of yours doing something you enjoy. Why is this worse than any other type of vacation? If this is what you enjoy and like to spend time doing, why is this a problem?

The problem comes in with regards to expectations. If you are expecting your kid to get a scholarship or go pro then you are out of whack. That is likely never going to happen. But saying they are wasting vacation money is wrong if the family enjoys these outings. Some of the best memories my kids have are playing games with their friends and hanging out at the pool after games being kids. I would say for many kids this is much more enjoyable than being dragged around to see the biggest ball of yarn out in the middle of nowhere on a "family vacation".

There is a happy medium and unfortunately many don't adhere to this. You can play travel ball without spending $10K a year on it and you can also play it for part of the year to leave time for a mix of vacation types. It's out there if your expectations are leveled and you understand what value you can really get out of it.

 

[Zow]

Like some have alluded to, we have overinflated our list of "necessities" to include cell phones, bigger houses, bigger cars and youth sports. None of these are needed to raise a kid and keeping a family healthy and happy doesn't require much more than food, shelter and some time to teach/raise them.

I live in the heart of upper-middle class Midwestern suburbia where every kid is on a travel team, has a cell phone at 11 and gets a car at 16. My wife and I are both professionals and do better than a lot of our peers, but we still have pumped the brakes on a lot of these things.

Here is what we have done to "cut costs" (although NONE of these are necessities):

• Our kids didn't get cell phones until they were 13, and those were hand-downs after my wife and I upgraded. Still our total plan is pricy, but the convenience of communication and tracking of the kids is worth it.
• My 16.5 year old "still" doesn't have his own vehicle and will get something cheap this Summer so he can work a job. I'd like him to have a car if not just to not have to tote him around, but that is a heavy price tag right now. Just adding him to auto insurance was enough of a blow when he turned 16.
• We have put our 12-yr old daughter in a cheaper regional volleyball club, but I never paid for our son to be on a travelling basketball team and luckily he dropped baseball at an early age. Unfortunately with volleyball, if you don't play club, you will never be good enough play for the school team. Our kids attend at a 6-A, state championship level high school in all sports. If you aren't really freaking good, you don't even make the team much less start/play. We've basically done the minimum necessary to give them the chance to play and both my wife and I were college athletes, so we wanted them to at least have the opportunity.
• Vacations have been done as cheaply as possible. Most of the time we visit extended family and get free places to stay and we only fly if I've racked up enough miles. 2 things we still haven't done but want to do before my son graduates is Washington DC & a snow ski trip. They are both expensive trips, but experiences I desperately want to provide. We have not and never will do Disney. The people that do that are nuts, IMO.

I mean, when you have such fun pickup games at your local gym with no drama, this makes total sense...

 

[Zow]

Had two kids. They are nearly out of the house. Feel like just in the last ten years kid costs doubled and I got really lucky. Brother in law has two year round baseball players and spends more in baseball costs than I do in housing.

I'm the only person in my household who feels this way, but I'm very strongly opposed to this kind of thing philosophically. It's not just that it's a waste of money. It's also that that people who have kids in these leagues invest all their travel/vacation time into this stuff too. They could be taking their family someplace fun or educational. Instead they're holed up in the Fairfield Inn on the outskirts of Omaha for some dumbass indoor soccer tournament for middle schoolers, surrounded by a bunch of other families with similarly messed up priorities. And they do this every other weekend seemingly.

It was so much better when we competed against other kids locally instead of trying turn our kids into mini-pros.

I'm torn on this. I get your point, and as a father of four it's going to be very difficult for my wife and I to justify the opportunity cost and out of pocket expenses of dedicating an entire weekend to one of the kids' activities. My kids are still young, but I'll be honest when I say that my wife and I were a bit relieved when one of our daughters quit the super serious and intense kids' gymnastics club* or team or whatever as that would have been a significant time and cost commitment. So, for now, we're sticking to just the basic stuff and seeing what they like.

The above notwithstanding, though, from my personal experience as a kid who loved sports more than anything, those weekend tournaments and serious sporting events are my fondest memories of my childhood and I am very grateful to my parents for not only putting up with them but generally supporting me in them. I also strongly submit that those weekends and intense team sports did make me a better person, and now a better partner/boss/employee/team player/motivated individual.

*In case anybody is wondering, we did have a serious discussion with her that it's not okay to quit something that fast, that her coaches and us are disappointed, that we did spend some money that's now wasted, and that if she commits to anything more in the future we are going to expect her to fulfill her commitment. That said, behind her back my wife and I are relieved even though the initiation fee and uniform cost is basically wasted because this particular daughter is very introverted and, no offense to her, athletics are probably not going to be a strong suit for her. She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more.

 

[Jayrod]

• We have put our 12-yr old daughter in a cheaper regional volleyball club, but I never paid for our son to be on a travelling basketball team and luckily he dropped baseball at an early age. Unfortunately with volleyball, if you don't play club, you will never be good enough play for the school team. Our kids attend at a 6-A, state championship level high school in all sports. If you aren't really freaking good, you don't even make the team much less start/play. We've basically done the minimum necessary to give them the chance to play and both my wife and I were college athletes, so we wanted them to at least have the opportunity.

I mean, when you have such fun pickup games at your gym with no drama, this makes total sense...

I like to multi-task whenever possible as it is more economical. Getting both basketball and boxing/MMA practice in at the same time is the shark move.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I'm the only person in my household who feels this way, but I'm very strongly opposed to this kind of thing philosophically. It's not just that it's a waste of money. It's also that that people who have kids in these leagues invest all their travel/vacation time into this stuff too. They could be taking their family someplace fun or educational. Instead they're holed up in the Fairfield Inn on the outskirts of Omaha for some dumbass indoor soccer tournament for middle schoolers, surrounded by a bunch of other families with similarly messed up priorities. And they do this every other weekend seemingly.

It was so much better when we competed against other kids locally instead of trying turn our kids into mini-pros.

What if these type of outings is what is fun for the family? You are spending time as a family with other families that are friends of yours doing something you enjoy. Why is this worse than any other type of vacation? If this is what you enjoy and like to spend time doing, why is this a problem?

The problem comes in with regards to expectations. If you are expecting your kid to get a scholarship or go pro then you are out of whack. That is likely never going to happen. But saying they are wasting vacation money is wrong if the family enjoys these outings. Some of the best memories my kids have are playing games with their friends and hanging out at the pool after games being kids. I would say for many kids this is much more enjoyable than being dragged around to see the biggest ball of yarn out in the middle of nowhere on a "family vacation".

There is a happy medium and unfortunately many don't adhere to this. You can play travel ball without spending $10K a year on it and you can also play it for part of the year to leave time for a mix of vacation types. It's out there if your expectations are leveled and you understand what value you can really get out of it.

Hey, by all means, if your idea of a good time is hanging out by the indoor pool at the Ramada, eating Little Caesars and trading war stories about how your 6th graders whipped up on those 6th graders from Chanhassen, knock yourself out. I found this experience awful.

 

[offdee]

Raising kids sounds swell. So glad I'm out of that life.

 

[Gally]

Hey, by all means, if your idea of a good time is hanging out by the indoor pool at the Ramada, eating Little Caesars and trading war stories about how your 6th graders whipped up on those 6th graders from Chanhassen, knock yourself out. I found this experience awful.

I guess you were with the wrong people. That wasn't my experience at all.

 

[Snotbubbles]

• Vacations have been done as cheaply as possible. Most of the time we visit extended family and get free places to stay and we only fly if I've racked up enough miles. 2 things we still haven't done but want to do before my son graduates is Washington DC & a snow ski trip. They are both expensive trips, but experiences I desperately want to provide. We have not and never will do Disney. The people that do that are nuts, IMO.

Ski trip doesn't have to be expensive. You could stay at a Holiday Inn.

 

[NutterButter]

From the kids perspective, I think they'd rather be at the sports tournament surrounded by their friends than on a family vacation. I've been both the kid and the parent. Hanging around with a bunch of adults that I have a casual relationship with is not my thing. But I was doing it b/c that's what my kid wanted to do. Let's just say I'm happier now that is over with.

 

[FairWarning]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

This country really needs affordable housing. People are priced out from the start.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

The decisions around kids school, sports, phones/media and the like are so highly personalized I think its impossible and unfair to judge decisions a different family makes in all but the most extreme cases. I have good friends on both ends of the tape - with some doing no club sports at all and others seemingly traveling every single weekend - in some cases with dad taking the mini van full of kids to one tournament and mom and another kid flying somewhere else for a different sport the same weekend. It seems crazy but they love it and who tf am I to judge that? We're all just doing our best to keep the balls in the air, keep our sons out of jail and our daughters off the pole.

 

[massraider]

The decisions around kids school, sports, phones/media and the like are so highly personalized I think its impossible and unfair to judge decisions a different family makes in all but the most extreme cases.

I have a brother who takes his son hunting. And is invested in his son's interest in the outdoors. Fishing, hunting year round, ice fishing, ATV trips, everything. But the kid doesn't have a phone. My brother is terribly proud of himself for not spending money on an iPhone.

Meantime, he's blowing money, but it's on recreational activities no one would ever criticize. Taking your kid fishing, who could ever criticize that? But my brother doesn't have the money to spend what he does on this stuff. He had no IRA, he's not saving for retirement.
But if he sees a kid with an iPhone, he is sure he is in the presence of a bad parent.

 

[FBG26]

It seems crazy but they love it and who tf am I to judge that? We're all just doing our best to keep the balls in the air, keep our sons out of jail and our daughters off the pole.

And tryna stay out of AA, amirite?

 

[The Z Machine]

She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more

Girl Scouts

 

[General Malaise]

She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more

Girl Scouts

And participate in the great Girl Scout Cookie racket using child labor to boost national profit margins of 60% that go straight to the evil Girl Scout Corporate overlords? I think not!!!!!111

That said, anybody got any Thin Mints in their freezers they want to get rid of?

 

[belljr]

The decisions around kids school, sports, phones/media and the like are so highly personalized I think its impossible and unfair to judge decisions a different family makes in all but the most extreme cases.

I have a brother who takes his son hunting. And is invested in his son's interest in the outdoors. Fishing, hunting year round, ice fishing, ATV trips, everything. But the kid doesn't have a phone. My brother is terribly proud of himself for not spending money on an iPhone.

Meantime, he's blowing money, but it's on recreational activities no one would ever criticize. Taking your kid fishing, who could ever criticize that? But my brother doesn't have the money to spend what he does on this stuff. He had no IRA, he's not saving for retirement.
But if he sees a kid with an iPhone, he is sure he is in the presence of a bad parent.

My kids first phone at 12ish? was free or like $99 - lol

 

[matttyl]

So saw this thread, which I started 6 years ago when my kid was 1 get bumped. Interesting to read through the updates, but also my original post with the thoughts I had then.

So much has happened, and changed for me, since. Still married, one kid, both of us still gainfully employed, though she’s with a new employer now (great for her as she likely would have been let go of she’d stayed with the last one). We’re in a different tax bracket now, but not what I’d call rich by any means.

Looking back, there was defiantly a point where things got much easier in our household - kid going to school. Getting the daycare bill over with changed everything. Like $15k a year I think. Having an extra 1,200 a month in take home after expenses makes a world of difference.

Also, and I made a post about it a few years ago during it, but having good (really good) health insurance really helps - and again, I’m an insurance agent. When I say “really good” health insurance, what I mean is two things - having a large network of hospitals and doctors (likely a PPO network from a large carrier), and having a max out of pocket that won’t destroy you. When you spend about a month at various children’s hospitals with your kid dealing with something the leading doctors in the country can’t quite figure out - you’re not so worried about what your deductible is, or your copay for a tier 2 drug.

My post 6 years ago was really about how to get ahead with all the priorities and responsibilities of life, especially when kids are involved. Houses and cars are expensive, and have only gotten more so in the past 6 years - and right along with that the cost to insure those things have gone up. Healthcare costs are still crazy. Taxes still take a bite, even bigger now. But hard work and dedication pay off, and luck pays a factor.

 

[Zow]

I'm the only person in my household who feels this way, but I'm very strongly opposed to this kind of thing philosophically. It's not just that it's a waste of money. It's also that that people who have kids in these leagues invest all their travel/vacation time into this stuff too. They could be taking their family someplace fun or educational. Instead they're holed up in the Fairfield Inn on the outskirts of Omaha for some dumbass indoor soccer tournament for middle schoolers, surrounded by a bunch of other families with similarly messed up priorities. And they do this every other weekend seemingly.

It was so much better when we competed against other kids locally instead of trying turn our kids into mini-pros.

What if these type of outings is what is fun for the family? You are spending time as a family with other families that are friends of yours doing something you enjoy. Why is this worse than any other type of vacation? If this is what you enjoy and like to spend time doing, why is this a problem?

The problem comes in with regards to expectations. If you are expecting your kid to get a scholarship or go pro then you are out of whack. That is likely never going to happen. But saying they are wasting vacation money is wrong if the family enjoys these outings. Some of the best memories my kids have are playing games with their friends and hanging out at the pool after games being kids. I would say for many kids this is much more enjoyable than being dragged around to see the biggest ball of yarn out in the middle of nowhere on a "family vacation".

There is a happy medium and unfortunately many don't adhere to this. You can play travel ball without spending $10K a year on it and you can also play it for part of the year to leave time for a mix of vacation types. It's out there if your expectations are leveled and you understand what value you can really get out of it.

Hey, by all means, if your idea of a good time is hanging out by the indoor pool at the Ramada, eating Little Caesars and trading war stories about how your 6th graders whipped up on those 6th graders from Chanhassen, knock yourself out. I found this experience awful.

Wonderful dinner theatre, there.

 

[Sand]

So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more.

My youngest ended up being a band kid. He had a great time with it, as did we.

 

[FairWarning]

She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more

Girl Scouts

And participate in the great Girl Scout Cookie racket using child labor to boost national profit margins of 60% that go straight to the evil Girl Scout Corporate overlords? I think not!!!!!111

That said, anybody got any Thin Mints in their freezers they want to get rid of?

You need two boxes now, the size shrunk a lot.

 

[GordonGekko]

Raising kids sounds swell. So glad I'm out of that life.

Do you pay taxes?

Do you have insurance of any kind?

Do you go out and buy the necessities of life?

Then you are effectively subsidizing the cost of other people's children.

As a matter of principle, I don't mind it. What I do mind is the lack of return on the investment. For as much as I paid into property taxes and for so long, in some areas, they should have the best damn schools in the entire world.

That's why the "It's NOT your kid" argument often gets real shaky real fast. Usually it's a parent angered because they feel they are being judged by another adult on their "parenting"

When I stop paying for your kids, then that's when I'll stop having an opinion on their actions, behavior and total carnage inflicted.

I love my godson. I spent a small fortune to bring him up with real opportunity and I don't begrudge the cost of it. I would certainly give up everything, everything I owned, and even my own life to keep him safe from harm. But I did not enjoy raising him, not one single bit of it.

I was a good parent. But it didn't come natural to me. I remember a spelling bee, some psychotic mother yelled at her daughter in front of everyone for not winning the spelling bee. My godson's nanny had to literally drag me backwards.

The more I was exposed to the average American parent, the more my distaste for them on the average grew.

You're paying for it. Whether you want to or not. But it's not about what you are paying, it's about the return or lack of it on that investment.

 

[massraider]

Raising kids sounds swell. So glad I'm out of that life.

Do you pay taxes?

Do you have insurance of any kind?

Do you go out and buy the necessities of life?

Then you are effectively subsidizing the cost of other people's children.

As a matter of principle, I don't mind it. What I do mind is the lack of return on the investment. For as much as I paid into property taxes and for so long, in some areas, they should have the best damn schools in the entire world.

That's why the "It's NOT your kid" argument often gets real shaky real fast. Usually it's a parent angered because they feel they are being judged by another adult on their "parenting"

When I stop paying for your kids, then that's when I'll stop having an opinion on their actions, behavior and total carnage inflicted.

I love my godson. I spent a small fortune to bring him up with real opportunity and I don't begrudge the cost of it. I would certainly give up everything, everything I owned, and even my own life to keep him safe from harm. But I did not enjoy raising him, not one single bit of it.

I was a good parent. But it didn't come natural to me. I remember a spelling bee, some psychotic mother yelled at her daughter in front of everyone for not winning the spelling bee. My godson's nanny had to literally drag me backwards.

The more I was exposed to the average American parent, the more my distaste for them on the average grew.

You're paying for it. Whether you want to or not. But it's not about what you are paying, it's about the return or lack of it on that investment.

Yeah, your voice matters in how someone raises their kid because you pay taxes.
Fantastic take.

Good luck with that.

 

[fantasy stud]

So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more.

My youngest ended up being a band kid. He had a great time with it, as did we.

I'm living the fun life of a band parent now. I grew up a sports junkie and had my son in t-ball, flag football, soccer, and basketball by age 8. None of it really interest him truly. I'm thankful he found his passion in music.

 

[MAC_32]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

I realize most are doing this b/c they have no choice, but this is the exact thing I'd advise my kids to do to save up and buy a house. Obviously rates are crap these days, but stay at home for 4 years, buy a house and you're paying the same for a mortgage & taxes that you would be for rent while building equity. Get off of the rental hamster wheel.

I get what you're saying, but the most important years of my developmental life were the decisions : consequences phase aged 18-25 when I was on my own.

 

[ghostguy123]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

I realize most are doing this b/c they have no choice, but this is the exact thing I'd advise my kids to do to save up and buy a house. Obviously rates are crap these days, but stay at home for 4 years, buy a house and you're paying the same for a mortgage & taxes that you would be for rent while building equity. Get off of the rental hamster wheel.

I get what you're saying, but the most important years of my developmental life were the decisions : consequences phase aged 18-25 when I was on my own.

Yep. There's more to what your future can look like beyond what simple numbers on your financial spread sheet look like when you are 18.

 

[Terminalxylem]

• Vacations have been done as cheaply as possible. Most of the time we visit extended family and get free places to stay and we only fly if I've racked up enough miles. 2 things we still haven't done but want to do before my son graduates is Washington DC & a snow ski trip. They are both expensive trips, but experiences I desperately want to provide. We have not and never will do Disney. The people that do that are nuts, IMO.

Ski trip doesn't have to be expensive. You could stay at a Holiday Inn.

Even Holiday Inns near decent skiing resorts are expensive. As are lift tickets, rentals and lessons.

Sure, you can get an AirBnB a few miles away, Scotch guard some jeans, rent ill-fitting boots, and try to learn by trial-and-error. But that isn't a particularly fun.

 

[Zow]

So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more.

My youngest ended up being a band kid. He had a great time with it, as did we.

I'm living the fun life of a band parent now. I grew up a sports junkie and had my son in t-ball, flag football, soccer, and basketball by age 8. None of it really interest him truly. I'm thankful he found his passion in music.

Good deal. Hoping for something similar for all my kids. My son loves trucks and mechanical stuff (sorry kid, I'm more clueless about that stuff than most) but we've connected with golf I think. My oldest has significant ADHD and really struggles to keep focused if the activity is too slow (she'd actually be a good gymnast, it's just too slow-paced for her) so she loves this thing called ninja warrior where it's basically just playing on an obstacle course. The youngest is pretty much good at everything but doesn't care so hopefully she finds something and I'm pretty confident she will. Finally, the aforementioned quiet, gym quitter will hopefully find her niche in band or art or something.

 

[Osaurus]

So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more.

My youngest ended up being a band kid. He had a great time with it, as did we.

I'm living the fun life of a band parent now. I grew up a sports junkie and had my son in t-ball, flag football, soccer, and basketball by age 8. None of it really interest him truly. I'm thankful he found his passion in music.

It will pay huge dividends for life imo.

 

[the moops]

she loves this thing called ninja warrior where it's basically just playing on an obstacle course.

If we took a pole in here, it would be 95% who know what ninja warrior is buddy

 

[The Z Machine]

She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more

Girl Scouts

And participate in the great Girl Scout Cookie racket using child labor to boost national profit margins of 60% that go straight to the evil Girl Scout Corporate overlords? I think not!!!!!111

That said, anybody got any Thin Mints in their freezers they want to get rid of?

It is a racket, for sure. But the troop gets like 30% of the rake, so that's pretty decent. Our troop set up outside a brewery on the weekends and made some good sales, clearing like $500/hour. I think they take home ~$3-5k for the troop each year. They use that for horseback riding events, camping, archery, etc. throughout the year.

 

[Zow]

she loves this thing called ninja warrior where it's basically just playing on an obstacle course.

If we took a pole in here, it would be 95% who know what ninja warrior is buddy

I honestly didn't know until I went to watch. I mean, I had a general idea but didn't know it was a thing.

 

[General Malaise]

She was picked for the team because she's a good listener and can follow instructions. So, we're hoping to find an activity where she can excel and enjoy it a bit more

Girl Scouts

And participate in the great Girl Scout Cookie racket using child labor to boost national profit margins of 60% that go straight to the evil Girl Scout Corporate overlords? I think not!!!!!111

That said, anybody got any Thin Mints in their freezers they want to get rid of?

It is a racket, for sure. But the troop gets like 30% of the rake, so that's pretty decent. Our troop set up outside a brewery on the weekends and made some good sales, clearing like $500/hour. I think they take home ~$3-5k for the troop each year. They use that for horseback riding events, camping, archery, etc. throughout the year.

That's cool, I do think there's some lessons to be learned from hawking these things, but the cynic in me just sees a loophole in child labor laws and I'd be surprised if the rake is 30% for local troops. That's a solid number, but I'm skeptical it's that much. Still, good life lessons.

 

[NutterButter]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

I realize most are doing this b/c they have no choice, but this is the exact thing I'd advise my kids to do to save up and buy a house. Obviously rates are crap these days, but stay at home for 4 years, buy a house and you're paying the same for a mortgage & taxes that you would be for rent while building equity. Get off of the rental hamster wheel.

I get what you're saying, but the most important years of my developmental life were the decisions : consequences phase aged 18-25 when I was on my own.

I feel ya. I was that guy after college. I've become a huge believe in moderation and I think there's room to learn from life choices during that pre-family stage while at the same time taking advantage of an opportunity to really set yourself well financially for the rest of your life. I'm making a similar proposition to my kids for college (oldest will be choosing soon). The money will be there for the most expensive school, but if she chooses a less expensive option, a good chunk of that money saved can be used to help her in other ways: grad school, house, investments, wedding, etc. In the end, these are all their choices to make. Just giving them options.

 

[belljr]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

I realize most are doing this b/c they have no choice, but this is the exact thing I'd advise my kids to do to save up and buy a house. Obviously rates are crap these days, but stay at home for 4 years, buy a house and you're paying the same for a mortgage & taxes that you would be for rent while building equity. Get off of the rental hamster wheel.

I get what you're saying, but the most important years of my developmental life were the decisions : consequences phase aged 18-25 when I was on my own.

I feel ya. I was that guy after college. I've become a huge believe in moderation and I think there's room to learn from life choices during that pre-family stage while at the same time taking advantage of an opportunity to really set yourself well financially for the rest of your life. I'm making a similar proposition to my kids for college (oldest will be choosing soon). The money will be there for the most expensive school, but if she chooses a less expensive option, a good chunk of that money saved can be used to help her in other ways: grad school, house, investments, wedding, etc. In the end, these are all their choices to make. Just giving them options.

My son lived on his own during college - roommates in an apartment - so he already had that experience.

He moved back home after college - we didnt charge him anything but we asked he contribute to the food bill. We gave him a timetable of 2 years and then reevaluate - he end up getting engaged and bought a house with his girlfriend so it all worked out (minus the getting engaged part, if you know what I mean ) lol

 

[NutterButter]

Gets better I saw a report today that 50% (that is correct 50%) of all children under the age of 30 are living back in their parent's home. This is the highest percentage of adult children living at at home in our history since the Great Depression. How the hell can old, middle aged, young, people with and without children even get by anymore. I have a patient whose wife is a penny pincher and they are both in their 80s. They state that the same groceries this year are 300 dollars more a month than last year. WoW!

https://www.kxan.com/news/more-boomerang-kids-moving-back-in-with-their-parents/

I realize most are doing this b/c they have no choice, but this is the exact thing I'd advise my kids to do to save up and buy a house. Obviously rates are crap these days, but stay at home for 4 years, buy a house and you're paying the same for a mortgage & taxes that you would be for rent while building equity. Get off of the rental hamster wheel.

I get what you're saying, but the most important years of my developmental life were the decisions : consequences phase aged 18-25 when I was on my own.

I feel ya. I was that guy after college. I've become a huge believe in moderation and I think there's room to learn from life choices during that pre-family stage while at the same time taking advantage of an opportunity to really set yourself well financially for the rest of your life. I'm making a similar proposition to my kids for college (oldest will be choosing soon). The money will be there for the most expensive school, but if she chooses a less expensive option, a good chunk of that money saved can be used to help her in other ways: grad school, house, investments, wedding, etc. In the end, these are all their choices to make. Just giving them options.

My son lived on his own during college - roommates in an apartment - so he already had that experience.

He moved back home after college - we didnt charge him anything but we asked he contribute to the food bill. We gave him a timetable of 2 years and then reevaluate - he end up getting engaged and bought a house with his girlfriend so it all worked out (minus the getting engaged part, if you know what I mean ) lol

So did I so I think part of that experience Mac was referring to is already being had through college but that might be debatable depending on a person's point of view. Then there's the indeterminate period after moving out before really settling down. So its really not a one or the other choice as far as I'm concerned, but its not a decision I'm even making.