I was recently told that having kids is overrated and that a great many people regret having them, but for obvious reasons, very, very few parents would ever admit that. Any parents want to chime in on this?
It's probably difficult to understand but it's possible to really care about your kids while at the same time, given the opportunity to do it all over again, to take a pass on the experience. I know that's awkwardly stated.
I'll weigh in: The whole thing is incredibly complicated to explain. I have come to accept that having children, and "raising them" at a level that I believe is minimally necessary, is a very very very difficult, stressful, and thankless job. When young, our children are fun and loving and sweet, but also an incredible burden to time, finances, etc. And when they get older, they will -- if they are healthy -- rebel, pull away, and quite possibly disagree with my fundamental core values. The teenage years are especially thankless. In order to grow, they have to separate, they move on and leave you. And you are left with years of sacrifice, work, frustration, drama, trauma, with nothing to show for it in the end, other than the hope that your child will return the favor and wipe your a.ss for you when you are old and feeble. But we give to them even if we know they will leave and never come back, because that is what drives us, compels us, as parents.I would lay down my life for my child, literally. I don't give him "whatever he wants," obviously, because that only hurts him in the end. But I give him what I think he needs. Love, patience, attention, the core of my being. I love my children with an intensity that is . . . unexplainable.
Would I change anything about having children? Of course not. But it is like with Neo taking the blue and red pill: If you take the pill and have children, your life will instantly become more difficult, both in the short run and the long run. Ultimately, it will be more difficult than not taking the pill, and quite possibly will cause you more stress, fatigue, sadness, heartache, than it causes happiness. But here's the kick in the balls: Once you take the pill,
the core of your being will be changed that you can't imagine life before taking it, and you would NEVER trade your kids or regret your decision.
Or something.