How my Thursday morning started (1 Viewer)

[Henry Ford]

True story - my wife once almost got arrested for threatening to kill a woman in a bar. She explained to me later that the woman was offering - right in front of my wife - to perform a sexual act on me in the bathroom.

I thought she was telling me I had something in my teeth.

Yeah. I could see a successful sitcom using us as the main characters.

Like Big Bang Theory but with all Sheldons.

Except none of them know anything about science.

And they don't know any hot chicks.

False. Hot chicks flock to guys like me and Sheik because they think we are aloof when we are actually just clueless.

You win again, Ford.

I'm not sure it's winning if I never saw the vast majority of these hot chicks naked. And many of them thought I was gay.

 

[Koya]

Pretty sure every generation in the history of humanity has complained about the generation that comes after them for whatever reason. This seems no different.

I'm of the generation in question... we're a bunch of jagoffs.

Im of the generation before... we all are.

 

[Henry Ford]

Pretty sure every generation in the history of humanity has complained about the generation that comes after them for whatever reason. This seems no different.

I'm of the generation in question... we're a bunch of jagoffs.

Im of the generation before... we all are.

Generation X is rad.

 

[NCCommish]

I'm technically a boomer. We rock if the media is to be believed. So get off my lawn.

 

[Henry Ford]

Sheik - did you go into work today? Did you wear a doorman's uniform?

 

[Henry Ford]

I think you should go in Monday dressed as a doorman in blackface.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Sheik - did you go into work today? Did you wear a doorman's uniform?

I am at work. Office is pretty empty. I think at lunch I may go out to the door and ask anyone coming in for ID.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I think you should go in Monday dressed as a doorman in blackface.

I'm sure some PC person would probably end up finding that offensive somehow.

 

[Henry Ford]

Or just follow her around all day and do things for her. Push the elevator button. Pour her coffee. Sharpen her pencil.

 

[Joe T]

Sheik - did you go into work today? Did you wear a doorman's uniform?

I am at work. Office is pretty empty. I think at lunch I may go out to the door and ask anyone coming in for ID.

I'm hoping this thread somehow becomes Sheik's Thread About Nothing.

 

[Henry Ford]

Sheik - did you go into work today? Did you wear a doorman's uniform?

I am at work. Office is pretty empty. I think at lunch I may go out to the door and ask anyone coming in for ID.

I'm hoping this thread somehow becomes Sheik's Thread About Nothing.

Yes. This needs to happen.

 

[Joe T]

Have you guys tried those Munchies Peanut Butter Crackers?

They have to be the best peanut butter crackers going. The problem is I can only find them in vending machines. They haven't really penetrated the grocery stores yet. Maybe I should look and see if Amazon has them so that I can order them in bulk.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Or just follow her around all day and do things for her. Push the elevator button. Pour her coffee. Sharpen her pencil.

This would be awesome. Go over the top in offering to do things for her.

 

[Henry Ford]

"Heya, veep! Oh, no, baby, you shouldn't have to open the microwave door. Let me do that for you."

 

[Andy Dufresne]

"Heya, veep! Oh, no, baby, you shouldn't have to open the microwave door. Let me do that for you."

"Hey, I'm about to head out for the day. Should I pull your car around for you before I go? Maybe get it washed for you?"

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Not sure why but this story reminded me of this bit:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rwPg2oarG_c

 

[TheIronSheik]

Or just follow her around all day and do things for her. Push the elevator button. Pour her coffee. Sharpen her pencil.

This would be awesome. Go over the top in offering to do things for her.

I'll crouch in the corner of her office like a ball boy at the US Open waiting for her to need something.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Have you guys tried those Munchies Peanut Butter Crackers?

They have to be the best peanut butter crackers going. The problem is I can only find them in vending machines. They haven't really penetrated the grocery stores yet. Maybe I should look and see if Amazon has them so that I can order them in bulk.

I've never heard of these. I eat a packet of Target store brand peanut butter crackers everyday for lunch.

 

[Joe T]

 

[D-Day]

"Heya, veep! Oh, no, baby, you shouldn't have to open the microwave door. Let me do that for you."

"Yo Veep! Let me take some of the workload off of your bra, and cup your breast with my hands."

 

[glumpy]

So, anyway, that's how I met one of our new vice presidents this morning.

Nice Intro!

 

[Henry Ford]

Or just follow her around all day and do things for her. Push the elevator button. Pour her coffee. Sharpen her pencil.

This would be awesome. Go over the top in offering to do things for her.

I'll crouch in the corner of her office like a ball boy at the US Open waiting for her to need something.

Perfect. And when she starts ignoring you, just start stealing things from her desk right in front of her. Run across and grab the pen out of her hand. Then her stapler. If you can get her computer monitor without slowing down, bonus points.

 

[fatness]

Pretty sure every generation in the history of humanity has complained about the generation that comes after them for whatever reason. This seems no different.

You're right, it doesn't. But you have to admit it's fun to read all the reasons people think "this one is different, really".

 

[fatness]

True story - my wife once almost got arrested for threatening to kill a woman in a bar. She explained to me later that the woman was offering - right in front of my wife - to perform a sexual act on me in the bathroom.

I thought she was telling me I had something in my teeth.

Yeah. I could see a successful sitcom using us as the main characters.

Yep.

 

[Henry Ford]

True story - my wife once almost got arrested for threatening to kill a woman in a bar. She explained to me later that the woman was offering - right in front of my wife - to perform a sexual act on me in the bathroom.

I thought she was telling me I had something in my teeth.

Yeah. I could see a successful sitcom using us as the main characters.

Yep.

Exactly the opposite. They think everyone is interested. We think everyone wants to chat and go home.