I often make perfectly appropriate remarks into inappropriate remarks (1 Viewer)

[Nathan R. Jessep]

My juvenile brain has a knack for taking things I hear which are perfectly normal and making something inappropriate out of it. Sources of these remarks can be from nearly anything; tv, radio, written materials, and even conversations (spoken or overheard).

I will share these random things here. Fellow juvenile humorists, feel free to add your own.

This morning on the radio:

Can you tell your story and finish in under two minutes??

 

[jon_mx]

In college I was with the parents of a girl, and they commented that she was not getting enough sleep and I said, "I tried to get her in bed earlier."........

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Just heard a radio spot for a local muffler shop that said their slogan was "No muff's too tough"

 

[ShaHBucks]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_homo

 

[lakerstan]

Welcome to being a guy. Enjoy the ride.

 

[Big Cat]

You & Johnnycakes. The Asperger twins.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_homo

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Welcome to being a guy. Enjoy the ride.

this is not a new phenomenon... just documenting some randomness

 

[McGarnicle]

My wife and I both do it. She probably says "that's what she said" more than I do.

 

[dozer]

Tickle your ### with a feather. Excuse me, I mean, its particularly nasty weather.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I was at a job interview one time and the guy was asking me about my current job. He said, "Explain to me your duties." I actually laughed out loud and had to fight back tears. He, on the other hand, did not laugh. I did not get the job.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I was at a job interview one time and the guy was asking me about my current job. He said, "Explain to me your duties." I actually laughed out loud and had to fight back tears. He, on the other hand, did not laugh. I did not get the job.

He just wanted to know if you were the type to spend half of your working day on the crapper. The fact that you didn't get the job means he knew the answer.

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

I was at a job interview one time and the guy was asking me about my current job. He said, "Explain to me your duties." I actually laughed out loud and had to fight back tears. He, on the other hand, did not laugh. I did not get the job.

He just wanted to know if you were the type to spend half of your working day on the crapper. The fact that you didn't get the job means he knew the answer.

maybe he knew of Sheik's infamous bathroom escapades

 

[playin4beer]

This time of year, especially with all the snow we've gotten so far, "plowing" is the hot button term...

 

[TheIronSheik]

I was at a job interview one time and the guy was asking me about my current job. He said, "Explain to me your duties." I actually laughed out loud and had to fight back tears. He, on the other hand, did not laugh. I did not get the job.

He just wanted to know if you were the type to spend half of your working day on the crapper. The fact that you didn't get the job means he knew the answer.

maybe he knew of Sheik's infamous bathroom escapades

I feel like if he knew, I would have been hired.

 

[chet]

I was talking to a beautician and after she told me she specializes in facials, I said, "I've never had one but my wife's had several."

 

[T Bell]

...in bed.

 

[Hooper31]

Congrats on being a human.

 

[ShaHBucks]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_homo

Maybe Riley can explain http://youtu.be/G7mwGi7qP18

 

[Despyzer]

My wife and I both do it.

 

[McGarnicle]

Today I heard a woman say she ate Five Guys for lunch.

 

[flysack]

Today I heard a woman say she ate Five Guys for lunch.

Wrong thread.

 

[IC FBGCav]

I was talking to a beautician and after she told me she specializes in facials, I said, "I've never had one but my wife's had several."

PESCI?