If Florida Man was a superhero.... (1 Viewer)

[Homer J Simpson]

What would his power be?

i mean, throwing an alligator into a Wendy's drive-thru window is great and all, but really what is his super power?

 

[psychobillies]

He can take a lump of coal and squeeze it hard enough to turn it into bath salts.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Able to grow a mullet in a single week.

Able to move broken appliances into his front yard without a dolly.

Could convert an Armani suit into a wife beater t-shirt and a pair of jorts using only the leatherman tool on his belt, and in under one minute.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I think he would ride an alligator the way John Wayne rode a horse. 

He shoots sunshine rays from his wrists. 

Can create a Florida fresh fish dinner in under 5 minutes. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

A day without Florida Man would be a day without sunshine.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

The ability to drunkenly start threads at 3am and completely forget it happened. 

I AM FLORIDA MAN!

 

[Ilov80s]

The ability to be high on meth without actually having to do meth. Pisses Jim Beam. Can knock up a bleach blonde girl with fake boobs just by smacking her. Is a decent tattoo artist. 

 

[Christo]

A day without Florida Man would be a day without sunshine.

From the same distance, of course.