If your wife cheated? (1 Viewer)

[Paulymaggs]

Honest question - she cheated and you split, are marital assets still split down the middle?

My buddy cheated, they split, and he got taken to the cleaners (went from 5 bedroom house to apartment).  Just curious if the financial aspect of the divorce would have been different in the law's eyes if it was her who strayed.

There is almost no circumstance where the woman doesnt come out ahead.

 

[Quez]

Probably reconcile but push to start swinging.  Divorces are nasty.  Both parties can easily be wiped out financially.

 

[AAABatteries]

Probably reconcile but push to start swinging.  Divorces are nasty.  Both parties can easily be wiped out financially.

Not sold on swinging but I'd wait until the kids were out of the house before I'd divorce her if it was a one-time thing.  Affair means it's over immediately.

 

[Bull Dozier]

You're looking to far into it. Yes, every woman has a past. In the scanerio were discussing that past was like a day ago. Pretty big difference now right? 

I disagree that the timing matters.  I think other factors need to be considered, and play a larger part than "imagining the look on her face."

 

[massraider]

I disagree that the timing matters.  I think other factors need to be considered, and play a larger part than "imagining the look on her face."

Guys being insecure about their own sexual prowess/size of their equipment.  I'm not joking.  

Insecurity is a problem in a lot of relationships. 

 

[Hedgehog]

wow - little surprised with the results of the polls....I figured no kids and/or long affair and guys would bail....but a one time slip up?  Damn....Ive been with my wife for 20+ yrs and I couldnt throw away so many great times and memories over one slip up....I'd even the score and we'd move on.  Long term affair or multiple offenses is another story in my mind......but i can see one mulligan is 20+ yrs if there was real honesty and discussion...plus did I mention a free pass for me too?  

 

[FUBAR]

wow - little surprised with the results of the polls....I figured no kids and/or long affair and guys would bail....but a one time slip up?  Damn....Ive been with my wife for 20+ yrs and I couldnt throw away so many great times and memories over one slip up....I'd even the score and we'd move on.  Long term affair or multiple offenses is another story in my mind......but i can see one mulligan is 20+ yrs if there was real honesty and discussion...plus did I mention a free pass for me too?  

while that's huge, I don't know how I'd feel about her "honesty" after breaking her vows and our promises to each other.

 

[Bull Dozier]

Guys being insecure about their own sexual prowess/size of their equipment.  I'm not joking.  

Insecurity is a problem in a lot of relationships. 

Agree 100%.

 

[Hedgehog]

while that's huge, I don't know how I'd feel about her "honesty" after breaking her vows and our promises to each other.

Im talking about if she comes to you about it and fesses up rather than being outed or discovered.  Thats a big factor....

Personally Im not the most religious guy so maybe thats a factor in the poll....I understand the "vows and promises" of marriage but I also understand what it is to be human....I have a pretty good marriage and im happy.  I personally am not going to walk away from that over a one time slip up and I'm pretty sure she wouldnt either.....as I said if the circumstances are much worse (long term lies, deceit, hiding stuff) then I would feel differently.  

 

[Anarchy99]

If this is an "in general" type question, it left out what the husband is doing. I know couples where both parties had affairs. Some broke up. Some stayed together. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. 

I caught my ex- with a full fledged, long-time boyfriend (in addition to more garden variety hook ups). She wanted to reconcile - provided she could still have strange bedfellows. I passed. Again, different strokes for different folks. 

 

[Bigboy10182000]

Sad part about this, for me it is more of a trust issue than someone else stuck it in my wife issue.   Once the trust is broken, I could not get past it even if I wanted to.  Can't have someone making life decision for me if I don't trust them.

And every time you looked at her you'd imagine her making those faces with someone else.  I cant handle thinking about it let alone had it actually happened.  Divorce and possible murder should have been a voting option

I disagree that the timing matters.  I think other factors need to be considered, and play a larger part than "imagining the look on her face."

I replied to what Uncle Jerry said...as you can see the "timing" wasn't even discussed.  It was more centered around trust....that would be above all, obviously.

 

[FUBAR]

Im talking about if she comes to you about it and fesses up rather than being outed or discovered.  Thats a big factor....

Personally Im not the most religious guy so maybe thats a factor in the poll....I understand the "vows and promises" of marriage but I also understand what it is to be human....I have a pretty good marriage and im happy.  I personally am not going to walk away from that over a one time slip up and I'm pretty sure she wouldnt either.....as I said if the circumstances are much worse (long term lies, deceit, hiding stuff) then I would feel differently.  

that just might be where our perspectives differ.  To me, sleeping with another person one time isn't about a single mistake, it's an indication of values and that she is not the woman I thought she was (and know she is).  It's not like she sneezed and a penis went inside her "oops!"

 

[James Daulton]

Buh Bye.

 

[Hedgehog]

that just might be where our perspectives differ.  To me, sleeping with another person one time isn't about a single mistake, it's an indication of values and that she is not the woman I thought she was (and know she is).  It's not like she sneezed and a penis went inside her "oops!"

lol - that would be some sneeze!  

My point is everyone is human and can have a lapse of judgment.....I personally wouldnt want to walk away from a good situation over 1 bad decision.  I dont think one's values and character that I have known for over 20 yrs are wiped out over one lapse of judgment.....I certainly wouldnt want my life to be judged on my worst mistake.  However, that is just me.  

 

[McGarnicle]

I'm guessing all of these answers have more to do with current marital satisfaction, hotness of current wife, kid situation, and prospects of finding an equally hot partner in the future, than things like values, trust, etc.

 

[dfsguy]

Wheres the option of "your wife cheated so you're voting anyone but Trump"

 

[GROOT]

Girls that cheat...will do it again. It's A fact. All they need is some one to feel and understand their emotional struggles....then the panties come off again,

 

[top dog]

Really is a tough thing.. I've been married a long time.  Getting close to 20 years.  Early in the marriage I think I would have divorced without even thinking.  Now, it would dictate on the situation.  One time thing?  Reconcile.  Long term affair?  I think I'd "like" to reconcile, but I think that would be so hard to recover from.  

Much like someone said earlier, it's not the sex that would bother me, it would be the trust.  

 

[FUBAR]

I'm guessing all of these answers have more to do with current marital satisfaction, hotness of current wife, kid situation, and prospects of finding an equally hot partner in the future, than things like values, trust, etc.

in which way?

current marital satisfaction, hotness of current wife, kid situation, and prospects of finding an equally hot partner in the future - very happy, 4 kids, not to sound like an ###, but I have very little worry about finding a "hot" partner in the future.  Probably not as good a person as current wife is, but I'd find a physically attractive woman. 

The main reason I'd probably divorce is that I did not marry her because of her hotness (yeah, maybe we starting dating for that reason) but because of our shared values, her qualities as a person and mother, etc.  An affair would completely change my perception of her, which would end the relationship.

 

[Bull Dozier]

I replied to what Uncle Jerry said...as you can see the "timing" wasn't even discussed.  It was more centered around trust....that would be above all, obviously.

I understand that.  I was just sharing my opinion that what you believe is above all doesn't tell the whole story.

Just have to agree to disagree here I guess.