I'm an uncle! Oh shizz, what do I do now? (1 Viewer)

[TripItUp]

So my sister had my first niece today.

My primary question is, what do uncle duties include?

 

[Bonfire]

Fix America

 

[loser]

Giving it back is the best part.

 

[FUBAR]

First beer

teach her to ride a 4 wheeler

Scare her dates

 

[ChiefD]

Congrats!

You are now responsible for teaching the kid the following:

armpit farts

cussing

burping the alphabet

lighting fireworks and running away

saying no to boys

gang signals

how to sneak out of the house

driving

 

[Scoresman]

So my sister had my first niece today.

My primary question is, what do uncle duties include?

I'm an uncle to three or four toddlers. Your primary job is to teach them things their parents don't want them to know. Like how to make fart noises with their hands in their armpits, video games, stuff like that.

If the kid's parents arent jealous because they end up ignored in favor of you whenever you're around, you're not doing it right.

 

[Galileo]

I spend quite a bit of time teaching my nieces and nephews how to critically think and debunk all the bull#### that my sister posts on facebook

 

[RUSF18]

Nine nieces and one nephew over here. You have no duties except having fun with the kid.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

I had an uncle on a farm that always impressed me by giving each of us one of these every time we visited him.

http://www.coinfacts.com/silver_dollars/eisenhower_dollars/1978s_ike_dollar_obv.jpg

 

[shadyridr]

Sleep with her mother

 

[Mookie]

Give her a drum set on her second birthday.

 

[rockaction]

Save pictures, visit as much as you can. This will fly by and even if you're far away and not given to that sort of familial stuff, you'll get nostalgic by the time they get even a slight bit older.

And watch out. They'll both be (or seem) taller and smarter than you by the age of fourteen. Get used to it. And ask them for fashion advice. They'll know way more than you.

 

[Hu-Tang Clan]

Give her a drum set on her second birthday.

Yes. All gifts should make a lot of noise. I brought back a mini vuvuzela from South Africa World Cup for my 3 year nephew in 2010. My brother was not impressed. Last year I brought back some mini bongos and whistles form the Brazil World Cup.

 

[Buttonhook]

Get the kid an aunt... and have fun choosing the right one.