Is there a healthy way to instill "mental toughness" in childr (1 Viewer)

[The Dude]

Looking back on my own children I think maybe I could have taught "mental toughness" better. Not sure how I would have done it though. And maybe it's a maturity issue and not toughness.

By mental toughness I am referring primarily to perseverance and diligence.

Any thoughts?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Punch them in the face a lot.

 

[saintfool]

run laps?

 

[Johnny Rock]

Allow them to fail and encourage trying their best and working hard. If you simply solve all their problems for them because it's "easier" than parenting, then it's harder for them to think for themselves when they're older.

 

[pecorino]

boy scouts or girl scouts. join a church that encourages fasting and service to others. have them work in the yard, etc.

 

[bushdocda]

Help encourage a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

 

[Ilov80s]

Give them work, assignments, tasks that are a challenge, but within capability. Make work fun, model toughness and hardwork with a smile. Give them meaningful rewards for success and always praise them for their effort, not their ability. The last part is key. It determines what the kid sees as the reason for their accomplishments: talent vs effort.

I also like 3 Ps (from coaching, but it translates): Critique the play, not the player. Focus on the present, not the past. Be positive.

 

[T Bell]

See also, this.

Growth Mindset website (mentioned in the TED talk)

 

[Ignoramus]

Playing football.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Has anyone said "punch them in the face a lot" yet?

 

[17seconds]

Has anyone said "punch them in the face a lot" yet?

I was going to say 2x4 to the face but that works too

 

[17seconds]

Study the way of the Cobra Kai

 

[The General]

Force them to read the entire "Missing Malaysian Jet" thread.

 

[DiStefano]

You don't work, you don't eat.

 

[Keerock]

100% the best way is by example

 

[Ilov80s]

100% the best way is by example

Cracks me up when I hear some of my lazy coworkers complain about how lazy their kids are or how lazy their students are in class. Some people are oblivious to themselves.

 

[johnnycakes]

Lots of spankings.

 

[Ray Karpis]

Athletics has been a good opportunity for my boys to develop mental toughness. My oldest (9) likes to feel sorry for himself a little when he doesn't play up to his ability. We've had a lot of conversations about gritting your teeth and fighting through it. Not all kids will become mentally tough because they play sports, but it certainly gives them the opportunity to develop it.

Agree that playing football forces it. You get drilled by a bigger kid a few times, you either learn to deal with it and fight back or you curl up in a ball and cry.

 

[Rick James]

don't be so protective and allow them to experience failure

 

[Guest]

Mind games. Lots and lots of mind games.

When they go to bed, turn all the clocks ahead 10 hours. Wake them up yelling, "OMG, you're going to be late for school!" Send them out the door to the bus stop. Then wait to have a talk about the lesson they just learned. Or just go back to bed.

 

[E Street Brat]

Trophies, lots of trophies.

 

[DiStefano]

Trophies, lots of trophies.

Right. Even for finishing last. That way, they know they will get rewarded for no effort, and always know that they are special.

 

[T Bell]

Trophies, lots of trophies.

Right. Even for finishing last. That way, they know they will get rewarded for no effort, and always know that they are special.

Yes, that was the joke.

 

[Ignoramus]

Athletics has been a good opportunity for my boys to develop mental toughness. My oldest (9) likes to feel sorry for himself a little when he doesn't play up to his ability. We've had a lot of conversations about gritting your teeth and fighting through it. Not all kids will become mentally tough because they play sports, but it certainly gives them the opportunity to develop it.

Agree that playing football forces it. You get drilled by a bigger kid a few times, you either learn to deal with it and fight back or you curl up in a ball and cry.

Oh I was talking about playing football on the PS3. My little brother trounces me like 63-7 every time. It has really toughened me up and now I can tell him "No, I don't want to play Madden right now."

 

[Jayrod]

Waterboarding

 

[Papa Georgio]

Allow them to fail and encourage trying their best and working hard. If you simply solve all their problems for them because it's "easier" than parenting, then it's harder for them to think for themselves when they're older.

My wife drives me nuts if something isn't easy she quits. She was trained well by her mother. Her mom would do everything for her.

This might sound wrong but don't let "just good enough" be good enough. Their best might not be the greatest but it should be expected.

Allow them to face the music. I cringe when I hear a friend say something like, "I'm not happy with Sally's grade, I guess I am going to have to go up there and be a mom." Seldom is someone out to get your kid, if they are failing it's on them. Be a mom and bust that ###. If they get in trouble don't bail them out, let them know actions have consequences. I see parents deprive their children of so many learning moments.

 

[E Street Brat]

Ritalin

 

[Eminence]

Put a carrot in front of them. Make the carrot progressively harder to reach, boom.

 

[msudaisy26]

Put a carrot in front of them. Make the carrot progressively harder to reach, boom.

Because it worked so well for you?

 

[tommyboy]

Looking back on my own children I think maybe I could have taught "mental toughness" better. Not sure how I would have done it though. And maybe it's a maturity issue and not toughness.

By mental toughness I am referring primarily to perseverance and diligence.

Any thoughts?

allow them to fail. Then use the failure as a teaching moment