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Jim Tomsula: He looks like...New targets (1 Viewer)

Ministry of Pain

Ministry of Pain

Footballguy
Mostly inspired by Dan LeBatard but there are some really funny ones.

-He looks like the General Manager of a regional bologna distributor

-He looks like the first guy your mom dates after the divorce

-He looks like the guy in the movie with one line that says "Don't go that way" and then the car ends up plowing into the wall.

-He looks like the manager of a struggling Little Caesar's franchise

-He looks like the deputy who is asked to turn in his badge and gun.

-He looks like the guy who asks the guy to turn in his badge and gun.

There are a bunch.

Far more than the number of coaches shown the door after one season.

York: "You're fired"

Tomsula: "I was the head coach?" "I started Blaine Gabbert?!"

 
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I wont disparage the guy since I look far worse than he does. However, when I first saw him, the first thing I thought was that he did not look like the head coach of an NFL team

 
Ministry of Pain said:
Mostly inspired by Dan LeBatard but there are some really funny ones.

-He looks like the General Manager of a regional bologna distributor

-He looks like the first guy your mom dates after the divorce

-He looks like the guy in the movie with one line that says "Don't go that way" and then the car ends up plowing into the wall.

-He looks like the manager of a struggling Little Caesar's franchise

-He looks like the deputy who is asked to turn in his badge and gun.

-He looks like the guy who asks the guy to turn in his badge and gun.

There are a bunch.

Far more than the number of coaches shown the door after one season.

York: "You're fired"

Tomsula: "I was the head coach?" "I started Blaine Gabbert?!"
Click to expand...
Are you going to post those too?

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Ministry of Pain said:
Mostly inspired by Dan LeBatard but there are some really funny ones.

-He looks like the General Manager of a regional bologna distributor

-He looks like the first guy your mom dates after the divorce

-He looks like the guy in the movie with one line that says "Don't go that way" and then the car ends up plowing into the wall.

-He looks like the manager of a struggling Little Caesar's franchise

-He looks like the deputy who is asked to turn in his badge and gun.

-He looks like the guy who asks the guy to turn in his badge and gun.

There are a bunch.

Far more than the number of coaches shown the door after one season.

York: "You're fired"

Tomsula: "I was the head coach?" "I started Blaine Gabbert?!"
Click to expand...
Are you going to post those too?
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
MoP, you steal a list from LeBatard and then you go and leave out the two best ones ...

"Jim Tomsula looks like the 1980 Olympics bronze medal winner in the shotput."

"Jim Tomsula looks like the guy riding the wave of water after his above-ground swimming pool collapses in America's Funniest Home Videos."

My personal contribution: Jim Tomsula looks like the guy who'll give you DOUBLE BLUE BOOK VALUE ON YOUR TRADE! in a local car dealer commercial.

 
I think he looks like a guy who would own Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn during the regular season but fail to deliver when the playoffs are on the line.

 
AcerFC said:
I wont disparage the guy since I look far worse than he does. However, when I first saw him, the first thing I thought was that he did not look like the head coach of an NFL team
Click to expand...
Sure didn't speak like one. Worst first press conference ever.

 
E-Z Glider said:
Ministry of Pain said:
-He looks like the first guy your mom dates after the divorce
Click to expand...
I lol'd at this one, but mainly because he really does.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

This is why I love LeBatard besides the fact he is Mr Miami down here. The humor is middle school level but I think these Tomsula looks like jokes are some of the funniest. He does this with a lot of sports and real life celebrities but the Tomsula jokes obviously took on a life of their own because he is so many of these characters we describe. The guy should have been a Hollywood extra in films and commercials, he would have cleaned up. And I'm sorry but he just doesn't look the part of NFL head coach and you kind of wonder who is above him in the SF organization and thought he was the right hire to replace Harbaugh. Looks like he was a sacrificial lamb at this point.

 
Mr. Irrelevant said:
MoP, you steal a list from LeBatard and then you go and leave out the two best ones ...

"Jim Tomsula looks like the 1980 Olympics bronze medal winner in the shotput."

"Jim Tomsula looks like the guy riding the wave of water after his above-ground swimming pool collapses in America's Funniest Home Videos."

My personal contribution: Jim Tomsula looks like the guy who'll give you DOUBLE BLUE BOOK VALUE ON YOUR TRADE! in a local car dealer commercial.
Click to expand...
Wanted to leave a little meat on the bone

 
mr fancypants said:
belljr said:
Pretty sure it's Ron Jeremy
Click to expand...
+50lbs
Click to expand...
Have you seen Ron Jeremy much in the last 20 years? There's a reason they started calling him fat.

I believe he had open heart surgery or something close to that about a year or two ago and lost a lot of weight mostly due to the surgery. He was a good +100 lbs over when he started in the business I would say prior to the surgery.

Heart aneurysm I am reading...

 
Jim Tomsula in name only sounds like a monster that a creole grandmother comes up with to keep kids quiet.

"Like you keep quiet or that JimTomsula creature is coming out of the swamp you kids!"

 
I havent been able to follow football as closely as im used to the last couple seasons. Can anyone explain what led to harbaugh leaving and the niners firing this butthead?

 
Mors Venit said:
I havent been able to follow football as closely as im used to the last couple seasons. Can anyone explain what led to harbaugh leaving and the niners firing this butthead?
Click to expand...
Harbaugh and the Niners front office did not get along, I think his name is York. Actually that's the owner and I'm not sure what his relationship with Harbaugh but if he truly valued him he would have fought like hell to keep him.

But Jimbo seems to wear out his welcome or what I think happened is he simply calls people on the carpet when they frack it up. People in the FO do not want to be scolded by the coach but Harbaugh strikes me as a personality where despite his wonderful results for whatever reason the ownership and front office did not feel the results were worth his ego or ways. I think Harbaugh wants everyone in the room to kiss his blank because he gets results. And if you don't he can always take his talents elsewhere. This guy has a job the rest of his life, probably Michigan but if he quit there tomorrow and wanted to return to the NFL, most teams would roll out the red carpet and send a private jet to pick him up.

 
Ministry of Pain said:
:lmao: Just saw the video of him farting while looking right into the reporters :lmao:
Click to expand...
The next day the 49ers PR department blamed it on a beat writer in the front row. Actually named the dog in question.

I was going to link to his introduction presser but I didn't want it to seem like that was a one-off, bad day thing. His rambling, stream of consciousness mumblings & musings continued throughout the season. Look up any post game or weekly press conference in YouTube, and you will find yourself asking two questions. First comes "Did he just say that?" (Alternate: What did he just say?) Second you'll wonder if this man needs medical treatment.

Which of course begs the question...who the #### made this hire? This guy transitioned from the regime that preceded Harbough. They had eight years to observe him. He was a positional coach. I can't even...

 
Ministry of Pain said:
mr fancypants said:
belljr said:
Pretty sure it's Ron Jeremy
Click to expand...
+50lbs
Click to expand...
Have you seen Ron Jeremy much in the last 20 years? There's a reason they started calling him fat.

I believe he had open heart surgery or something close to that about a year or two ago and lost a lot of weight mostly due to the surgery. He was a good +100 lbs over when he started in the business I would say prior to the surgery.

Heart aneurysm I am reading...
Click to expand...
I saw Ron Jeremy in line at the movies like 10 years ago. He was a fat little turd and I felt like saying something funny but I was afraid I'd get pistol-whipped from about 10 yards out. :(

 
BobbyLayne said:
Ministry of Pain said:
:lmao: Just saw the video of him farting while looking right into the reporters :lmao:
Click to expand...
The next day the 49ers PR department blamed it on a beat writer in the front row. Actually named the dog in question.

I was going to link to his introduction presser but I didn't want it to seem like that was a one-off, bad day thing. His rambling, stream of consciousness mumblings & musings continued throughout the season. Look up any post game or weekly press conference in YouTube, and you will find yourself asking two questions. First comes "Did he just say that?" (Alternate: What did he just say?) Second you'll wonder if this man needs medical treatment.

Which of course begs the question...who the #### made this hire? This guy transitioned from the regime that preceded Harbough. They had eight years to observe him. He was a positional coach. I can't even...
Click to expand...
My theory is that with all the retirements, the Kaepernick regression, the Aldon Smith fiasco and Harbaugh fleeing that the GM pulled a "Major League" with this team, hired the least qualified guy he could find internally and basically punted on the whole season. They've accumulated something like 16 draft picks for this year, have the 7th overall draft slot and are going to try to hire Sean Payton to groom their QB of the future. If you know the team is going to stink, you might as well stink all the way and the best way to insure that was hiring Jim Tomsula to lead them.

 
General Malaise said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
He looks like the kind of guy that yells at the BWW staff because they don't have the Titans/Jaguars game on the big screen.
Click to expand...
He absolutely looks like the kind of guy who would fart at a urinal and smile at the guy next to him.
Click to expand...
He looks like the kind of guy that gets excited for the Kern County Fair free concert line-up.

2015 BUDWEISER PAVILION CONCERT SERIES

· Wed. 9/23 BUD PAV – Beach Boys – Rock - 8:00pm

· Thur. 9/24 BUD PAV - Blue Oyster Cult – Rock - 8:00pm

· Sat 9/26 Bud PAV - John Anderson – Country - 8:00pm

· Mon- 9/28 - Parmalee - 8:00pm -

· Tue. 9/29 BUD PAV - Loverboy – R & B - 8:00pm

· Wed. 9/30 BUD PAV - Three Dog Night - R & B - 8:00pm
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
General Malaise said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
He looks like the kind of guy that yells at the BWW staff because they don't have the Titans/Jaguars game on the big screen.
Click to expand...
He absolutely looks like the kind of guy who would fart at a urinal and smile at the guy next to him.
Click to expand...
He looks like the kind of guy that gets excited for the Kern County Fair free concert line-up.

2015 BUDWEISER PAVILION CONCERT SERIES

· Wed. 9/23 BUD PAV Beach Boys Rock - 8:00pm

· Thur. 9/24 BUD PAV - Blue Oyster Cult Rock - 8:00pm

· Sat 9/26 Bud PAV - John Anderson Country - 8:00pm

· Mon- 9/28 - Parmalee - 8:00pm -

· Tue. 9/29 BUD PAV - Loverboy R & B - 8:00pm

· Wed. 9/30 BUD PAV - Three Dog Night - R & B - 8:00pm
Click to expand...
He looks like the kind of guy who could #### up a sport tag.

ETA: Damnit

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Bill Cowher looks like the overly intense softball dad who never had a son and is trying to live out his unrealized sports dreams through his obese daughter who plays 1st base and who he refers to as a power-hitter. 

 
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