Englishteacher
Footballguy
this is a non football type of thing so I hope FBG's doesn't mind.... :
"Have you ever been driving for a long period of time in heavy traffic or in a downpour and then realize you’ve been on the edge of your seat, both hands clamped on the steering wheel, and teeth clenched?
For about three hours?
That’s been me the last 5-6 weeks. ............................. (edit) So it’s been a worrisome month and a half.
Thankfully, the tension, the anxiety, it all melted away last Wednesday.
.......................... (edit) ; it was all thanks to Joe Cullen, the Lions’ Defensive Line Coach.
I never did get out to the movies to see Clerks II this summer, and for the record I’m the biggest fan of the original you’ll find, dating back to the first week it came out on video in like 1994. The sequel, which came out this summer, currently has a rating of 8.1 stars out of 10 on IMBD.com, higher than classics such as Platoon, Gladiator, and even Gandhi. But I wonder aloud if that fine film will make me laugh and break up the pressure as effectively as Joe Cullen did last week.
In case you (somehow) haven’t heard, Cullen was pulled over on September 6th and arrested on suspicion of drunken driving. Turns out, he had been arrested previously, a week earlier, for driving while nude, or as I’ve always termed it, DWN (the N standing for naked, nude, whichever you prefer).
The Lions said alcohol was involved. Jeez I sure hope it was.
He was actually busted because he pulled into a Wendy’s drive-through while naked, which brings me to an inevitable zinger:
“Where’s the Beef? I’ll show you where the beef is!!”
The Wendy’s worker said Cullen “didn’t do anything obscene other than being naked at the drive-thru.” That’s like saying Jessica Alba is "nothing special, other than being the most attractive female in the history of humankind.”
Maybe I’m out of touch these days, but it doesn’t seem to have affected others like it’s affected me. I can’t stop laughing. Maybe I’ve crossed some sort of line of dementia due to my exhaustion because it’s been almost a week. Seems like for everyone else it was the unusual story of the day, but that was last week’s news. Dude was driving while naked, that’s whacked, move on. I haven’t moved on yet, but I’d least now I’m only chuckling, as opposed to laughing my ### off. The guy was driving around naked and pulled into a fast-food drive-in. He actually ordered.
For the record Cullen ordered a single combo: burger, fries and a drink. Apparently he’s a simple man; he doesn’t need much; food and shelter will do.
"These incidents represent a mistake in judgment on my part,” said Cullen.
To me, once I saw that poignant quote all was forgiven. He really hit it out of the park with that one.
“Next time, I’ll go only half-naked, the bottom half, so no one can see,” added Cullen.
Okay, I made that last quote up.
Now before you get on me for kicking a man while he’s down (and naked), let’s keep in mind Cullen is a deserving target: He who was fired from the University of Mississippi in March 2005 after being arrested for public drunkenness in a restaurant and was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after the nude drive-thru incident.
After!!!
The real question is: How the hell did this guy get a job, and did was he dressed on his interview?
Actually, I’m not ripping Mr. Cullen, I’m thanking him. It takes balls to drive around naked….well, if you’re a dude it does. Thank you, Joe Cullen, for your bizarre driving habits got me through a real rough patch. To me, you’re a hero.
And that’s the naked truth. "
Pretty funny take on a well discussed issue. Matt Millen decisions just keep on impressing. They didn't automatically fire this guy?
"Have you ever been driving for a long period of time in heavy traffic or in a downpour and then realize you’ve been on the edge of your seat, both hands clamped on the steering wheel, and teeth clenched?
For about three hours?
That’s been me the last 5-6 weeks. ............................. (edit) So it’s been a worrisome month and a half.
Thankfully, the tension, the anxiety, it all melted away last Wednesday.
.......................... (edit) ; it was all thanks to Joe Cullen, the Lions’ Defensive Line Coach.
I never did get out to the movies to see Clerks II this summer, and for the record I’m the biggest fan of the original you’ll find, dating back to the first week it came out on video in like 1994. The sequel, which came out this summer, currently has a rating of 8.1 stars out of 10 on IMBD.com, higher than classics such as Platoon, Gladiator, and even Gandhi. But I wonder aloud if that fine film will make me laugh and break up the pressure as effectively as Joe Cullen did last week.
In case you (somehow) haven’t heard, Cullen was pulled over on September 6th and arrested on suspicion of drunken driving. Turns out, he had been arrested previously, a week earlier, for driving while nude, or as I’ve always termed it, DWN (the N standing for naked, nude, whichever you prefer).
The Lions said alcohol was involved. Jeez I sure hope it was.
He was actually busted because he pulled into a Wendy’s drive-through while naked, which brings me to an inevitable zinger:
“Where’s the Beef? I’ll show you where the beef is!!”
The Wendy’s worker said Cullen “didn’t do anything obscene other than being naked at the drive-thru.” That’s like saying Jessica Alba is "nothing special, other than being the most attractive female in the history of humankind.”
Maybe I’m out of touch these days, but it doesn’t seem to have affected others like it’s affected me. I can’t stop laughing. Maybe I’ve crossed some sort of line of dementia due to my exhaustion because it’s been almost a week. Seems like for everyone else it was the unusual story of the day, but that was last week’s news. Dude was driving while naked, that’s whacked, move on. I haven’t moved on yet, but I’d least now I’m only chuckling, as opposed to laughing my ### off. The guy was driving around naked and pulled into a fast-food drive-in. He actually ordered.
For the record Cullen ordered a single combo: burger, fries and a drink. Apparently he’s a simple man; he doesn’t need much; food and shelter will do.
"These incidents represent a mistake in judgment on my part,” said Cullen.
To me, once I saw that poignant quote all was forgiven. He really hit it out of the park with that one.
“Next time, I’ll go only half-naked, the bottom half, so no one can see,” added Cullen.
Okay, I made that last quote up.
Now before you get on me for kicking a man while he’s down (and naked), let’s keep in mind Cullen is a deserving target: He who was fired from the University of Mississippi in March 2005 after being arrested for public drunkenness in a restaurant and was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after the nude drive-thru incident.
After!!!
The real question is: How the hell did this guy get a job, and did was he dressed on his interview?
Actually, I’m not ripping Mr. Cullen, I’m thanking him. It takes balls to drive around naked….well, if you’re a dude it does. Thank you, Joe Cullen, for your bizarre driving habits got me through a real rough patch. To me, you’re a hero.
And that’s the naked truth. "
Pretty funny take on a well discussed issue. Matt Millen decisions just keep on impressing. They didn't automatically fire this guy?
